depression ....down and then OUT!

The past few weeks I have 'submitted' to depression. It was like a pit....my head doesnt think well, appetite increased, mood swings......
haha, didnt even feel like smiling....and ya, didnt feel like doing exercise...which doesnt help
DID NT noe that the depression could be self-sustainable if I didnt do anythg abt it

My parents did ask and were quite puzzled in the beg....they thot it's becoz I have yet found a job...then they stopped asking...

Ya, it's partly coz of the job search...which drained me...after sending countless resumes (i keep a record), going out for many interviews...preparation needed beforehand....'hyping' myself up...
I merely n actually went by each day wif low confidence. YUCKZ...like a time-bomb that couldnt even explode...just chose to be dangerously dormant. hahaahaa....
THEN i decided, miraculously (thks for praying) that I would walk out of it. I started reading newspapers in a diff. way (not just the Life Section 4 fashion n movies)....but other stuff like Recruit...like the industries which I am interested to work in...to find out what knowledge i lack or wat skills I shd be prepared to have if I want to seriously do those.

Oya, also had more time to talk to my parents...started to listen to their advice...though not all is useful, I had some vulnerability --that's enuff to 'crack' me, the v.stubborn nut.
AND also spoke to my pastor and cg leader...got them to help me..not just pray but asked for counsel.
What really helped me is God, who sends pple to encourage me, even when I dun wan any. AND little surprises like gd frens' smses....and calling fr some old frens...we met up.

HAHA....so can you see why I named my blog cloud n rainbow? Coz I noe there will always be clouds and rainbows!!!!
jiayou!!!!!
God loves each n every one of us...and is always calling us...coz we are children of God, not meant to be rats in the race. We will have to work hard and be smart--noe that Surely.Man.Arent.Really.The Lord of our lives.

after puking

haah
after puking a few times on Mon wee hours...actualli cleared my stomach of all the rubbish I took for the past 1-2 weeks.
was depressed actualli and couldnt do much except to eat loh
haha
good to empty my stomach after stressing it with so much rich food....bread, cakes, rice, muesli bars, etc etc.
I have a sweet tooth you see.
Come to think of it, learnt a lot more...now got chance to examine my strengths and weaknesses...that day talked to my pastor and cried and cried...duno how I became less and less joyful in these 2 yrs...noe that I have some issues unresolved.
Then read a few of my frenz' blog too...
theirs are so so so much more reader-friendly than mine! I got so much fun reading and yes, this good gal fren of mine---her bro is really interesting...very gd in coming up with ideas. so young alreadi so creative, sure go a long way
I really dunno how I will survive this no job period...sometimes feel so useless...worry. Sometimes I am so happy, coz I learn not to take things for granted. AND i realise I very lazy...dream too much is no gd!
Live the present.
God bless yoU! =0)
pukin' is done, back to work...thank God for all the part-time assignments, which is a means of livelihood for me, for some 'luxurious' treats like a new christian cd i got today. Yipee!!!!

cya k

yucks....fell ill

haha,
realised I do not have the habit of writing a blog...recently read one of my gal fren's blog, hers is so updated...so fun to read.

I vomitted 3 times last nite and had diarrhoea once this morn....thank God I did not have any other vomit or diarrhoea.
Saw a doc yest. and resting at home....so nice to sleep and sleep.