positively me

it is impossible to feel happy without good things happening... yet I do. In fact, despite knowing that I have done wrong or made a lot of mistakes.

This is a dance devotion motion which I will be presenting...in the midst of the lostness, the wilderness I feel these few months. hope everything comes through fine.

You rescued me, and picked me up
A living hope, of grace revealed
A life transformed, in righteousness
Oh Lord you have rescued me

Forgiving me, you healed my heart
And set me free, from sin and death
You brought me life, you've made me whole
Oh Lord you have rescued me

And you loved me, before I knew you
And you knew me for all time
I've been created in your image, oh Lord
And you brought me
And you sought me
Your blood poured out for me
A new creation in your image, oh Lord
You rescued me
You rescued me

I actualli have much more to share abt my journey in many different areas--esp. after I became a christian. Perhaps it is not necessary to share more here. If you would like to read about thy story, why I talk abt God so much, a gal so like that.... email me. =0)

i am weird

these few days have been v tough coz things happen.........haha
i almost quarrelled wif my bro,
i realised i am still so emotional....

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

many areas of my life developed

in these 2 years when I slowly put down my urge to get attached, I admit sometimes or many times i am not feeling. Coz I am v emotional, thus chose not to feel at times....sort of waiting for my own emotional state to be stabilised.
ya....i used to hunger over love like nobody's biz...and am not shy abt it...

it's just that I need someone to love and be wif...
THEN....i realise God doesnt want me to be in love for love sake. He's not depriving me of love too...just that love is too much my addiction.

i began to develop other areas of my live, slowly, very slowly in fact. Now still developing...
1st, my stability as a person, efficiency in doing things, ability to take care of little character stuff like envy, impatience, jealousy, etc.

haha, anger too.

finally I am free of all these...thus begin to seek love again. AND yet again, I feel weird. Like I swung to the other extreme, not feeling the normal way,afraid to be addicted to love yet not able to be happy as single.
OKAY, i noe that being single is not what God meant for most of us. i.e. only those with the GIFT of celibacy does remain single.

We will be able to get attached!
haha, so it's time for me to noe guys NORMALLY and noe them as frenz...not have too much fear. =p

just me

hi...hope this gets through!

duno how to put this down in words...but am v happy now, it's like a sense of peace in my heart.
been feeling like dying these few weeks or months. I think I have really lost the purpose to live/meaning in what I do.
I'm sure this feeling is not alien to many as even my driver fren shared that wif me.

it's a hard life for me the past few years, esp. in the years when my ambition was on ministry, as a christian. I got very obsessed.

I felt depressed when I work v hard but do not get what I want. I am lost.
I would feel sad at times but I dont noe how to get out of it. Most prob. I didnt noe that I was lost.

It's really destructive to be ambitious. For the wrong reasons. How I began to realise that I am ambitious for the wrong reasons is when I realise I lost the love for people--genuinely. The v first reason why I believe in Jesus was, His love. His unconditional love for me. His love enabled me to be free from fear. His love which was a kind love.

I really do not noe how to put it across to people now. My prayer last nite was that I want to be able to be normal.

I realised that I stopped laughing...I lost my sharpness in making decisions.
Thank God that He brought me out of my wrong perceptions, through people (be they christians and non-christians), through my pastor, through my family, esp. my brother.

God started to be real to my fren too, via speaking to her...hehe, she tested God by asking Him if she could pass a singing audition, and then subsequently if she could have the ability to join both (i) a youth expedition trip and (ii) a singing course. She is not rich with financial resources.

I was also deep in entanglement wif my emotions...I duno how to react normally to guys and didnt noe what to do wif the huge amount of emotions that I have.
I once thought that escaping my emotions was sufficient, but I never thot the backlash would come..... hehe, it came in form of death. GOD actually just wants me to tell Him honestly how I feel.
What I do (actions) may affect, but at least I tell Him and He directs me as my heart is open...=0)

Ultimate Frisbee!

hihi...today is Tue...so shiok, after resting for two whole days...
=0)
today was great....had a go at Ultimate Frisbee....work out is good. Initially had a slight discomfort in body, was not well, BUT after workout, i feel energised!!!!!!!

sob sob....leaving my colleagues next FRI....will keep in touch wif them....thinking of having a bbq with them soon....

love you all gals! You are a sporty, exciting and fun bunch!!!!!!!!!

Monday MorNinG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gd morn all...hehe, today Meifen asked for my correct Blog add.!
=p

Btw, it's so cool, i cried so much on Sat and Sun and now finally refreshed...can sense God's love once again, despite me having so much misconception abt Him.

God loves you!