Heartfelt

I think I found someone who actually listens to what I say and thinks it's important...

傻子

给自己的劝告。

拜托你，不要在这样感情用事，做出傻事了。

你也顺便来听听吧。

My 2015

I don't like how I am affected by all these minor stuffs. Feeling lousy that I can't manage these negative feelings and channel them elsewhere.

It doesn't help that everyone I love about this place aren't going to be around.... Bleargh.

2015, what do we have in store for each other...

Outside of work

I think I have rediscovered my interests (when shopping stops being just it).

1. Music - currently, cello

2. Photography - hope to freeze that special moment

And my 2015 shall be about these as well, not just work, shopping, pigging out and getting myself tangled in messes.

Time to start loving myself again.

Oh and I got a haircut for the new year! Hip hip hooray! Bob in the house!

(Yes, I know I need more sleep too..)

We need to talk

When was the last time you felt someone truly trying to understand what you were thinking about? And even analyzed the situation on your behalf and offering unbiased opinions

And all these from the least expected person.

The last thing I need is judgement from those who doesn't have an idea of how things are. If you want to throw stones, go to a pond for god's sake.

到不了

有些东西，当你开始觉得有力气放开时，要为自己加油。

Que sera sera

还是秋天

今天，你是决定握紧，还是放手。

To be continued...

冷冬天

觉得今天有点不寻常的冷。还是秋天，怎么会这样呢。

是因为心里已经是秋天吗？还是缺了个空，冷风不停的往里面吹？

等冬天真的到时，要我怎么过。。。

P/S:很对不起今天受到我cold shoulder的人们。。。

梅

「自分の気持ちに素直にしたら？」

没了小梅子、我应该完了。

ココロ

実は話すかけてくれると、どの時どんだけココロが折れても癒されるよ。

「いちばんたいせつなことは、目に見えない」

And my friend, I dedicate this to you, the stubborn one.

Jet coasters

I think the talking about the trip was actually one of the best part of it (not that it wasn't good, but anticipation is always good). Pretty much enjoyed watching those videos (for prep) and pricking fun at how I'm gonna end up going on the ride myself.

Was kinda worried that the drive might end up pretty dry but thank god things turned out well, topics didn't run out and we reached pretty fast, no jams!

Started queuing up for the first ride, which took us 1h40mins in the queue, 2 mins on the ride! But I would say good strategy, coz it gave me a good warm up to go ahead for the crazier one!

ええじゃないかtook us forever, I forgot if I was in the queue for over 2h30?! Halfway, i actually forgot what I was queuing up for... But it was all worth it, super awesome ride that releases all that pent up feelings!

Queuing was actually good coz that's when we talked, and ended up showing your true self. People tend to behave how they really are when they are tired I guess. So there we go, exploring the world of the weirdo and (trying to) reason it all out.

All those talks about cold fingers, palm lines and yellow skin make me wanna giggle out loud (but did it all deep inside)! How about stiff necks and shoulders?

The haunted hospital freaked the hell out of me, and I was trying to be funny all the way and even attempted to scare some of the ghosts! Good that we went for this one too, coz it was a really good experience trying to hide behind and tag along someone, while directing the ghosts towards the more delicious guy. Though, I doubt I will go for this one a second time...

There was talk about UK, and how I won't find ほうとうthere. I'm sure that wasn't the point but the mood was just kinda せつない as we talked about it. I didn't wanna breach the matter about Asia but I always wanted to prove the point that it's not just me but mutually, there's ambitions and stuffs that keep people apart.

There wasn't a jam on the way back, I could feel the disappointment in the air as everyone headed back before time. But hey at least the trip was fun and walking back was a nice affair too.

It feels like an end is waiting to jump upon us...

Green

千万记得天涯有人在等待
路程再多遥远不要不回来

And you buddy!! Don't forget whose side your suppose to be on!

ニク

Yesterday (Friday) was a fun affair. I haven't laughed so much for a loooooong while, except those crazy sessions with the girls. glad to have taken the efforts to rearrange my schedule to meet up! It was an interesting experience to know more about how *ahem* weird people work deep down :p

Walked home again, from Shin Maru back home. Glad to have company this time since it was always alone. It was as though we just continued our topics at dinner and continued laughing our way back... My feet felt like they finally got separated from my body after I reached home and sat on the sofa....

It was kinda awkward when we finally reached the final cross road... I don't see how the bridge was narrow but I think I got the meaning of it... Even the continuation of the topics while I was walking back alone left me laughing inside...

Was at my first ever baseball match, Giants vs DENA! Didn't understand abit if baseball before the game so spent the first hour trying to understand the rules and stuffs, and struggling to stay awake... It was pretty interesting towards the end when Giants started to score and I got to see things move beyond first base (and learn more rules)... Would have been even better if they faced a stronger rival!

Was lucky enough to catch some seasonal finale (of a Giants at Tokyo Dome) and this year is their 80th anniversary! So it was kinda educational and touching for me to see how the team and their fans support each other...

Typhoon today so I brought back the company PC yesterday.... Gotta work, and just in case the typhoon prevents me from reaching office, I get to do some stuffs...

耳邊風

これ、最近はまってる。

I own it

We are born with nothing, and leave the world with nothing.

But as far as I am now, there are some things I own the rights to.
Like penning down my thoughts and not having to be told to feel bad about it (unless I really think so).

I can almost feel the audit peak starting, as if it's just crashing down slowly and I imagine hearing a gabarabaraaaaa sound as it does. My last few months went past with me on a couple of non-audit consulting stuffs, which practically will leave me working from the start of the last peak (Oct 2013?) to the end of the next (say May 2015, optimistically)? Gonna be best friends with the station 駅員 and oyajis waiting for last trains... And of cos, burn my pocket with cab rides. There's going to be one less support this year end, and that really make me miss the good old days... Arrrggghhhh...

Been making efforts to go out with the geek... Coz it hurts to see him looking so hopeful even I've prob said the meanest things to him ever... Well and trying to meet up for dinner more often, though my plans get sabotaged most of the time.

Drinking sessions have become a weekly affair, and I find myself spending more time with umeko... Perhaps the impending separation brought us closer... Perhaps the end of her diet plans (for now) was a relief for both of us... Felt like I was walking on stiff chest, restraining myself from asking her out for dinner. After she's gone, I can imagine my life turning duller.... Maybe I should check out with the Yamaha people what's taking them so long to get me playmates...

Last Fri was a whirlwind session. Dinner with the 2 guys, and then one of them just said he had to leave suddenly. Then we finally got to meet up with the homecoming boy, nice to have been able to catch up with him... And I finally got to meet the superstar doggy... The ride home was kinda "unsmooth" and I had prob convincing myself to get into the house door... I'm that weird..

Work tmr, even though it's a holiday... But at least it's going to be a quiet day (or so I hope)... I actually don't like to be put in charge/full responsibility of engagements.... And I'm doing it coz ppl look like they will die if they can't find someone to do it. Will be in the field with 2 boys... One of which is too initiative and I've learnt to better control him before he acts too smart and lead us off track. The other one likes to ask (pretty intelligent) questions, and I like engaging him in conversations which make us think abt better approaches... I wish I have more time to do so, instead of letting the other one lead him in the wrong direction, and me going back to face a messy scene.

Someone asked me to wait. I'm not sure what that means coz I wasn't particularly expecting sth in return. So that felt me feeling dazed for the past 2 days and I can only hope work will make me forget it... Similar things happened at PPR when they assumed they knew what I wanted, which was all wrong. I left the room feeling dark clouds in my head.

This looks like it's going to be yet another crazy week...
And please don't push youself too hard, crazy worm, which I know you will....

Here's a pic I love of Germany from the trip! I promise to be back! ;)

And Turkey? You have my words..

2 more days...

我的生日愿望是要学会享受孤单，不怕寂寞。

当然，也要希望大家健康快乐 :)

Bah-

你凭什么。。。

开口

其实今天很想看看星星的，但怎么都找不到。

才发现今天满天乌云。

Impulse

What is life without impulse?

Have you been living your life all planned out, risk adverse?

Some might say they don't want to live in regret.

Then again, not having acted on impulse might leave you in regret at your deathbed, not having taken those jumps off the cliff when chance presented itself.

Hmm this has been a pretty efficient week, having achieved what we planned to get done. But I'm pretty sleepy most of the time in the day due to going to bed at night... Explains why the extra visits to starbucks..

Last weekend was pretty good too :) went for impromptu drinks, walked home from Ginza (again...) but didn't manage to catch any stars as it was too cloudy. The day after went for cello trial class in ginza and loved it! The deep tone! And then a visit to the planetarium turned out to be a visit to the science museum and toilet exhibition. Take what life presents and enjoy it as it comes.

Oh and Taiwan was good too! Had a lot of good food (perpetually bloated), shopped abit, went for karaoke, lived JiuFen, and enjoyed the live pub a lot! Can't believe we did so much in just 3 days :) and Taiwanese are such warm creatures! Hearts them!!

Oh and having decided to go for cello class, gonna be checking out another class this Sun coz it's nearer to where we usually hang out during the weekends. And dinner and drinks with A! Oh my buddy, what would life be without him!

Kinda looking forward to next week too, with the dinner dates in place! There's just one I'm.... Not very sure about..... Then about work, not exactly fun stuffs coming up but やることはやるしかない。。。

And then in another week plus, I will be a year older (not necessarily wiser...)! Time passes! It's yet another year!!

Watching stars! Will be looking out for venues in the city where we can look up the skies and wave hi to them....

Finally, grandma's health is taking a turn for the better! We have a chat room with live updates on who's at the hospital, her status, readings etc... Glad to see the family getting together to support grandma in recovering, despite their numerous whatever....

Coz it's going to get better :)

Rationale

We have so many people trying to be rationale in this world, it takes the fun out of their lives. And as if it's not enough, they want to take it away from you too! U won't get your way with me coz I will stay random for as long as I want to.


Was looking at some photos from the last year (coz ehem my mom just reminded me to take my mee sua with eggs today) and realized I've had a fun year, though at some point in time it was so tough I wondered why I put myself through it. Being obstinate and blur helps a lot at times. I also realized, to my utter surprise (and those around me) that I'm really much more active and joyous during Oct - May - read: when temperatures do not hit over 30deg. My fave time of the year is actually Christmas and the period after where you can snuggle in bed or winter clothes! Now who's calling me weird.

Which leads me to my point - I suffer in summer, what they call 夏バテ. Especially Tokyo's? People always think that since I came from Sunny Island = Love summer, heat, sun. No, not all Singaporeans are fond of the heat, and I would say most of us don't do a good job of handling it yet. Back to this, I found myself having a hard time, ever since coming back from my Europe trip. There are days I found myself not being able to work as well as before and all I could think of is to head down for another cup of ice coffee (but of course, there's always other 769 things leaping around in my mind)... I feel bad for the new project (non-audit) coz the SM actually wanted me in coz he felt I did well in his last project... And I just feel like I'm letting these people down every single day, as much as I've tried. Thought of asking to work later in the day but it would seem absurd to this gang of people who pride themselves at starting work at 9.15am even though official starting time is 9.30am. Just for info, my team's unofficial starting time is 10am... Anyway, gotta think of how to do better towards the end of this project....

Not helping that the audit peak is coming.... again.......

On to happier stuffs.

I finally signed up for the cello class! First for the trial lesson since I'm kinda fussy about chemistry with the teacher... I know there are some kinds of music freaks teachers whom I should avoid (just very personal) so better to be on the safe side...wanted to go for the studio at Yurakucho but they didn't have lessons except for weekday evenings (imagine going for music class with my dead soul, and that is to assume I made it to class, in time for anything). So signed up for the one at Ginza, abit of walk from the train station (see above mentioned on my weakness for summer heat).... Let's just see how things go from here! I really want to work on this since it's one of the items on my bucket list (and I don't wanna go into details). Pity the cello that has been sitting around collecting dust so let's do some good with it while I imagine Jay Chou in action ;p

Flying off to Taipei for a really short trip, and I get a feeling it's going to be about food food food... Ewww.... I mean I love pigging out, but not when you will be motivated by food the whole 2 days. Hope I don't call it quits halfway bleargh, and get to visit 九分 and 淡水 at the very least..

Life has been so-so... I no longer enjoy going out with the Geek and I know this has got to be the earnest things to say..... I do make an effort to spend time with him but most of the while I rather work away or hang out with friends.... On the other hand, I do not have much idea what's going on at the other end, but I prefer to think of it as nothing so that I can simply set a fire to nothingness and flee. The trip has also gave me lotsa time to stop and think about my life.... Let's just say what you want may not always be what you do... Sometimes we give up being idealists and stay put onto the ground and live a plain contented life (see reference to the rationale ppl above).

Grandma hasn't been in the best state these days, which has got the whole family worrying.... There are times when I feel compelled to grab the first ticket out of town.... But I don't wanna do that just anyhow coz it means I'm giving up on the lady.....

Planning to cycle to Tsukiji for brekkie, while the sun isn't out and the day isn't hot yet. That's why I'm staying up coz I reckoned it's less painful than having me wake up this early. We need more random people in this world, seriously.

To end this off, the sunset from yesterday night, which left me lusting after the pink and blue clouds....