This past week has been a time for me to reflect on the nature of myself. I have come to the conclusion that I am sick. And as I have mentioned the nature of my illness to others, I have realized that many of us are unfortunately infected with the same poison. No, no. I am not talking about the swine flu. Perhaps the H1N1 virus has a better prognosis and less devastating symptoms than what I have. There is no proven cure for what I suffer from. No, no. I am not talking about my rheumatoid arthritis. The RA is much more bearable and less shameful.
The disease has many symptoms that came to greater light with this past week of "fall break". It would seem rational to believe that time is the cure, but I assure you it is only a provoker that awakens the sleeping giant. I won't keep you in suspense any longer. The sickness I speak of is procrasitnitis. okay, so I made up the disease. But if it were such a diagnosis I guarantee I suffer from a moderate to severe case depending on the time I have allotted.
Alright, lets start from the beginning. Given a whole week off of school, I wasn't about to lie to myself and say that I wasn't going to take advantage of the opportunity to sleep in. I told myself that if I rewarded myself with more sleep, I would have more energy and motivation to complete my assignments on my To Do List at the beginning of the week since I had a whole week. An entire 168 hours of open time! oh. On the contrary my dear friends. I love to sleep more than practically anyone I know. I can get 10 hours of sleep at night and still enjoy a nice hour nap in the afternoon. Landon will attest to it. I like to think of it as a skill because sometimes it's hard to come up with any. Anytime, anywhere folks.
Maybe procrastinitis is more of a disorder or addiction. Let me explain. I am about to admit to the humiliating and shameful expressions of my problem. I didn't even realize what a big problem I may have until I was too embarrassed to answer my door when the bell rang around 5 pm. And why was I so embarrassed you ask? Well, it was Tuesday, I was still in my pajama's, bra less, bedhead, and hadn't even washed my face yet. Landon came home to see me on the couch looking just the same as he had left me. Oh the shame. He had to rub it in with asking in quite an endearing tone "what did you do today?"
Let me tell you what I did... I watched an entire days worth of Grey's anatomy reruns. Ellen, followed by Oprah ( I don't even give a crap about Mike Tyson! It's complete torture as an aspiring speech therapist to listen to him try to speak), Law & Order:SVU, CSI, and foodnetwork Challenges. Every now and then I'd get my exercise by taking the 4 steps to my computer to check my email and read status updates on facebook and then 5 more steps to my refrigerator for a look around and then 3 steps back to my sanctuary aka my couch.
I'm slightly proud but more bashful that I was also able to complete four 300 piece jig saw puzzles in only a few days. Why is it that I stare at my planner with a list of 5 things that I have plenty of time to do, and I cannot seem to gather up the muster to even do one a day? ONE A DAY?! that's not too much to ask! It's not like I have anything better to do. I manage to find time to visit peyton and paint my nails and go grocery shopping but an assignment I've known about for weeks I put on the back burner until the night before.
Is there some sort of hidden thrill we get from putting off the inevitable until the last minute? I know I am not the only one to procrastinate. But why do we do it? We all know it would be far less stressful and far more time efficient to just do what is required, and then resort to doing the "fun" things like watching worthless TV shows after. This sickness we call procrastination is hated and yet, embraced. Why?! It kills me. Even now, I'm blogging when I should be writing 5 abstracts I have due next Tuesday. haha. I've written more than enough here that would cover the time and words spent on the research abstracts. Rationalism and logic are thrown away. What is it about the human nature that gives us a voice inside saying get it done now, but we would rather wait until time and pressure are there and we stay up late freaking out over something we should have done sooner. We make a promise to ourselves that we have learned our lesson and do not want to have to go through the stress again... I don't think I have to write about the "next time". It's a never ending cycle. Oh boy.
I guess there is something inside me (perhaps the true etiology of the disorder) that tells me I've never not turned anything in on time. I've never not gotten the things finished by their deadlines. I may have stressed or stayed up all night or gotten up early in the morning to complete my obligations, but it got done. I guess that's why it's called procrastination and not "incompletion". Welp, now that I've used this blog as another means to scaffold my illness, I think I'll go to bed!
Disclaimer (for the sake of my mother who might worry): This is simply a satirical and exaggerated write-up. (kind of )... haha
A little time home
6 years ago