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Friday, March 14, 2014 我的沉默，我的难过
 就这样你离开了一年。这些日子我过得不好受。爱上了一个人，是真心爱她的。不过因为不想让她伤得更深，就这么和她分了。 我好不喜欢我的生活。什么都不缺，就只是缺了爱。我是一个很沉默的人。是很想有一个人能够真的了解我。当我最需要一个人的时候她会在我的身边。我只是想有一个人让我赖着就好。 于是我已经做了这个打算。就算在有很多朋友也没用， 没人真的了解我，我总被忽略。所以我想开始慢慢地从他们的生活中消失，这也包括了她。这样就没有人记得我的存在。当每个人都忙着自己的生活，忘了我，我想那时候也已经是我该在我的生命里挂上句号... ...所以请你在那里等我，这里的事完成后，我就会去和你重逢。 Emo at 7:13 PM Thursday, January 24, 2013
Extracted from: "http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/editorpick/1551192/love_story_eugenia_and_clement.html"  Eugenia Cheok first met Clement Tay in online game Maplestory, and somehow they evolved from being an in-game couple to meeting in real life and finally falling in love. Said Eugenia: "How we met: "It was a shocking revelation. We met in a game called 'Maplestory' 5 years ago (2007) and was in the same Guild. We did not talk to each other much at that point of time and just like normal friends, we only asked each other for favors. "After a year (2008), I quit MapleStory but played back for a while. There, it was a season of joy and laughter -- Christmas season came. Nexon (company of Maplestory) had created this couple ring called the ‘Mistletoe ring’. "As excited as I was about trying it out for the effects, I tried looking for someone who is active in-game and stays in the same training area as I am. My friends told me to look for Clement (lzanagi) and so I did, and there our love blossomed even though we never met each other. "About after a month, I organized a guild chalet, the dates of the chalet were 22-24 December. My friends dragged Clement along to the party on it’s 2nd day, and it totally shocked me as at that point of time we had never seen each other’s faces. Only casual talk on the telephone but nothing more. "After Christmas, we went out several times, and months later (as naïve as we were) we fell in love. This proves that although there were risks involved, meeting people from games to real life, but it shows that the relationship can last in terms of not being puppy love. "What made us fall for each other: "I fell in love with Clement’s smile. To me, it was genuine and nothing in the world can ever replace him. He was a very cute and funny guy, who loved to make jokes and loved to laugh. We didn’t exactly fall in love so quickly. On a certain night, he called me on my phone and said he got something to ask: It went something like this- "“Hey I got something to ask you. It’s a bit sudden, but uhm.. Will you be my girlfriend?” "Yes, cliché. But nonetheless it is funny looking back at it, that I agreed without much haste as I very much liked him as well. "Challenges faced, and sacrifices made: "Distance travelled. I stay in the East, Kembangan. He stays in the west, Lakeside. By MRT, it will take about 1 hour to reach to each other’s destinations. This went on for the 4 years we’re together. By MRT, by Car, by bus. So we only see each other at most, 3 times a week. Then during school periods, he will be at Woodlands. He then had to travel from Woodlands to Kembangan as well. This proved a challenge as he had back problems from an old injury, yet he endured the back pains (no seats on bus/MRT) to come and meet me. "Honeymoon phase & quarrels. Similar to other couples, we faced a period of honeymoon that lasted 6 months. Our first 6 months was totally peaceful, I thought he was “the one” then came the arguments. I read online that a guy’s thinking is at first he tries to woo you, he is so into wooing you, he totally neglects his own feelings. Then he started to wonder if this was the right girl to be with, and if he does broke up, it does not much of a damage to him, but it damages the girl who already fell so much in love, unreasonable, but yes, I feel this is true to an extent. "The arguments varied from something as small as “You did not say this just now” to “I have no feelings for you anymore”. It was a very unstable relationship at that point of time, but with help from friends, and my perseverance, we succeeded. I was thankful he was not fickle minded though. "Hobby conflicts. He did not like my hobby – Cosplay and singing, and this made it difficult for me to join groups and bands, but I did not mind, as if I were in his shoes, I would not like it too. "Army. Every Singaporean male’s nightmare. To have their girlfriend leave them during the most important period or phase in their life. He enlisted in July 2012, into Basic Military Training, Pulau Tekong. Obviously this was a challenge. To maintain the relationship, I kept him updated of what I am up to: be it eating, doing work, reaching home etc. and at night, without fail (if he could) he will call me, even if the calls lasted 1 min to 60 mins. He will tell me what he done today, and going to do tomorrow. We’re both very honest, this is to avoid misunderstandings. "Then, we received news. He was to be posted to Officer Cadet School (OCS) SAFTI. To my horror, it was going to be tough on our relationship. It will strain, on the bus home from our holiday cruise trip, I cried. He held my hand and told me everything will be OK. Although there were no calls on some days unlike before, we were, now, still alright. "My personality. I was very restrictive of him, protective and maybe obsessed. I did not allow him to meet up or talk to his other polytechnic mates (female) and did not like it when he went out without me (males and/or females). A lot of the guys would then say: You should just break up with her. But he did not. He understood my insecurity and of course, kept a distance from his female friends. I gradually then learnt to accept his male friends and now, am pretty OK with anything except still- the girls. (haha) "Parents. My father’s side of the family did not know I met Clement from in-game. As I was still very young, only about 14+ when we got together. Of course, this was kept from my mother who did not know only until months later. My mother was furious that I am with someone i met in-game, but eventually she accepted him. Clement even came to Hong Kong (paid by selling our game stuff) with me just last year. "We had been together since 23rd December 2008, till today, 2013. It has been 4 years, and I just want to say: "'Thank you darling, for making my life so much better. I was bullied for all my primary and secondary school life. If it was not for you, I would not have had been in poly now. You made me shine, polished and took care of a girlfriend who cannot cook and clean. You’re the best I could ever have, I won’t ask for more, but for you to be safe. Like I had been saying for the past 4 years. You’re my number 1 priority in my heart. I will reject anything else that has to come in front of you. Loving you till we grow old.'" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Extract from: "http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/vday_love_story_2013/1556020/love_story_i_asked_fish_to_be_my_gf_a_day_after_we_had_first_met.html"  Edward said he fell in love with Fish when he first saw her, so he asked her to be his girlfriend the very next day. Edward elaborates: "How we first met: "I was drinking with my group of friends on Sep 8 2012, and one of my friend's said 'Hey Edward, this is Fish', so I introduced myself to her and slowly we exchanged numbers and eventually we both got drunk that night. "It was about 4am so my friend was telling me to send her back to her home, which I did. "And the next day I woke up I texted her to meet up for a movie, Step Up 4. "I had fallen in love with at first sight. "I went home that day and called her up to ask if she wanted to be my girlfriend. "I was surprised that she said 'Yes dear'. At that moment, I was very happy. "We had been together for three months and it was the last day of 2012 so I made a wish by writing on a ball stating 'I want to marry Fish'. "Our problems: "She called me after her Great Grandmother's wake and said 'Hey dear, my dad told me to get married with you if not in three years I can't get married'. "I was shocked to hear this news, and I had to make a decision immediately. "Without hesitation, I told her 'Ok, lets get our parents to meet up and get married'. "I was worried about broaching this subject to my dad. "I was only 20-years-old and still in NS. "I was afraid but in the end I managed to convince my dad and get his approval. "During these few months, we had a hard time as she was worried that I still had a childish mind set and was afraid that I would not be able to bring a proper family to her. "I told her, 'Don't worry, I will try my very best to be your ideal husband'. "Fish, here's what I want to say to you: "Dear, even though these few months we often quarrelled and we did not meet each other often as we both stayed far away from each other, my heart still loves you. "I will be your one and only best husband and bring a better family to you. "I hope that you understand I may be young and our age gap might be different, but I will learn and I will try my very best to give you what you need. "Just want to let you know, DEAR, I LOVE YOU. 03.07.2013" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  为什么就不能一点点地像他们？ 如过有一天你会读到我的部落格，以下就是想对你说的话，但说不出口。 好久不见，别来无恙？一天没见面似乎好几年没看到你。我不隐瞒我是真的好想你。这些日子过得很辛苦，只能看你有没有上 Facebook Messenger，假如没有会想你是否在睡觉，看网络片，还是出去。会和两位最好朋友呢，还是跟他过浪漫的一天。但看到你在 Online, 想和你说说话，怕你会嫌我烦，你需要私人空间。于是我只能没落“远远”的看你，把想对你说的话锁在心里。很狼狈吧？ 第一次见到你的时候，不知道为什么会有一种奇妙感觉仿佛在告诉我你就是我一直在寻找的那个女孩。想把握机会以防到时你和别的男生在一起我却来不及说我喜欢你，虽然我已经承认你也是知道了。 我一直都问自己，到底喜欢你什么。口里声声说因为我们格式相同，那只是简单的表明。 我喜欢你... ...因为你是你。 喜欢你的简单... ... 喜欢你的习惯... ... 喜欢你的可爱... ... 喜欢你的身高... ... 喜欢你的发香... ... 喜欢你的脸孔... ... 喜欢你的声音... ... 喜欢你的脾气... ... 喜欢你的善心... ... 天啊！就是对你这么多的喜欢，但你却喜欢不了我什么，也还是没办法打动你的心。 对不起，我不是个会说话的男生，不是个浪漫的人。 对不起，你已经告诉我现在没希望，在未来也没希望，我应该不能对你有任何期待。 对不起，我无法把你在我脑海里忘掉。 对不起，我不能像你的前男友他能给你的我没能力给。 对不起，原谅我的自私，请让我默默的住在你心里的末个角落。 是好想好想和你一起写我们的故事，好想好想让你做快乐的女生，好想好想让你体会我的真心，好想好想和你一起环游不熟悉的陌生街道。好想... ...好想... ... 既然你和他都复合了，虽然有点不甘心，也只好祝福你快乐。你的快乐就是我的快乐，我的难过算不了什么。好舍不得... ...真舍不得让你这样走了... ... Emo at 7:14 PM Friday, January 18, 2013
 好难受！非常难受！真的很难受！我的心真的受很大很重的伤。 我以为... ...只要努力，能够打动她的心。因为真的很害怕会看到她和别的男生在一起，一直努力。曾经受过了伤，很怕历史再从演，想爱护她，给她最好的。 ... ...我错了。她告诉过我她以前的恋情，我并没有问这么多，担心会让她难过。原本是想问... ...会不会跟前男友复合，于是没想这么多只是想好好把握机会。当我在喜欢她的时候，难道她心里还挂念以前的恋情？现在事情都变成这样了，是我自找自受。 她前男友是大马人，在澳洲读书，分手原因是因为距离太远。天真的我以为能给她新的开始，新的恋情。我的努力，我的付出，渐渐地变成她的烦。 昨天就跟前男友见面，以为因为前男友来新加坡玩，见面当作聚一聚。可是... ...昨晚她 upload 了和他一起合照的照片，看起来很亲密。复合了？真的复合了？ 我为什么这么心痛？他们复合更应该为她开心，为什么我会不甘心？她没有错，已经把话说清楚了，她不喜欢我，现在和未来都没有希望。为什么... ...我好像很舍不得，放不下？很想哭，因为心好痛好痛，真的好想哭。但是为什么眼泪就是流不出来？是不是已经受过伤，现在又再受多一次麻木了？我好乱，非常乱，谁能理解我的心情？ 现在她都已经回到别人的怀抱，我还能做什么？我是很爱她，但又同时恨她，是时候我在她的世界消失。 Emo at 6:45 AM Thursday, January 17, 2013 消失的心
 今天不小心看到她的 Facebook， 原来跟之前的男友见面。脸上带着的笑容和跟我在一起的时候真的很不一样，似乎好像更加快乐。 我在妒忌什么？ 从未开始， 就从未结束， 不是我的就不会属于我的。 我在担心什么? 他们若复合那好啊！更应该为她开心啊! 我很傻吧，在为一段没有未来的爱情等待，还在期待什么奇迹出现。 我想应该彻彻底底的消失在她的心吧，从此不会传简讯,，不会打电话，反正现在的她都嫌我烦，也不懂我心里的感受，我又不算她的什么， 久日之后也应该会忘了我吧。 现在也只有部落格伴我，反正她也不会知道我失落的感受，应该也不会在乎。 Emo at 6:18 PM Tuesday, January 15, 2013 黑中的心
 前天她说发烧, 使我一整晚都一直在想怎么给她惊喜，怎么让她早日康复。 因为发烧不懂要买什么, 决定买水果最安全, 最简单。于是放工了，从东边去到西边, 买了苹果给她。看到她灿烂的笑容, 烧好像真的退了。 就不知道为什么我的心把我带到她家附近。可能因为星期六的答案，我心里还有很多疑问。问了她无聊的人不能和无聊的人在一起吗? 她只是说不喜欢, 听了她的答复我就呆住了。 心中是带着最后的一丝丝希望, 以为真的能够改变她的心意。想说的话说不出, 在回家的途中发简讯给她。这是真正的得到她明确的答案了。现在没机会, 在未来也没希望, 心是狠狠的被刺痛。 ... ...我不会在相信爱情了。它每次只会带给我痛苦, 心酸酸。爱情这事是骗局来的，还想什么幸福快乐? 骗人!!! Emo at 8:07 AM Monday, January 14, 2013 心里的诱惑
 不知道几时喜欢她这么深, 才见面几次而已。明明就被她拒绝了,为什么我还是放不下。 心里有个不了解，性格相同就不能在一起吗? 无聊就不能跟着无聊吗? 不能为彼此改变吗? 原本是很想和她一起改变我们的生活, 到处环游。就算到游乐场迷路也无所谓，在路边失去方向也罢, 只要有彼此不就好了。 问题出在哪里? 是我的外表吗? 是因为我不是富有的人? 是我的人格吗? 还是简单来说, 对我一点感觉也没? 我不知道该如何继续, 请原谅我不知不觉深深的喜欢你, 虽然你可能对我一点感觉也没。我想我应该需要很长的时间对你的喜欢慢慢淡掉, 若是放弃不了你, 那只好让我默默的喜欢你。 Emo at 12:54 PM Sunday, January 13, 2013
心里的乌云 眼角的秘密 来不及燃烧的感情 被流言给吹熄 转身回到孤寂 生活的丛林 坚强的游戏 在白天掏空了勇气 在黑夜剩不平 不懂错在哪里 我不过是一个很想幸福的人 为什么遇不到会生根的缘分 学着戒掉悲观 负我的都不恨 让心灵完整 美丽动人 还是一个人 寂寞的当一个很想幸福的人 等待着一颗心接受我的坦诚 懂得爱甜蜜中有苦涩的成分 会和我争论 爱却不磨损 没有不信任 我相信 当一个很想幸福的人 也必须是能够让人幸福的人 我不怕去付出 也肯承担责任 温暖的诚恳 温柔的迷人 谁是那个人 能让我沸腾 想幸福的人 Emo at 11:21 AM Saturday, January 12, 2013 迷失的心，陷入爱情的坟墓
 失败失败失败！喜欢人的数字又加一，真正交往还是零。今天把心里的话通通说出来了。收回的答案就是 “我不喜欢你，还是觉得你很陌生”。最糟糕就是给了她的妈妈不好印象。第一次说出告白的真心话，就是这么痛！我们性格蛮像，真的是以为找到 “情人知己”。但... ...还不懂听到答案了要做什么反应。觉得真的迷失反向了，脑袋一片空白。果然没错，从小到大没有一次想做的事如我所愿。连爱情也不例外。 我只是想好好做个好男友，对心爱的人细心，体贴。今天却发生了这种事，我想... ...这就是我的命吧，每次都是一相情愿。我就是注定过孤单的生活了。听了她说了我的坏处之后，是想要感激她，也是想哭但还是得先忍住。今天就是确定失去了她，虽然不是我想听到的答案。我以为能够以我的诚恳感动了她，但还是没有。所谓 “有缘无分”。最后我们还是握个手告别。第一次握她的手是这么冷冰冰，也可惜我不是那个给她温暖的手。现在唯一剩下的回忆就是陪她一起在餐馆吃的单。  我是个宅男，自卑超高，外表长得比年龄还要大，又瘦，很会挑食，不怎么会说话，又很无聊无聊的宅男。今天发生了这种事，我已经变得冷漠，冷淡。我的心变黑得不能再黑，心也跟着紧紧的反锁。这种状况应该是无药可救。宅男就是我，我是不会出门，也不会去到这么远的地方。只会把我自己锁在家或家附近。请别喜欢我，因为过了今天，我只会带这无面笑容。觉得我在装酷，随你怎么想。也请别和我出门，因为我是个路痴，也会让你跟着我无聊。所以我想应该不会有女生喜欢。 心有很大的疤痕, 也死了。喜欢一个人但对方不喜欢你实在很累。反正我的时间跟着停止转动，人生目标也没了 。现在也不懂为谁努力。有工作不开心，存这么多钱也不开心，好想好想把我的人生做个结局。好笑吧，活到二十六岁连前女友也没。悲哀，真悲哀。 Emo at 11:56 PM Monday, January 7, 2013 无法传达的信息
 “可能到头来还是打动不了你的心。 谢谢你这两天里的见面和我分享你的人生，还请我去你家做客。 最奇妙的就是聊了聊，发现我们的性格有些共点。 可惜的事，我长得不够帅和太瘦了。 我承认我喜欢上你，我知道无论如何你还是会拒绝我。 但请让我真正的向你高白，因为从来没有和女生告白过， 我想知道那种感觉。我不想像以前的我没有告白， 每天活在生不如死的日子。 我很想像外面的每个男生，好好的爱护女友。 是真的很想给你幸福，很想和你一起做很多东西。 我以为你就是那个女生我一直在寻找。 可惜啊... ...虽然难过，无所谓也不是第一次。 或许我就是注定这一辈子过孤单的日子。 请你保重吧。谢谢你。” Emo at 6:27 AM Sunday, January 6, 2013
你，相信 “缘分” 吗？ 我，以前一直相信在遥远的一个地方有 “她” 在等我的出现。 你，相信 “一见钟情” 吗？ 我... ...想应该相信吧，刚发生在我心。 今年刚刚认识一个女孩，初次见面在 01/01/2013，特别吧？ 看到她，不知不觉为什么我的心跳加速。很久没有这种感觉了。 于是，我们聊了很多，发现各此的性格有些共同。 那晚，我一直在想，难道她是我一直在寻找的女孩吗？ 我以前错过机会，好后悔。现在的我，不想在后悔了。 我发现我已经渐渐的喜欢她 了。 我... ...好想像每个男人一样，对他们伴好，爱护她，珍惜她。 但，我好像有个 “魔” 在我心，每次都会有这些疑问： “你有资格交个女友吗？ 你觉得你配得上她吗？ 你的外表和她相配吗” 天啊，我该怎么除掉这只 “魔”？ 今天是我们的第二次见面，我迫不期待想见到她。 我... ...好想跟她告白，可是未免太快了吧。 担心会吓倒她，会圈入她的 “Friend zone”，我想说的话又要吭在心里。 想对她说好喜欢她，想照护她，想一直陪在她身边。 想要她当我的女友，不是因为扑上我那空荡的心。 我只是好害怕，害怕像以前那样，见到心上人已经有爱上她的人。 这种感觉比死还要痛，要为她开心又要心如刀割。 我和她住的距离也满远，我在东，她在西。但至少我们没有相隔一个国家。 现在又怕她会认为因为距离远，不能和我交往。 我该怎么办？拼了吗？ Emo at 9:10 AM Monday, March 26, 2012
"When a righteous person made a mistake, is he going to be marked down and condemned forever? ..." I'm totally lost....I really don't know how to carry on in the unit. Being righteous is what I always was, but I couldn't understand a point why some people make mistakes, they still can go scoot free? I got caught for making a mistake today, and acting brave in front of everyone is the only thing I can do. Yes, mistake had made, have to accept the consequences boldly as a man. I really find life meaningless in the unit now, when such things happened, the 2nd highest appointment in my unit start making noise, start nagging and start scolding. Yes, I'm already in the wrong and I have no say, but if I could, I really want to ask him this. "Touch everyone's hearts, when there's a search been done, who has the courage to own up they brought in illegal items?" I believe he know who are those who do illegal things in the unit, but why? How could they not get caught? And only the enlistees get caught? I'm totally disgusted with the things happened today. Right now, I really want to get out of this place, staying there I will only feel lost. Luckily I never do foolish things by signing on, that kind of place really horrid me. Emo at 7:00 PM |
Clement aka Clemie(Nickname) 17/07/1987 49kg < x <60kg 1.75m tall TP Grad NSF (currently) Big Slacker Happy-Go-Lucky guy PAP 1992->1993 Ngee Ann Primary 1994->1999 Chung Cheng High Branch 2000->2004 Simei ITE East College 2005->2006 Basketball Go out with friends School Camps Eat Sleep Play Slack Study a little All Jay Chou's Love Songs Chinese/English Love Songs Bleach D-Gray Man Inuyasha Buzzer Beat 仙剑奇侠传 放羊的星星 鬥牛 要不要 篮球火 溏心风暴 海派甜心 恶魔在身边 换换爱 Backstabbers Gossipers Hypocrites Attitude Problem People Irresponsible People G701 Team Cui I-Guide 2009 Xenon I-Guide 2008 Batman I-Guide 2007 Tarvos TPENG-Mentor Elmo BMT Mohawk Company 03/10 CBT Medic P005 36 SCE [Image]Ipod Touch(64GB) [Image]ATH-WM55 Audio-Technica headphone [Image]Nokia X6(32GB) New Acer Laptop New Acer Desktop [link]TP 4 ME! [link]ASHRAE [link]I-Guide [link]I-Guide Tarvos [link] TP-Elmo [link]G701 BlurBlurSotongs [link]G701 BlurBlurSotongs Photos [link]Temasek Polytechnic [link]Ole-BB [link]My Friendster [link]Alex [link]Welson [link]Nadiah [link]Zhi Yan [link]Yeong Yih [link]Terry [link]Amalina [link]Pauline [link]June [link]Huijun [link]Eelynn Sis [link]Audrey [link]Joey [link]Candy [link]Wen Cong [link]Wei Jie [link]Joel [link]Sandra [link]Nicolas [link]Xiaowei [link]Farhan [link]Duke [link]Caixing [link]Yi Chen [link] Pei Qi [link]Inez [link]Kay [link]Smallbuggy [link]Ryan
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