paris is a beautiful city. but it's too smokey. too much cigarette smoke. but there's also good food and drink. and i think we've only seen the nice side of the city. champs elysee, the louvre, arc de triumph, pantheon, eiffel tower, pompidou, notre dame, chateau de versaille, gau de nord, st michel, mouffetard, the tuileries, monmarte, rambuteau, moulin rouge. all the places are nice and historic and probably preserved by the government or some tourism agency. but i guess tourists will never know what the French feel about living in Paris, in France, under their own regimes. it probably takes more than a semester of exchange, getting to know the locals, experiencing the random strikes, protests and bad weather and subtleties of being french. of pronouncing 'R's as a very nasal "H'. and getting to love the metro and RER systems and the perks and privileges of following the bebes. the charms of paris lies in the historic monuments, the time-honored piles of stones, boulders and 'esmeraldas' that preserve the glorious past of France.

i guess it was rather disturbing that Paris was the first city that came to mind when i thought of France. For such a big country, i wonder what happened to the rest of France. Embodied by the Bordeaux and Burgundy which the rest of the world knows as wine or beef. or maebe that's just the picture of themselves that they want to paint to the rest of the world. or perhaps the rest of the world just cant be bothered enough to look beyond the vin and viandes.

off to munich and rome. time to move on to other cities. paris had been fun but like new york i guess its a little too overwhelming for my liking. the little messiness just grates on my nerves, not unlike that of tokyo. perhaps that's why i would never like the hustle and bustle of huge cities. the sheer number of people will get to me somehow. sometime.

im glad that the semester is over. no more crazy organic chemistry lab reports and incomprehensible hamiltonians and phenomena or tedious stat homeworks. despite all the harsh curves and crazy workload, im not sick of chemistry. i guess that's good but im not exactly eager to start the next part of physical chemistry. perhaps there should be more organic and organometallic classes but i guess we are required to have some grounding in all the traditional approaches. so while im not super excited about pchem2 and pchemlab, or biochem for that matter (all that intense memory work), i shall go with an open mind.

1 semester of wharton classes and i dont see how wharton students are in any way better than your average college kid, engineer or nurse. they sure are different, and that applies to each of the 4 undergrad schools but i cant see how all the extra resources and privileges that whartonites get are justified. the general sense i get is that whartonites are pompous, artificial and unscrupulous but i guess that can be applied to some people in the college too. thing i dont get is how wharton is rated as one of the top institutes in the world. and then there's that kind of cold, heartless financial analysis, which even puts a number on intangibles, which i find rather questionable. and a certain professor in a certain class seems to believe that the bottom line is what matters at the end of the day and i find it rather disagreeable, if not unsettling. then are inappropriate values at the core of the recent sub-prime crisis?

before i put down the school too much, i must say that ive enjoyed bpub, where we had some rather interesting discussions, less the AA comments of those who tried to impress but fell flat on their faces. but the way i see it, not many are in the class for the intellectual rigour or academic challenge. oh so-and-so is an easy grader and so-and-so gives out tons of A's. grades are paramount and they would do whatever it takes to get there, which undermine learning beyond a certain point. suffice to say, there are some classes where i think ive learnt alot but am not expecting a stellar grade. and they dare to compare a major to a concentration, which is only slightly more than the required work for half a minor. i decided to give wharton a shot as i felt that in a world where money reigns, it is important to have some form of financial grounding. but the more i see, the greater the disappointment.


i suppose in a setting where finance is the norm and everyone is fighting tooth and claw to get that coveted bulk-package offer, a lot of things get lost along the way. promises, goals, aspirations. how, in any way, would a position in any IB or consultancy solve any of society's problems? had there been more bpub, hcmg, envp and social impact concentrations, would we still be where we are today in terms of poverty and inequality? what happens to a world in which the supposedly very best shun the path of government and public service and keep their gifts to themselves? why did this come to be? the more i look at it, the more i feel that the all those noble causes are in vain if they do not affect profits in anyway. if eradicating homelessness in philadelphia reaped billions, the problem would then be identified as promising or full of potential. instead, it is left at a socially optimum level, where those who want to buy/rent shelter at a certain price can do so. those who do not want to? im sorry but u have to dig a hole in the blizzard and hope that the ice insulates u from the cold.

Everything just go away...

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/09/us/09muslim.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2&hpw

if this is partially the reason why certain ethnicities are not allowed into certain services of the armed forces, then along the same logic, we shld be worried abt other monotheistic faiths, albeit the much smaller probability.

i wish i could go home for a wkend. argh. its really like a year long book in. those nsfs have it easy.

waking up at 5 am in the morning feeling refreshed is the best thing that has happened this sem. tells a lot abt the semester doesnt it...

hate physical chemistry. HATE

time really flies. almost been 2 wks into sch and im still trying to equilibrate. i really enjoyed this summer break and i really dont want to leave everything behind and go face the grind again. sch=zombie. of course there are things to look forward to in sch but i leave behind a huge part of myself. a huge part that binds me over 10000 miles. if only 10000 miles can be traversed like going from one room to another...oh the many "if onlies" of life.

请让我靠近你轻轻对你说
别让我每个夜为你受折磨
是多么不容易才默默放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
别让我因为你被回忆折磨
而空气凝结了我们的脸孔 / 别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔
我别无选择

就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你
虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意

心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你
虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意
(心还想着你)

-------------------------

Realised that dining is a very subjective thing. no matter how well-prepared a dish is, it can be completely revolting to someone simply because it constituted a bad experience. and this may arise due to cultural / social biases or a personal experience that causes the diner to reject what he is eating. like how many people eating the same thing might have different reactions to it - some might like it, some might not. and perhaps this is why fine dining restaurants pay so much attention to detail, to ensure that the experience is more than a pleasant one. and oh the premium that they charge. just how far is one willing to go or how much is one willing to spend to savour that transient experience.

this year's NDP seemed to be tighter, with better transitions and a more personal feel to it. perhaps it is because i was away but when i watched the combined rehearsal and the actual parade, i was moved by some of the things that i saw and heard. i wasnt sure if it was the songs or the people or what but for once i was positively aware that i was proud to be singaporean. comparing what ive seen and heard to what is back here, singaporeans really have it good. sure, not everything is perfect but it's precisely because of such imperfection will we strive for change and improvement. only because we care about such things will we even bother. im amused by people who have keep yakking about migration cos i always wonder how much of it is a case of greener grass syndrome. first of all, to uproot and be planted is no trivial matter. the culture shock, system change and everything else doesnt become natural overnight. and to always complain that the government doesnt effect change...not that im pro-government or whatever it's just that i feel that massive change should be incremental and sometimes such increments are almost imperceptible. perhaps it's just me but i do feel that singapore has changed over the last 5-6 years but for better or worse, that remains to be seen.

and with that goes my first year @ Penn. i think im slipping into some kind of quarter life crisis. keep wondering what's the point of doing everything. so what if i graduate with a good degree from penn? so what if i am able to keep my bosses happy and rise quickly in the board? so what if i make good money? so what? i think if there is anything that our education system has failed in, it has failed to make us look beyond what lies beyond the set and established path. not tell us what that path is mind you, but remind us that there is life after uni. i mean, all our lives, we have been told to study hard, get into university and get a good job. the assumption here is that the job will pay well and there's no need to worry about basic needs and stuff ... so what comes after the job? Granted there's some sense in that mantra if people in the past needed to worry about their next meal but is that really enough? i still remember mr suah saying something to the extent of how boring our lives would be: Olevels, Alevels, Uni, work, get married n have kids and wait to die. i didnt think much of what he said at first but lately, this has been bugging me. ALOT. why must it be this way and why is the so called "natural" progression in life? im not ready for the great unknown that is life (i wonder how many people see it as life) after uni but i guess that's what sch is for now. it may be an excuse but it only expires in 3 years. so for this semester, i must learn to care less. and feel more.

back from bangkok. it was a nice to get away for a little while and just be consumed by another city. true the streets are slightly dirtier, the air is not as fresh but each soi and thanon just ooze such character and flavour that i wonder if we did not chase the hawkers off the streets and lumped them all in hawker centres, would we still be able to have itinerant hawkers lining the roads today?

i guess i also enjoyed the favourable exchange rate, considering the 50baht swensons and 169baht sizzler's that we nvr got ard trying. the glittering structures in the grand palace and wat phra keow with brief explanation of thailand's mythological history by san n nop. the hyperactive market that is chatuchak. various street foods, river/canal boat rides. the big room that we had, and the scams that started upon arrival at suvarnabhumi. the crazy tuktuk ride from MBK back to the hotel. the crazy jams and the high pitched nasal "kup"s. definitely can go again if visiting more wats and outside bangkok. shopping is highly overrated :)

now that im out of work, i guess i shld enjoy the last few moments that i have before it's back to the daily grind that is school....

ICT was a pleasant break from the drudgery that is sample preparation (read: SPE and HPLC/MS/UV ALL DAY LONG. darn those 2ml vials). when and where else can i get to see so many people at the same place and time, without putting in any effort to contact them? kudos to the SAF for that. :) that being said, it was a pretty mild session, almost like SGC Chalet if only there wasnt that much admin to settle the first time round. maybe next time might be better. dun regret volunteering for the first session but highly unlikely to be able to attend the next. hopefully i can still MR tgt and not have to fight 2 ATECs to replace that missed hi-key. damn.

now that it's over, it feels like im thrown back into the wild again. in there, you work the system, stick by the rules and you're gd to go. everything's strangely familiar, you dun even expect some ppl to deviate from their recalcitrant behaviour. back to real life, the boundaries are constantly changing and the rules are always evolving. there are just too many things to consider. like right now, i dont know what im studying so hard for. sure, i enjoy my chemistry but why do i have to slog it out on that curve? i suppose there's some satisfaction in beating the curve but lately ive been wondering why am i doing what im doing. is it too late now? i really cant imagine myself blending into that sophomoric, amorphous crowd that throngs Jurong East every morning, analysing water samples every day till im too old to take the train. there must be something out there that i want, but what?

i want to take refuge in the past, because it is comforting and familiar. i know exactly what will happen when. but that is impossible. and i find it increasingly difficult to forge ahead because i am already so weary, so sick and tired of patterns repeating themselves. what will it all culminate in and when? something that i am wandering towards aimlessly, hoping that it catches me before i fall of the precarious balance.

and so ive started my internship. spent my first 2 days preparing samples in the lab. was momentarily excited with all those high tech equipment and particularly amused by the Buchi rotovaps. but it soon wore off after awhile. do i really want to do this for 6 years? hmmm. then i thot that i'd want to be a mad scientist, so that i can meet the superhero who comes and stop me. :p

yes, it's that time of the year again. somehow, this year, i really feel older. strangely. especially when i see school uniforms, even NS uniforms (yes, even the new ugly ones. bleah). that being said, met up with alot of people over last wkend till today. for once it felt good to hear and see everyone getting along great, graduating, interning, entering the workforce. then it struck me suddenly that im on track to the end of my life. think about it, you stay in school for 1/4 of your life and then you enter the workforce and work till you die. ok, say you get married and have kids along the way. it's really the end of life as we know it. work, pay the bills, work some more, take a break, die. seems like life is going to be reduced to just that, mundane...torturous even. and if work is not exactly fulfilling, wont it be even worse? seems like i have a very bleak outlook on what's left of life...

i went to the western end of the island today. passing by Kranji reminded me of booking into camp with jianan, eric and wx. going to JP reminded me of the many nights out from AISL to 42. it was also mindboggling how much it had changed in a short period of 8 mths, together with many other places like Bugis, Northpoint, Orchard, even Yew Tee. next time i shld visit the east. heard that there's a 3rd mall in tampines. oh the significance of malls to singaporeans.

and then i was thinking of the usual nights out stuff we'd do: 1) eat fast food 2) get bubble tea 3) go to one of the games arcade 4) visit NTUC to restock 5) head back to camp. all the other work during the day can be simply reduced into 2 forms: PT and saigang. life was ok; it was simple. you could almost say like clockwork, routine. and as i think of all these new developments, i somehow felt shortchanged. but then again, if all these stuff were available back then, somehow i think it wouldnt have changed things very much. this business of reconciling the past and present is getting to me and yet i still clamour for more. just what is it about this thing called nostalgia? or is there something worth reliving, or is there just some regret that im consciously unaware of? regardless, it is this act of looking back and wondering of what things have become/could have been, in hindsight no less. such a wonderfully helpless feeling. every time i go to a place and images just invade my mind. and u know that there is no way to go but forward.

and then we drove out of the new jp, past ntu, right onto the emergency runway outside LCK Camp and tengah airbase. i was reminded of the time wx and i took a cab from home to report to SGC for the first time and the many times i took the bus on that route. Strangely, there was no stench of chicken detritus. We went all the way past SAF Armour Centre, turned into neo tiew road, got onto kranji dam and out of the wilderness that remains in Singapore. and i was not in the usual attire of collared tee with jeans and shoes, backpack full of laundry.

i dont think i want to deal with much more of such moving on. but then, time just leaves me behind as everyone else just forges ahead. and this is life as i know it. Life's a bitch, deal with it.

It's a Monday. But there's no school and i spent my first 2 waking hours making zhap chye and radish soup with pork rib. supposed to be for lunch but i guess dinner wont be too bad since there's just so much. it's such a lazy Sunday feeling, except that there's no sun, only rain. bummer. i feel like ive been forgotten, left behind in a little corner, but i know that's not true, im just idling around while everyone else is engaged in meaningful, productive activities.

need to go exercise to unload that dreadful freshman 15. and then there's tuition later for chemistry. am not totally keen on doing this but im seeing this more as a favor than anything. only hope that i can still answer tutee's qns and not be too stumped or stunned with what she has to do. like, who knows what new methods schools have come up with to torment students in the few years that i have left the system rite? i prescribe a certain amount of rote learning, which has been severely underrated since the advent of creative and critical thinking and other such fancy schmanzy. understanding is one thing BUT to beat the severe time constraints of exams, nothing's like constant drilling and the power of human memory. the chinese and indians are not good at math and science for nothing. guess that's why i didnt score As in my organic chem both semesters. haiz. game the system...that's the singaporean game.

8 mths away from Singapore, I couldnt help but wonder what has changed since i left. True enough, most of the things that were here are still here but many small, almost imperceptible changes took place. within those big malls, little shops have sprung up or vanished. stalls changed hands at the neighbourhood kopitiams and life still goes on, like the previous vendors were never there. so what is it that im looking for by revisiting those familiar places, only to be filled with sore disappointment? the past that can never be re-lived. and the 8 mths worth of stories in people's lives that simply cannot be retold over a meal or two.

and so i return, to find that every one has moved on with their lives, filling out their own niche, while im socially dislocated, escaping from the harshness that is philly. it's like im torn out of one movie and transplanted into another. as everyone forges ahead, i intrude, trying to find something that's buried deep.

and as i lay under the trees under the noon sun, i remembered the exact same feeling that last year. Sunlight parted the crowns of the 2 trees, their leaves twinkling in all shades of green as the wind weaved through the branches. i cupped my hands on my forehead and tried to enjoy that moment of tranquility when raindrops tumbled from the sky beyond the 2 patches of green. perhaps next year the trees would have given way to some spanking new blocks of condo that would provide shade for that part of the stadium eternally.

With the end of Spring 09, my freshman year came to a close. it was rather different from Fall 09 firstly becos of winter and spring. i got to see locust turn from dull and bald to bright green under the sun, which appears more frequently over spring and for a longer period. Then there were the people who fit more closely with my definition of classmates, in econ and math and ealc and by extension, the hill ppl. they made studying so much more bearable and their crazy (or should i say annoying) antics together with all the various accents made being international seem kinda cool. singlish IS the way to go.

School would not be complete without classes would it. enjoyed most of my classes this last semester with the EXCEPTION of MATH240. never take that class if there is no need to. either be prepared to memorise and drill yourself or die trying. perhaps i didnt work hard enough for that class but no excuses when it affects good old orgo. blah! come to think of it, i wonder how the others did in that class. oh dear...

then there are the singaporeans. Sing City was a very enjoyable experience, despite the insane hours that we worked. the big and small events here and there, all those birthday things. and the many nights of mahjong and gossiping and random days of cooking. HAHA. these must be enough to make a memorable spring. unfortunately, a bunch of the juniors/seniors are graduating so next semester will be different without them. but then we should not forget the incoming freshmen, whose attendance we are still unsure of up till now. seems set for a great new year.


in the meantime, it's back to the sunny island of singapore.

finals suck. period

So freshman year is almost ending. It doesnt seem so long ago that i first saw the lights on campus, the cab pulling up outside Hamco and all of us surviving the harrowing flight from sg. Then all that crazy shopping at BBB and Ikea and the administrative hassle of forming "families" to sign up for phone plans. Then ISO and NSO, running to the river and wham, classes started proper. Met many new people (i emphasize, met and met only) took some interesting seminars, did not get much involved in ccas during the first sem. after having been always busy before in school, it was kind of like a total rejection, a protection mechanism kicking in. even then, much of first sem was spent studying into the morning, mostly for the 2 seminars that i got myself in...whoever said that Uni would be a breeze certainly lied. and the random weekly cookouts, restaurants and venturing into NYC and Boston.

Then there was the descent into winter, the cold and the gloom and the shortening days. and just like that term ended. winter break was very enjoyable. i quote, "doing nothing is highly underrated." plus i got to roam sanfran and the surrounding big schs for a bit. plus vin and bran came over to stay and becos of that i got to see more of philly instead of just uni city. this break was shortlived but a good one. and with its end, i lost my excuse of needing time to settle into a new environment. cant say anymore that im not being involved with cocurriculars becos im trying to find my place in philly, or im trying to explore more places in philly. seriously, there's only so many places we go to and it's probably good to see what else the sch has to offer.

So i got involved with the food mag, the ewb chapter and started going for PUCS stuffs. not to forget sing city 2. it helped that i only took on 1 seminar this sem but then again there's the bane that's math 240 :( nonetheless, it felt like a surprisingly short time before spring break when london came and di, kai, kel, wm and annabel were all there :) and this transited hard into a series of midterms and tests that spiralled out of control, with SingCity immediately after. Post-production euphoria, and all those songs and all those moments, bits and pieces captured in shots here and there, everyone everywhere. it was probably one of the most enjoyable moments so far. and it begs the question why.

10000 miles away from home, i find solace in a group representing home, away from home. perhaps i would have been better off at home or perhaps this is what i truly want to do. to do something, do it well, do it good and enjoy it, there's belief and passion. all those things that others do, just to make that piece of paper called a resume look good...would fall flatter than the paper if the work is torturous and unejoyable. ideally, each item on mine would be something that is filled with wonderful memories, not something that demonstrates A B C. to hell with what you want to see. it's for my viewing pleasure. i may not have much but each means alot.

so what have i really been learning in college? does learning capitalist economics help me better understand the capitalist world? yes. about eradicating poverty and the rest of the non-capitalist world? no. does reading about women's struggles and emerging homosexual communities change my world view? yes. about where such struggles lead to? i dont know. whether all the reactions that ive learnt are all that i need. yes and no. and therein lies the difficulty, to remain objective yet not ambivalent. and to know what i still want to do and maebe try doing. it's utterly mind boggling and despairing to know that only so few of the privileged take a step out against this capitalist system which slowly gnaws away at our very core. seeing some actions and reading the intentions, it's not exactly the most inspiring moments. in fact, i despise it.

im writing all these down as it comes, because this is the only way to remember, 30 years down. to remember how i felt at this point in life, looking back at what happened before, a chance for me to meet myself. i enjoyed today, dinner, bantering, chilling on the couch. heartfelt moments that are increasingly rare in a world full of wannabes.

is this accurate? ...

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

is it true that all such tests are designed to have positive stuff in it to make the testee feel at least not bad about himself? i wonder...

and so Sing City 2 was over, kinda like a dream. no more rushing from classes to rehearsals and madly trying to clear HW in between scenes. no more walking in the cold to Fisher Bennett Hall for rehearsals in venues that we did not book. and no more junk food from C3 and greasy chinese food from beijing. that feeling of being harassed but still dying for more, handing in shoddy work to finally find out what we are truly made of.

i guess anything of value that emerged from the entire fiasco with the house dean was that Sing City 2 told a true story, one that offers slices of Singaporean life at Penn. From the times of NS, to the times of being a blur freshman through a graduating senior. One could say that it's the universality of uncertainty, of reasons, passion and ambition, of adventure, of culture, hope and love, of friendship, of being uniquely singaporean at penn that belie whatever singlish, music and dancing that really got across. whatever it is, we are proud of it enough to share it with the world. and that is perhaps why it turned out to be such a success (not blowing our own trumpet here cos like all live shows, murphy loomed over the RTL), because we believed in every bit of it.

it's almost like a dream now that it's over and we cannot stop singing this tune or saying that line. as time goes by, when all of us have left this place, what will be the melody that will continue playing?

something that i've been looking for since so long ago, i cant remember. yet this feels strangely different yet familiar.

Spring has crept up on me, as in the season, not what the calendar defines as spring break. indeed, it's getting warmer, the sch has transplanted lots of those yellow bulbs onto the compounds and even some trees have budded but something still feels weird about this phenomenon called spring. perhaps it's just not what i expected it to be. hopefully the season gets better...or maebe im just a summer person.

London has been great thus far, but i didnt have time to visit Cambridge and the Stonehenge (it's not just a pile of stones!!!). guess i'll have to do that another time. oh wells. cant believe that spring break is ending so soon and i havent got ANY work done, not even the lines for sing city. bleah.

So it turned out that after having prawns for dinner just now and then going to the gym, i broke out in urticaria again, much like one night in NS when the same thing occurred after having prawns for dinner and then going for a jog around camp. i think something similar happened when i was in sanfran, after having prawns for dimsum and then walking back to the hotel but i was not feeling too good then. mmm. a little research on the internet seems to point toward FOOD-DEPENDENT EXERCISE-INDUCED
ANAPHYLAXIS (FDEIA).

So it seems that exericse and eating prawns are independently tolerated but not eating prawns then exercise. that makes sense, since ive not remembered being allergic to prawns at other times. it would have been a most miserable fate if i had suddenly developed an allergy to eating prawns alone, considering how many percent of the word "seafood" is defined by prawns or for that matter, crustaceans. :( together with a 22 year-old female athlete in SAfrica (hers was sesame seed but exercise is her way of life; suffice to say she got it when undergoing training after ingesting sesame coated BREAD) and a 61 year-old Japanese man (his is wheat noodles...think soba, or one of the many varieties of ramen/udon/somen...despairing thoughts), i think i now have this weird condition where exercise actually INCREASES the body's absorption of allergens from the gut...

mmm shld i be worried?? of course not! According to the Current Allergy & Clinical Immunology, November 2007 Vol 20, No. 4 (http://www.allergysa.org/journals/2007/nov/Food-dependent%20exerciseinduced%20anaphylaxis%20associated%20with%20sesame%20seed%20ingestion.pdf) "A diagnosis of FDEIA facilitates the safe independent return to exercise and reintroduction of foods for patients who otherwise may unnecessarily avoid exercise and/or restrict their diet." BUT, urticaria CAN be life threatening when such swelling occurs in the throat, tongue and lungs, causing the airways to be obstructed, much like how tumors or anaphylactic shock kill people... who said more exercise is definitely better anw? now it seems that there is just ONE more barrier (to the numerous excuses that i already have) for not exercising. yay. perhaps heaven is giving me a sign - Thou shalt not exercise. :D

suddenly feels like a brief respite in the semester. but i should know better. this is probably the eye of the storm: first rd of midterms just ended and there seems to be this unholy gap before the next round. throw in our favourite procrastination and what u get is the day the earth stood still...

feel the urge to cook something, but am seriously lacking in ingredients. when in the states, u cant even get pandan leaves :(

it's pretty disturbing to know that when an email is sent out about the latest internship opportunities at those big banks and financial institutions on he singaporean listserv, there is a certain amount of hype that is generated. On the other hand, the email from contact singapore regarding the Public sector careers fair in New York and UMich received no interest whatsoever. i wonder if anyone even thought about it at all. but i suppose when u hear abt the 10k/mth job offers to our graduating seniors, it is not very hard to see why there are people who break bonds.


this sem has been much better. or maebe the real stuff hasnt come yet. despite 9 hr labs, it still doesnt feel as bad as when i had 2 seminar classes with TONS of readings. i think im getting too slack with sch. shall find more time for my extra-curricular activities. :)

Am now in San Francisco. It is a pleasant city, not as grimy as Philly or as overwhelming as NYC. Cant compare to Boston much since i didnt go to many places there but i guess these 2 are my favourite cities on the East and West Coasts respectively so far :) people have stopped multiple times to give us directions without us asking for any. must have had looked like lost tourist with camera and map in hand. :D and it's not as cold as the East, which has really bad temperatures by now :(

Stanford was really BEAUTIFUL! especially the church that they have inside. The campus is too big to walk about however, since like all the students travelled around in bikes. haha and it's really huuuge. cant picture how i can bike around campus now that im more or less used to walking around Penn.

3-4 more days in San Francisco. Dont think i will have finished exploring the whole city in that short amount of time (didnt even manage to explore the whole of philly depsite staying for most of winter break) but i guess that can be left to another time.

and so 2008 came and went. we stood on Penn's Landing watching the fireworks illuminate the Delaware river and overshadowing Jersey's lights. the freezing air didnt seem to bother each burst like it did the frozen river. each exuberant blossom of every imaginable colour shot into the sky fizzling into golden drizzles that landed softly on our heads. it was almost as good as HK disney's but i must say that Disney's was kinda better simply because of the whole feel-good theme of the park. New Year's more like "YAY: It's the New Year, Let's Celebrate". and all the hopes and resolutions for the new year are encapsulated in each imploding brilliance, temporarily dispelling the economic crisis, the dying earth and threats of terror. and there we see each year this thing called hope, that tomorrow will be a better day.