dflksajfaslkfj

fl;ksadjfslkafjd;

fsdklfjadsf;klsjfsdaflk

sdkl;jfsdakfljsdfaskl

sd;lkfsdj;akj


dear Blog readers,

i am here to write my last wishes..
as you all know.. Monday.. the O lvl results are going to be released..
if in any event that you find my lifeless body in Bedok south secondary school foyer.. or in any event that i was pronounced dead in the hospital.
please please give me a proper burial.
with grand trumpets and all..
remember i want a pink coffin and some pink flowers..
a pink tombstone would make me even happier..
please come and visit me
i will look down from heaven and smile upon you =)

to my family and friends.
you know i love you

yours sincerely,
Clarence.




wahahhaahah in case huh!. =0 lol

time wasted cannot be brought back.
memories forgotten cannot be reminisced


i remember i used to sit in the school canteen..with my this group of friends..

i remember the times.. when we were anticipating for recess to come..
rushing to the canteen.. even before the bell rung was what we did..(i remember this time when some of my friends pon the period before recess to have a longer recess and i was laughing it like it was a stupid idea..few days later.. i was apparently doing the same..)

the tables we sat in the canteen were our usual hangouts..
i still remember the windy spot and the bright sunlight always focusing on that particular row of table and there was a good view of the Hod room and the staff room..

i remember those times in the canteen
we used to play Open numbers to clear our plates..
we made a great deal of racket on who to clear the plates after we ate everything..

i remember myself with zhenwei.. always staying back after recess in the canteen.. (apparently i wanted to do some stupid thing..) and its always physics that we were late for.. seeing mr low pouting and questioning us made me giggle quite a few times..

i remember those times.. after school we used to gather together and decide where to go..
that caused alot of displeasure as we were often indecisive.. especially the girls..

i remember those times.. kirby, chee hui, peiliang and me. commenting on each and every girl that walked by or was sitting at the canteen..

i remember those times we used to wait for each other after our remedials as we were from different classes..

i remember our so called headquaters.. LJS.
i remember those times.. not getting sian-ed of LJS as we were eating it everyday..

i remember the time.. we went to jiawen's house..
we sure had fun there..we played and studied there... talked and made a hell of a noise..

i remember those times.. i waited for kirby for his art to finish, for peiliang and the guys in 4a.
for mabel and girls, for shiying, jiawen and amanda.

i remember those frustrating times i had bio and they had nothing on..

i remember bendy,sebas,qinwei,syed,suhail,timothy

i remember my attitude problem.the shouts in class.. the defiant nature. the didnt want to do homework attitude. the complaints. those times me and syed disrupted the class like it was nobody's business.

i remember those jokes..
i remember the drink stall auntie that me and my friends used to disturb..

i remember the tables,
i remember the period i was devoted to christ and was blabbering stuff..

i remember those time spent at town. even during the exam periods..
we used to meet up for movies,study,towning..

i remember those time.. where our whole group walked out of school to go parkway,mcdonalds and most importantly LJS, we frequented tampines for some time.

i remember those bus trips. we used to sit together and talk. play. make fun of people in the bus..

i remember stealing a number 14 bus plate and its still in my house..

i remember the time where we went to town on bus 14. we didnt even mind the long trip as we were together..

i remember the bond. the love. the unity.

i remember the fights between the guys. i remember the troubles we used to solve for each other... i remember the insensitve nature of the guys and the girls.

i remember we walked around the school. apparently i was up to a stupid thing again..

i remember those times i used to sleep in class.. oblivious of my surroundings only to wake up when the bell rings.. the teacher also didnt care..

i remember waiting at tanah merah bus stop as we were not allowed to wait outside our school busstop before scchool.. those times we met in school.
i remember rushing to school.
i remember those times we hung around the bus stop waiting for thhat darn long freaking 14 to come and take us home. i remember those times.

i remember we always decided where to go on msn.. last minute. i remember the 3.30s and 4.00s meeting time but we were always half an hour late.. this and that..
i remember the control stations and the mcdonalds we use to meet at..

i remember meeting people at 4.00 but 3.59 they were still at home... on the msn..i was obviously one of them.. i remember peiliang waited one hour for us and he was darn angry..
laughable it was..

i remember my pink umbrella i love so much.. i flaunted it.
i remember my pink bags and my fetish for pink.
i remember...

i remember the times..we went och-ing.. second home it was so true..
we went in and out so often i bet the ghosts there also familiar with us..
the commando camp..
argh.. those times we so spooked out..
shiying leading the way.. and me always wanting to stand in front..
i remember the times.. we had laughter and we had pain.

i remember the conferences, the times we talked on the fone. together..
we played pranks with april on kirk, chyepeng..
we went out till late night and cabbed back home..
even when we were penniless we would find the way to take a cab back home..

i remember i remember..

is it gone like the dead leaves..

chye peng.. where the FUCK ARE you..


2 years of togetherness just passed like that..
friends come and go.. where are those times we spent together..
are new friends really good enough to replace the old..

i miss my old old old fuckers.!

im gonna type a story in my blog..

STORY


whahahaa....


how bout a banana?


BANANA



apple?


APPLE





tralala...






hmm.. i guess i need to find some time to link up all my friends in my blogs... havent been linking friends and all. simply lazy..




argh...


please dont comment on my life anymore.. especially prior to the things i blog.
if its encouragement i dont mind..
but if you dont know wad im going through right now..
then just fark it.


i dont feel free to blog sometimes.. i want to say what i really feel.. but i know its gonna make you unhappy... stressed..
hiding my cries just to see you smile..

it hurts..






ahem..


anyway.. joalin is turning into an exam freak..

symptoms -

Blog has alot of exam stuffs.
Kaopei
msn onli discuss exam papers..
smses contents about exams
kaopei.
and more kaopei


wahaha.. relax la Joalin.. its not like being top in class is everything..




to shiying : you are one big fat. aedes mosquito! whahaa..















i guess being in too deep is not a good thing.

like shooting stars that fall from the sky..
i've fallen for you..

like the raindrops of a heavy downpour falls..
i've fallen for you..

like the rainbow that decends after storms..
i've fallen for you..

like the sun sets into the evening horizon..
i've fallen for you..







like a lost cub looking frantically for its mother..
i yearn for you..

like a child craving for sweets and lollipops..
i yearn for you..

like flowers needing water.
i yearn for you..

like puppies wanting an owner..
i yearn for you..








i hide my cries just to see you smile.
i lie to myself just to make you see the truth..
i hate myself,my pride.. just to love you more..
i abandon my flaws.. just to make you see perfection..
i change..
just because i love you..

sometimes its pain in the neck to think of blog headings..

Guess wad... My blog's music changes everytime you refresh my blog..
i've stole 24 songs from some guys webbie and used it...

and that gives you one more excuse to stay in my blog longer....the music!



can i just go to bed.. sleep and escape from this nightmare..

it hurts..

just because of him.. you can just flare up at me..
im special and all.. wow? am i?
make me feel it..

i love you.. i admit.. yes i do..
all those lies i made to myself..im just having a fling...
bullshit..





maybe.. just maybe.. i should go back to the ways i was before... way back then..
be my real self..
attitude problems.. no dealing with it.. i just hope to flare up with anyone i like..
hate me.. go ahead.. i dun even like myself..

but i know.. and i wont.. i know my limits.. i would change.. just for you...
just with the simple three words..

i love you..

im willing to change..fer you..

its alright.. if no one is willing to change for me..

i dont mind giving in.. i dont mind bearing your attitude pangs.
i dont mind seeing you being unreasonable to me..
i dont mind you because of someone else... we start a fight..

purely..
truely..


i love you..


all i hope for.. is that there will not be this one day..
which you come up to me and you tell me..

im just infatuated with you..








like shooting stars that fall from the sky..
i've fallen for you..







































argh.. it might be a tinge too mushy..
readers please ignore me..

I've noticed that a depressed someone keeps posting sad posts on my BLog..
His Name was CLareNCE!

Well Today! ..
its Gonna changE...

i've employed a new caretaker to take care of my blog anyway..
So he keeps everything happy and cheery..
No more sad posts.. (they will all be sweeped under a private compartment)

his Name is clarence..

ain't i Lame..
whahahahaahahahaha... (i haven't been doing that for awhile)


been working the past few days
plus the additional "hike" from suntec to orchard Cineleisure..(afterwork!)
almost tortured my poor feeble legs to Mourn out for Mercy..

ahem!


gah!


work was fun too.. i got to see taufik batisah and Olinda cho during my duration of work the past two days..
have the sudden urge to ask for their signature.. (if i want to be sacked and get slaughtered by the management)
hahaha..



back to what i originally wanted to post..


I simply detest people whu treat their blogs as an advertising medium for themselves..
disgusting..
they pretend that they are doing alot and then dont even blog about their depressive moments.
from my point of view.. a blog should be somewhere you confide problems in or even sometimes share some of your innermost thoughts..
sure.. a blog can be about everyday going ons..
but dont you think if i have a blog which shows the positve and happy "imaginary" side of me a tact too unrealistic..


i mean we are all human.. who doesnt have problems..
i have my own shit to clear you have yours..

wad you mean? your shit is clean and all so nice smelling and perfumated and others are foul disgusting wastes?
who you trying to kidd? get back to reality can?

so for the above few paragraphs about the sad posts.. its gonna stay as long as im unhappy...
and there is not a darn thing you can do about it..

oh and some of you are gonna say.. "blog something happier la be opptimistic"

like wtf?

being Optimistic is somewhat practising hypocracy?

reality is somewhat you have to get back into.. its the dreading monster you cant escape from..

having a blog which depicts only the side you want people to see is super stupid..

its like farting and admiting your not the one who farted..

utterly stupid..









anyway.. happy posts are nice.. =)
who doesnt want life to be happy and trouble free..
i also want that kinda life..

but where to find?

coldplay - The scientist

Come up to meet ya,
tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you,
tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets,
and nurse me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles,
chasing tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy






i know that i have an attitude problem..
i cant say i will change..
but fer you and you onli i would..



you have become my world.. without me myself knowing..
i find ways to kid myself that i am not falling deeper with you..


but the fact is that i love you..

you dont want people to know about us..
yes althought i feel abit weird and dissapointed and all..
im still hhappy with the way you want it to be..

im happy as long as you are...

fairytales..

i can very much say that im in one now..

when is it going to turn into a nightmare i cannot say..

i want to end it with a "happily ever after"

is that possible? =)


woke up at around 2 and was called to go out.. went Lan gaming with Junheng and nicholas
had fun!

then went to 85 market to have dinner...

and went back to lan game again..

darn boring day.. except for the time i spent with you alone..
it was like argh. i didnt want to go..



i just want to give you my best... make you happy.
but im afraid if it so happens its an infatuation and the feeling fades..
telling me would be a guilt thing then.. and i dont want it to happen..


ahem.. guess i was really blunt at 85 just now..
please dont quarrel.. i was onli kidding. sorry cause it was my fault.. i was blunt..
perhaps i should keep my mouth shut..




fairytales are meant to be everlasting..
is mine?

are birds cooped up in a cage happier then birds in the wild?



can i just have the best of both worlds?


do you know how it feels to yearn for something that is already yours but you cant have it?

watched constantine today..
was kinda convicted though..
dun wanna go to hell
bwahhahahahaha..

madness.. kirby was sitting beside me..
he was like.. shit shit shit and amazed all the way..
bet he was abit afraid too..

edmund was totally engrossed in the movie.. turned to my side and saw him gawking at the screen.

i dunno what the rest was doing..

ahem* anyways.. after the movie me kirk and edmund went to NTUC and then to starbucks while the rest went to Pp..

missed the number 3 and was Pissed even more..
took a lonely bus journey thinking bout lotsa stuff..

the bus journey was damn long.. although its like from tamp to Pasir ris..
but guess its not a bad thing after all.. at least i took sometime for self relfection...

my attitude problem is surfacing again..

how does it feel when you have to understand other people without having people understanding you?


sometimes i just want to stay at home and waste my life away..
sleep, eat, watch tv..

argh... whats with me?!










bottled up..

Linkin park - Breaking the habit




I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

I'll paint it on the walls'
Cause i'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends




i love you..

Lil' Jon (feat. Usher and Ludacris) - Lovers and Friends

Intro - Lil' Jon
Usher...
Lil' Jon...
Ludacris...

Usher (with Lil' Jon):
Yeah, man
Once again, it's on {It's on}
You know we had to do it again, right? (we had to do it again boy)

Lil' Jon:
We had to do it again, boy
Want you to sing to these ladies, man

Usher (with vocalizing)
(Ohh-oh-oh-ohh)
A'ight, so I'm up first? A'ight, lemme have it...
(Ohh-oh-oh-ohh)
Let's do it...


1st Verse - Usher ( lil jon lovers and friends lyrics):
Baby, how ya doin'?
Hope that 'cha fine, wanna know what you got in mind,
And I'm,
Got me fiendin' like Jodeci, girl, I can't leave you alone,
Take a shot of this here Petrone' and it's gon' be on,
V.I.P. done got way too crowded,
I'm about to end up callin' it a night,she said
You should holla at 'cha girl, tell her you're shakin the scene,
Pull off, beep-beep, shotgun in the GT with me
She said, "Ohhh-ohhh, I'm ready to ride,I was like yeah,"
"'Cause once you get inside, you can't change your mind,"
"Don't mean to sound impatient, but you gotta promise, baby, ohh..."


Chorus - Usher ( Lil Jon Lovers and Friends Lyrics ):
Tell me again (Tell me again, my baby),
That we'll be Lovers and Friends (Ohh, I gotta know, baby, aw yeah)
Tell me again (Make sho' you right, ohh, before oh before we leave),
That we'll be Lovers and Friends (Ohh, oh it's a good look, baby)...

2nd Verse - Ludacris:
Sometime wanna be your lover,
Sometime wanna be your friend,
Sometime wanna hug ya,
Hold hands, slow-dance while the record spins,
Opened up your heart 'cause you said I made you feel so comfortable,
Used to play back then, now you all grown-up like Rudy Huxtable,
I could be your bud, you could beat me up,
Play-fight in the dark, then we both make up,
I'd do anything just to feel your butt,
Why you got me so messed up?
I don't know, but you gotta stop trippin',
Be a good girl now, turn around, and get these whippings,
You know you like it like that,
You don't have to fight back,
Here's a pillow - bite...that,
And I'll be settin' seperate plays,
So on all these separate days,
Your legs can go they separate...ways...

Chorus - Usher ( Lil Jon Lovers and Friends Lyrics ):
Tell me again (Tell me again, my baby),
That we'll be Lovers and Friends (Ohh, it's a good look, baby aw yeah)
Tell me again (Tell me over-and-over-and-over again),
That we'll be Lovers and Friends (Make sho' you right, before you choose)...

3rd Verse - Lil' Jon:
I's been knowin you fo' a long time (shawty),
But fuckin' never crossed my mind (shawty),
But tonight, I seen sumthin' in ya (shawty),
That made me wanna get wit 'cha (shawty),
But you ain't been nuttin' but a friend to me (shawty),
And a nigga never ever dreamed to be (shawty),
Up in here, kissin', huggin', squeezin', touchin' (shawty),
Up in the bathtub, rub-a-dubbin' (shawty),
Are you sure you wanna go this route? (shawty),
Let a nigga know before I pull it out (shawty),
I would never ever cross the line (shawty),
Shawty, let me hear you tell me one mo time.....one mo time

Chorus - Usher ( Lil Jon Lovers and Friends Lyrics ):
Tell me again (Tell me again, my baby),
That we'll be Lovers and Friends (Ohh, it's a good look, baby)
Tell me again (Make sho' you right, ohh, before we leave),
That we'll be Lovers and Friends (Tell me over-and-over-and-over again)...

Outro - Usher ( Lil Jon Lovers and Friends Lyrics ):
Oh-oh-hoo
Oh-oh-hoo
Oh-oh-hoo-ohhhh-yeaaah...

Ludacris (with Lil' Jon):
Please tell your Lovers and Friends,
That Usher, Jon, and Luda had to do it again {Hey!! (Hey!!)}
Please tell your Lovers and Friends,
That Usher, Jon, and Luda had to do it again, that's right {Hey!! (Hey!!)}
Please tell your Lovers and Friends,
That Usher, Jon, and Luda had to do it again {Hey!! (Hey!!)}.

shallupdatelater.. snoozingtime.. tired... meanwhile do check out this song..

i can say im very much contented now.. being with you and all..
but there is still very much a little wee bit of void space.. that weird little corner of my heart..
telling me something i do not want to hear.. and its whispering it into my mind from time to time..



Usher - Burn

i don't understand why
See it's burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don't mean I want to
What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else

I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me thatI need to move on ,
on the other side I wanna break down and cry
oooooo I'm twisted cuz oneside of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
on the other side I wanna break down and cry
Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Oo Oo Ooo
you feel me burnin'Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Oo



sobs..


updatelatermeetinglollipops wahhaahahah =x

im in LO..
VE is not yet defined..

hmm.. sometimes.. perhaps.. doubting irritates..
sometimes. i even feel that im not good enough for you..

am i crapped up? i am..

i feel that im far worst than anyone can be..

im the villain..
im the dr.evil in austin powers
im the dr. octopus in spiderman 2



fsda;lkfsdja;lsdkasdj;fladksfjasd;lkasdjf;lasdkfjasdl;kfajsf;klfjasf;klasjfljkasl;kfasdj


fairytales? im in one?
i hope i am...

cinderella?
snow white?


























losing you or having you change your attitude towards me has been becoming more of a fear..
making you happy,estatic,satisfied... has already become my priority..









Arh arh.. Kuay kuay.. arh arh..

BLAh! blah! tear your voucher ar...

whats the use of having a blog if you dont update?

shrieks~~ Kirby Ng.. Update leh.. (he is presently sitting beside me looking at my Collections of Vcds)

i'm totally confused now..
Im hearing totally different stories from different sides..
I dont know who to trust..

you asked me to be honest with you with matters..
but i really dont want to pressure you and all..

something inside me tells me you are having a fling..
something else tells me you are serious..

I dont wanna be the next j..
My fears..


something inside me tells me to fall deeper with you..
something inside tells me to take it easy...

i know the ending will be a bad one..
But i choose to decieve myself..


fairytales aren't meant for me..


i'm the villian remember?
nver will a Villian have a happy ending..





can i really be certain that you are serious this time..

can this infatuation turn into something greater..

















































can someone toss the fucking rope
get me out of this hole...



Jojo - Baby it's you

You aint got to buy nothing, its not what i want baby its you
We dont got to go no where, its not what i want baby its you
Its not for what you got, cause know you got a alot, no matter what you do, your always getting hot, its you, its you baby all i want is you yeah.


Ryan Cabrera - True

you might think
I don't look
but deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you
mmmm
I'm weak
it's true
cause I'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
cause my heart keeps falling faster

natasha bedingfield - These words

These words are my own
From my heart flow I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way To better say I love you, I love you



Knnbpcb-ing confused now..















i could go on forever..

but too much crap isn't good.

YaWns...

waiting for her to come online thus decided to blog. (dunno she will come online one or not.. its already getting late ahem.. just try my luck)

ahem..
anyways..

i was walking past this stack of nian gaos and guess wad thought just ran into my mind?

"whats this darn mooncake doing here?"

on the way out i looked at it once again and i concluded that it was Nian Gaos..
wahahha..
laughed at my stupidity..


i dont like chinese new year.. if im not wrong i onli got $134 bucks at the moment..
SO little sia!!!
Groans... HOw how how..!!

Neal called me today and asked me the Cost of a Gameboy SP..
i was like huh.. my father buy one... and he dismissed the idea of asking me.
and then guess wad he said.

"i got $300 ++ for my Angpaos already"
i was "wah lau-ing" in my head.. He primary 4 Onli leh get how much already? $300 Plus..
Neal.. i also wan your good life..
Trade lives? (smiles innocently)

whahhaah..


Kidding la.. tml people come my hse better give big angpaos hor.. so stingy for wad.. fl;sdkjfsadlkjdkla;jlaksdja;lk you ar..
Dont make me tear away your voucher ar.. Lol..


i think im mad..


Well.. guess she's not coming online..
shall go sleep..
=)




wah lau-ed






Missing you to bits...!!!!!!!!

Taufik Batisah - Me and Mrs Jones

Me and Mrs Jones, we got a thing going on
We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong to let it go now
We meet ev'ry day at the same cafe
Six-thirty I know she'll be there
Holding hands, making all kinds of plans
While the jukebox plays our favorite song

Me and Mrs, Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones
Mrs. Jones we got a thing going on
We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong to let it go now
We gotta be extra careful
That we don't build our hopes up too high
Cause she's got her own obligations and so, and so do I

Me, me and Mrs, Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones
Mrs Jones we got a thing going on
We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong to let it cool down now
Well, it's time for us to be leaving
Iit hurts so much, it hurts so much down inside
Now she'll go her way and I'll go mine
But tomorrow we'll meet the same place, the same time
Me and Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones
We got a thing going on,We gotta sit down and talk it over..

Woooooooooo~

i was in a cheery mood today.. shall not divulge why..(wahahaha grins to myself)

all i hope for is that we stay like this.. You and me..

But the tendency to have you still boils inside me..

I guess that huifang's right..Its not everyday when you meet someone very important to you.. Passing you by...

Something inside tells me that i've made the greatest mistake..

to fall in love with the girl i wasn't supposed to fall in love with..

but.. the feeling is seeping far too deep..

The moment i left you.. mY mind wasnt.

Breathe Deeply

strings of words appearing on my msn window...
dumbfounded..

little did i expect you to say such things..
no doubt..i was shocked..

but the bits of happiness seems to flow back into one piece again..
reassurance?maybe...

at least i know im not a sub? (sigh of relief?)







went back to school today...
sporting something other people would deem as "GayisH"
they can say whatever they want and laugh and tease for all i care..
so long as i think its nice..
wads wrong with guys liking pink?

i dont see that a problem...anyways.. my this whole group of friends were clad in pink too..
(except for a few)

hmmm.. the way i see it.. i dont think i should let anyone control my fashion sense.. i where what i want to wear.. i do what i want to do..

who has the authority to control my choices?
since the beginning of my teenage years i've been detesting authority all along..
authority ... disgusting filthy word

anyways. ahem.. get to see the people i wanted to see...
talked to cow..
but bearly a few sentences.. cause my group of friends wanted to leave.. darn sia.

hmmm.. went to katong to see junheng extend his hair and sebas cut his ah beng hair style.. wahhaaha... went to Pp for chilling and pooling till we became broke and had to use ezlink credits to satisfy our hunger after the pool game..

it was so heartwarming seeing edmund huifang nicholas and me sharing the 2 packets of pathetic fries..

laughs..

now i know what it means by going through thick and thin together..it suddenly dawned on me that we had the knack of being broke at the same time as well as being filthy rich at the same time as well..

love you guys..



ahem..










































my heart beats fast whenever i think of you

The greatest hurt in life..
is to have someone cheating on you...

The Greatest mistake in life..
is to fall in love with the girl you knew it was wrong to fall in love with..

The greatest regret in life..
is to have no friends..

The greatest desire in life..
is to yearn for something and knowing you can never get it..

The greatest pain in life..
Is to know that you are being used..

The greatest despair in life..
Is to lose something you treasure so much..












isnt it amusing that life's greatest moments are all depressive and hurting..
memories of hurt and pain are remembered more vividly then memories of fun.. laughter... love..





questions running in my head..
jumbled up..




hais..

truely..

lksdajf;sdklfjsd;flkadjdf;sdklafj


The Greatest mistake in life..
is to fall in love with the girl you knew it was wrong to fall in love with..












ahem...






shuddup la...




suddenly.. i miss you..

I dont even know what im feeling now..
confused..

i suddenly miss someone special i haven contacted for a long time..
i tot i could forget....
wtf....this sucks..

anyway..there is a high chance of going back to school on tuesday.. so maybe should be seeing ahem..

just miss her for no particular reason suddenly..


darn i hate myself..

why does love cut the heart so deeply,
why does inflatuation tugs the heart and winces it. then later it lets go...
breakups? is it suited for the emotionally challenged? i find me doubting in my own feelings..


does this mean a breakup?

one side of me tells me to let go.. set her free.. im not good enough for her..
another small voice whispers to me sending signals not to let go..

i dont want to regret.. perhaps im too prideful or anything


i really feel like a bastard.. all the promises and commitments i wanted to make have all come to naught..

was i really in love with you back then or just craving for someone to love..
was i deeply into you.. or deeply craving for a commitment to commit..

all those times where we had together.. i can say i cherish it. i enjoyed your company when we spent those nights together.. However.. i guess we really need time to understand each other more..

i know.. now.. im the villan in the story.. im the captain hook in Peter pan.
Im Mojo jo Jo in Powerpuff girls...
Im Team rocket in pokemon..
Im the greatest villian..

i dont deny that i love you.. but somehow.. inside of me.. i feel that this is not the love i want..
was i too hasty in accepting you?

i guess i have to realise my mistakes and not really repeat them again..


you not tired also meh? sometimes. when i flare up and all.. i guess you also tired le.. but i think being in a relationship.. brooding about the matter doesnt help.. speaking up does..and i dont think we are being very happy this way are we?

im sorry that i hurt you deeply..
making amendments is not gonna help..
hate me? friends? im puzzled..

for the fear of hurting you i bottled it up.. but now.. since you got the picture.. then maybe we should really be apart till its the right time..

loving someone is not just about i need you or you need me.. maybe today you are in love with me.. the next day it can be a whole new feeling..

up till now.. i dont even know what is love.. am i a failure?


im still immature and growing up..
i still need hugs and kisses from "mums" ocassionally...

just as yongxiu said.. im not mature enought..




thats all.. i have to say..
i wannna clear things up..

the question is do you?

im sorry..

PIsseD!!

%)#*@&%(#@&$()&$(@*#&$)(*#^@&*!%@&#%@^&()#

woke up at 11.30 today... i was like.. OMg.. Im going to be Fugging late..
rushed and left my house at 12... fugging late

i was already panicking when i was at the bus stop.. anyway.. the bus came and i scanned the ezlink card.. to my surprise i found out it was -70cents..
wth! luckily i had some coins to save myself from the Embarrassment..

i dont have a clue why the ezlink card's value became 0 overnight...
wth.. i was super sure that the value is More than $10..
Government cheating money?!

wth.. since the day i started paying adult fare.. Life was hell for me.. ***sobs***
i simply don't understand why Bus Trips are so costly nowadays.. Previously i took the bus like nobody's business but now..i have to consider this and consider that before i go anywhere..

i dunno why the government is so eager to charge us MOney while withdrawing so many Priviledges from us.. wad M18 laH this and that blah blah la.. then cannot go Pub.. cannot drink cannot smoke la.. then earn money from us can? wth.. cheat money ar? at least lighten our burden abit la..

darn the sun is so hot.. so tempted to go for a swim... anyways.. speaking of the sun.. i had to walk all the way from the interchange to my house.. in the freaking HOT sun.. WTF!!!
God you Toying me ar?
darn this is just NOt my day i tell you.. NOt not not not not not My day..

Darn ezlink system!
Darn Money world..

I wish i could be rich.. and its Filthy rich!

wahaha.. darn.. got Scv like no Scv.. stupid Mtv.. Chinese Mtv keep playing english songs..
English Mtv Keep Repeating Songs.. wth.. Chinese Mtv play English songs for wad.. might as well play indian songs alsO? you wan? i make indian Mtv for you? Stupid sia..
darn.. Then MTv Play and play all the same fugging songs.. IM totally bored..

cartoon network,disney channel all the same shows everytime..

im already like wth!

BOred to bits at home..




sobs... why my ezlink card money disappear...

I can't i can't i can't i can't i can't i can't i can't i can't i can't.......

i called you today.. you told me about it... but i was indifferent..
i do not see that there is such a need to make a big fuss out of the african guy..
the way i see it.. i dont see a need to be overly worked up about it..
Should i go all the way to toa payoh to confront the guy? I dont see that there is a need too..
anyway.. i tried to tell you to tell the guy to go away.. isn't that a form of concern?
and you said that i wasnt concerned enough.. i was totally dumbfounded..

i find ourselves drifting apart.

i guess in the past.. i was so sure of your relationship that i promised you alot of stuff..
empty promises you think? i have no idea..

did we really know each other well before promising each other stuffs and getting into a lifelong serious relationship.. i guess we really went into a relationship in a hurry.. not realising the commitments and the responsibilities each other have to undertake.. hmm.. moreover.. we dont really understand each other and know each other well.. was it just an inflautation?maybe.. cause we procceded too fast...

i just wanna apologise if i neglected you in the past and all..

im sorry... still loving you..




was slacking at home the whole day.. yawns.. tired... ****
going to Edmund's house to slack Tommorow =)
Yippe.. They suggested go reservior catch crab. diao.. there got crab meh?


yawns.. no mood to blog again...wHY!????

Nevermind.. i shall go eat Chocolates..
Yum Yum.. Slurps....*drools*

an angel is what i shall be..
pure and so carefree..

name the sins, it makes me blue..
but its easy to forgive you..

love me and hold my hand..
i'll take you to your wonderland..

what are problems they don't stay.
follow me, for all your days..

take my hand,i'll hold you tight..
never will you see a starless night..

Make you happy, make you glad.
i'll never ever make you sad..

put your hands securely around me.
i promise i'll set you free..

no more worries no more tears..
i'll accompany you through your years.

what is sadness wad is pain..
i'll never ever bring you rain..

close your eyes, i'll lead your heart
we'll never be far apart..

i'll whisper softly to your ears..
listen hard, i'll drive away your fears..

So whenever your down and blue...
I'll be there cause I Love you.

So an angel is what i shall be..
Pure and so carefree..


wah... im quite good at poeting.. introducing the next great shakespeare..Clarence!!!
whahaa.. laughs!!

for those who think that i Copied it from a website..
i DID not..
jealous i so Poetic aR?
HMph!


contented is not the word to describe me.. greedy.. i think i possess this trait a teeny weeny bit..


sometimes i have to tell myself i have to get serious and really focus.. if not.. i will be misconstrued into thinking that you are really into it..

it suddenly dawned onto me that chinese new year is coming..**panics**
i was chilling out when someone had to remind me chinese new year is approching and is on the 9th.. i tot chinese new year always 17 - 18 one? why this year become 9? or is it im too excited..

the surprising thing is that im not at all excited for the upcoming new year.. rather then taking angpaos of course.. (who dun wan money siao ar?)

the thought of me going back to school seemed like a Sucky idea.. i feel so act when i went back to school a few days ago.. there must have been some people who proclaimed in their hearts.."eh come Back for wad haolian!"

*sobs* *cries*

but come to think of it.. i'll get to see some of the people i didnt meet for very long..

i wanna see april!!!!
Pinchy Your cheeks!!

i wanna see erm uhm.. MRs Djie..i still haven got my Hug lehs!

and lastly the COW!!! No not Mrs Kow.. Hmph WHo wanna see her.. always have something against me one..
but the Cow.. ( the person i mention i think you know who you are.. wahahah.. laughs!)

wahhaah.. and not forgeting.. Kwanghock + Derrick..


but still hor.. dun really feel like going leh.... **Grasps**
i can already hear Huifang saying.. "gGooooOo LAaaHH.."
Edmund,junheng,danting will then say "yaH Lorrrrrr yadda yadda blah blee Bloh"




One day Lion roared to the animal kingdom..

Lion : "each of you will tell a joke and i shall kill whoever laughs at the Joke and spare the Joker"

MOnKey told a Joke... and then giraffe laughed.. giraffe die lor..

Elephant then told the JOke....MOnkey laugh.. then Monkey die lor..

Later.. Lion told a Joke but no one laugh... suddenly.. there was a hysterical laughter from tortoise..

Lion asked : "why you laugh?"
Tortoise said : "Monkey Joke very funny..fuwahhahhahhahahhhah"

Siao hor?

SOmeone said this to us when we were "patiently" waiting for our pay..





darn Mosquitoes everytime suck my blood when im using the computer...
Siam la i have aIds Hor..



My Poem nice hor.. (Dun deny!!)