So sigh...this blog post is definitely overdue. But then again, this blog is overdue as well so I'll excuse myself and am thankful that I've been so busy with Mr. Eli and living life each day that writing and blogging are at the bottom of my list of importance currently. But, I can't let another day pass without capturing these thoughts.
So here goes...we are expecting twins any day now! There are so many words to captivate my emotions about this life changing event. Most are excitement, gratitude, and pure awe at the Lord's provision for our family. Every once and awhile a bit of nervousness and overwhelmed feelings sneak in at the thought of having 3 children under the age of two, but that's when God whispers I've got this, you definitely don't! Amen! More of you Lord and less of me. So let the chaos commence! :)
As I type, I am 36 weeks and 1 day pregnant with these two beautiful blessings inside. I can't even tell you how thankful we are to have made it this far. I have been seeing a high risk OB since we've got 2 nuggets cooking and since week 8, he has done nothing but tell me of all the risks we have with two, my size, preterm labor, NICU possibilities, etc. That's his job of course and I love that he tells us exactly what we are facing. Thankfully our God has been bigger than that! At about the 32 week point, my doctor said, I don't know what you are doing but these babies are growing beautifully so keep doing it. That's when I said, I'm thankfully not doing it and we couldn't be where we are at without our family and friends interceding on our behalf and praying for us throughout this entire journey. That's not to say that there may or may not be something around the corner that's tough but I cannot announce these twins arrival as if I had any of it in my control. In fact, I was pretty consumed with fear throughout the first half (if not more) of this pregnancy and worried about each turn in the road, but thankfully our God is able and met me there on some ugly days and drew me back into trusting Him and praising Him for these sweet blessings. I've been on bedrest the last 2 weeks because of high blood pressure/swelling, etc. so am trying to rest and keep that down as well as keep the babies inside. We are so thankful for family coming from out of state to help take care of big brother while we await the twins arrival. He is such a mess and so much fun right now and definitely full of life and much quicker than his large mama right now. :)
I guess I'll do a FAQ section to finish off the post/announcement, for all those curious minds.
1) Twins? Do you know what you are having?
Nope! We didn't find out the genders. How fun is that? A double surprise!! Well, it's fun for us at least. Just not enough surprises in life and this was one we wanted to do for sure. They are fraternal and in two sacs so we do know that much. With twins, there are a LOT of ultrasounds, so we had to constantly remind the staff at our office not to spoil it and to tell us to look away anytime they had to measure femurs, etc. We are so excited to meet and know these two!
2) So you didn't find out? How on earth are you shopping and decorating the nursery and naming them?
The nursery is a basic yellow and gray theme and the shopping will have to wait until afterward. Residency isn't exactly a large paycheck, so it's beneficial for us to wait anyhow and not go baby crazy and instead just get what we need. As far as names, our list probably has 14 on it!?! It will be an at hospital decision and watch us pick something that isn't even on the list, ha!
3) What? I didn't see this on Facebook, did I miss this?
Nope, you didn't miss it. It wasn't on there. This is a multiple point answer. To be completely honest, I spent so much of this pregnancy in fear that it never seemed like the right moment everyone that we talk to on a mostly regular basis already knew, as we had wanted to tell people individually. Then there's our past struggle with infertility. For years I dreaded FB announcements. Some days I would see 3 or 4 on the same day and would feel so alone like we were the only ones without an announcement. I still have lots of mama friends that are in this boat and I pray for them daily and a cutesie announcement on FB just seemed like doing something that hurt me, even though I of course was excited for others, just was also combined with some sadness. Last...I couldn't JUST post a picture or a short sentiment. The Lord has blessed us so greatly and I feel like I can't just say I'm pregnant without proclaiming His goodness to us and just how amazing this blessing is!
4) Do twins run in your family? Are these natural? Was this a surprise?
Ugh...this question. I'm assuming you're not asking if they are part cyborg or otherwise. Apparently complete strangers at the store and all over the place feel the need to ask this constantly and I guess that's no longer in the personal category and just a matter of fact question, though I would never ask someone this! Kinda like all the adoption questions we get that are highly inappropriate. Oh well, gotta look at it as an opportunity for grace and to show those random people God's work in it. My short stranger (you don't even know my name answer) is Yes! They do run in the family. Colby's little sisters are twins, his grandparents are twins, my grandparents were twins. Annnd Done.
Then there's the (I actually know you answer) or I am feeling like I really need to tell this person about God's goodness and what a miracle these babies are! And for that I would answer: No we did not do IVF (though have lots of friends who are now holding miracles because of it and God's hand in that). But no, we were not completely out of the blue pregnant. Before relocating for the rest of Colby's residency, we decided to check in with our doctor since we didn't think we would want to get reestablished with anyone once moved. No surprises there, everything still ALL normal. This is what we were told before we adopted Eli, that all tests were normal and it was unknown. We tried a few months of oral medications prior to adopting Eli and a round of IUI, but had already felt so strongly called to adoption that we stopped there and pursued what we knew we were called to do. I will also input that fertility is a highly personal decision and different people are called differently and comfortable with different things. It's a hard hard journey that I'd wish on no one, but also one that taught me so much in my walk with the Lord and my trust upon His plan for us. So, this time the only thing different was my doctor suggested we try a different oral med that we hadn't tried before. We did it two months in a row and to our huge surprise, we got our first positive pregnancy test ever! This was determined by a blood test and a personal phone call from our doctor. But of course I had to go to the store and buy a stick because I wanted to see two lines that I'd never seen before on the millions I had taken before. Two beautiful lines!
5) What did you do when you found out?
We cried, we laughed, we prayed in thanksgiving, we hugged and kissed our Eli a million times, we were shocked...for days! But we were also within 2 days of moving and on a craze to get everything done! Then fast forward a few weeks to relocating states and getting an US and the tech starts by saying...well, there are two, did you know there were two? Ummm...utter shock! Nope! We weren't even sure there would be one in there, let alone two miracles. So I apparently released two eggs, and it was God's perfect timing for us to have biological children. Our hearts have already been so full with our Eli in our family and I can't imagine having missed out on him had we been blessed prior. He is our greatest blessing and we are just amazed at God's goodness with bringing him to our family. The twins have a hard act to follow with our precious little man, though we know there will just be more love in our hearts to share.
6) How far apart will the twins and Eli be?
Umm...ha! Funny question. Eli is currently 17 1/2 months. Twins coming any day...so that far apart. Yep, we're going from 0-3 children in a year and a half and will have 3 children under the age of two. Ha! We will definitely keep our sense of humor around here because if not, we may cry! But once again, God planned this. He knows our best. And he will come beside us hugely. It makes me think of one of my favorite parts in the book "Kisses from Katie" which is an amazing book everyone should read.
"God does give us more than we can handle. Not maliciously, but intentionally, in love, that His glory may be displayed, that we may have no doubt of who is in control, that people may see His grace and faithfulness shining through our lives. And as I surrender these situations to Him, watch Him take over and do the impossible, I am filled with joy and peace- so much more that I can handle."
7) How has your pregnancy been?
It's been a journey, that's for sure, an amazing and equally tough journey. I was tired and VERY sick for a long time and pretty much puked until 22 weeks with lots of migraines in between. Twin hormones are no joke. I also have had my SI in my lower back out since the very beginning of pregnancy, so had to do physical therapy for several months and have had to wear a brace pretty much the entire pregnancy for shooting nerve pain down leg and in back. Hoping that will heal itself after delivery, it has been limiting with my Eli and lifting and that's the hardest part. However, during each physical change I just know it is a sign of the miracle that is happening inside me. Worth every second. Now at the end, I am ginormous, swollen, an insomniac, and tackling high blood pressure and put on rest. Again, worth it. There is definitely something to be said for picking up a child at the hospital, though obviously another set of symptoms, but I admire all my momma friends who have done both so gracefully! And gosh, certainly makes me appreciate Eli's birthmother so much more for the sacrifices she made to choose life and bring E into this world.
8) When are you due?
Our technical due date is February 27th, as in a 40 week pregnancy. With twins, they'd induce at 38 weeks if I made it that far. Less than 5% of twin pregnancies make it that far. Not many make it as far as I have currently at 36 weeks. Most twins are born by 35 weeks. So basically we just wait and see, any day now and hoping my blood pressure behaves. I will say it's kinda a not funny joke. Measuring wise, the uterus is about 6-8 weeks ahead in size with a twin pregnancy...meaning mine was measuring full term several weeks ago, but just kidding, you still have further to go. My doctor explained that the uterus doesn't know that it has 2 babies in it, just expansion and when it expands X amount, will start to contract, and this is why many are born so early. Once again, thank you Lord for your provision and protection over this pregnancy. Can't wait to meet these two ninjas! It's a pinball machine in there for sure with 4 arms and legs!
Ok...I can't really think of anymore FAQs so I guess that's it. But I will end from an excerpt from one of my favorite books that I read on my long journey to being a mama, Hannah's Hope. Especially if anyone reading this is struggling with anything that they are waiting on the Lord for.
God designed manna to spoil within one or two days, yet to Moses he said, "Take an omer of manna and keep it for the generations to come, so they can see the bread I gave you to eat in the desert when I brought you out of Egypt" (Exodus 16:32). Without reminders of their heartache, His people would quickly forget the significance of their blessings. It is important that I never forget the pain and process that brought me to today's joy.
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| Our First Sight |
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| Could barely fit both in one picture at 16 weeks |
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| Beginning and first "belly photo" |
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| 22 weeks with my two little pumpkins and my big pumpkin running around having fun |
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| Our Maternity Proofs taken at almost 35 weeks |
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| Precious Big Brother |
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| Can't imagine doing life with anyone else! |
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| Big Bro Eli |
