Tuesday, June 19, 2007
10:23 AM
went to my class bbq last night at brendan's (aka sotong) place. lily brought her new b/f! hahaha. vanessa realized that our whole gang's been slacking too much, and is in the midst of putting a study group thingy into place. haha.
my pc died too. my bro's been trying to fix it for days to little effect. now i dont see how im going to complete 4 frickin reports within this week. gahhh.
and.. i kinda wish my mum would just confront me on my secret life. after all, she seems to know so much about it but she's just keeping it to herself, accusing me of lying to her, lamenting about how my life is turning out to be be.
and everytime she does that "oh i know you're lying to me" thing, im like this close to telling her that i wouldnt lie to her if she gives me no reason to. but of course, considering the possible drama that might ensue, i did not.
ok so i wish that confrontation would happen right now.
i mean, its not like i want to lead this kind of dodgy life, you know. its not like everyone can accept my way of life. (like there were ever any other "ways", so to speak of, for me to consider.)
and even if she can't accept it, theres nothing i can do about it. hell, if given the choices, i would rather not lead this kind of life. but of course, as it is usually in life, theres nothing, zilch, that i can do shit about.
but even so, i still hope that one day the truth will be out, and she'll learn to accept it. not now, maybe, but perhaps in the near future.
the night
is still young
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
12:04 AM
ok i owe my dear an entry! :P
we went to watch phantom of the opera last last saturday! (i do realize at this point that i've been skimping on the updates haha) my mum was being quite a nazi about everything, but thankfully i managed to iron it out with a couple of well-chosen lies. hahaha.
so the musical was pretty okay... we got stucked on the balcony though, and of course we couldn't see parts of the stage. the effects were gorgeous but according to dear, Raoul's voice kinda got drowned by the sopranos that night. and the chandelier (which was hovering precariously over the heads of the audience in front) was kinda scary. after the whole musical, we went for supper! then NR bus'ed home.
truth to speak, i think the whole phantom of the opera was too hyped up la. i didn't think it was worth 160 bucks for our tix.
anyways. its e-learning week this week, so i had the whole week to meet dear. (my mum was under the impression that im going to school so :P ) on monday we met and went to watch Don't Look Back (Jangan Pandang Belakang), tuesday i went to her place, and on wednesday we went to get her glasses then watched Bridge To Terabithia.
the ghost in Don't Look Back was kinda funny, and the movie was scary only in its sudden movements, not out of pure fear.
Bridge To Terabithia was nice though, but the ending was quite sad laa.
today i went to the newater plant for my environmental science case study! the walk to the plant was long and the stupid sun was working overtime. and finally after the whole trek, we were rewarded with slightly odd-tasting water. the girls and i were camwhoring abit. hahaha.
and i just counted, 22 days left. after that, i won't be able to see dear much... sigh. i guess i chose quite a bad time to get hitched.
but as long as we have faith, i guess there's little left to fear.
and i realized i can be quite a demanding and quick-tempered idiot, causing my dear a lot of unnecessary distress over the past few days. sorry >.< i need a good marlboro fix. but i shouldn't because dear doesn't like it. hahaha
---
how would you stop that void from feeding itself
the night
is still young
Monday, May 07, 2007
8:30 PM
wee. so many things happened all at once these few weeks...
Tuesday, 1st of May
found love again! hahaha.
Wednesday, 2nd of May
skipped lessons today! hahaha. went to dear's place early in the morning... she cooked spaghetti and chicken chop for me! wow. now i understand how it feels to have an other half who can cook.
Thursday, 3rd of May
met dear in the afternoon since she wanted to lunch with me. my last lesson for the day was cancelled as the lecturer was sick, so i met dear again at suntec after she went home for dinner at sakae sushi.
i also realized today that i can and will get terribly lost in suntec city. hahaha.
anyways, we went walking abit more cos dear needed to get new glasses, after that she saw me home then went to meet a friend of her's in jurong.
Friday, 4th of May
practical in the morning, then had lunch with dear (again. hahaha.) during the ridiculous 4 hour break that i have at billy bombers in marina square. after that we went to the roof terrace at esplanade. dear had to leave halfway in between cos she had to rush to work, and i had to rush back to school for lessons.
anyway most of the girls from my group didn't turn up for the last lesson, and halfway through, vanessa, lily and me sneaked out of the lecture theatre because the boredom was too overwhelming.
Saturday, 5th of May
went out early in the afternoon to meet dear at marina square again. we wanted to watch Don't Look Back, but turns out that all the good seats are taken, so we went to thai express for tom yum seafood steamboat, then we bought more foodstuff and gelato hahaha.
after that we went down to centrepoint, then to cineleisure to meet daniel, brian and harry, went down to somerset station to meet the other bunch of people, then finally to this outdoor restaurant at orchard plaza.
so while we were sitting down there, we felt something like rain. the uncle was telling us it was the sprinkler overhead us, but we were not too sure whether to believe him... but at least the rain (or was it really the sprinkler) didn't become to heavy so we decided to ignore it after a while. uncle jasperrr joined us after some time cos his friend ditched him. :P
after that it was back to cineleisure, then to outside heerens where the guys were deciding where to go, which tooked almost half an hour. some wanted to go clubbing, some wanted to go home, and some just wanted to chill. aiyooo.
anyways they finally decided to head down to one of the coffee club at raffles city to chill, and i found out that daniel was actually from the same primary school as me while my dear was tearing my wallet apart. (they saw the student pass that i had when i was in primary school! the horror!)
it was quite late by the time we were done, so some of the peeps left and the remainder decided to head to the adjacent mcdonald's to chill some more, whereupon i fell asleep, woke up, and fell asleep, over and over again. when it was around 4am, me, my dear and bastian left, and we were wandering around the city looking for a bloody atm, which we never found because we got fed up and decided to use bastian's debit card to catch a cab.
so yea, i went to my dear's place to crash hahaha. woke up at around 11am and left, fortunately just before her brother came home. :x
anywaysssssss. today i met daniel outside my classroom coincidentally... he had 4 tix to Angela Zhang Shao Han's concert in SP to give away! i was gahhhhhhhhh i wanna go...but i was under the impression that the concert will end too late, and i didnt want my mum to call and bitch and rant, and since dear was spectacularly late ( :x ), i decided to pass up the chance. :(
but nevermind! im going to catch phantom of the opera with dear this coming saturday!! yay!!
and the stupid fungi on my feet is threatening to kill me. vanessa kept screaming in my ear the word septicemia (which roughly means blood poisoning when bacteria enters the bloodstream), which of course is quite serious and could be fatal.
(im one step closer to dying at my 20s!) but no, now that i have someone to love, i'll have to pass, thanks.
im going to have to visit the doctor's on wednesday just in case my whole foot gets infected and falls off.
the night
is still young
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
10:05 PM
so me and mum have launched into our own individual wars over the whole chalet payment thing.
somehow she had guessed i would try to pay it by myself (she was actually under the impression that it was a class chalet and i would be able to get the money from my lecturer, but no, its something more personal), so yea, i kinda admitted to it. and she saying stuff like getting my dad to discipline me etc etc. sigh... as i once read, in order to maintain a healthy and working relationship between parents and children, they should be separated by at least one continent.
which is why, when the opportunity presents itself, im going to remove myself from this house and live by myself. now i know why my sister was so hasty in her decision to move out.
so thats about how dysfunctional my family is. at least my brother is still very nice to me. hell, he is the only person in the family who doesnt take sides (unless he's somehow involved) when me/my sister goes into a war with my mum.
and i just realized how far my mind will go just to make itself happy and forgetful about certain stuff.
even if it means killing myself slowly. take a guess.
anyway i left all my ciggies with bernard, in case my mum finds out and adds this all to the recent drama that i've already have on my hands. so to those out there who care, yes im not going to be smoking for a quite a while.
but if someone offers me one, im not going to refuse either. hahaha.
the night
is still young
Sunday, April 22, 2007
8:33 PM
arrrr. my body's on heat (and not in the good kind of way).
my mum was nagging about the 200 bucks i owe my sister before i left my house this morning. damn it, as i predicted she'd recalled it a little too soon. sigh what to do, what to do...
anyway, i had lunch today with timothy... at ichiban boshi! hahaha. that place is like a reservoir of good (and maybe bad? i dunno) memories for me. i like to go there whenever my mind and heart is in the not-here-not-there phase. good food cheers me up! hahaha.
so yea, we were talking a lot, about astrology, zodiac, some astrological combinations that's just asking for trouble... and just a bit of reminiscing about the past... even some taboo topics. hahaha we yakked like 2-3 hours of our time there.
what he said about pisceans was so freakily true. emotional, sensitive, idealists in romance, and above all, the best lovers among the rest of the signs! hahaha. its nice to have someone to talk to when im in the not-here-not-there phase.
as i was leaving esplanade, i met baoling and weixiang on the bus! ahhhh! i just went on about my own business to give them some privacy. hahaha.
school tomorrow. and im finally getting my glasses on thursday. yay!
---
"i only know what's once bitten, twice shy."
"hmm... i, on the other hand, believe third time's a charm."
the night
is still young
Friday, April 20, 2007
6:39 PM
sometimes its good to have someone who has years of experience in relationships beside you, dispensing invaluable nuggets of advice.
my fridays suck. i have a 4 hours break from 11am all the way till 3pm, and its reason enough to make me skip the lessons stretching from 3pm-6pm. -.-
so anyway, since we just did some briefing today for our 8am-11am practical, we were able to leave early. me and the guys went down to brendan's (aka sotong) house to gym, tan and swim. da rong and ben had to leave early for their gems, so it was down to me, jerome and brendan. brendan was sweet enough to lend me his trunks so i can go swimming, yay! but yah, im pretty much tanned and slightly overcooked i think. gotta do this more often. (are you reading this, brendan? :P ) hahaha.
now im slapping every moisturizer, vitamin-enriched mineral water, etc etc in a desperate attempt to keep the tan and not get peeling skin. gahhhhh.
the night
is still young
Thursday, April 19, 2007
12:40 AM
damn sore throat. i think im just a cough of blood away from my open casket. must be the dryness of that marlboro light that's causing this. arrrgghhhh. now its menthol or nothing all the way. (maybe its really a higher power telling me to stop -.-) which is one of the point that we should die young, have nice open caskets and look nice even upon our deaths. yes i know im being morbid.
and...strange as it is, but isn't it always the forbidden fruit that our hearts desire the most, when the common apple suits us just fine. especially when it is the forbidden that turns around and bites us in the ass. such is the power of temptation i guess.
i know im courting trouble trying to recreate those certain memories. would it that if i knew the nightmares that came along with those memories wouldn't re-emerge again, then i'd tell myself to go ahead without a single doubt.
for everything else, i'll just leave them to my heart and fate.
its scary how tarot readings can be so accurate. hmm.
anyway, its been an eventful night.
---
all i want is you to be here with me.
the night
is still young