why is the exam period seem so everlasting??? haha...tmr got my most dreaded paper... still trying to absorb all the info...hmmm...stupid exam...made me gain 1 kg, have 2 "beauti-FULL" eye bags and 4 pimples!!! sobz sobz sobz...ugly me...can't wait for it to be over... so many things in cg to settle...that day combine cg with shanmin...then she commented..she finally knew what i meant by there is no one in the cg i can depend on...hahaha...well well well....i believe God will be faithful and take care of His people...=)

Finished my Cognitive paper!! haha..finally..so afraid that I won't be able to remember all the concepts..cos everytime attempt to recap alwiz faild...alright lah..but nothing beats finishing Bio Psych next tue..haha...killer...tmr got developmental...so much to read!! really dunno where to start...haha..think I go pray first...pray for some wisdom and understanding to select the right things to study...hehe...I wanna get an A! A! A!
Oh yah...and I GREW FATTER!!!! my gosh...keep eating and eating and eating when i'm stressed....ate SO MUCH!!!! now so fat...sobz sobz...

wah...it has been soooooo long since i last wrote here...hmm...has been rather hectic with Easter and exams.. Easter is over, in about 12 hrs time is my first paper...actually quite encouraged by all the members' sms and messages telling me that they are praying for me and wishing me all the best for my papers...feel that I'm not alone...later translation paper, dunno what to prepare...juz now go practise think most of the time i checking dictionary loh..haha...hope that tmr's paper won't be that tough.. sigh...feel so limited by this irritating exams... can't wait for it to be over...so many things i wanna do!!!!! =P

wow...has been about a week since i last posted something...spent my whole monday night inviting frenz for Passion...PTL!! I have 50 friends confirmed!!! Now thinking of how to meet up with all of them and integrate them...dun want it to be a come-and-go thing for them...good opportunity to invite them to church...MUST HAVE A CREATIVE IDEA!! Tuesday meeting...wah..from 7.45-11.30...juz admin, planning, admin, planning..then at about 11 everyone look so tired and spaced out..hehe..were discussing about EMERGE...Pst wants us to take part in Word Power...forming a team with Benny and Shanmin...haha..see the verses suddenly feel very nervous...haha..and Pst oso wants us to join the Extreme Sports!!!! Was telling Benny we should start training for the biathlon...mon, wed, fri go jog...tue, thu go swim...hahaha... wait long long for me to do it...haha...
looking at the calendar for the next three months made me a bit "bu fang xin" my member to go India...hmm...feel like pulling out...but the more i think about it the more i really dun wanna pull out...went for the bonding session then when we were discussing about the things...REALLY REALLY dun feel like pulling out...I've alwiz wanted to go for an expedition...I feel I put in quite a bit of effort into it...am looking forward to it...Do I really need to pull out?? Is it really necessary? Will I regret? But if I go, will I regret? Will there be another chance for me to go? But how can I convince myself to leave my ppl alone for three wks?? *confused*
Anyway...had a bz thursday...started my day going 20 mins late for my jap tut...haha...anyway...IT'S THE LAST JAP TUTORIAL I'M EVER GOING TO ATTEND!! hahaha...highlite of the day..determined i'm not going to continue anymore...realized i got no more interest in it and i'm really struggling...the more i think of not taking it anymore the happier i am..haha...
FINALLY THE CTSS BAZAAR IS OVER! We earned about $450!! Wow...din noe that can earn so much one..haha...had a lot of fun with the other mentors...I enjoying working tog...can see everyone put in the time and effort...it's one thing to see things done with one person and another thing to see things done with a group effort...really feel great...=)
Now back to my project proposal...due tmr..gotta get it done tonight then prepare for tmr's WAH party! Pray that all the members and friends will come...and that the event will really be a GREAT one...pray pray pray pray hard....pretty stressed up now...many things on my mind...need to put it in God's hands...finally appreciate Nora Jones songs...very soothing to the mind...
Auntie came home today...really wished i could spend more time communicating with papa and auntie...but I really very very loaded in my mind...and papa is alwiz nagging at me...I can't take in anymore of these...I will blow up..and I dun wanna blow up at papa...i look at all the housework to be done..I wished I could take care of my house better...I wanna give papa a cleaner and neater home to return to...but it's so difficult..hmm...why can't there be 48 hrs in one day? =P

Hmm...although not very free, decided to write something here...haha...bohliao...actually wanna let my dear fren Irene know how am I...yesterday had a family bbq...my nephews so cute!!!! no words to describe... just feel like laughing at them... Kerwin forever babbling away though I can't make out his words... haha... and Anson.. burst a balloon accidentally and literally paused there for 30 secs with his hand raised at the position he burst the balloon...haha... realized it is SO tiring to slack... had to spend time with my bro at his chalet so went there to slack the whole day.. feel so drained when I reach home!! Ate like nobody's business...think i ate the MOST among all my family members...=P MY DIET!!!

Wow....feel so free now...juz had CG today, done up the minutes,... guess nothing of high priority for me to do now...FINALLY can rest a little more tonight... Farnie.. today FOUR people msged me in Friendster and asked if they can make friends with me...haha... though it's not anything new but FOUR in a day??!!! hmm...did my profile get published publicly or something...hehe... nevermind...they're in for a great treat to the Passion for Christ!! hehe...got 99 marks for my sign lang test... sigh...really that stupid "She" go and write "He" mistake ah?? Sobz...gone is my perfect score for Basic Level... going to get tougher anyway, so...erm...haha...shan't comment... My bio psych test got 11/30!!!! haha...dunno to be happy or sad...happy cos I expected a single digit and of cos sad cos I failed...hiya...wateva...since it's over, shan't think about it so much...;P Think my relationship with Jing is a bit strained recently...Is it 'cos we spent lesser time together? We seemed to be saying rather mean things in a joking way to each other and sometimes I know it hurts her and of course it hurts me... Something seemed to be lost in our frenship... I hope I'm just being overly sensitive...but I do have to admit sometimes I get alot of pressure from her outstanding results and I dunno how to put on a happy front... Now in the process of changing my mind and attitude towards her good grades...should be happy for her and not too pressurised...Think I should stop comparing and just make sure that I am doing my best can liao...

Done with another term paper! hehe... wanted to go for Jap last lec today but had to stay at home to finish up this term paper which I fell asleep while doing last night... One down... dun wanna think of how many more to go... haha... yesterday Dr Larry preached a very good msg... yah.. MINISTRY IS ABOUT RELEASING PEOPLE TO MINISTER... feel good that I went... was really a great Word... and Irene shared with me about WHATEVER THINGS OUR HANDS LAY UPON, IT WILL INCREASE BCOS GOD CALLED US TO INCREASE! Amen! I wanna increase in my studies, in my finances, in my relationship with my family, in my CG, in my spiritual life...so many things...in EVERY area there must be an increase! Val, set up the sail and let God be the wind that take total control of your ship!

Juz reached home not long ago...was feeling really tired..very drained...about to write a totally negative blog...somehow after talking to my members I actually feel better...;P So many assignments due, so many things to be done...was a little overwhelmed...today's turnout for svc was bad...CG seemed to be attacked left right centre...out of the blue quite a few PO cases...and suddenly so many farnie reasons came up... already so consumed by my own stuff...still need to keep thinking of every one of my members at the back of my mind...wanna know that all of them are fine...so tired...the thot of reaching home...reminds me of the laundry yet to be done, my things to be packed, sch work, loads of them, lying in wait for me...and the minutes for YEP....next week is CTSS's bazaar...left one more week to do up EVERYTHING...so many things to think of...am I really able to do up all of them...I'm supposed to be triumphing over all of them but why am I leading a near-defeated life? God....I need Your strength..I feel so helpless...I feel like I'm almost drowning...I wanna just pour out everything before You...I need to empty all these things from inside me so that I can breathe...feel like I'm suffocating now... Desperate for God to move...

SUBMITTED MY 2000-WORD TERM PAPER!!! Though I was 2 minutes late... hee... Wow...really a load off my mind...so totally stressed out and bothered by it...although I think I wrote loads and tons of rubbish...well...too late to do anything...hehe... my poor brain can finally take a short little break before doing all the other things waiting to be done... dun wanna think of them now... only wanna take my nice shower and RELAX!!!! Lie PEACEFULLY on my bed... though this peace won't last very long... ;P

hmm...many people seems to be writing blogs...sounds like a pretty good place to share my joy, vent my frustrations, complain about sch work...hehe...shall see if I'm able to last long in this! (start of my complaints...) TOMOLO GOT 2000-WORD TERM PAPER TO HAND UP and I haven't started on it yet!! And the article I printed out to refer too has a missing page!!!!! GREAT....now I have problem finding that paper...IRRITATING!!

Farnie the timings of the Blogger...so super backdated...current time is 11:05am on the 12/3/2004...let's see what time this Blogger reflects...