tell me something i don't already know.

sigh.. always poking in other people's life, looking at their clothes, pretty faces, shoes, rings .....
why can't i be like them.. but not with their troubles of cuz. kinda superficial too, its like, why do you have to go through so much and get your heart hardened when you can just avoid all those unnecessary shiat..
waste time, waste effort, waste tears.
sometime in this world, i can't even be myself..
i don't wanna lose myself in this world..

why oh why? even if i'm not the one who is at fault, i still need to carry the burden, even if its your fault, it still ends up to be my fault cuz i'm mean. but i was just trying to guard my heart. :(
avoiding it being trampled by you people.
please stop creating troubles for me, *sigh*
it's hard to be a leader. Really.

helpless

Dear heavenly Father,

i pray for conviction for my 'lovely' brother,
that he may be so broken before You and humbled before You.
i pray that he will treat his sister better.
oh Lord, take away all his pride and guide his path so that he will not be blinded by the things on Earth but by the things above. Let Your goodness and mercy surround him every single day.
strengthen him and let him lean upon You and depend on Your power and not on his own.
once again, i thank You for all the wonderful work that You had done and i thank You in advance for my prayer request to be sent up to heaven like a sweet smelling aroma.
in Jesus, mighty name i pray.
Amen.

to live a live of consistency

went to leader's meeting..
omg, my first, definitely not the last ;)

ThankYou Pst for your message, awesome..
i will be consistent in/out of church
practicing humility through fasting! sooon~

on the way home, there this weird uncle saying i should pray when i get home, cuz i sneeze twice at the road junction.. creepy.. and i kinda forgotten about it.. but now.. i HAVING NOSEBLEED!

T.T


one day i will touch Pst's hand. haha!!

HAPPIE 18TH BDAY JUN!!

go clubbing! ;) *winks winks*

went dhoby exhchange to deco brownie cake.. haha
damn slow..
anyway, i wore formal today but totally dont look like right? haha.
nevermind la, my faci v lenient. lol..

went park mall(?) and eat vegitarian, then went to cine leisure. emax to watch " cannot rmb lol "
lol! hack kelvin's twitter at that same time, cuz he and leonard go and hide the cake.
HAHHAAHA. damn funny, nearly died.






the sick kelvin. lol!


they eating spicy soup. hahah! :D funneh














look at all of them closing their eyes! LOLL!!!!


i'll just post one unglam here. look at stupid kelvin!!! :@ raaar!! leonard also! keep disturbing me!







i miss my nong hair, please assure me! :(

saying you're tired when you're just plain sad. #Damnthatssotrue

this week had been sad once again..
but at least, next week i am going to join usher ministry! hahah
looong loong wait siol.

saturday super super loong loong day!
LOL, slept late cuz i chiong 4 chorus board sia..
morning 12 plus CG, 3pm PM, service and fellowship.
damn tired la, Pst Phill preach but i frigging tired.
cuz i cried tooo much..

Pretty true about what Pst Phill preach(even though i was half-nodding away)
i am going to cut the ties of unsuccessful/unfruitful r/s and stop worrying..
i really LOATHE people putting me down lor, i don't know what i do to deserve this kinda stuff, nonsense.
:( i am so busy, don't even have time for myself okay? For God's sake. childish
its like this is my season of trials, testing and tribulation.
God, bring me through this, and tell me the lesson i ought to learn.
JADED!

seriously, WHAT HAD I DONE IN MY PREVIOUS LIFE. lol....
i am not at your bidding okay.
i'm so so tired.... SO SO tired,
but i am not going to show my weak side.
yes i can grow/go through this.

may my capacity be enlarged and stretched from head to toe, left to right.

life's good............................... apparently not.

are you blind? i guess you are.
sigh, just had a looonng conference talk w the cogls and my.
was kinda drifting away at the start. (regretted it) and also regretted not penning my thoughts, but lucky got phone. ^^
cogl? ting? you sure you ready? don't seem so to me. :(
negativity submerged me. but me, yes this pathetic soul here, beg to differ.
i need to shine for God's glory or rather outshine my fag brather. :( hmpf
i need to rise up, i don't even know is this my dream, my calling?
everything seems a blur to me only. *big sighs*
CHUA HUI TING. 振作一点 好不好
i lost all my faith, but gaining it back bit by bit, i don't want to lose myself in this carnal world, i wanna be someone great. can't possibly let this rare gem waste her life away right, LOL! hehe.

okay, i'm back up again, nobody should be here to crush me. :)

you have no idea, seriously

lol.. seriously feel like this okay..
but i'm fine.. there's no need to come to me or my friends and ask " is ting okay? "
@#$%^ you know better.

gkghikjkj everyone that used me.. go away.
hmpf.

i miss my secondary school friends. ironic isn't it?

sorry.

i guess i don't know my own strength
hai, i've been really cranky and weird this days and had not been a good ambassador for Christ. i'm old.. but one year one month old only. haha!! whatever

.... i had so many things on my mind that i wanna blogged it out, say it out, do it well, finish them off. but i always forget. sian.. (like wanting to type a worship song here, but forgetting what's the harmony and lyrics. zzz somewhere around praise and cross? lol)

today Pst Kong preach bout something like a mixture of fourth dimensions and limited thinkings.. wasn't paying my fullest attention as i was distracted by my thoughts, (probably bout my bad week/and the irritation from having to squeeze in between seats, really hate it -,-)
but i was so touched towards the end of the service. i am so amazed.. almost every sermons that were preached relates to me somehow or another. :D weep a lil. i guess i was tooo tired. so lazy to read the word nowadays.. sigh, no wonder i have been having tribulations currently and failing to handle them the Godly way.

bla.. and i look up at the sky but no stars. i guess i have to search deeper and drill deeper down to find my promises and start to be faith-filled for my visions and dreams. insightful much.

loss for words

tough week 
i really don't know sia.
what you want me to say, react, whatsoever.
i only feel like a worst friend.
i know you guys just ask me what happen for nothing. lip service.
i never felt so insecure before. i never felt so out of place.
wait. maybe i had always been like that.
i dont know okay. if i had know what the heck is the matter, i wouldn't act like that.
but, you guys know me that well, then why?

:( i refuse to be weak. hmpf. 

tmr will be better right? Father?
i guess i need to lean on You more.

I AM PISSABLE

angry is not sad!!!!!!!

 

i didn't retaliate is because i wanna continue to live my trouble-less life.

i didn't swear is because i do not want to disappoint God. 

i did not want to talk about it, its because i do not want to gossip.

i am sad because of many many stuffs but you wouldn't understand, not because of superficial matters that you think.

i kept quiet because i want to keep my cool, not because i am sad, or feel inferior.

i did not want to speak because spilled milk cannot be restored. 

i am at a different level than you, so just mind your own business and i will mind mine. 

i don't understand what i did, but i don't need you to lecture/advice me. 

even if i can't say : " i know what i am doing."

and you know what? i don't know too!

luke's a bloody cunt

hai. really loathe my bro. no wait. just someone staying in the same house as me, a jackass tenant.
just when i am praying, every single time. i refuse to be judgemental.
but just this once, he is a superficial christian that doesn't pray, fast, read the word.
!@#/%@!# faggot.
i am damn pisseeeed. sucker.
well, i am not really swearing with my lips. lol
words that proceed from my mouth are suppose to be words that edify one another. SO, i am not literally saying them out but just typing. hahaha.
kay, God, i repent but i really dislike my bro.

:(

and you know what, tmr there's school. hate it. but oh well, should not be skipping i guess. unless i had a fever. :D hope so. haha