Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Am I in love with you? Or am I in love with the feeling? Trying to find the truth, sometimes the heart is deceiving

CLOSING 2015
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.
Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?
You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.
You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.
But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister.
Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.
Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.
Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.
Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.
Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”
Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.
Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need.
This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.
Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.
Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
Paulo Coelho

Hello, blog. 别来无恙

It's been long since i blogged. It doesn't matter anymore if any "bu xiang guang de ren" chance upon my opinions and thoughts. ;)

Life's been manageable cuz i'm strong and resilient. Is healing ever gonna come? i'm not sure. 

Hope i get a new job sooon. 

Just really want peace and stability in my life. God please help to shed some light in my situation with my family and siblings. 

Thank you.

Monday, March 9, 2015

A Love like drug



i love it when my colleagues are on leave / work from home. ;)


i've so many drafts that i didn't post.. Circumstances do not allow me. 2014 just flew past like that. i can't believe the things that are happening to me. i cried so much in 2014. i failed countless of times in 2014. My heart broke. But i still choose to love. Sometimes, i'm secured and blessed. Sometimes, i feel lost, heartbroken and meaningless. My thoughts towards death are if it happens it happen. It doesn't matter much to me, but i certainly hope i've gotten insurance for my family. (serious) This place is too complexed and hard to take in. I certainly do not mind if God take me back because i'm tired. I'm tired of all this bullshit, difficult people and circumstances.

my resolution of being 40s is so near and yet so far. haiz. Will life be purrfect if we are 48kg? (because 45kg is too hard to achieve)

and i'm going to be a sister for my friend's wedding in June! Scary or what??! people around me are getting married and getting BTOs flats. But i'm so scared, i do not dare to think so far. I do not want to be tied down by HDB and end up losing money, dignity, security and.. love.

my dreams of flying is so near yet so far too. and there's the nagging feeling of growing up, 12k more to go and if i survive this damned job by december 2015. >> Lasik and Driving License.

and what's next? life is too stress to think about all these and i just want to youtube and hide away from the reality.

The people i would love to talk to do not talk to me, but the people i do not like did not take the hints that i simply do not wish to continue with the pointless conversations.

Love is filled with so much uncertainties. You can never find anyone that is flawless because we are all FLAWED. Find someone who is imperfectly perfect for you. Let this year be good and things changes to be something better. Its all or nothing, that's my love for you.

and i'm being very random and i know nobody will understand what i'm saying.

meh~


this pretty sums up my life -

Monday, November 3, 2014

Don't stop, never give up.

Shit happens again. 

No matter how well I do anything, no matter whatever efforts I put in. People will only focus on my mistakes even if they weren't grave mistakes. 

I feel so worn out. There's so many emotions inside of me that's waiting to be burst out. 

I'm so lost. But I don't want to give up. The more people say that I can't make it, I want to prove them wrong. 

For my sake. For my credibility. 

Sunday, September 14, 2014

家家有本难念的经。

Nobody will understand the struggles of each household. Everybody generally wants the best for themselves. But when each individual became selfish for their own gains, another will be forced to become selfless to balance the equation. A dysfunctional family happens when anyone crosses over the line of either being selfish or selfless. 

I am selfish. 

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Quotes about love.

"Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I love you." Erich Fromm

"Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it's a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life--love shouldn't be one of them" - Dream for An Insomniac

"Before you fall in love, make sure there is someone there to catch you." - Anon

"We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first"- George John Whyte-Melville

"The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can never end" --Benjamin Disraeli

"A man is never worth your tears. And the one who is, won't make you cry" - Unknown

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together" ~Unknown

"Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes...just be an illusion" - Javan

"Love will make you forget time, and time will make you forget love" ---Unknown

"You cannot make someone love you. You can only make yourself someone who can be loved" - Derek Gamba

"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves" - Victor Hugo

"Nothing spoils the taste of peanut butter like unrequited love" - Charlie Brown

"Do not be sad for being without someone who is happy being without you; it is not fair, is it?" -Philippos

"Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable" Wizard of Oz

"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met" - Unknown

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option" - Mark Twain

"When you meet that special someone you'll understand why it didn't work out with anyone else" Unknown

"Sometimes, you don't realize how much you care for someone, until they stop caring for you"- Anon
- I want a love that lasts, with no conditions and no expiry.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Not your typical kind of girl

Seriously. I really want to realize my dreams but how? 
Everybody is like, go and study first, go and study first. I don't want to come out into the work force with 24k worth of debts to pay for! And I don't want to live my uni life as poor as a church mourse. Instead, I want to live a luxurious life where I can eat, travel and shop whatever I want with my own hard-earned money. I'm not someone who is lucky enough to be born rich. I'm not someone who had the foundations laid up in front of me and be able to choose what I want to do with a few grands backing behind me whether I make it or break it. I'm all self-sufficient and in order to live the kinda life I want, I would need to work doubly hard. 

Don't you guys understand? 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

The scandal of Grace, You died in my place so my soul will live.

I love You Lord. 
I'm sorry for all that I've done, I'm sorry for exploiting the Grace that was give to me through your death. 
I love You. 
Take me back to the start, to my first love with You. 
I love You, sweet Jesus.

"And He said to me: My Grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in your weaknesses." - 2 Cor 12:9