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-for this cause-
Hope has found its home within me
Now that I've been found in You
Let all that I am be all You want me to be
'Cause all I want is more of You
Let Your presence fall upon us
I want to see You face to face
Let me live forever lost in Your love
'Cause all I want is more of You
All I want is more of You
I'm living for this cause
I lay down my life
Into Your hands
I'm living for the truth
The hope of the world
In You I'll stand
'Cause all I want is You
All I want is
All I want is You
Jesus

didn go for jackie pullinger-to session on sat.super tired.and didn feel like going since i had already missed the first one.ohwell.everybody's like saying i should have gone.coz it was super super good.ohwell.

i miss jyc!! went church early on sun.to study.so guai rite.haha.went to church coz i knew if i were still at home, i would still be sleeping and not doing work. allison,beatrice,kel,nina,jo,eduard,ruoting.yea.after dat we went 7 eleven for breakfast.was having trouble with my chinese dan asked aunty licheng.haha.the chi words super super chim.after dat jyc started.didn go.went out with lionel instead.haha.went to ps.we went arcade. played time crisis.i dieded la.haha.but was fun(:lionel's pro man.heh.after dat we went to kopitiam to eat..lunch.haha.dan went back church.had service.during sermon was like half sleeping and doodling on my paper and jo and kel's paper.haha.super sleepy la.ohya, and we bought lynn's present!haha.super nice!!heh.swatch watch.after service stayed around and talked and talked.haha.hmm..grace was saying on sat go east coast cycling.i wann go!!haha.hopefully i can go.everybody's asking how cum i looked stress and tired.ohwell.datz sec 4 for you.haha.after dat waited for jo dan went kopitiam to eat.yea.again.haha.i feel like a pig man.(:*oink oink*haha.supposed to go home after eating.but decided to go back church and study and ask jo for help..stayed till 7 lyk dat.and i knew i was gonna get scolding when i got home.sigh.yea.seriously, i dun wanna go home.i duno.but its juz so different.sigh.

can't wait for chinese new year!haha.its juz round the corner.and i didnt expect it to be that fast. dat day i was msging jo and couldn believe that chi new year is coming.haha.but like everybody's talking about chi new yr liao and getting yummy goodies.haha.didn realise that untill grace told me ystdae after service.haha.oops.heh. gonna get money!haha.hopefully i'll be able to keep it.or else i'll go pok..haha.chinese new year is so fun!haha.no school, plus get money plus you get to eat and slack.haha.i'll get to wear my longyi..again..so fun!!haha. chinese new yr...wo lai le!!(: *grins*

2dae had been a really really wow! day.so many things happened in just one day.really cool.

had hist first lesson. mrs chen started talking about population and why the birthrate is decreasing and one of the reasons was that there are now more homosexuals.haha.then jiaen ask me whether we wanna be togther..haha(joking one la)haha.dan we become husband and wife?haha.yea.my laogong...hahahahaha(:was practically laffing during the whole history lessson and after laugh finish, tried to look serious at mrs chen.haha.

we had eng. and ms tan started talking about erm..(better not type it here.haha)______yea.super funny and its so cool..haha.never ever had i had a teacher who talks about this kinda stuff.(:
i still cannot believe it.if mstan's dad is 80, meaning ms tan is at least 40++...hmm..haha.we were laffing la(:canoot be la.ohwell.english lessons are getting fun, but the compres are super tough.

i realised that we canoot sit more than 8 pple in a table.coz there were 8 of us.haha.i think our grp is mad la.mad plus loud man.(:
huimin-boboobs
laura-thampui
leemey-buttsy
jiaen-sowwie
xwx-xwooxie
kristi-tall
claire-choyer
me-alibaba
hahaha.yea.weird.seriously, i love 4b1!!!!haha.

dan after eng we had math..and we said "goodbye mummy(mstan)"hahaha.supersuper funny la. dan mr yeo came and we said "good afternoon daddy"hahahahahaha.my gosh.his face was red la.haha.super funny.man oh man.i will never ever forget this day and mr yeo's reaction man(:

had netball after dat.had to lead the sec ones.haha.super funny la.but i think the sec ones are cool man(: dan beat like dao me like dat.i duno la.duno what i did also.the previous time she also like dat.duno.ohwell.

after netball went dinnner at kap with kristi,xwx,yinling,clara,shawna,cherrie,minty,laura,me.haha.dan wne for the Meet the parents session.haha. actually wanted to go church buddan dad dun allow.sigh.anyway, it was fun la.after the talk, we went to talk to ms sim,mstan, mr yeo.haha.super funny.but came to realised that actually, teachers actually care alot alot for us.seriously.ms sim asked me why i always so tired.dan she told me must sleep early.ohman...dan mr yeo also asked how cum everytime during lessons i can answer qns correctly dan tests and exams always screw up...haha.yea. talked to them for super long.we were like the last to leave la.and mrs sim had to chase us out.hhaa.after dat claire,minty,kristi and i walked to the shell bustop.talked alot alot.about serious stuff(with the oranges???)haha.yea.cool. the four of us made a promise dat we would pay attention in class and do our home work.haha.

ahhh...i'm seriously gonna miss mg and the tchrs and the frens and my class...i love mg and 4b1!!!!!(:

gonna go la la land already.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYNN!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY NINA!!!

9 more months in mg.i'm gonna miss that place.miss the canteen(not the food thou),the friends,the teachers,the morning assemblys where we dun sing.miss running back to classes after recess...

practically every recess, we would have to run up to class, for fear that we might be booked. especially on thursdays, when it's mr yeo's lesson.going at this rate we can pass our pfts.(i'm talking nonsense)(:haha.

kinda cool..our groups sortof merged.jiaen,xwx,kristi,leemey,laura,minty,claire,me. man..i'm loving sch..and yet not loving school.loving the fun parts..but not the lessons +stress+hmwk+tests.haha.but basically sch's ok.(:

in this is love: not that we loved God. but that He first loved us and sent his only begotten son into the world that we might live through him. beloved, if GOd loved us so much, we also ought to love one another. No man has at any time seen God, but if we love one another, God abides in us and His love is made complete in us. 1john 4:9-12
jia hao's msg. seriously, trying and loving people is hard.got his msg ystdae and 2dae, i guess God really challenged me today. to try and love ____(guess i should not write it out).it like super hard.when we started talking about her, i felt guilty already,but still carried on.ohman..dan suddenly, jiahao's msg suddenly came to my mind. and God spoke to me. I shall try and love her 2dae in sch. *hey guys..those of you who know who i'm talking about, remember this verse and try k(:*

parents have been giving me problems.ohwell.they don't really allow me to go for cell n yc.mum scolded me.but i really want to go.duno.why wun they allow me to go...
that day wed, supposed to go church to study with joanne chan.but because my mum said that noone was free to pick up my sis, i had to go.i agreed.then when i reached home, i realised my dad was at home and he was free and could pick up my sis. and my mum knew that he was home.i was like wad the..felt really betrayed and hurt.i mean, if you dun't want me to go church and study. dan tell me straight in the face, don' need to lie.i mean, who's parents will do this kinda thing...ohwell..can't go for jackie pullinger 2mr.sigh.

man.its super late..and i'm gonna fail my chem.die...ohwells

the wk passed pretty fast..probally coz i've been super duper busy with so many things to do and been rushing here and there.ohwell.
monday after school went btp to study with beat.coz nxt day got geog test.5 cpts la.study untill lyk siao.haiz.dat day i really really felt like breaking down and dint want to go sch.was wondering where was God....
tuesday had chi lesson after school. dan went running with beat and shanin. ran to bukit batok dan ran bk.dan went to playground.there was this bunch of kids frm mexico.cool rite.haha.played and talked to them.haha.
wed went to church to study w jo chan and sue.twister fries...haha.
thurs went ngee ann poly open hse.with beat,may,viv,clara,kristi,kaiyi.saw jasmine jie and charity jie there.haah.the canteen food is cheap and good man.after dat went jo chan's hse dan we stayed up untill 4 smth to clean the hse.haha.
fri cleaned hse oso dan went for cell.cell we talked about your identity and stuffs..i duno man.

in church: i also dunno whether i'm real in church anot.i mean, yea.i'm happy and stuff..i'm really happy.but somehow i duno whether that happiness is a mask to cover up the unhappiness.i duno.i'm confused..

in school: yea.i'm happy too..being with friends and stuff. but i dun really tell my problems to sch frens. i guess people in sch percieve me as one who's super happy and have no problems and stuffs..dats not true.ohwell. i got my click and stuff..but somehow..its juz weird having to share with them my problems.coz everybody's like 'heeheehaha' dat kind. ok la.not everybody..but most of them.

at home: duno.but i really cannot talk at home.its like what ever i say, nobody listens.whatever i do, nobody bothers.either dat or whenever i say smth, i always kena hit back.it sux. my younger bro and sis bully me la.they say mean stuffs.dat realy really hurt.i duno..i want to say stuff..i want to ..i want to tell my family stuffs..i wanna share with them my day..but whenever i say smth, they always hit back..it hurts.i'm trying.trying to share.but how...slowly, i'm drifting away..not wanting to share.not wanting to talk in case i get hurt again. i know..i'm supposed to try and love them..but how.ian kor told me dat time during jyc camp to love my parents..but how..i duno...i'm quiet at home.nobody tells me anything at home.nobody bothers. trying to look for a place in my family where i actually belong.

i really dunooooo...who exactly am i? it really sux being at home..
God..where are you...have you forgotten me...why...where are you

wanted to put these up a long time ago. MYANMAR MISSION TRIP!!

just arrived. in the van on the way to hotel

in esther's room.meeting

2nd day.tany and lynn posing at campus crusade.were wrapping presents

still wrapping

still wrapping...

the street kids at peggy's hse.1st day with them

us acting..


last day..shopping

shopping

last dinner at million coins

posing with longyi

posing..haha

aiya..i lazy to add more pics..hahahaha..sigh.

feels weird coz usually i'm already in church at this time.but now no more jyc for me.i've been thinking a lot recently..okok..mayb i've always been thinking alot.yea.havent had time to write it down and really really process my thoughts.seriously, i need time.been trying to find time to do stuffs. been hearing God say STOP!! but ignored it. i duno.there's so many stuffs to do.i'm like chionging ahead w out God. i know i have to stop..but how.things pass so fast.i wanna spend time with God, I wanna talk to him again.but i duno how to start it going again.

problems are starting to surface.and i really duno what to do and where to go. I'm like a lost sheep, trying to find my way out of the forest. its all dark and scary.not knowing where to go and what else i'll meet up with. I feel like running,running away from everything. DADDY, where are you...i keep searching, searching, trying to find a light source, trying to find my way out..i thought God's always beside me, but now he seems so far, so distant...i'm lost.everything's dark.

parents starting to stress me out about o levels.keep telling me to study.keep telling me to work hard.i noe i hafto work hard. i know all that. i am.i'm working hard.i'm studying. each day you nag at me.i'm already so tired out after sch, reaching home so late. you nag.nag and nag.why.you scold me for no apparent reason. asking why i come home so late.i got sch.then sometimes i'm studying with me friends.studying.

it sucks when your siblings be nice to you only when they need help.other times, they laught at me, disturb me.it sucks. i mean its like i'm older then them. when they need me to do stuff, they are so nice to me. after that, they disturb me, say mean stuffs.it hurts. the people i love most. i duno how to face them already. duno how to love them, duno how to talk to them. whatever i say, and if i say wrongly, my bro would say im stupid.coz he knows the answer.i know..i'm not as smart as him, not as observent as him.but it sucks. i dare not say anything. in case i get hurt again.coz it really really hurts.how to love them...how to love my parents...how to love my family...

hoping nxt wk would be better...

i just realised dat my previous post is supposed to be 'dec' not 'nov'..hahaha.ohwell.yea.school started liao.so fast.haha.sch's ok la i guess.not dat bad.buddan had to rush up all my hols hmwk.hahaha.juz finished eng.do untill can die.

i feel lyk blogging..yet i dont.haha.ohwell.shall do a proper update some other time.