A New Chapter..

I know I know hardly anyone I know blogs anymore! But don't you always wonder what happened in an unfinished book or movie ....like the continuing sega which we call life in this instance. Its been a few years, years of growth, heartache, joy, tears, prayers, callings, milestones achievements and there's the end of the world as we know it pandemic which changed so much and hopefully is behind us because it caused more grief for so many physically, emotionally, mentally and so much more!   

Well all these years later two kids have grown up graduated and spread their wings K is serving a LDS mission he began durning covid called to the Georgia Atlanta North Mission Nov 18th 2020 Reassigned to the Canada Montreal Mission and got to his original call in Georgia finally at the end of April he now has three months left. 

I firmly believe serving and surviving in a covid mission time should be worth great rewards in heaven for all they have been through lockdowns, restrictions a different way of finding and teaching the gospel and some never getting to their original calls. But through it all I could be wrong, but great lessons in resilience, adapting, finding and doing all they can has provided a stronger love of the people and places they serve and in self discipline, study and companionships. Its been so amazing to watch Elder Bevans learn grow and gain more empathy love and a stronger testimony as much as we miss him he's right where he's meant to be but we can't wait to see him again!! 

Miss L kinda grew up too graduated this past year and moved out for the summer to work at a national park and is loving it!  She will be done in the fall and will have to find a new job. But she wants to work towards a mission for next august, but it'll be fun to see where her adventures take her. Whatever she does she does well. She is a gem, fun, faithful, kind ....yet still that wonderful, quirky, sarcastic girl we love even more. She is such a rock and inspiration to so many, especially me, she inspires daily.  She loves people and helps people, is quick to forgive and makes everything better when she's around.... except when she's peopled out;) then she loves to sleep;) But she really has blossomed (that sounds cliche but she has!) Covid was rough for her but we all made it out alive not having all the things you're used to and missing out on pretty much all of high schools important fun things was hard. At the end of grade 12 she got to go to her first dances and take tests;) and do normal things once again.  They got to do there show choir show and she loved every minute of it! She's had a great group of friends that all got each other through the lockdowns and restrictions. Which were far more damaging to our youth and young adults than anyone is willing to admit I think. But we see the results of it everywhere now. She is excited living her own life and not far enough away that we don't get to see her every now and again! She turned 18!! last week so hard to believe I have an 18 and 20 year old now!

Mr. M my little wild child the one who was wild when he was young yep he grew up ....you can feel sorry for me now;) So that cute little terror with nine lives.... still lives though I think he's lucky he's made his16 lives now.  He is every bit as wild, impulsive, inquistive, independent, a disappearing act etc etc.... add a few other things yep pray for us. He is going into grade 11 looks like a man, thinks he is one is hard to pin down thinks he should be able to choose for himself and do what he wants when he wants! He's had some struggles and life has not been easy for him or us the past couple of years either but hopefully we are all moving forward in a good direction never to go back . He has Adhd, like a lot of people these days.... Its a little out of my circle you know the one where you do this.... this will happen ....you do this.... earn this.... listen... we are all happy.... but no ....not quite but we are working through it finding a new approach everyday trying to understand how an adhd brain works ...winning somedays, losing others. But he works hard at the ranch gets up early works all day long in the summers, loves football, his phone and keeping busy from one thing to another. He's taught us many lessons outside our box of our understanding. But life would not be the same without him he always keeps us on our toes makes us laugh & cry but we carry on!! 

AND K2 where do I start he is 13!! How is that even possible I know!! and going into grade 8 this boy loves life and people. He is sensitive, strong, caring and kind.  He has a strong knowledge of good, and empathy for those that struggle and choose otherwise. He is funny and smart and loves being home but loves to be with friends.....And still loves his mama:) He plays a lot of instruments from percussion to piano he loves samba a marching band he's in near the end of school and summer and always loves learning new things from science to facts, swimming and tennis and his switch too {which I hate and could burn with the xbox ha ha} But they live on and come out occasionally:) I can't even believe that time has gone by so fast! K2 misses his two oldest siblings more than anything and can't wait for K to get back! We are so thankful for k2 he is a blessing!

My life has changed so much the kids get older and pretend they don't need us as much yet need us even more. Then the first two graduate and it changes things.... I miss my littles when things were much easier! But I love seeing the good they are doing. Its just weird to go on family vacations with two kids and most of the time its just k2 a lot hanging out with me and D:) But he's a good sport! In feb 2021 I started part time at the clinic in town as receptionist which I have loved, but now do a little of both mostly in the back as a Dr.'s assistant or MOA as its called .....most just think I'm a nurse though I am not, but I'll take it. I always wanted to be one ha ha.  But sometimes I feel a little guilty working but this day and age everything is going up and honestly its nice to get to and feel appreciated, and feel like I matter.  A lot of times everything we do at home is so redundant and nobody notices or appreciates anything we do. Feels like the kids all just want something or need something which is the highest priority but its nice to feel productive and nice to have a work family I love too! Its been good for us adapting and growing together and seeing what works. Though summer is really hard because k2 is by himself a lot but really he loves planning his days and scheduling things he's the best! I feel like the older I get the more the extra things don't matter what matters most is right here, right now and doing what is best for our family and doing the best we can. Nobody is perfect, no family is perfect we all have something we are all working, learning, growing together in and through things and that's pretty much the extent of our past few years. Teenagers are not easy but we love them and the new adventures each one brings to the table. 

We've had a few heartaches at the top being that my sister Holli passed away last Good Friday 2021 from cancer and only early 40's and left 6 kids.  Our hearts were/are broken and not a day goes by that we don't miss her and think of her. Or have some much gratitude that on our worst days we are blessed to still be here and healthy. There are so many why's in life, but one thing through all these trials I've/we've grown closer to our Savior and his peace & love and through other people have felt that love when we needed it most. Life is hard to understand on the best of days, but I can't imagine how we would survive without the knowledge of a Savior who loves us, atoned for us and knew there would be hard days but has a plan for each of us. This life is a test and we sure feel that lately I think every one of us. But for me the tests the trials have brought me so much closer to my Heavenly Father and have built my faith, my testimony and my knowledge that he Hears our hearts and our tears through which have gained empathy for those that silently and knowingly struggle each day through hardship. We don't walk alone if we see the needs of others and act on it. 

....And Mr. D is as busy as ever at work, and in his calling in our new stake presidency, dividing his time between all the things that matter is something he is really good at....Or is getting better at he's a busy busy man.  This summer he took the boys a different times on his work trips and they all made new memories and had fun. L  and I are taking a trip in October and looking forward to that!  Life is always easier if we're on the same page and work through things together, communicate,
listen and help each other.  I'm so thankful I have this guy by my side because I know I couldn't do it without him. 

Good Advice right here: 

"Be Peaceful. Believe in God and yourself. 

You are doing better than you think you are." 

-Jeffrey R Holland. 

I need to read that everyday!  So after all this time of being blogless, it feels good to catch up and see progress and time.... get some things out and one day we'll all look back on our lives the good and bad parts and hopefully know we are all trying our best. 

It truly is all about our focus and our attitude with what we do we are given. 

It's been awhile.....

It's October not sure how that happened and yet time marches on ....no matter the time, months & years it just all keeps ticking! 

How fast time flies for example how k is turing 18!! in a few months! Or that I have three teenagers now or how life gets all twisted upside down one day, then you deal with it and the next one comes along and we deal with it.  

We're making it through each one day at a time. 

It's super weird to get older and watch young mothers with little ones and think on one hand glad that's done.... and on the other oh I wish I could go back to my littles. When life was full of easy answers rocking, holding, soothing, wiping tears, feeding, changing diapers all easy solutions. Now they are a little bit more emotional, more life-changing choices and a little harder to solve. 

But there is a time and season for everything. This season I'm more focused on being here when they need me and keeping up with them, waiting up for them worrying about them.... have I taught them enough? Are they ready to go out into the world and thrive:)  They sometimes act like they don't want me around .....yet they need me more than ever. Some days life just brings situations to the forefront and we muddle our way through each one hoping we all survive and learn from our mistakes and take the lessons to learn from them. We rejoice in the moments that bring us closer together..... and cry at the ones that hurt us, or our children in ways we can't easily fix. 

These are the moments I miss my littles where the problems were so much easier to fix, and where the tears and pain easily were forgotten. I feel so very blessed with my children they are amazing in every way and in everything they put their minds to.  They are smart, happy and well adjusted and for the most part stand firm in all they do, yes, they do dumb teenager things as we all did, but none of us are perfect and all of us are learning and growing together in this crazy world!

We've had a few fun trips D and I went on a cruise in February it was so nice to get away together. It's so important to do that to remember who you are together, so when the kids leave home you still have each other and know each other and like each other still;)

Our summer was full of a trip to SLC for seminar for D's work we took K2 with us and showed him the sights and he spent some time with cousins it was so fun or both of us, birthdays July 1st fun, swim lessons, work, and camps for the kids and two trips to Montana to the lake with family it was a busy summer but we loved it! 

We've also had quite the year D's dad had a major stroke in March and survived in miraculous ways and we are so beyond blessed to still have him here with us.  We realize every day the miracles we have been apart of to see how far he has come. D's mom had hip surgery and is on her way to knee surgery soon #idontwanttogetolder. We are so blessed to have both of them in our lives! There journey this year has brought all of us closer together in ways that are hard to describe but just pulling together and doing what needs to be done has strengthened all of us.  The way families should be. 

We also witnessed on a family hike last month a man falling 30ft off a waterfall to what should have been his death.... and happened to be there at the right time and place and witnessed many miracles that day also.  God put others in the path at the right time to be there to help a Dr, a nurse, Members of our faith and others to pray and help the children deal with what they too had witnessed. It is amazing that the Lord can save and give miracles for some if it's his plan.  In August my little sister was also diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer Melanoma in her intestines a very rare cancer she is only 40 and has 6 young children, three of whom are a sibling trio of which they were blessed to adopt last year. My heart breaks for her and her family and likewise, I hope and pray for miracles for her too! 

You just never know what's ahead.

We've had exciting things too D ran his first 1/2 marathon trained hard and killed it!  We got away with friends for the weekend last month to SLC, Utah to the Big Cottonwood marathon where his sister Alley also ran and accomplished another full. D killed the half in 1:42 at 7:45/pace. I am still so stinkin proud of him and his goal and doing it and achieving it. It was actually a very emotional feeling watching the runners of the 1/2 and full come in achieving goals and tears streaming it was an incredible experience. {Not enough for me to run one haha but all the power to those that do them and train so hard to achieve their goals it really is amazing to watch!}

The kids started school strong in grades 12/10/8/5 so so insane that I am this old that they are this old. 

I started out the school year temp working in the office at our high school for three weeks and loved it. There's something about keeping busy and feeling useful and having a purpose it's nice to be needed.  Sometimes with teenagers, that's hard. But I felt closer to my teenagers seeing them there every day too. 

I can't even handle thinking of K graduating & leaving on a mission or school or whatever he chooses... it makes me cry. I literally feel like he was just placed in my arms and heart this handsome baby boy and now he's a 6'7 man how?? He's a joy! He always has been, of course, he's your typical teenage boy full of life, mischief and a good laugh. I Want to smack him half the time and hold him like a little boy the next haha. He's a good kid. Friends are super important and music and his phone right now but working hard and playing hard are too! {and growing his hair out to drive me crazy is pretty important to him right now too;)

L whos becoming a beautiful, strong young woman full of dreams, talents and deep-rooted faith in all the things that matter. She's establishing goals and dreams in all the things she wants for her future. She's a loving, listening & understanding friend who hurts with others and tries her best to help them. She's strong and independent & feisty as ever. But seriously can't imagine life without her she is perfectly her and we love her!

Then the boy who's 13 now... taller than me and sounds like a man too. Who is in the thick of jr high and figuring things out and where he fits in, stands and what he wants and he's doing a pretty good job of it! He loves people and is always serving others, he's one of the most enduring, giving boys I've probably ever met. Exasperating at times and trying at others but a hard worker and willing to serve anytime. He needs GPS to find him, cause he still lives a roaming life still seriously never know where the boy is. He spent his summer swimming canals and going shirtless and is developing his own "M personality" full of likes and dislikes, teasing, pestering but in reality, he's my best helper who gets things done and will do it:) He's a true handsome gem.

Then comes the caboose sweet k2 the one who still loves me unconditionally who still slips his little hand in mine, still cuddles up and reads a book with me, and loves to talk about anything and everything. He's full of insight, wisdom, and perspective beyond his age.  He's loving, kind and considerate always of other's feelings and the way they make him feel. He's so sweet and I'd take 10 of him! I really never want him to grow up and I want him innocent forever because he is such a peacemaker and heart healer he knows just what to say right when your feeling it♥

I find somedays wondering where life is taking us as the days go by and we get older and our kids get older friends and parties become less important as do other's opinions and judgments of us.  I realize more that I have my place and it's right here building this foundation so my children hopefully grow up strong and happy and ready to face life's fires with strong testimonies of faith through the examples in their lives growing up. I'm happy with our life we made I have good friends and people that know me better than me sometimes. I pray that despite life's trials we all have them that we will all work through them and come out stronger on every aspect because thats what it's all about. 

Life is good we have nothing to complain about. I  think the boring mundane day to day is great because it's stable. It's a happy & healthy life and we have each other to have our backs to lean on each other and to learn from each other. I really wouldn't trade it for anything or have it any other way.

The home is the first and most effective place for children to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self-control; the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home."
David O. McKay