everything in
it's right place

it's not even 2 hours into monday and i'm having a bad start already.

i can't sleep, probably because i just drank an entire cup of coffee. i feel tired, but no i can't sleep. i want to play my guitar, but no, i don't have one with me right now. that's because my housemate is borrowing all my stuff. hey, it's only borrowing if you actually return it back. i feel like a tight ass for being annoyed about it, but hey i brought all this stuff here for a reason and it's not to be a charity to everyone. and it's sooooooo annoying when i'm in a bad mood because i can't do stuff that makes me feel better when i'm in a bad mood.

ARGH

to make it worse, the only person that makes me feel happier nowadays 1600km away.

What a packed day. Classes beginning at 8am till 5pm. Two practicals in the morning, microbiology where we did 16 streak staining and histology where we looked at two microscope slides. Seemed so primitive compared to undergrad biomedical science!

Anyway those two pracs took up the entire morning - unfortunately not useful at all. In the afternoon I had a class called clinical communication skills over at Royal Brisbane Women's and Children's Hospital, so I had to weave my way through the university grounds to a new bus stop which I had never been to before. Walked through a boardwalk park surrounded by lakes and fountains - seemed more like the botanic gardens than uni! Caught the bus just in time and met one of my classmates, Stef from Canada. Luckily I met a new friend... We got lost again later on the way home so the company made it slightly less frustrating! Haha.

Anyway best news of the day is that I'm changing rooms to one with air conditioning now. YAY!

As I believe that the week starts on Sunday, today officially marks the end of week 1 of school. The course itself feels so different to Biomed in Unimelb, the number of orientation activities is really overwhelming.


First day of school began with a longgg series of introductory lectures (I think this is standard) to administrative staff and responsibilities of being a medical practitioner (nope, this one is new to me). The lecture timings are also not as structured, gone are the 50 minute time slots where the lecturer would rush through the entire lecture. Everybody in first year does the same subjects, in fact we can't even choose, so there are no lecture clashes to disrupt timetables.

This carried on for the next two days, more introductions to anatomy, histology, physiology. There is a very strong emphasis on clinical skills, so subjects like bedside manner and empathetic skills are introduced as well. According to Dad, NUS and Duke-NUS in Singapore don't teach this. Looking at the manners of most Singaporeans, I think they should! Anyway I found these lectures the most interesting out of the whole lot, haha just the emphasis on these skills itself made it interesting. In biomed we had ZERO interaction skills whatsoever, which is my major gripe with doing research.

Finished off the week with a UQMS (UQ med society) exhibition after lectures on Friday afternoon. Free memberships for med student indemnity insurance all over the place, as well as other freebies. I noticed it immediately as a bullshit marketing plan, but hey they do provide free service for 4 + 2 years (med school and then some) so I guess it is really worthwhile. Got so many safeway-like cloth bags and TONS of pens and postit pads.


In the evening we had our UQMS Welcome Back Keg. It was more like a massive social with just free flow of alco (beer and goon). Drank about 8 cups worth - I impressed myself with my tolerance! I think it has gone down slightly though due to my alco abstinence lately... haha. This is also when I realised my complete inability to remember names, yesterday I met Amy in a lecture and forgot her name 10 secs later. Only when she went "HI CHRIS!" at the keg did I remember... that's terrible! My friends say they force themselves to repeat the persons name in a convo 5mins after they've met that person, so as to keep thinking about it. Gotta try that...

First week of med school - lecturers always refer to it as 'a rollercoaster of activity and emotion'. Ya whatever la. Attribute it to my laid back-ness, I see it as just another week in school albeit the very new environments. But as everyday passes I miss my bebe, maybe not more and more but still just as much as I did from the first day I left. Thanks to the makers of Skype, that program is a lifesaver. Until then I've only got BBB to grab on to at night...

i can't believe i just studied for 6 hours
on the 4th day of school

nooo, there goes social life. bye.

new day of school
in a new course
in a new state
with all the new friends
in a new college

i really miss the old days

so i woke up this afternoon with such a terrible dream: that my girlfriend and i had been having a rough time in our relationship and we had been quarrelling on and on. that day was to be our last outing together, at least that was the idea in my head as i was getting dressed. don't really know the reason behind our quarrels nor why it was to be the last day, i must've forgotten about it as i woke up.

so i sat in my room taking my time to get dressed, as i was waiting for my mum to come back home because i needed the car. i was supposed to pick my girlfriend up at 7pm and it was already approaching 6pm. i waited, and waited but mum always seemed to be stuck at some traffic light somewhere out there. waiting, 6.30pm, 7pm, 7.30pm and no show.

(the thought of taking a taxi or public transport didn't pop in my mind, don't ask why it was just a dream. anyway i know that my other half wouldn't take public transport anyway; she is a princess.)

sweat beads formed on my skin and my heart pounded, "i'm going to be so late to pick her up, she is going to hate me for life" i thought. at 8pm the front gate opened, and mum parked the car together with dad. they came out of the car and swapped seats; it was not unusual for my dad to always drive anyhow. and then he reveresed the car out back on to the road.

i ran out, already desperate to leave this house "you promised to lend me the car for the evening!" i said.

"oh dad hasn't eaten yet, so we are going out to buy dinner" she replied.

"why not use dad's own car? it's been on the porch all day!" i shot back (also another unexplainable part of my dream - it just seemed that i could only drive my mum's honda jazz and not the nissan sylpy.)

dad said "oh ok, sure i'll take the other car". it was already 8.30pm.

the red car reveresed, hitting the large green rubbish bins, toppling and pushing them on to the sidewalk and into the drain. the car followed slowly after, the dented, red bumper hanging over the edge. mum and dad got out of the car, and my heart just sank knowing that i would never see Her again. i punched the tree trunk outside my house (there is no tree trunk outside my house), punched the wooden main door on the way in, punched the living room wall, punched my bedroom door, the mirror, the cupboards. i miss you so much and i never want to see you leave. i know you will hate me and forget me soon, but please know it was never my intention to let you go.

9pm. i sat in the corner, with my arms on my knees and my head in my hands.

and then i woke up, at 6pm, hit by the sad reality of it all.

As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say
The breath goes now, and some say, No;

So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move;
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.

Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears,
Men reckon what it did and meant;
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers' love
(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
The thing which elemented it.

But we, by a love so much refined,
That our selves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to airy thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.

And though it in the centre sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th' other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.