Tootles, enough small talk

I logged on, I had a blog post running through my head all day.  I saw Post Secrets under my blog role and forgot all about what wouldn't leave my head all day- just like that- gone!  Ugh.

Right...so , now what?  Pick at our fingernails, make small talk?

How about an update?

It's been a shit ass winter and I'm ready for it to be done, but it is not , nor is it going to be anytime soon.  The extended forecast for next week shows temps all below freezing.  Ish!  This will be the first time that we go to our sport show (that runs the first full weekend of April) that there will be snow on the ground, or at least this much snow.  It stormed once on that weekend (which sucked for sales) but the snow has always been gone before we have to set up.

A guy did come into work and remind us that he cross country skiied every day in April last year......yeah - that's right....I forgot....Sigh....

Lymes symptoms let up for a few days and it was so awesome to be ME again.  Energetic, bubbly me....oh I sure do like that person!  It showed me how miserable I truly have been lately but it also allowed me to absolutely appreciate those days that I wasn't feeling like warmed up death.

I have a new tatt idea, or actually an add on to my back tatt.  I am excited but need to save some $ since I gave my last tatt savings to my niece when she was here to get a tatt.

I need to lose 10 lbs, but find it near impossible with how shitty I feel and how cold out it is.  ummm....

I got nothing. really.  Thus concludes our small talk, this is where I make a reason to escape the conversation and we hug.  Right...so.... tootles!  (I never would actually say tootles btw.  I am more a 'later' sort of person)

Sherlock

The problem with having such a logical brain and the ability 'to figure people out', and a love of human behavior psychology is that some things are very obvious to me that might not be to the average person.  I can figure out why people are doing what they are doing, usually before they know why.....I can think things through and pick up on clues and have the ability to process and put the story together.

Now, this is a problem because usually people don't like to hear 'the story'. They don't like to understand WHY they are doing something or what the truth is. A person doesn't want to believe what really is going on.  You don't want to know that it is really your wife who is causing the problem by digging in or you don't want to know that you keep avoiding your work because you get attention  from not and you actually enjoy the stress that comes from it, etc.......

My point?  I don't have one.  Just another observation.  I guess I am good at observing and others aren't good about seeing through their own disillusion.

What I really want to say on FB today

Go ahead, link this , share this, bring notice to this.....

Because THIS is what I really want to say on FakeBook today but know that I don't want to deal with the bullshit that will follow....I guess that makes me as much of the problem as anyone else.

Just because you don't like Barbie for your child doesn't mean I can't give it to mine.  You think fit and skinny makes for a woman who isn't real since apparently 'real woman have curves', you think that make up is the bane to woman-kind and maybe I truly love mascara, you are certain that democrat or republic or conservative or liberal is the only way to go and maybe I find ground and good points in all..... 

WHY oh why do we all have to be SO certain that OUR idea is the right idea?  Why do we have to boost and assert and put it out there to the point of offending those that don't agree and then in turn call them out on it because they disagreed with us? with you?  Since when can't we have our own ideas and since when can't people understand that not every bird sings the same song? (thank goodness!!!) 

I would ask that you think of this the next time you are so certain of something here on FB or in real life.  Maybe I think there is an obesity problem being masked as a 'love your body' campaign, maybe I think people should earn their keep if they are physically capable of doing so.  Maybe I can see both sides of the abortion debate....etc.  Just maybe your "opinions" are hurting people's feelings and they are too nice to say anything to you or tired of having it turned back around on them

It's ok if I raise my boys and girl knowing how to properly handle a weapon and that we hunt and fish and use bows and arrows for hunting and recreation and that we have more camo then 'nice clothes' and in turn it is ok that your kid knows how to tie sailor knots and drive a sailboat and wears khakis and boat shoes vs boots.....  we need all types in this world and I often tire of FB because I tire of people.

You know you don't agree with me on all points, I don't want you to.  Any friend that I had that just said 'ok' was not for me and they are no longer around- on purpose.  I like friends that are different from me and that can challenge the way I think.  I either change my ideas, a little or a lot, or I find that I am indeed grounded in what I believe.  But I don't want to throw my own truths out there so hard that I can't see through to the other side. You know?

Fingers crossed

Fingers crossed, I think I am on the mend.  I also hope that maybe, just maybe the 'cold' I had (which was really just extreme body aches, a fever, and THEN chest congestion was really a Lymes symptom...and/or... it was the cold virus that I was told I had in my bladder leaving my system.

WHAT? you say.... a cold virus in your bladder?  pffttt....unlikely.  Or is it?  Modern medicine is so far behind they think they are first.....sigh

While getting the scans done for Lymes at this specialist I mentioned what I thought was a reoccurring UTI.  she pushed a few buttons and the scan switched over to a different category. She immediately told me the side I was referring to although I never mentioned it (Yeah,yeah...50% chance of guessing what side the problem was on.  I understand that ) and she then set to scanning to figure out the REAL problem.  According to her I have a cold virus in my bladder and I probably have for years.  She asked a couple more questions and then we were both convinced.  She altered my homeopathic drops to account for this as well and I have slowly been getting rid of this nasty thing.

My kidney no longer hurts and my ureter does not feel like it ablaze inside my body and now I only feel slight pressure in my bladder (tmi???)  I will stop with the description there, but the point is that I would have just gone to the clinic. I would have done labs.  They would have told me I had E Coli in my sample. They would have given me antibiotics for 7-10 days and then the symptoms would have disappeared but only to return again shortly there after (about 3-4 times a year).  So my hope is that the cold I had was the cold coming out of my system.  Imagine, being done with what I thought were UTI's .  THAT would be amazing!!!!

~~__~~__~~__~~__~~__~~__~~__~~

Now, as far as the Lymes.  I am also hoping that the symptoms lighten up. My vision has already improved as has my shaky hand.  Things that I always just blew off as 'always been the way I am' and never remembering when any of it really began but now remembering what it is like not to have those problems.

I am obsessed with playing Ruzzle on my tablet as a way to keep my brain thinking. Lymes really messes with your memory.  I honestly haven't been able to remember much for long in over a decade.  I thought it was because my life was flying by now that I had kids.  etc...... soo oo oo many things that I just chalked up and gave excuses for, have been symptoms of Lymes.  Gahhhh, won't it be amazing to not be so messed up?

Here's hoping

Picture caption:
See that ity bitty tiny little speck of a dot of a piece of shit tick?  yupppp....that is how small they can be, and I swear I've picked smaller off my dog.... this my friends is why you don't always see the ticks  :(
I did however see the tick, I even saved it.  I taped it in a baggie to the inside of the bathroom closet door and it remained there for a year or more.  I had heard they could test the tick.  It didn't seem like I ever needed to.... little did I know.

P.S.  I probably never needed heart surgery, I needed to fix my Lymes. Worse? I took a damn Lymes test at the clinic before my surgery to be sure because I KNEW that one of the symptoms was heart arrhythmia.  Sigh....oh well, shoulda coulda...tried.