Hurt or be hurt- is that the game?

I destroy myself. I do.

I keep things in my head, I work them around and rework them to the point of craziness. I then react to what is in my head vs the reality that is. I have been called passive aggressive, I think in reality it is hurt or confusion or loneliness coming out in true Midwesterner style (can't admit the true feelings).

When I finally jump on something and nip it in the bud I get kicked down anyway. Can't seem to win.
example: tonight I asked my mom not to call me Jules on FB. It is what my very closest friends call me and a nickname really. One I prefer she not use. I did this via p.m and she of course reacted, snapped really.  She said I was petty and hurtful.

So what do I do? Live with things in my head or get this reaction? Hurt others or be hurt. Ugh.

HNT Reunion-Finding a New Normal

HNT ended right as my life changed.
I started working after 11 yrs at home.
My life turned to work, running kids, home, chores and bed.
It is stifling me I have to say.
People and things in my life have shifted again as well
& GNO is no longer a regular thing
plus the weather is cold.

I am working on finding a new kind of normal, a new happy
I always come out on the top, I will again.
For now I find pleasures in the little things....like my little plot of land and all it holds.

I hope you are all well or working on being so.
Happy HNT

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end
may also be only the beginning.
~Ivy Baker Priest

Talkin, true blue, out in the woods, down home, country girl.

You will find the final shot at OHNT

HNT eve

Don't forget that tomorrow is a HNT reunion. 

Kind of hard to get away during school break to snap any kind of photos.

 But an idea struck me as I was doing chores.

Baby It's Cold Outside

you have it or you don't

Sexy is a state of mind. Really. The sexier you feel the more you dress, act, and look sexy. If you aren't "there" it quickly falls off. You either have it or you don't. Rarely can someone be sexy without knowing it. You can be good looking or wear clothing that is on the sexier side but the whole "sexy" thing is a vibe, a feeling, something you give off. Actions, clothing, the look in your eye.....it all goes together.

I lost it...... it's gone. 

Vaca....kinda

Done with work. Made it through- hang over and all (that's another story)
Now my time is my own.....or not.
I have to start getting ready for family to arrive Saturday night/ Sunday.

I think if everyone will just leave me alone, I will have NO problems!  In fact my hubby could take my family out of town and come back in time for company and I would do better (no one to come behind me and mess things up, noone who needed me to stop every 5 minutes for something)

I am going to seriously try to keep the panic and anxiety (and OCD) down (no cleaning drawers or lining washclothes up to face all the same way) I will be fine.

Alright, but first, sleep

T minus..... X hours

I work tomorrow and then I am off until the 2nd of January.....as long as the world doesn't end on Friday. If it does I will go down grocery shopping and cleaning- what a sucky way to die!  Alright, trying to keep the stress down of having family here on Sunday. *fingers crossed

meh....that's all...sometimes it is just....meh

I think I finished Christmas shopping. I got enough to fill the stockings, or at least fill them enough.  I am 1/2 done with cards and I have a few things left to make and send to the out of town friends. The tree is up and the Christmas music has been playing. We have even been to a few get togethers already.....But I am still not feeling it.

I think it's an adult thing. Too bad.

random pic I pulled from my files

Ahhhh shucks, Look what I found!

Going through my email and trying to empty out 

some of the 100+ pictures I have sent from my phone to my email

to deal with later
(which seems to be never)

I found a couple of keepers!

Like these pics

They were from our trip last year

Black Dress Night

It's FB, what more do you expect...right?

Seriously, I should just stay off FB some days! Some days I get argumentative, I get frustrated with how 'surface' we have become. People are stupid Jules, just remember that. Just stick to the surface. Stop.....just stop.  I need to get out more maybe? ....and I don't mean to work and running the kids and the grocer....ugh!!!!

You don't have a robe, you didn't go to school forever, you are NOT a judge.....

Listened to a great talk about judging people tonight....rather NOT judging them. I have to say of all the things I have heard in a church in my life, tonight's "testimony" was the best I've heard. I've given up judging people most times. I know too much now to know outward appearances and the face we let other's see is never right on. So......short version ------> DON'T JUDGE OTHERS

pic by BFD

 No Parking
 Keep Moving
Idleness will get you nowhere!!!!!! 
Move along, don't stop. 
Work, run, work some more.

 Until.......the engine starts to make some funny noises and then clunks and then stalls out at stop signs until she completely and totally won't start one morning.

That morning is tomorrow and that vehicle is me.

I am done. Tired. Overworked and overrun.  I am taking a few hours off. I need to. Or I'll end up in the human body shop- which we all know is never cheap, or timely!

When in doubt, post a picture

Or at least that is what I was told when I said I didn't know what to post about tonight.

Here it is. I miss Summer. I miss the sun, I miss the heat, I miss the water, I miss the long days, I miss sundresses, I miss Summer

Sweater Weather

'tis the season for warm fuzzy sweaters 

(and since our house is always very warm....little else)

Send me a pic.....she said. More boob she said

Soooo, yeah, NBD. Just what "he" is serving me for breakfast the text said
(with a picture of fresh fruit and mimosa and cheese).

I return a picture of my (now) cold coffee and my very very dry granola.
 I tell her I am late to work and this is all I got.

On the way to work I get another text that says something along the lines of ....
send us a pic, make sure it includes boobs.

Arrive at work, sneak into the back at first opportunity and snap this:

 

I send it off  shaking my head.  What reply did I get?
"  More boob!  "

Some people!  ;)

(needless to say, work got busy and no more pics were taken )

Photo bombed

I was photo bombed by my dog. Good thing she is so dang cute!

This can hardly be a blog worth reading anymore

Plan for today?
Get Christmas tree
Clean up the house (enough)
Finish folding the laundry
Put away laundry
Get Christmas decorations out
Start decorating.


Funny!   I started this post to complain about how much I didn't get done today...but looking at the list I just compiled, the only thing undone is the very last thing on the list.  I feel better.

Never Mind,
Nigh night

Photo Therapy

Jon knows just when I can no longer take "it" and he calls for an intervention of sorts...
plainly put---> PHOTO THERAPY
we walk or drive around and shoot photos of what we see or we take pics of me....something involving photography. It is a good time, the "session" goes from bitching, problem telling (a lot of patient listening by Jon), to me beating him a bit- a little tension release I guess-, to laughing by the end. It is always salve for the daily ailments of life.  Here are a couple of shots from the last 'back alley photo walk' we did. 

This is Jon.

The clicks are just bonuses- shot on my own for FB profile pics