yes, that is all it takes

Sometimes all it takes is one exchange of words and everything is ok again. a quick little chat and the world seems right. funny how that works.
yes......

There is good, one just forgets to mention it

1)I got my new tatt....my rendition of a compass. It doesn't face North, hell it doesn't even have a N or E or S or W written on it. It involves a bird and a tree, and loopy design and filigree, as to "go with" my other tatts. I will post a pic when it heals up

2) I looked in the mirror today and thought- wow, I don't look half bad!

3) The house got cleaned this weekend and looks great. Thank you four day weekend. I felt comfortable for the first time in a  long time waking up this morning.  Now if only it would stay.

4) There is another long school weekend coming up. Hunting shack this time.

5) Football is wrapping up!  (basketball has a meeting tomorrow morn already- blah)

6) I am pretty on top of things right now.

See....... it's not all bad all the time.  I guess I just need a place to vent.

Sometimes I get it right....or at least not terribly wrong

no clicks

It's ok, I'm ok

I find myself tearing up. But honestly there is nothing wrong with me. Everyone tried to bring me down today. Noone succeeded.  I had the kids crying and whining and fighting this morning, the massage therapist at work getting snippy with me over using my computer (which she did in the middle of a transaction with a patient), my oldest getting snippy with me on the phone over a misunderstanding when to pick him up after practice, my youngest crying so very hard after his fball game because he was so very tired, my husband returning a poopy message after I texted "I miss you" and then the t.v. guy not coming to fix the box when I hurried home to be here by 6:30.  None of this was successful in bringing me down. 

But I truly believe I am just tired out. I came home from work with the intention of working on the laundry but I laid down for just a second to rest and woke up 2 hrs later when my youngest got off the bus. I could fall right back asleep right now.  My throat hurts, my feet hurt and I am sore. 

But the yard and outside look awesome and it is so nice to drive up here and not be stressed I watched my youngest make some awesome moves in his lil fball game (including tackling a boy 20 lbs heavier than he is- my boy is the lightest weight boy on the team...hell my kids are the lightest weight period) and got to hear about my oldest making a TD and a pick in his scrimmage (I missed it thinking he just had practice) . 

I am going to quick clean up the kitchen enough to survive tomorrow morn since I work at 7ish and to get the clothes out of the washer and then I am heading to bed to read.  http://www.edgarsawtelle.com/

Feeling better

I had a very productive weekend.  I got almost everything that I wanted to get done....done.  The only things I did not finish had question marks behind them on my to-do list.  If I get them done, great...if not...oh well.  (wash windows and prune raspberry bushes) there are a few things left for hubby to do ...but all in all I feel far better about things at the end of this weekend then I did last weekend.

My feet hurt. Wish I would have put the beer in the fridge earlier. It is not cold yet.

All of this work done and I made great lunch/suppers both days. Tonight- home made beef soup with homemade bread and cheese....mmmm.

and that is why I am tired

It was nice today. Really nice. About 52 degrees!
I got the entire yard mulched. The leaves had been over ankle deep. It took me almost all day long to do so.
The tree guys came today. They cut the damaged trees from the July storm, the trees that we couldn't get w/o risking our lives.  Then they ground over 25 stumps around our yard. Not all were from this year. Some have sat to almost the point of rotting by themselves.  I also had my oldest take care of many of the things around the house while I did so.  Winterizing the veggies was a big part of what he did. 

The only other thing I had time to do (beside make lunch and supper and clean up in between) was repot 2 plants and get a few outside things stored in an outbuilding and then close it up w/ plastic

So much more to do tomorrow.

The days are getting shorter and the nights are getting cold.  

This morning as I pulled out of the dirt road onto the county road I was to turn left

but this amazing color was casting off from the lake. 

It caused me to turn right instead. 

Camera in hand I spent many many minutes just watching the sun rise.

It was lovely.

As this distracted me from my "Life" it reminded me 

of what LIFE is really about.

Finding beauty when ever and where ever we can




Time to start tanning again. Just for a bit of warmth ;)

Busy and cold, but mostly busy

I am just too busy.  I don't like it.  I don't seem to have a moment that isn't filled with doing something. Yesterday I took a break and watched t.v. I was sitting down even.  But, I had to work myself into a panic on Sunday to afford myself that hour and a half I took the next night and I also had to make up for it today. 

Stood outside watching son's fball game tonight. It was 33 degrees with stints of snow and rain. I was underdressed and cold. I can't keep it in my head that he has games every Tuesday and some Thursdays.  I called myself a bad sports mom tonight. But as I waited for my kid to get out of the locker room after picking my other child up already from Tae Kwon Do and was about to head to get my oldest from his Fball practice where he stayed late to oogle over volleyball players.....I saw moms rolling in to the lot to pick up their kid. They weren't standing on the side lines cheering or freezing.....I don't suck!  I'm too hard on myself *as always

The weather is turning too cold too fast and I am afraid. I am afraid I won't get the leaves mulched up. I don't know how or when I am going to be able to plastic the outbuildings by myself- at least I got the supplies today.  I always do this stuff but I have always been a SAHM.

Somedays it all seems like too much.

It's true

I sure do like taking pictures of people.  I may not be the best at it, but I bring to the table things that my partner doesn't.  While he can make a light box work for him in a way I never could I can make people open up and smile.....for real. 

It puts me in a good mood. This is true.

And then I saw a heart.....in the middle of nowhere

copyright BFD
Chapter Two

just a bit

about sums it up

Very bad weather cancelled sports tonight and I got to stay home.
A much needed break and a nap and I feel a bit more human.

Being average.....'nuff said

Did you know that the average couple has sex 3-4 times a month?
Just being average

'Nuff said

Me

GNO
Probably the last weekend that shorts will be appropriate, so I went for it
Of course I kept my boots on 

It's ok, I'm ok

Just busy or not busy but feeling like I should be?  I work 4-5 mornings a week which more and more creep later and later. I don't have much time from the end of work until the kids are done with school.  I am then running them to their activities and dinner has become a thing of the past. I think my youngest ate hotdogs all last week.  I suck! That is just not o.k.  People would kill for my work schedule yet they don't understand all I have to do outside of work...sigh....inhale/exhale.

I went out last night. The first time in weeks and weeks. L left early because she is in the middle of divorce and decided that a couple near us looked too happy.  I only like to be out if she is out.  I stayed out for a bit more but it ended with me going home wondering if I had fun.

I am only up now because I am finally folding the laundry from over a week ago so that I can wash and fold this week's laundry.  Basically I needed the baskets to put the freshly cleaned clothes in (vs the week old clean clothes)

I am doing pretty good at making it to the gym and I have been pushing myself a bit harder.  I was able to button up a pair of shorts last night that I couldn't pull up at he beginning of the summer. But, because I am me, I made myself remember when not that many years ago they were my loose shorts  :(

I am lonely. I miss my connections with people I used to have. But things change.  Lots has changed

BUT, I'm ok.  and it's ok