What is black and white and lays on yellow stipes? Me

photo credit : Jon H.

Photos from last Fall

Alright, fine! I need help (damnit)

I have a tattoo appointment tomorrow
I have the deposit down, and I want this
(I decided in the hospital)
But..................


I NEED HELP DAMNIT
(gah, it kills me to ask)

I desire something that represents strength
The strength that I have had to maintain to survive what I have had to go through most of my life
(pain, surgery, extreme internal health issues)

Some things I know I want:

I am leaning toward a tree

It will be in grey/brown scales- no colors

I have thought of adding text to it

It has to go with my other tatts (5 birds)

I don't know!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

My last tatts came about because a blogger suggested them.  

So I figured I'd open the floor to you all today- link me up to a pic or two

pics from Vi.sualize.us

HEY YOU!!!! (advice I should take)

Happy Monday Morn- a video to go with your coffee

Just serving up more leftovers from St. Patricks Day
Have a good week

~BFD~

21 Questions -Daisy got naughty

1. (via Angel) Where is your most sensitive spot that you did not expect to be sensitive?
Hmmm any place is sensitive on me if things are going right
but I guess between my toes

2. Do you like oral sex?
It is not my favorite thing to give
but if done correctly I like to receive 
(done wrong and I feel like kicking you out of my bed)

3. Have you ever tasted someone that tasted just of the nastiest nasty ever?
Oh sure
things change taste
(illness, diet, dehydration etc)

4. drunk text me right now!
shhh I hav drunk 2 much
u gonna luv on me when i cum home ina few?
or did you mean something like this?
textmesomethingdirty

5. How many partners have you had?
I don't know.  Seems like a lot to me, but I'm sure it's 
not by most people's standards 
(a dozen maybe?)

6. Have you ever had your ass licked?
yes  :)

7. Do you like anal sex?
Rarely
I have enjoyed it before, yes.

8. Girls will you have sex on your period? boys will you do it?
I would, my hubby won't

9. Sex in a public place?
Yes please
a public (not in the open) place please 

10. Are you lusting after someone right now?
Of course


11. Drunk text me again
hehe ur soooo funn y
u no i wanna do nasty things to u
*lick*

12. One word to describe your sex style. 
conservatively adventurous  

13. One word to describe your kissing style.
Unpracticed 

14. Shaved, trimmed or full bush?
Shaved and trimmed

15. Do you have a blogger crush?
Of course-duh!

16. Fantasy?
Wouldn't you like to know

17. How do you nurse your sore crotch after being used like a punching bag ;)
warm bath, vitamin E oil, time

18. (Im grasping here running out of questions)....show a hot pic if you want. 

19. What do you think about bondage?
Lightly please

20. Talking dirty hot or not?
Talking dirty can be soooo HOT, but I find
that really it usually isn't - not many people are good at it
(that I've encountered) 
*shrug*

and...

21. Put a question you want to ask for next weeks 21 questions! 
My Question for next time is :
What age do you think is a good age for a person to lose their virginity?

Quick update and FFI

1. Why does it seem like we only remember the negative things?

2. A fishing trip for him  is equal to a weekend on the beach for me.

3. My favorite breakfast includes coffee.

4. Why I wore lipstick to my mastectomy was the last book I read , and I am currently reading Love Song.

5. I am SO glad my meeting went the way it did on Thursday.

6. A hug would make me feel better right now.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to movie night maybe, tomorrow my plans include _tending to the house and kids and Sunday, I want to do something fun with the family!

Quick update:

::Meeting today?  It was awesome!!!! My favorite phrases included
-Let's make this happen
-Let's figure out a way to make this worth your while (financially)
-Just be yourself
-You're going to blow them away (the possible funders)
-We should get this started and get out of your way and let you just do it
-You did in a year what we have been trying to figure out how to do for years
-We want YOU, no matter what we need to do- we want YOU.

Happppppy me.

::Medical Update? Nothing really there
-General surgeon couldn't be sure if huge bulge in my vaginal region below my scar was a hernia
-Come back in a couple weeks to recheck
-Could still be swollen
-Might be where I was stitched up inside
-Blah Blah
-No real answer, a lot of maybe so-maybe nos

Have a good weekend dear ones

Left Overs (HNT)

Left overs from last week's post

*click*

Does anyone else have problems with eating other people's left overs? 

(*ahem* I was talking food here)

I'm a walking contradiction, but you knew that.....carry on

 So this morning I am a walking contradiction (again) I am relaxing/ enjoying a morning sitting in the sun drinking my coffee and skimming the net, and yet I instantly turn into the 'gotta get shit done' person.  I have a website for our business to get done before April 8 and a Yellow Book ad that couldn't be more hacked if I would have thrown up magnetic letters in the air and written down the words they formed as they landed on the ground.  I also have a paypal account (virtual terminal) to get up and running/approved/and verified before the before mentioned weekend. 

Granted we have been in business 11 years this Spring, but apparently we are finally going to step into the modern world this season. 

I have a doctors appt at 2:40 today to check if this painful bump of tissue/muscle on my stomach down into my vaginal region is a surgical hernia (thankyouverymuch doc, if it is) and a working lunch meeting tomorrow from 11-12:30 with my possible future employer.  *nerves*

Carry on........

21 Q? NSFW-duh!

This week is first thing you think of are ya ready???

1. Pink
My childhood bedroom

2. Lolly pop

THIS

3. cherry on top
only if there is whipped cream too

 fine, they aren't cherries....but i like the pic ;)

4. 3
The number things operate in ...3's
123, ready set go, bases, luck, bad things, hide and go seek.....threes


5. entertainment center
Old and beat up- waiting for kids to grow before getting new one

6. spoon
Ohhhh yes please.  Used to hate it, not anymore

7. Biology lab
A class I never took.

8. Wham Bam
Quickie

9. Dessert
Only a bite and preferably not chocolate

10. Rough
Lightly rough,.....yes please

11. Hot tub
Heaven

12. Sex Club
Not for me
maybe.............


13. Lips
Kiss me

14. floor
on my knees

15. ice
melt it on me

16. naughty or nice
both (at the same time)

17. table top
Yes I have

18. back
not my favorite place to be during sex

19. Ryan Reynolds (yes had to get him in)
Who?

20. Tattoo
.JUST put down a deposit today for another one
a tree...somewhere

and
21. boobies
*lick

I have seen the perfect pair

All pics from Google Image Search

Lost

Lost:  Swim suit and cover up/dress


Last seen: Vegas poolside

If found: I'll wonder wth?!  :)

This makes for a very unhappy BFD.  I have a hard time finding a suit to fit me.  I can not wear a bikini (thank you five children in five years, including a set of twins) I don't want to look like an aged mother so don't go for the one piece and yet tank-inis have to have good boob support since the girls nursed all of those babes and don't stand at attention like a 18yr olds anymore (since I am double that + it is not surprise)  Also- I have a LONG body/ legs, so not just any top and bottoms will work either.  So when I do find a suit to fit me I wear the thing until it is worn out.....or in this case, lost.

I found a super cute pair of boyshort bottoms so I grabbed those (and fearing my bum hanging out a bit would offend hubby) I also grabbed a bikini bottom pair (both black).  NOW a top.  Sigh.... this sucks!!!!

Real Life-Cinderella like shit

I spent the day cleaning- cooking- putting away......
and CHANGING SHEETS

6 beds, three of which are lofts. ughhh - hard work, my insides screaming.  All beds were stripped to the mattress and all blankets and pillows were washed, dried, and beds redressed.

I think the beds were changed while I was on bedrest and others tended to me.....
It was definitely time.

Cinderella like shit

Less Passion than practiced

Less passion than practiced
but desired effect was still achieved.
(I am guessing this happens in marriages????  Just lie to me and say yes, K?)

Six weeks without an O from sex is not the longest I have gone
but hopefully it is the longest I go for awhile

FFI

And...here we go!

1. I love to go to the movies because it's a good escape.

2.Sex,  it’s the quality!

3. The last thing I had to eat was a turkey wrap with colby jack cheese, lettuce, and ranch.

4. The paperback dictionary  is no longer essential.

5. Please take a moment to be kind to others.

6. Your mouse and keyboard  have brought you this far.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to nothing, tomorrow my plans include nothing and Sunday, I want to somehow magically have a great day! 

 

 

 

Going out on St. Patty's was fun......while it lasted

Call Me (Lucky)

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.


and Happy HNT

I ruin my own happiness

 Sigh

This time of year is hard. End of the winter, melting, mud, cold....antsy.

This year is a bit different with the bedrest coming to an end.  I am trying hard to maintain my mental stability, but I am my own worst enemy
I'm trying
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Selfish/One sided blame
(in which I use a lot of these  /////  and think about myself )

People write posts about what their spouse/ boyfriend/ lover does wrong and how they are the ones being hurt and the reasons their relationships are being ruined because of the other person.  I really wish you'd all/ they'd all take a bit of responsibility for their own actions- talk about how THEY have checked out leaving the other person no chance, how THEY won't try to do the things their spouse likes to make it work.  I am a bit tired of hearing/reading about how their partner does nothing for THEM.

 I'd like to hear the other side- there are always three sides to the story you know.
Maybe if we started thinking what can I do for them? Instead of what are they (not) doing for me???

Maybe your selfishness is adding to the problem- ever consider that?  If you throw yourself back in, whole heartedly, accept the trouble that is going to come when you first try to come back and work through it.....just maybe you/they would be in a better situation. 

I say this because believe me, I am not the easiest person to be married to either....  I don't make it as easy as I could.  None of us is perfect (especially me), but a lot of us are quick to blame

(And yes, I understand this is not the case for everyone- so please don't leave me a rambling comment talking about how you have BTDT..... I know....just thinking here)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am so excited to go out of St. Pat's day. It will be the first time out for the holiday since college.  (I am a good portion Irish)

ohhhh and

(my kids are a good portion Finn.....yep, they didn't get that from me *wink )

Lucky ........

I bought a shirt for Thursday night

(and HNT)

Nothing exciting- no big deal

I took this from Vixen who took it from ????

Kiss a girl
Yes, and I am so happy I waited as long as I did.  I am glad I didn't have "one of those moments"  in college- because I wouldn't look at it fondly today. Now, couldn't be happier about the experience(s)

pic from here

Have anal   
Yes.
Have a threesome   
No
Engage in group sex
No    
Have phone sex    
Yeah, actually I have- but isn't something I normally would get into
Masturbate    
Duh (did you read this post ??) *wink*
Use a vibrator    
Oh yes, yes I do (often)
Use a sex toy on someone else    
Yes(ish)
Be tied up    
yes actually I have
Tie someone up  
yes, it didn't go as well as it did in my mind
Have sex in a public space    
Not really
I would to change that- but it takes two...
Be a voyeur and watch others having sex (live, porn does not count)    
Not since college/dorms (which at that time was just annoying)
Sex in a car    
OHHH, yes- that is actually something we do often
Sex at a drive-in    
I have never been to a drive in- so no.
Mile-high club   
  No, nor do I want to
Sex with a stranger    
Not since college
One-night stand    
Yes
Married sex
you know the answer

Sex on a boat   
We started once. but he wasn't into it....so we stopped (too bad because it is a huge fantasy of mine)

Sex in a body of water    
Yes a hot tub, but it doesn't really work for me (not a big water friend)
Light spanking    
Oh please
Read erotica    
Yes, of course- I even have a favorite writer
Play strip poker/Monopoly/card game   
No
Sex in the shower    
YES but it hasn't ever been good
Sex standing up against a wall    
:)
Sex with no kissing   
Often
Sex in the pitch black    
Usually
Sex in the broad daylight    
Of course.
Making out with no sex long after you’re no longer a virgin    
Not much or often- I do remember a whole lot of kissing last Fall- and I was smiling!!!!!!!!!!
Sex in a tent in the wilderness    
Yes,we used to do that alllllll the time before we had kids- we backpacked around the SW and camped many Midwestern states- one particular time included maple syrup 
Watch porn together    
Not really, it makes ME uncomfortable to watch it with him.
Watch porn alone    
I like to look at pics more than video- and I do use it when I am alone many days in a row
Learn to give yourself multiple orgasms     
Just recently - yes
Sex on the beach   
No
Blindfolds 
I do have one, but it takes great trust now doesn't it
Using ice sexually    
Yes, way back when
Sexual role play   
Not my thing
Whipped cream    
I do love me some whipped cream
La Perla lingerie sex    
I have no idea what that is ????
Frederick’s of Hollywood lingerie sex    
Not sure what this is asking- but I have never owned anything from Frederick's
Sex with someone much older    
Not much older- no
Sex with someone younger (legal!) 
Um, no- I don't know if I ever have....think they have always been older 
Sex in a foreign country, possibly with a foreigner    
No
A quickie in a skirt    
Kind of- not like you are thinking I suppose
A longie in the rain   
No
Sex in the ocean while people swim all around you    
No
Feather ticklers    
No, not sure if I want to either
Sex while “altered” whether by alcohol or something else    
Me?
Learn to orgasm in less than five minutes from intercourse alone    
No- I take forever to O, and if my clit isn't touched it rarely happens
Silent sex in a full house    
Now this- allllll the time!  yes.  I love that

Logic (BFD style)

Daughter:   Mama, do you really the think the world is going to end soon?

BFD (aka mama):  Honey, if it were going to end very soon I would not be wasting my time standing at this stove cooking chopped steak and veggies.

Daughter: (pondering)
(Pause)
What would you be doing? 

BFD- Fun stuff

Do me

Do my .........

hair

Off to get my hair done

trim, highlight, eyebrows

and most importantly - a bit of me time.

pic from \

Google Image Search

That kinda night

That kinda night (Saturday)





alone- bedroom
(him at basketball tourney with oldest)

drinking and folding laundry


more drinking than folding........



that kinda night

My (non-existant) life in bullets (with clicks)

::  My side still hurts

:: I wake up feeling alright and am good about every other day

(maybe because I over do on the days I am feeling better)

:: I slept a shit load today (awake at 9:30, a 2 hr nap this afternoon) 

:: I just got the results back from my physical (pre surgery) I am beyond healthy-wow! In fact my doc wrote a note saying I could eat more salt if I wanted...... All my lab levels were below or at the low end of normal etc.  
 

:: The kids have been home for 9 days now and will be home until Monday (11 days total)
(Spring break....unnecessary when you live in the tundra. how fun is 30 degrees and 3ft of snow and no money to travel)

:: I am ready for them to go back.....yeah, very ready (after breaking up another fight just now...very ready)

:: With the kids being home we watched a few movies.  I am a dweeb but I LOVED this movie



:: The chicken shack is more like the chicken house now-fully insulated and brand new windows make it warmer than her house these days.  All that is left is the finishing details inside 
(attaching the nesting boxes, installing the roosts, making the storage/entry area)

:: I am trying to move back into reality.  The way I was able to survive this bedrest thing was to zone out and just not let myself be involved because that just caused worry about things I could not fix/do.  However, that means I have to catch back up.  My calenders are all still on February, I am out of touch with the kids and the outside world. (I feel like this almost)

:: I made a call and the job possibility will start rolling again- they put it on the back burner for me (amazing - huh?) ALSO while out for the 1.5 hrs I was on Thursday night, I was offered a job at my favorite little place in town and had to tell them I had to see......ugghhhh.  I feel blessed and cursed - two great jobs and yet I can't jump yet.  (God is testing me I think...must trust)

:: I am an over cautious person who has a hard time speaking up for what I want.  However I am also a strong woman and because of this combination I find that people are willing to hurt my feelings because I can handle it over the more "sensitive" people.  Why do I have to be the one to be careful around friend X because she is sensitive when she outright shit on me? So annoying.  Also being a strong woman if I speak up about it I look like a bitch because I am inconsiderate.  (because- duh! I should be able to handle it like I handle everything else in my life)

:: I need a new pair of every day black shoes.

:: I agree, distance sucks

:: I wish I knew if the nay sayers are right about the 2012 theory because I would do quite a few things differently in my life if I knew for sure the world was ending soon, and NO I can not do those things now in my every day life if I live another 50 years (not without trouble)

:: I need spring to come NOW.  We have another month before that happens.

:: That being said it is obvious I won't be able to use my snow shoes this year.

:: However,  I can not wait to get my bow out again

:: Netflix is my new addiction.

:: I love shows like Ax Men, Swamp People, and have been watching Top Shots with the boys (hey, Cody from Survivor is the host, yum).....yeah, I am female - you wouldn't know it by the shows huh?




:: The more I live the more I realize other people's lives are not what they make them out to be- whether it is their relationships, their jobs, their money situation -what ever it is.  When I was in my late 20's and early 30's I was fooled...now I believe some just hide things better

:: I have had sex once-one time- in five weeks....yep.

:: I am feeling awful about my body right now, a poor self esteem cloud hangs over my head right now.  So much so that I told my hubby he had to stop talking about how 'fing hot' the young girls/women were on Survivor.  Normally I can handle that type of talk and even have been known to join in such talk- not now. Now all I can see if my swollen stomach that reminds me of a deflating balloon......

pics for post from 

Google image search

::  Life in bullets- thankyouverymuch to Vixen for the idea
(and Os who is popular for such posts too)

 Have a good weekend  

you crazy lil freaks  

pics from tumblr

FFI

And...here we go!

1. Oh gross! I thought it was frosting.

2. Being 'that girl' .....  well THAT's off my bucket list!

3. No, I'm not kidding.  (I say that all the time)

4. I miss 'em with my heart and soul.

5. And then what?

6. I can't forget to have hope and believe it will work.....somehow.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to maybe a movie online, tomorrow my plans include son's basketball tourney and Sunday, I want to nap!

Don't like me?

*click*

Rescue Me

I am seriously addicted to this show, every episode I think that this is the last one and I will stop for a bit- watch a movie maybe (I have 35 waiting in my instant queue) but I keep hitting Next Episode all day long. (thank you netflix)


Other than that.  I don't have much, unless you missed my v-log below

and my insides hurting like a son of a mother f'ing bitch !!!!! for the past two days (especially tonight, which is why I'm still up)

Thank You- a V Log...... It's true

You may have to turn the sound up, it was 11pm and I was trying not to disturb the household

A short thank you from me to you.  

I got the idea from Lightning Bug's Butt blog and have seen Gucci Mama do a V-Log
along with my good blogging friend Shelle too..... figured I'd jump on the train too

ok ok, I am not a train jumper (unless it is jumping off the 'what is popular' train)
Truth be told, I wanted to play with my new laptop/camera.


(and if you know me, you know how impossible not easy it was for me to post such a telling thing- like my voice.)



 
After spending 27 seconds staring at my tits (oh come on, you did) why don't you go see more here at 
Tits for Troops  you can look at boobs and not get slapped

21 Q's

 21 Questions comes from Daisy (hit pic ^ right there to link)
Questions snagged off Vixen's page-
1. How old are you?
Closer to 40 than 30
I am actually 37 and could have never imagined 10 years ago I'd be proud to admit it but have to admit that I feel and maybe even look better now than I did then... so, yes! I am 37 (although I got carded for the last beer I bought because they have to card anyone who looks under the age of 30 )
2. What’s your favorite color?
No secret if you have been around here long- White 
3. First car you ever had sex in?
It was a truck.  A Ford F150 grey pickup truck.
4. Favorite rated R movie?
Hmmm movies are hard, I don't usually have A favorite.  I don't get to the theater often but I sure do enjoy watching movies.  Ummmm..... I really don't know. 
5. Favorite flavor of popsicle?
 Can not stand Popsicles.  Nope- not even a little.
6. Banana or apple?
Hate bananas (there are two foods I cannot nor will not tolerate and they are bananas and g. peppers).  So apple is the winner- but it has to be a crisp / hard apple like a Brauburn nothing worse than a mooshy soft apple. gag.
7. Favorite Jersey shore character?
Have never, and would never watch the show
8. Are your nails painted and if so what color?
My nails are rarely painted, I don't really like it for longer than a day.  If they are painted my favorite color tends to be a shade down from red
9. Favorite animal?
Favorite pet would be a dog, favorite animal ever? hmmmm Birds (wild birds)
10. If you could bang a disney character who would it be?
Jim Hawkins from Treasure Planet (there aren't a lot of guys to chose from, and a prince is not an option- not my style) 
11. What time is bed time?
Midnight
12. Do you have kids?
I have four children, three boys and a girl - ages:  B-11, G-10, B-8, B-6
13. Last time you bought a toilet brush?
Ummmm 5 years ago when we built our downstairs bathroom I suppose
14. Double penetration ( come on I had to get one in)
Only if one is a toy- no desire to ever be with two guys filling both holes at once.
So...
15. Bubble bath or long hot shower?
Both, either- depends upon.  I like both a lot.
16. Can you speak a foreign language?
I took Spanish in high school, but can't speak a word of it.  I can understand some......  so- basically- NO
17. Describe yourself in 2 words?
Cautious, outgoing
18. How many tattoos do you have if any?
Five- one for each child.
(four surviving, one departed)
19. How do you like your eggs?
In a sandwich with cheese and ham
20. How do you get rid of a hickey…I need to know
A bruise is a bruise.  I learned in college bruises heal with eating green veggies????  maybe so 
and 21. Favorite color to wear.
White.  After that cream, brown, black and grey are my entire wardrobe it seems

pic from HERE

I am sick to death of talking about recovery and bedrest...... so I won't.  I'll update later this week.  But - this is and has been similar to what I have been and am doing.  

Sunday Randomness/pics

Pics from Here

Who doesn't love a little Beiber Bashing? :

These two pics grabbed my attention this week 

Not for myself really, but for a r.l. friend who is 

having a rough go of it:

I have been oddly attracted to character art this week:

I think if I had to be a character I'd want to be her

it would take a strong neck to hold up that hair though

a little less dark but still meaningful:

Just for fun:

 mmmm coffee

I'd swim in it if I could

Now that I am able to do a few things again

(very few before I tire)

My to do list for the day looks like this

 I decided when I was in the hospital

I indeed would be getting another tattoo

hubby is biting his tongue on this matter
This one will be purely for myself 
(the last one represented my children)
It will represent my inner strength. 

 

 The one good thing about sleeping so much

seeing those I miss in my sleep  ;)

Alright dear readers

it is Sunday, the house is empty

and I am tired

naptime