Favorite (s)..... well, there are 3

Well well, it is that time of year again. Time to pick our favorite HNT post of the year. This year has been crazy crazy. What a change I have led myself through; some good, some left behind, and some new along the way. I think in the end I am stronger, better, happier(ish), and on the right path.

I am not done....that is the problem. Change is hard. A rearranged room doesn't look good when everything is out of place and you are trying to figure out if the sofa really will fit against that wall and can you see the t.v. from there? When you are in the middle of changing- it is messy. That is where I believe I am (I just had an aha moment!) I am in the "messy middle"

I couldn't decide on one pic and didn't have time to take votes from my blog friends like I did last year, so I am going with a 1st, 2nd, and third place like any good race has.

Thank you so much for all your support, and for following me as I tried to escape some (left behind) by switching url's. You are the reason I am strong enough to go through this metamorphosis in the first place.

View out my window:

HERE

I like this photo because it is the last time I truly felt sexy while taking a pic. 

I was confident and loved the outcome .

Jon H. has moved since this shoot......

Empowered :

 HERE

This pic is in the running because of how I was feeling in this exact moment.

I truly did feel as though if I lept I would fly

I don't remember ever feeling so strong as in that moment

Inappropriate Behavior :

HERE

This photo wins because of the circumstances it was taken in

I do not know that I have ever had such a fun night

(before or since this pic- which for me is staying a lot)

I love this girl and the fun, sincerity, honesty, openness and joy she brings me.

Plus who doesn't want a friend as sexy as this? damn!

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

Song in sidebar: 

Takes me back ....  to a ring tone.  

Remembering what was going on when that tone was going off.  

I wish I had a wish right now....... yes.  

How Perceptive

Thanks Ken-

I am not around much, it is hard with it being Christmas Break. My hubby is home during breaks like these and then of course all four kids and their demands. I did make it through the Holidays. I feel bad that I don't remember Christmas day much. I was more on a function mode. Sad. But I did have a good day on the 26th which is odd since it is his family that used to be the problem......... glad for it though.

Things are what they are. However, I have a very perceptive friend and he sent me this song via FB. He just seems to know. <3

In One Year From Today I Will Be:

Well?  Where do you see yourself?
Answer in the comments box below

Three Wishes

It is no secret I have been absent from blog reading since around mid- summer.  Because of that, I almost didn't do this week's HNT.  However I played along.  The idea is to grant 3 wishes to fellow bloggers- bloggers you wouldn't normally give a gift to. 



I have come up with three+ :
There are no clicks this week

First Wish goes to Emmy
(Right Turn w/o Signaling):

I do manage to read HERE once a week or so, 

and it seems she is need of a good belt.  

*evil grin

Second Wish goes to 13 Messages

This gift is easy
I wish for him a 10 day all expenses paid vacation with his lovely wife.  Of course with this comes the most wonderful childcare, paid leave from work (along with a well earned bonus- enough to pay a few extra bills).  I am thinking someplace tropical where the water is magical and little clothing isrequired.

   


 
My final wish goes out to Maggie
(Today Did Not Suck):
To the girl that makes me smile every time she comments on my posts....
I wish the ability to be her in the way she wants to be.  To be happy and to have things go her way- a bit easier than maybe they might otherwise.  I hope she flies with her own wings.



Edit:  I have another wish that needs to be made.   
Ken from HERE (The New Me).  I wish for him someone perfectly sassy and sexy to wake to.  Someone who can appreciate his humor and his wit, yet hold his heart gently in her hand and be there... constant and true.

Os is going to have to borrow Emmy's belt and spank me, because I am about to break the rules (shocker....not!)
Because I have one more wish.  (Hey, there is no genie and there is not bottle.... who is gonna stop me?)

I would like to give Vixen 
my favorite, super soft, just right feather pillow.....
but she come to my bed to use it.
(mess up my bed with me ....)

I hope you all have a wonderful Holiday season. 
<3 BFD

I feel like a two year old in the throws of a tantrum (and a pic)

So, I know I know... I have a story to tell, but right now is not the time.

I just need to change my mood.  I am falling head first, maybe even tumbling over the cliff of anger, frustration, grumpy, anxious abandonment.. I have sent the kids downstairs to save them from me even

Between Christmas shopping for both the gifts and all the food, and staying up late preparing lists for shopping trip the night before, days and days w/o a nap  (anyone who knows me knows I need my naps- I have a strong mind but a weak body), some bad news, a longing and sadness that can't be cured, and now a pile of groceries awaiting my attention and a basement full of clean laundry calling it's turn after the groceries I am quickly losing it.

I am lonely and bored with real life and desperately long to lay on the couch naked under a huge blanket watching the snow that is coming down while watching movies, feeling heat from behind me. 

Plus, my foot has been killing me since last Thursday when I got a nasty ass blister where my toe meets my foot (second toe next to big toe....yeah- there) and it will.not.heal.  It is making the simplest task difficult.

I feel like a two year old in the throws of a tantrum.  Ohhhhh.....and it isn't Thursday yet- but I got something in the mail from my girl  and I just had to show you.

 

The bracelet silly

On a side note, people should really leave sores alone.  Picking at sores only causes them to bleed and leaves scars, if not causing serious infections that could have life altering effects.  Leave it the F alone!!!!!

Ohhh ohhh oh GOD an O

I have a story to tell. It involves an available sitter, a night out, a celebration, friends, food and beer, lots of beer.  It continues into a parking lot on a freezing night and an orgasm like I have never had before. It ends in my bed allowing those dirty acts he has long begged for.  It concludes days later where my legs are still sore and shaky. 

I will be back to tell the tale when I have more "alone time" to write.  

(The Youtube video on the side is a hint)

FFI and a game

So...here we go!


1. What in the world ? I got a package today (from her) curious???.

2. I was not well fed today, I was so busy I forgot to eat most of the day.
3. Go tell it on a ..... well, anywhere- I am feeling better tonight!.

4. I screw up when I sent our Christmas cards.  I didn't write the addresses down and then proceeded to throw away the cards/envelopes from years past- planning on relying on this years cards.... we have only received 10 (I sent out over 50 cards this year).

5. I keep hoping.

6. Christmas will come ready or not.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going out- it's a celebration night!, tomorrow my plans include our first Christmas celebration and Sunday, I want to bake!

Ok, so here is the game (from FFI):  you have to identify Christmas songs by the initials of the first words of the first line of each song.

19. IDOAWCJLTOIUTK:
20. CROAOFJFNAYN:
21. IBTLALLC:
22. OLTOBHSWSTL:
23. SBRAYLITLSIG:
24. IBHFC:
25. WWYAMCWWYAMC:
26. IHTBOCD:
27. FTSIAJHS:

Christmas is for the children

There is nothing sadder in this world

Than to awake Christmas morning

and not be a child

Erma Bombeck 

*click*

Christmas just isn't the same when you are the one making it happen.

I need to change my attitude 

(that has flooded over me the past few days). 

I need to make this holiday great for my kids - 

it is now their turn for it to be the best time of the year.

 

Side Note:
While trying to take my HNT pic today the cat did not like that I was disturbing the place he laid claim to (the Christmas Tree)  Click on the pic (to the left) to see the result of his revenge

Big Day

Big Day
Big Big Day

Can't explain too much right now. 
But wow!  Big things could be happening soon

Rinse, Repeat

He said " It feels like you are back where you were two years ago" when I refused his hand sliding into my shirt (again- straight for the same two areas every.single.time.)

Funny, because I kinda feel about him the way I did two years ago.

 pic from Vi.sualize.us

Here we go again.......

Cuddling or Groping?

So he was mad last night- yup.  He was on his side of the couch- pouting....

See, he wanted to cuddle (while we watched the movie Valentine's Day (which was pretty good btw) ) However, I stayed on my side of the couch after about .025647 seconds.  See, to me, if you are going to cuddle that means close contact but no groping.  Now, cuddling can lead to groping, but it should not start with groping.  NOPE, no, no way.

There are two areas to avoid when cuddling.

 You know them, I don't need to illustrate.  However he pulled me close and within a milisecond his hand went down to my crotch. (Insert sounds of brakes here) wth?  that to me is not cuddling and I was not in the mood for groping.  I wanted to watch the movie, I really wanted and needed physical contact - but I didn't want the pressure of sexual contact.  Would the non-sexual contact led to sexual contact? Possibly.......

Am I totally talking in circles (yes!) or am I making any sense?

Apparently this is something people have to learn- there are how to videos on it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8ojzoOfjY0&feature=fvw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a6vS-V_5r4

She speaks in parantheses about how stay at home moms like me do nothing......right? wrong!

Tired, I am just plain tired this morning.  

Yesterday I spent the entire day decorating for Christmas.  Tote after tote was rifled through and the items dispersed- this was round two after the tree stuff went up last weekend and the initial round of decorating happened.  First of course the other "normal/everyday" items had to be relocated (to make room for the fat Santa or yet another nativity scene).  I was also trying to do laundry, and get all the items figured out to decorate a table at church for the "Women's Christmas Tea" (like finding my flatware and washing out the gobblets that haven't been used for a year etc, deciding if I want just balsam or balsam and cedar- pinecones? After all it has to be good enough to make the likes of Martha Stewart jealous). 

Also (at the time) I  thought I had to prepare for a meeting this morning involving the project I run for my town (it's a website).  Someone might want to pick it up and I would finally get paid for my work!!!!! yay!  But that required some mental work too - what to present online, and how to answer possible questions that could come up.  *Big Breath In..... and Out*  If you are feeling a bit uptight while reading that- you are on the right track because I was wound so tight by the end of the day I'm surprised I didn't snap at a church lady while setting my table up at 7pm last night. 

Pulling off a supper of french toast with berries and bacon on the side (5pm-5:30pm) , decorating and setting a table at church (6pm-7:15pm), running to the gym to switch locks and scan my card ..must get my 12 times in for insurance, and this month that means being deceptive ....I'm already going to hell - so whatever...  (7:30pm-7:40pm), arrive very late for G.N.O. (girls night out) stay there for a bit (9:45pm) and back home (10:00pm) to my waiting hubby who had plans for me. 

Noone should be shocked to know I woke with a tight jaw, a stress headache, a sore throat, and a bit of an ear ache.  Sigh...... sigh.... double sigh....

My meeting got pushed back to Tuesday.  My table at church just needs a few apples and pomegranates placed on it before I can be the 'hostess with the mostest' at the 6pm tea tonight (now what modest outfit to wear?), I have a wellness visit at 11:30 since I feel the stress of yesterday already, a lunch meeting at noon (with someone who also wants to discuss my project), I volunteer in the kindergarten class at 2pm and will then pick my four kids up at 2:50 and bring their grumpy little butts home to rejuvenate over the weekend.  I am tired indeed. 

Oh - one last thing.  Christmas is canceled this year, Santa died laughing when I told him you'd been good.   ;)

Unwrap me

"Unwrap me now and i hope before the end of the night you'll
kiss me for christmas"

Kiss Me For Christmas lyrics

let's make this the day
that we'll remember
let's make what what we have
forever go on
take my hand as your gift
and fall for me
you take my heart and we'll forever live on

pass me your love and i'll pass you mine
unwrap me now and i hope before the end of the night you'll

kiss me for christmas
kiss me for christmas
all i want is you
all you need is me
kiss me for christmas
kiss me for christmas
all i want is you
all you need is me
can you believe?
do you believe?

as i lay next to you
in front of the fire
and a gift of a lifetime is here in our arms
i look to you boy
always look to me baby
and this feeling we have today will last forever
it will never be gone

pass me your love, i'll pass you mine
unwrap me now and i hope before the end of the night you'll

kiss me for christmas
kiss me for christmas
all i want is you
all you need is me
kiss me for christmas
kiss me for christmas
all i want is you
all you need is me
do you believe?
do you believe?

lets make this the day
that we'll remember
let's make what we have forever go on

kiss me for christmas
kiss me for christmas
all i want is you
all you need is me
kiss me for christmas
kiss me for christmas
all i want is you
all you need is me
do you believe
do you believe?

You do stupid

I shouldn't set myself up for disappointment
I should know that people aren't ever going to give me the reaction I am looking for
(almost ever)
Yet I continue to be saddened when I share something
Expecting one reaction
Yet get another........

*p.s. It's cold outside again.....brrrrr

negative 13 this morn

"Hi"

"Hi"

Two simple letters that can mean so much coming out of my mouth.

On a normal day , I walk into  my favorite little store to get my cup of coffee. While in there I will say 'hi' to probably 10 people before I leave 5 minutes later.  This is not the kind of usage I speak of.  No.

For me "Hi" is used differently in different situations.  

Now, let's say we are laying next to each other in bed, we are kissing and I stop and look at you and say without a quiver in my voice (almost an exhale really), "Hi"  You should know that you are one lucky person.  In that situation "Hi" means "I would rather be no other place, you make me happy, being with you is exactly what I want, and this is perfect"

Not very many people have heard the word "Hi" used that way.  Not very many at all.

Guess: What is happening in these pics from Vegas

#1

 

#2

 

 #3

The bottom two are cell phone pics

sorry for the poor quality

Go ahead- give me your best guess 

(in the comment box) 

Take a guess at one or all three of the pictures.  

What is going on ?  

Make it funny or serious.  

Go

Ask me a question (and FFI)

pic by BFD

It's that time again- I am out of post ideas .......

So, ask me a question.  

If I can I will make a post out of it.

Right down there in the comment box

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

 Friday Fill In

1. The best thing about a birthday celebration is the presents....but as I get older it is the friends.

2. Fuck the passage of time.

3. I went shopping recently and the most interesting thing I bought was a new purse, this is interesting because I NEVER buy purses.

4. Hide and go seek is a  child's game I didn't like.

5. The reason is that I'm at the end of my rope.

6. I live in the snow and cold.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging out with my kids, tomorrow my plans include giving the SAT test and decorating for Christmas and Sunday, I want to sleep and watch movies- I won't though!

A tally-last night

2 beers at home
1 in the parking lot with friend before heading into pub
1 in pub right away
(no food...this was when I was going to eat- forgot)
a double whiskey / 7
1 or
errrr
was it 2 more beers after that? 

 pic from Vi.sualize.us

Mixed with some fun, laughter, screams of excitement, some sluffing off of some emotional stuff (with a few tears attached), other party additives and finally 1/2 a buffalo burger w/ the best fried potatoes ever....and you have my last night bundled up into a big hot 5 hr mess.

I need him to calm the storm

I need him here
NOW
I need him to hold my arms down or hold my hand
*(anything to stop me from scratching)

I need him to calm the storm that is brewing in the depth
I had fought and won against anxiety
or so I thought.... it just went out to sea to gain more force only to return with a vengeance

I am suddenly
short
angry
bitter
jealous
and frustrated feeling

and
I
*itch! 
ugghhhh
my nerves are on end and my senses overloaded

I am finding it hard to breathe

I need him:
To look me in the eye
To tell me the words that only he can

To work his magic.

I need him to calm the storm

pics from Vi.sualize

Making her taxi fantasy a reality- cont... HNT

I gave a little teaser to this HNT post HERE
Blogger isn't letting me make my clicks open in another window, so don't forget to hit the back button to continue reading, thanks.

*click*

She had confessed to a Taxi fantasy long before the wheels were up on our planes

(one late night when we were emailing back and forth (and both tipsy))

Here we were in a taxi together

by fortune of; high heels to high to walk in

a late night

and a bad experience on the Muni bus that got us to our destination in the first place.

As the lady driver pulled up she explained in no uncertain terms that we would need to put our seat belts on. "That's not going to happen" was the response that came out of the back seat. While she (the bitchy taxi driver) went on and on about how if she got a ticket we would have to pay for the fine (not listening lady, we've tuned you out)

I waited.... a block then two.

I waited for her to make a move, to make her taxi fantasy come true.

She was unmoving, but not unresponsive- I couldn't wait any longer.

We had been flirting and touching and kissing all night long and now was not the time to stop.......

*click*

Continued:

In one swift motion I rotated and threw my leg over - straddling her.  She looked up with a tipsy smile and burning eyes.  Looking down at her I lowered myself to her lips just in time to round a corner,  the pissy cab driver threw me I was thrown a bit as the bitch cabbie took the corner sharp.  I was steadied by her hands on my ass.... ahhh yes... here we go.

Again I leaned down- my weight on my knees- not on her tiny frame.  Once, twice, then three times we bumped teeth (wth?  I realized later we were so busy smiling while kissing we kept bumping teeth... who knew it was possible to be that happy?)  My hands went from her hair to her perfectly sculpted jaw line down to the corset she was wearing.  

I have run my hands up and down many a torso in my life, more than I could possibly remember - both in fun and in lust and love....but nothing equals the moments when I had my hands on her .... "perfect, you are absolutely perfect"  was exactly what I stopped, looked her in the eyes, and said...  this time she rose up to meet me, our lips creating sparks as they touched- or at least that is what my eyes saw- white hot sparks.

The cab ride ended far too soon- (our driver was still going on and on about being her last run of the night and the longest one so far... blah blah)-shut up bitch, take the money and go away- we paid her and headed toward the hotel door with our hands all over each other, unable to keep them off.  The key opened the door and we spilled through it giggling, our hands and lips busy... the door clicking behind us- a door that will remained shut my dear readers. 

She confessed to a taxi fantasy.... now, to make it real

She had confessed to a Taxi fantasy long before the wheels were up on our planes
(one late night when we were emailing back and forth (and both tipsy))
Here we were in a taxi together
by fortune of;  high heels to high to walk in
a late night
and a bad experience on the Muni bus that got us to our destination in the first place.  

As the lady driver pulled up she explained in no uncertain terms that we would need to put our seat belts on.  "That's not going to happen" was the response that came out of the back seat.  While she (the bitchy taxi driver) went on and on about how if she got a  ticket we would have to pay for the fine (not listening lady, we've tuned you out)

I waited.... a block then two.
I waited for her to make a move, to make her taxi fantasy come true.

She was unmoving, but not unresponsive- I couldn't wait any longer.
We had been flirting and touching and kissing all night long and now was not the time to stop.......

To be continued at HNT tonight.....

tune in  ;)

Details...Gushing....You won't be dissapointed

Vixen & BFD

poolside - our hotel

Things I remember… (and miss)
The longing…intimate gazes. 
Followed by sly, flirtatious, knowing sometimes devious….grins.
Her breath on the back of my neck

 

 

The rest is over HERE.....

Promise, you won't be disappointed.

Who the hell took my groove? and other daily sh*t

I need to get my head on straight. I need to continue on with my life. I have lost my groove I guess.  No more dancing while fixing dinner, spinning the kids silly and laughing with them.  Good Lord I bought a turtle neck the other day- I need an intervention.... I don't want that lady to return.....

I do have an idea for a job.  I am actually creating the perfect position for myself at my favorite store in town.  The pay is comparable to the job my hubby wants me to do (with a few benefits his job preference does not have)  I am going with the theory 'wish it, dream it, do it' and hoping it works.  I have pitched it to the boss man and he seemed interested and even added some ideas to what the position could entail (that is a good sign).  I do believe I would be a happy girl in that position.  I'll let you know if and when something happens.

As far as life with my husband- it is good.  He is spending the weekend building me a chicken coop.  He does know the way to my heart.  I have a certain fondness for outbuildings (seriously!) and he knows this.  Four walls went up today and tomorrow is the rafters (their easy, once you get the first one figured out).  He is getting over me being in Vegas and we are falling back into a normal routine.  We will both be going out this Thursday - he to a friend's and me for girl's night out.  (that is a good sign as far as I am concerned)

My health is returning. I now need to make a decision about major surgery to see if we can stop this 'chronic kidney stone disease' I have been dealing with for 8 yrs.  This is a decision I do not want to make.  If I have the surgery there is no guarantee to it working, yet if I don't have the surgery there is a guarantee I will have more and continued kidney stones and surgeries.... sigh.... sucks.

My kids (all four of them) are brilliant, or at least that is what their report cards show.  They are healthy, or at least that is what the constant fighting tells me.(Although sore throats and fevers are going around one by one)  They are insane, or their desire to spend hours outside working on snow forts when it is zero- although I can't get them outside in the summer when it is a beautiful 80 ...tells me.  They love me, and I am not sure why, because I haven't been the best mom lately.  

Christmas is at my house this year.  That means cleaning and cooking and decorating more than normal.  I am ok with it, but my husband gets his hands in there and it gets a bit stressful.  We fight for control.... it's silly.   I am worried my oldest brother won't make it.  It would be a 5.5 hr (or more with snow) drive for him.  He did come 5 years ago when we had Christmas here last time, it does help that it is on the weekend... maybe? 

Speaking of holidays- I survived Thanksgiving.  We did indeed sit around and make lists (to the point of extreme annoyance) and much worse this year?  They did it before the meal and then I helped my sis-in-law order some items online right at the diner table....sigh.  I did have a very good night at my aunt's house that night and was even able to drink several beers in the company of adults that I am related to.  We braved the zero temperature and stood in lines at Black Friday sales.  We got all that we intended to, and I do have to say it is worth it for us with the four kids.

Well, there is the bookkeeping- the catching up- the what's up post.  
Now- does anyone know where my groove went? 

Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Took this love and I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
And can I sail through the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Oh oh I don't know, oh I don't know

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older I'm getting older too
Yes I'm getting older too, so
[ From : http://www.elyrics.net/read/f/fleetwood-mac-lyrics/landslide-lyrics.html ]

I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I, I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too oh yes
I'm getting older too

So, take this love, take it down
Oh if you climb a mountain and you turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring you down, down
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills

Well maybe the landslide will bring you down
Well well, the landslide will bring you down

A Lot

 I spotted you 

before you saw me. 

I walked over to you...

but it took everything in me 

not to run

 

I stopped short

for only a moment.  

Just to look at you.

Oh how you looked to me.  

You were everything I remember and more.  

How do I approach you, what do I say?  

Months and months in planning all come down to the next moment.

I wish I could be there now, 

again

that moment where we met 

again.

Damn, I miss you.

Alot.

Up Late

This explains why I stay up late better than I ever ever ever could. 

I am a night owl by nature. I am a late nighter by my internal clock.

However, I push myself. I stay up later than I should so that when I hit that pillow I am out.  I can no longer handle lying there waiting for sleep to take me away.  I must keep the voices in my head quiet. If I am not tired, if when I hit that pillow my eyes are already unable to stay open, then my mind takes over and issues win, and I am up.

The Luxury of Lingerie

Photo Credit: Vixen

Night 3 

Vegas

Lingerie

A luxury of being on vacation

T Minus...... to T Day

Some personal/ everyday sort of information

Oh Thanksgiving

Hours and hours spent cleaning, shopping, preparing and cooking to have a meal finished and a room destroyed in less than an hours time.  Sigh......   seems like such a waste some years.

I don't talk much about my actual self on here- like my family and everyday life..... but today I thought, "why not?"  So, here I go:

Our large family is becoming smaller and smaller as my cousins and myself all have gone our own ways with our own children.  My parents and brothers and myself do get together with our spouses and children....kinda.  My oldest brother won't / doesn't drive the 4 hrs and my nieces/nephew have graduated or close to it and no longer come either.  My other brother is married but no children..... not a big gathering nor much for variety and entertainment when it comes to conversation or time spent over dinner.

This is usually how it plays out
My brother and his wife are to arrive at (let's say) 11am.  Around 11:30 my mom or dad will dare to call and ask them if they are on their way (they live in the same town as my parents).  My mom will have cut my kids off from food at 7am in anticipation of the big meal, they are now crying and hungry and grumpy and they can tell time now so they are going on and on about their uncle's late arrival.

Around noon my brother and sister in law will finally roll in with no apology for being late, or reason for their tardiness.  We will then put the now cool food out and sit down. A prayer is said and the food is started around the table (most of which my children pass up with a crinkled nose.... does anyone else understand how my kids can NOT like potatoes?  Do they NOT understand their Irish roots? Seriously kids!!!!!)  Then we start to eat.  The conversation is minimal at best.  We are not big people now, I should state that.  My husband is the largest one at the family- and he comes in at 6 ft 190lbs.  So the amount of time spent actually eating is not long.  We are done and have the table cleared in under an hour.

Next is the tradition Christmas list making.....yup, you heard me right.  We don't play games, or sit and talk over wine.  No..... we make Christmas lists- as in what we want for our Christmas gifts to help the others shop for us.  (Not kidding you, nope I am not)  Next my bro and his wife find an excuse to bow out early and that is that.

Regardless, this year a winter storm threatens to keep us home.  I don't know that I would be too hurt if we had to stay home one year.  In the 12 years I have been married we have stayed home 1 yr and that is because we were in Colorado and couldn't make it back. 

Just in case I threw a turkey ($8), two boxes of stuffing ($0.76 each), 2 cans of corn for a corn dish ($0.44 each), sweet potatoes ($0.38 a pound), dinner rolls ($1.20), pumpkin pie supplies including whipped cream (about $5), and jello with a can of mandarin oranges ($2.75) into my cart should we be stuck home we won't be stuck without a meal.

What about you?  What does your day look like?  Do you travel do you not, do you ponder over dinner or no..... tell me

Highs and Lows

I go through such highs and lows
I fight with myself

My confidence is off the chart or I am hanging onto the little toe of the person on the bottom.

I let others determine these things at time.....which leads to more self fighting.

 

I am too loud, I am being too quite.  I am too rich or too poor for the people in the room, am I wearing the right thing.  Should I say that or would it offend?  How much personal info do I put out there?  No, really, is this outfit alright or does it make me look like I am trying too hard, not hard enough, too young, too old and frumpy?

I am not worthy of time and attention, I don't want to come off needy .

OR-

I am walking down the hall of a hotel
mp3 player on
with a stride a catwalk model would envy
a smile from ear to ear 
hair flouncing (I like that word)
and people will move for me attitude.

My dress is short and I don't care
my boots tall and I like it
the eyeliner? You love it and I know it.
My laugh is loud and it draws attention and I am for it.....
indeed I will have another drink and I will look good doing so.... etc.....

such highs and lows and all within the same month.

Where is my Vitamin D and my Five Flower oil?


p.s. I wouldn't even write about this (as poor of a writing sample as it is) but I doubt I am the only one feeling this way at times.  I get emails saying they like my blog because I say what they think....so - there you have it.  That is how it is right now.  I am low