TMI Tuesday

pic from art or porn

1. How many speeding tickets have you had? Accidents?
The last speeding ticket I received was in 1999- I was way pregnant and overly emotional. I was late getting back to work on my lunch hour.
I cried! I was worried about the $175! yikes. Have been more careful since.

I have been lucky enough not to be in an accident since I was in 6th grade and my oldest brother rolled the truck.

2. Boxers, briefs or commando? Hmmm well for my man I prefer boxer briefs.

3. Have you ever had sex in your office or your place of employment? Since we run our business out of our house - YES! We have even taken advantage of the office chair ;)

Other then that - yes in the back when I was a bartender.

4. Do you or your so own a motorcycle? Do you ever ride one? Do you wear a helmet when you ride? I have a huge issue with motorcycles - my brother's friend borrowed his for a ride around the lake and never came back, his head hit a pole (ugg), also my ex's parents owned an ambulance service and the last ride along I was on was a motorcycle accident - let's just say I know what is inside someone's head literally!

5. Ever been skinny dipping? Often. Very very often.

Bonus: Ever been arrested? Turned someone in/had someone arrested?
no, nope- should have once, nah

I need a plan

Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them.
~Dion Boucicault

I have not worn a watch since the evening of February 25, 2001.
(Due to an emergency C-Section delivery of a 3 lb. babe, I was thrown into the world of a stay at home mom)
But, I did not realize how much I have lost track of time.

That is until last night. We were at a BBQ. It was decided that this needed to become a ritual through out the summer. The wife of the couple took out their very full calender and asked what was on our calender. She only had a few days to squeeze us in. Hmmmmmmm......

Honestly, I didn't have a calender with me. In fact I couldn't even recall where our day planner at home was. When I returned home I it found tucked under some mail on the kitchen counter. It was turned to December '08!

I love not be stuck by dates and times. I really only need to know the day of the week to get the kids to their activities, the actual date doesn't much matter. I used to hate being tied to my calender with it's different highlight colors indicating different activities and commitments.

However there are downfalls.

I wake up today and realize it is almost July - sigh...where is the summer going? How did a whole month disappear? Also, I find myself NOT making plans. When people call I tell them to check with my husband because he is my calender.

Because of this I find that

• I don't make plans.

• I wait. Wait for my husbands calender to empty. Which it doesn't-EVER.

• I am scrambling at the last minute if I decide I want to make a plan - for example.... it is almost my birthday. Who knew? Not me!

So, what do I want to do for my birthday? I need a plan....

I guess I'll have to check my husband's calender

I'm Just Plain White Rice

So my head is full this morning. It has been working without my knowing.

I have been trying to figure out why I am having such a hard time with all of the compliments that I have received all week. You have all opened your arms (and eyes) and given me a big supportive blog hug - especially after my hnt posts.

Yet, I sit here every day (as the comments are still rolling in) and shake my head at you crazy people. I am no different. I am the same as you or anyone else. I am not seeing it. I don't say this to be annoying or overly humble. I am not fishing for more compliments. I really really don't want that.

However, after almost 50 comments via email and comment section I am starting to wonder - if maybe just maybe there is something to what you are saying.

So, now I realize what my mind has been doing - with out me know - is thinking about why I don't see it. Why don't I see myself as sexy? Beautiful, empowered, sensual, yummy, luscious, what other words have come up?

I am coming to the conclusion that we believe what we are told. This is how abusers can keep their victims locked in a relationship in which really all they would have to do is walk away.

(Note - I am not abused, not even close)

But, it works.

I am around people who see me all the time. I have been with the same guy for almost 15 years. My family ... well they have known me since forever. Plus, my family has been big on making your way in the world - not getting by on your looks. Quite frankly anyone that I meet new isn't going to say - wow you are really beautiful, sexy whatever - it would be inappropriate. (Especially in the Midwest)

I am a humble person by nature I suppose. But, seriously I am not being humble here. I was a late bloomer (very late- like 20-21yrs old) I guess I still have the gaucky, odd, scrawny, middle school girl mentality. Bad complexion and bad hair are still in my mind. I did not grow up thinking I was beautiful, or sexy or or or ..... so, why would I change my thinking now? Isn't it intereting what gets ingrained?

This revelation has thrown me into a bit of a funk. The other day after starting to figure this out. I gave hubby a kiss. I stopped and grabbed his face in my hands and told him - "I think you are very very attractive. In fact I think you are better looking now then when I met you. I still find you incredibly sexy and you still give me a tingle when we kiss" After blowing off my comment (a very midwestern thing to do) he stopped and said "you haven't said anything like that in a long time" There you go. That is part of it. I too stopped saying wonderful things (as often as I should).

So, there it is. We take what we have for granted.

Perhaps- the people around me are used to me. Maybe I have just become plain white rice and after a while nothing but plain rice gets boring. Suddenly though - someone comes along (you) who hasn't ever seen white rice ... and I (the rice) am suddenly a treat. Maybe you are just blowing smoke up my skirt? I am confused, because your comments go against the message I get in my everyday life.

I am going to turn the comments off for this post. Because I am being honest when I say I am not searching for an ego boost here. I am just saying what is on my mind. Now you know.

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Note - I started this post after my first HNT post. I put it off, and just ran across it now. Since this topic is still on my mind I decided to post it. I didn't do much editing from the initial mental ramble that this was. So please forgive any mistakes..... if I look at it too much I won't post it.

Oh boy, I am in trouble

"Don't wait for tomorrow,

because yesterday's tomorrow

is today."

These words just came out of my 8 year old girly's mouth....

Oh boy, I am in trouble.

Not only is she going to be stunning but obviously amazingly wise.

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When I just stared at her she said "...what mom, it's true."

Yes, yes it is.


Alright it is Friday and I am off to a B-day party and then to the lake. I will be back by Saturday night I suppose. Have a rememberable weekend.

HNT - Shadows

I love the way photos look in contrast when shadows or bright light is used.

Sunlight

Kind of like me... there are light sides and there is a dark side....

Shadow

I was looking through my pics and realized that (lately) I might be a bit more fascinated by the dark side - as I have a whole lot of shadow pics... here are just a few:

No Rain, No Rainbows

If there is no rain

There can be no rainbow

I have had more then my fair share

of rain in my life.

I am happy that I am finally seeing

a few rainbows.

pics from flickr

The view is better here

I almost became one of those women

One who is bitter, harsh, and rude.
One who belittles her husband and thinks him an idiot

I almost became one of those women

You know them - they are beautiful but bitchy
They believe they are better and they judge

I could have become one of those women

The kind who uses sex as a reward that has to be earned
The kind where sex is a scheduled event.

It would have been easy to be one of those women

That wait to lose that last 10 pounds before they find sex interesting
Thinking their body effects their mate... (when really they don't have an issue - you do)
----oh that is a whole other post!---

I was one of those women
You've seen it done... thinking every time your man touches you
"He is after something."

I am so glad I did not become this person. I so clearly see others my age, in the group of people around me who are on this path. I saw a trail off through the bushes that the others were avoiding, staying off, not noticing... I being curious deviated my path and ended up here.

The view is much better here.


================
Edit - I realize that I wrote this today for two reasons

1) yesterday and today I feel myself slipping back -I feel bitchiness settling around me and I am scaring myself

2) my mom and dad are coming to town today - in about 15 minutes.... she is one of the women in this post. Bitter, mean, angry... this is contagious. I will have to fight to stay nice to my mom and not fall into her bitchy way trap. I will need a reality slap tonight.... sigh.

Dear Gods of Google

Why do I address this letter to the Google gods? Click here for the proof - there is a very reasonable argument here ;) (I am pretty sure they now control the weather now too)

So.... on with it.

Dear Gods of Google,

I see you, I have spotted you looking at my blog. You do show up after all on my site meter. I am more then pleased to have sparked your interest! ;) Maybe you too thought my kitchen shot was worthy of another look, or you find me witty, honest, and just a good read. I hope all of this is true.

However, do note. This is my spot where I come to hide. Hide from people I know. I say this because I have had more then one bloggy friend who has become Blog of Note, a highly sought after esteem for sure. (they too have seen you before hand via their site meter...)

I am and have been striving to be Blog of Note - however NOT on this blog.

If you find me to be intriguing enough on THIS blog - please know I am the same girl (in hiding) on my mommy blog. Feel free to email me for this link .... it can be our naughty little secret. Although if you really are gods you already know my mommy blog :) but you can check just to be sure....

In the mean time come back- often- you might find Wednesday night at 10:30 CST of interest to you *wink wink*.

Father's Day

I didn't know if I would post anything on this blog for Father's Day or not.

But, obviously.... I am

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I love my dad - still. (of course)

I don't have the little girl crush on him like when I was 7 but I still love him. (of course)

The reason that I decided to post over here where he won't see it is because I decided this was the perfect place to say this:

Dads are human

They f*ck up

They aren't around as much as we would like.

Not all dads take their kids fishing and to the back yard to play catch.

They do things that will scar you forever
(even if it is as little as missing your dance recital, or as big as hitting your mom)

HOWEVER -
But, they are the first man in your life.

They set the foundation for every man that is to follow.

Even absent dads do this. Probably more so.

My dad barely graduated high school, he still has a elementary level reading ability, he worked the better part of his life in a grain mill. He made extra money by building houses at night - self taught. He worked hard, always. He still does.

This is what I learned from my dad - how to work. How to be strong. How to laugh at myself. How to worry more about what is inside a person rather then the outside(this included myself). How to talk to complete strangers. How to handle yourself in public. The most important lesson was - to not take your anger out on others - those that did not provoke it.

Your "daddy" is your first love.
Although not all dads can be around all the time (if I wanted to see my dad I had to go work with him-was that all bad? hell no!) they influence you - more by what they do usually then what they say.

We are watching our dads, our kids are watching their dads. Sometimes it is not the time you set aside for your kids to "play", rather the example you give them while you are living and working. I don't regret not having nights filled with play, rather I am happy he taught me how to live.


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I am posting this without editing and re-editing. Without perfecting the sentences and the flow. I prefer this post to be raw - just like emotions

Crushed

I still develop crushes.

They are mostly sweet and innocent.

Can you have a crush on things like a salad, or other inanimate objects?

How about the guy at the Taco Bell drive through - he is dang cute!

I swear I have a salon crush on one of the ladies - she always gets my hair right.

How about blogging? I have blog crushes on both sides of my blogging world. (mommy blog and this one) they couldn't be more different though.

The crush I have on my mommy blog is another mommy blogger - really it is more of a friendship / idolization /love of her pictures / her life. We think similar but she is smarter then me (she is!). She expands my horizons.

The crush on this side of my blogging life...
yeah, well you never mind.
The secret is what makes it all the more fun - isn't it?
Maybe I have more then one?
I wouldn't doubt it.
I do know that I find myself falling
for people that make me feel good about myself
(something I lack in the RW)....
make me feel desirable.

Do you have a blog crush? I want to know.
Name names, or don't - answer yes or no...
I just want to know.



Oh- and what made you develop this crush?

Waxing

Bikini waxing/ Brazilian.... which do you prefer?

Confession - I do as little "grooming" as possible.
I figure I will do what is asked of me,
when he asks I do.

When he doesn't I don't.
Simple, like me.

However it is Father's Day, and he has asked.
So, in I go, today... gulp.

For someone who isn't on a regular waxing schedule I still get nervous... double gulp.

I am trying to find humor in this - hence this HILARIOUS youtube video-it really is funny!

Also - help a girl out. Tell me your funniest, most horrid, first time etc wax story... please, I need a good laugh and a little encouragement.

HNT - A Tie For Father's Day?

I know a tie may seem over done for Father's Day.
But, I still feel like it can be a great gift.


Like all things it depends upon what you do with it.

Ties are great for intimate dinners - if you need to get his attention - now.

But my favorite thing to do with a tie comes after dinner.
After the wine has been drunk and the candles blown out.
That is when the fun begins.

did you click?

Maybe, just maybe your guy needs a tie
(I would recommend two ;)
this Father's Day.

Now go check out the rest at O's

Memories from a Summer past

Songs conjure up memories. You hear the first two bars of music
and all of a sudden you can see it feel it taste it.
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I can still taste the sweat, smell the lake air... I remember the drive

the beer, the car hugging the corners, I was wearing a skirt,

windows down, CD player up

underwear tossed aside - did you throw them out the window? -
(I wonder if someone walking their dog found them the next morning)

It was slow and dream like. All inhibitions were gone. The beer helped with that

It was hot.

Why are some of my best memories surrounded by heat?

Hands that wandered, feet on the dash, head thrown back

laughter, where was it that we stopped?

an access a rest stop it didn't matter - nothing mattered.

Legs tangle, falling out of the car, shedding clothes,

the heat from the engine under the hood burns against my back,

you are burning on top of me.

"Hike up your skirt a little more and show your world to me" it's almost a growl

Legs spread, heat spread "you come crash into me."

Car lights swirl around as people go about their night life,
engines slow, turn then increase speed.

There are waves breaking. Is it the lake or the waves you are causing in my body?

"In your eyes, love, it glows so. I'm bare-boned and crazy... for you."

Rolling off we land on the grass

the difference from the hot hood to the cool ground is shocking.

Voices in the distance... can they here us?

Oh-- god damn-- I can't ... I can't

You will. You want to. Let go.

Eyes locked,
heat increasing, internal waves start rolling

"Into your heart I'll beat again / Sweet like candy to my soul"

each move becomes intentional, meant to drive me over the edge

You will, you can, you want to

I do, I can, I did......

"Ummm... How will I explain these grass stains on my back?"

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Amazing how the song remembers when-

Crash--
You've got your ball,
You've got your chain
Tied to me tight, tie me up again.
Who's got their claws
In you my friend?
Into your heart I'll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock,
And sweet you roll
Lost for you, I'm so lost for you

Oh, and you come crash into me
And I come into you
And I come into you
In a boy's dream
In a boy's dream

Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
I'm bare-boned and crazy... for you.

Oh, and you come crash into me
Baby, and I come into you
In a boy's dream
In a boy's dream

And if I've gone overboard
Then I'm begging you
To forgive me
In my haste
When I'm holding you so girl,
Close to me

Oh and you come crash into me, yeah
Baby, and I come into you
Hike up your skirt a little more And show the world to me Hike up your skirt a little more And show your world to me In a boy's dream
In a boy's dream

Oh, I watch you there
Through the window
And I stare at you
You wear nothing, but you
Wear it so well
Tied up and twisted,
The way I'd like to be
For you, for me, come crash into me, baby
Come crash into me, yeah

Crash into me...
Crash into me...
Crash into me...

You know, I'm the king of the castle,
You're the dirty rascal, crash into me.
Please crash into me, baby...

Oh, no no no...
Yes, I see the waves
Come and crash into me.
See the waves come and crash into me.
Crash into me.
=:=:=:=:=:=:=
It's here to listen to if you want, or not.


all photos from www.123rf.com

Relax

Today I am going to relax.

I still have piles and piles of laundry to do

But, I am going to relax.

I have to run around again later today

But for now I am going to relax.

I am going to try not to let my mind get the best of me

It doesn't know how to relax.

I was raised to work.

I only know how to be busy.

I need to learn how to relax.

I am a married yet single parent

So, even though I am married and my husband is my children's father, I am basically a single mom. This is due to the fact that my husband is working. He is in the same town, typically 15 - 30 minutes or less away from our house - but working none the less. I am home alone the vast majority of time.

I am alone now. I have been all day. I will be until bedtime tonight.

I am a single parent.

But, worse... if I REALLY were a single parent I think I would try harder then I am now. I wouldn't watch the clock and wait. I wouldn't wonder if and when I would be joined by my partner. I wouldn't.....

Plus - I would get every other weekend and Wednesdays off!

Sex Education

Who Knew?

Who knew that we as parents would be figuring out how to have "the talk" with our oldest already? He is going to be in 4th grade....

It came up in casual conversation the other day. "It" being the word ....

(Sex)

That word.

My 9 (almost 10) year old sprout mentioned that a boy at a bday party spelled "that word" using a kids fridge letter game. But, here is the deal -after he said that he shivered, stuck out his tongue, and said blahhh (fill in your own sound of yukkiness). Three things happen

I wondered 1) what he knew 2)who told him 3) why did he think (what ever it is he knew) was gross - I guess if I know the first two answers I could figure out #3.

Now this is not the first time this topic has come up - but to this point I have avoided, skirted, and outright ignored the topic... hey, he was only in third grade!
So.... I did what any good mom does - I called in dad!

Here is the other deal -

I do NOT want his information to be like the information

I received when I was growing up.

Sex was more of a threat then anything else.

I grew up thinking sex was bad... bad... bad.

This followed me almost into my thirties.
I truly think all I ever heard from my parents -was to keep my pants on...

well, gee, thanks. That explains it all!

(We did have sex ed in school. I guess my parent thought that followed by severe threats were enough.)

So, anyway - down dad went armed with the advice I gave him... just ask him if he has any questions - don't over-educate him! There was the barest of information shared on this first "chat" that stopped just short of how the sperm actually gets inside the mommy... yeah - his ONE question was how do babies get in the mommy's tummies. This was followed up with me handing him the "I wonder how..." encyclopedia turned to the page that discussed basically what had been covered - right next to the page that explains snot, kind of fitting I thought :)

I guess we have decided to take this in stages - a little bit of information at a time. But, information IS going to be shared. Sex is NOT going to be a bad thing. Something you should probably wait to do - but not a bad thing.

Still, I just didn't think we would have to even be thinking about how much information is enough until maybe next summer at this time - sigh...

When did you get your "sex education" and where did it come from? Any horror stories,(things to avoid) or advice on what to do (what worked for you)?

Where I want to be -vs- Where I am ....

Where I want to be -vs- where I am is hardly ever the same place

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This is where I would like to be today


Where I am instead....

Blending in... Sticking out

Sometimes

Sometimes I want to blend in.
Sometimes I want to stick out.
Yesterday was a day when both occurred.

I took the sprouts to the park for a little fun in the sun (since it made an appearance finally!) I put on my customary capri pants, white shirt and then because I ran out of time my favorite bball cap (I love hats!) then, as my own inside joke I added piggy tails.

I look like such a mom!

My mom look
Park, here we come

However (as you can read in the post below) last night was date night!
This is when I wanted to stick out a little bit more.
Maybe (hopefully) turn a few heads.
More importantly though I wanted to impress my man.

Going out for the evening

I believe that there really are times when you should blend in.
(I mean do you really want to be "that" mom at the park?)
Yet, I am happy that every once in awhile
I still get to play "dress up".


p.s. Date night was fabulous and all went according to plan.

Date Night .... and I have a plan

Tonight is date night.
I could not be more thrilled!

It has been a long hard Spring,
and the only time we have spent together
has been filled with business or sleep.

But that is going to change tonight.
From 5 p.m. on it will be us.....
and opportunity.

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Plus, I have plans.

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First dinner - it is a 45 minute
drive to the out of the way
(Midwestern version of)
Mexican joint

The drive

was very intentional

so that we can take that time
to relax.... slow down, and be
ready to enjoy ourselves

===========

Then we will drive about 20 minutes
(and a 15 minute hike)
to this fire tower.

At the top
I plan on hubby watching the
sun go down

This is the view he will see....

While I .....
well, just click
to see what my view
will look more like

I have plans and I could not be more excited!

Come back tomorrow...
I will be posting pics of me as mommy
and me ready for date night.
Isn't it amazing how we change our looks
to fit the occasion.
I am such a chameleon!

pic 1 and 2 taken by
me July '08
click thru from "art or porn"

HNT - Dessert and Deception

One of the tricks of being a fabulous "keeper of the house"

Is the art of deception.

Figuring out ways to make it look as though I have

Been busy all day when in reality - not so much.

I like to think it is being efficient really!



This includes cooking and baking.



I found this great dessert for two

That literally takes minutes to prepare

Yet is yummy enough to make it appear

That it took great effort.



The original recipe used pears - I don't care for pears

So I substituted apples and it works just as well... (so your choice)

Click to see alternate recipe*

Cran-Apple (or pear) Crisp

2 medium apples (or pears) peeled and sliced

1 Tsp lemon juice

1 Tbsp dried cranberries


1 Tbsp packed brown sugar

1 Tbsp butter melted

4 gingersnap cookies, crushed



Heat oven to 375 degrees F. Spray 8" baking dish with cooking spray. Place pears in casserole; sprinkle with lemon juice



In small bowl, mix remaining ingredients and sprinkle over apples (pears).



Cover; bake 30 to 40 minutes until apples are soft.



Serve warm with whipped cream.

*HOWEVER

If you are not into baking

you could always just present your man with an apple

and the can of whip cream and call yourself dessert!

If you haven't been over to O's yet

to see all the rest of the sweet stuff out there

click here and show him some link love

Sometimes we forget... it's just life

So yesterday I had a rough day.

The wearing of gears from an overworked engine

(my own internal motor)

Things on my mind,

Thoughts I was fighting with.

It was getting emotionally tough.

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Then, I chatted with a friend for awhile.
It is amazing how someone outside the issue
can see it so much clearer then
the person being sucked down by the whirlpool.

After I had a game plan.
I was feeling a little better.
I turned the radio on.
I heard this song.
It just fit.

Sometimes we forget - it's just life.....

Got a call last night from an old friends wife, said, I hate to bother you
But Johnny Ray fell off the wagon, hed been gone all afternoon
Well, I know my buddy, so I drove to Scullys and found him at the bar
Said, Hey Man, whats goin on, He said, I dont know where to start
Sarah's old car startin to fall apart and the washer quit last week
We had to put Mama in the nursing home and the baby's cuttin teeth

Sounds Like Life To Me
I didnt get much work this week and I got bills to pay
I said, I know this aint what you wanna hear but its what Im gonna say
Sounds like life to me, it aint no fantasy
It just a common case of everyday reality
Man, I know its tough but you gotta suck it up
To hear you talk youre caught up in some tragedy
It sounds like life to me

Well, his face turned red and he shook his head
He said, you dont understand, three kids and a wife depend on me
And Im just one man, top it off we just found out that Sarahs two months late
I said, Hey, bartender, set us up a round, we gotta celebrate
Sounds like life to me, aint no destiny
Yeah, the only thing for certain is uncertainty
You gotta hold on tight, just enjoy the ride
Get used to all this unpredictability, sounds like life
Man, I know its tough but you gotta suck it up
To hear you talk youre caught up in some tragedy
Sounds like life to me (sounds like life to me)
Sounds like life

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If you like it enough - you can listen....

Sometimes perfection is only skin deep

The sun casts a ray of light across my feet on the living room floor, the glow of green it brings with it after forcing it's way through the new leaves on the trees is truly surreal. Two of four of the sprouts are gone working with dad and two are peacefully watching t.v. My coffee is perfect - it is a new purchase, strong enough but not bitter (that would be a good way to describe a person). The cat purrs at my back as I type and I am warm and cozy.

Sounds perfect....

However, in reality - it is cold outside, and wet. It has not gotten above 60 degrees in days. Nor has the sun made an appearance in awhile. I slept fitfully, jaw clenched. Hubby is gone again - it is suppose to be his one week off. The two boys that are here find it funny to be in this farting contest....sigh - boys. I am alone again and have nothing to look forward to. I have an uneasy feeling I can't explain...

The reason I am writing these two different versions of my morning is not for pity or sympathy comments but rather to get a point across.

You can not judge what is going on with a person by how it seems with your initial look. I and others appear as if the sun is shining and the gods favor us - but look closer. Nobody is perfect nor is anyone's life. Everyone has issues. I am learning that the more perfect and together someone's life looks the more messed up it really is. People who have something to hide seem to do so with a facade of perfection.

I have a friend who has the best house and takes her kids to all the right activities, is a strong member of the community/church/school etc, and has a handsome husband. I now know she is also the girl barely holding it together. It recently came to light that for all these years her handsome spouse often sat in the basement drinking until he passed out. My other friend who was volunteer of the year did so as a way to stay out of her house - where her husband too was more often drunk then not. (Both men now have picked themselves up and try every day to right their wrongs. But these women are changed forever. They go through their days being unfairly judged by others who don't know....)

Family issues, job troubles, money woes, inner struggles, fertility issues, extended family problems, illness, infidelity, something that follows you from your past, the list goes on and on... we are not who we appear to be on the outside. We all have secrets. Something that we carry with us. Something that would change the way other people would look at us if they knew - the way they look at us differently when they do find out. We are just humans - humans are imperfect.

Don't judge people - just because it looks perfect on the outside does not mean it is so on the inside.

We're gonna love this

This was posted by Roxee Jade from (Because It Makes Me Smile) last week. Roxee and I are in the same boat. We both have blogs in mommy blog land. We have both fallen into writing toward our readers over there, censoring what we say and post due to who reads our stuff. Like myself too, she posted her first try last week at HNT on her new blog. Finding this and other similarities I found myself return to her blog. When she published the post below- I liked the idea so much that I asked her if I could post it on my blog too. She made me smile by saying yes. Go see what else is making Roxee smile. Here.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Just saying that makes me smile :)

I moved my follower link down at the bottom of the page. The biggest reason? Because I don't really care if people follow this blog.

This blog is solely for me... it's a selfish blog, one that focuses on whatever I want it to focus on.

I have another blog... well two actually, and sometimes I get to the point where I feel pressured to entertain, to not let those people down... all because I know that they follow me... that they take the time out of their schedules to read what I have to say. I can't wrap my mind around it.

Plus I have a contract with an advertising business and I signed up to post 5 times out of the week.

I have family and friends and other people that know me in Real Life that read those blogs... so I REALLY do have to somewhat sensor myself ... which if you knew me, says A LOT.

I mean I tend to say what's on my mind, but I'm not rude, and cannot be rude to someone to their face, most of the time, so it does get somewhat filtered before it spews from my mouth.

It will b e nice and somewhat freeing to be able to just say what I want to say.

Like I'd love to tell my one of my best friends since high school. "YOU ARE a flake! Have never been able to count on you"--but when you don't flake out on me, we are always laughing, which is why I still think of you as one of my BEST friends...

Or... to the guy at the grocery store with his button shirt unbuttoned to his waist... I would have loved to enlighten him and say, "your chest is WAY to hairy to be sportin that look--way WAY to hairy!"--when I say hairy, I mean Austin Powers hairy.


HA!... Just writing that makes me smile. Ahhhh I'm going to love this!

Why women can't hint

Simple - men don't get it.

Even an "obvious" hint.

Doesn't work

Not even kinda....

Learn it ladies

Life will be easier.

Now that's a problem

When is someone's problem your problem?

Something forgotten.

A missed phone call.

A stern look.

Nasty words (not exchanged, one sided).

Heart in stomach, instant headache.

When they blame you.

That is when it is now your problem?

An Affair of the Mind

Do you think an affair of the mind is an affair?

As I sat in my favorite little store downtown enjoying the best coffee in town, I was happy. I noticed small things - how the floor is worn and warped but perfect for this store, how the herbs in the aisle over made the whole place smell great, how the fruits lined up were so colorful and tempting, how at home I felt due to the staff's friendliness, and how the sun felt through the window on my chest which was finally able to be freed from it's winter sweater wear, and how the man coming around the corner was... hot!

Holy holy - wow!
Where did he come from?

Then from the back another and what the? around striking guy comes from the other aisle to check out another ....really hot man! They could have been brothers really - all of them. One had a pony tail (not my usual thing, but wow on him) one had distinct/amazing cheek bones and the first guy was just yummy. Suddenly the fruit wasn't looking as good and the coffee in my hand went unnoticed.

My mind wondered and it wondered in an interesting directions. Three guys - one fantasy.... there was a vibrating feeling between my legs, my heart was pounding and I am sure I was moments away from ...., then again, a vibration between my legs - oh whoa! snapping out of it, I realized my phone was causing the vibration. I answer it, slightly out of breath.

Luckily it was my best friend (not my hubby) she can always bring me back to reality. I excuse myself from the call and watch these three guys as their bodies seem to take up the entirety of this small store front. They seem to know each other, oh if I could just touch that one guys... they could.... I .......



left. I had to.




By the time I reached the car I was breathless.
=:=:=:=:=:-=
So, is an affair of the mind an affair?
Is flirting insatiably at work, even though there is no touching wrong.
Where is the line?
How about chatting on-line with someone.
You know if your better half read the chat it would not be pretty -
yet it is playful and done with the attitude of having fun.
In fact, just maybe, these sort of actions improved your long term marriage,
by importing a bit of excitement back into things....

Some of these things could actually help our relationships. For example:
When a guy notices me (with an appreciation, not a leer) it makes me walk a bit talker, sway a bit more. Knowing women think my better half is cute makes me keep him that much closer, possibly laying my hand all too close to his goods, like I marking my territory - which in turn gives him a little boost. A quick emailing telling me my hnt was hot.... makes me think there maybe is something still there worth something, etc...

Of course every relationship has different limits and rules. Mine is a conservative monogamous relationship. Look, but don't touch sort of rules.

So, when does it benefit the existing relationship and when is it crossing the line?
What do you think?

HNT - It's What's For Dinner

One of the hardest parts of being a stay at home mom is trying to come up with a dinner every night. What sounds yummy to me, the kids complain about. It seems like if I take two hours to cook something wonderful and well rounded they still complain and pick. So, I feel my effort was wasted. Yet Mac and Cheese isn't going to be on the menu every night.....

However, when I don't want to spend a lot of time cooking for little thanks, I have a few fall back meals that all four sprouts like 1)french toast 2) spaghetti 3) tacos 4) chicken w/ sweet potatoes (I know weird, but everyone likes it) 5) cold cereal or the easiest and usually the biggest hit is 6) a tray of fruit, cheese and crackers, with some kind of lunch meat.

The fun comes when the kids are in bed and hubby is finally on his way home and he is hungry. That is when it is fun to cook. However, last night after summing up what was in the fridge to fix and coming up with nothing,

I decided to serve something that required very little prep time and is always a favorite...


Beer and Me
*clicky clicky*

The beer for me, and me for.....


=:=:=:=:=:=:=

Now if you saw the beer in the second shot, either you are female, or the pic wasn't very good. Quick without looking back - what else was in my hand?

If you skimmed the 100 things about me. You know that I rely on validation far too much (#78 ) so, humor a girl and show her some comment love. It'll make it easier to post again next HNT.

A Sage Piece of Advice

Here is a sage piece of advice
(no reference to this Sage).

Even though it is 8:20p.m. and your hubby's truck pulls up, do not automatically assume it is him. In other words do not go bounding out of the house in only a t-shirt (too short to cover your ass-ets) and underwear - to give him a proper greeting.

Please, learn from my mistake !

Make sure it is truly him first. Because, see, this can cause for a bit of embarrassment for both you and the other person (who was not husband, but rather the college freshman boy who works for us!). Yeahhhhhh, oooooppppssss!

I Blog With Pictures

So, I was alone on my ritualistic torture
(aka- walk) this morning
(because my neighbor was too lazy to get out of bed grrrrr)

I found myself having this conversation in my head:

I noticed that alot of people on "this side" of the blogosphere don't use a lot of pictures in their blogs.

Yes, but I like using pictures (yeah creepy - I was answering myself, I did say I was having a conversation!)

But, really if you want people to read what you are writing you should try to fit in, you know, make it look the same.

Yeah, I suppose so (insert thinking - which is hard to do at 5:30 am especially when the temp was a friggin 31 degrees)
But, really, I like blogging with pictures. I am a visual person. I like pictures!

Now, don't go against the flow!

Brain goes silent so I can think at God awful hour in freezing temp....
many steps later I came up with this response!

Screw you voice in my head. I am sick of doing what I am "suppose to" what others "expect of me"!!! If I want to blog with pictures I am going to. If people don't read my posts because they have pictures in them - so what! This blog is for ME this time. My other blog has turned into a "what people expect" and what is "right" sort of a blog. This blog, this one here, is for me!

So, there you have it - the voices in my head have spoken!
And the I don't give a sh*t voice (the one in italics) has won!

There will be pictures - most of which I will steal off the internet, most of which I will link to their rightful owners just to be nice, but, pictures none the less! So, deal with it.

See you tomorrow for a picture that is more naked then not - maybe even more then half ;P

Guess I'll Just Dream

I'm tired.
I am just so very tired today and yet,

I have no good excuse.

pic from here

Although, I did get up at 5:30 a.m. to go for my ritualistic torture,
I mean walk -
still trying to fit back into those summer shorts
(which it has been far too cold to wear anyway)

But, I am still tired. I think I am tired from working.
In my "real" life I am a stay at home mom (for one more year),
but that isn't the whole story.
We own a business and this business is Spring based....
so ----we have been busy-----
Hubby figured he worked over 400 hours in less then 4 weeks.
I have been picking up the slack,
plus still pulling mommy (and daddy) duty.

I need a vacation -
somewhere where the sun hasn't taken a hiatus.
Where there is white sand and turquoise water. (I hear those places really do exist, they aren't just in pictures)

I need some "alone" time with hubby -
hell, I'd just take some time away
with someone nice to look at that gives great massages

(of which hubby does not, but, more on that later)

pic from here

However, the sun has decided to be a no show again today,
I don't have to be responsible for making it look like I worked until later tonight....
so, I just may put on a movie for sprout and go back to bed for one more hour and dream......

Why Women Over 30 Are Sexy

Being a woman in my 30's this headline on MSN.com caught my attention.

Who would think women in their 30's were sexier than those in their 20's?
Well as it turns out - men in their 30's do!

Really, this does makes sense to me.
I was actually thinking about this the other day.
I notice the men that I now find attractive
are men my age.
(I think I would beat my head on the table if I had to sit and
talk with a 20ish boy for too long... we are just
not in the same place!)

They are daddies, they are NOT 20. I see a 20ish boy and I think "oh, he's cute", but honestly I am not thinking the thoughts I shouldn't be about them
(thank goodness, cuz at this point in my life that would be
sick and wrong!)

I am not in the market for a man, but, if I was I know that I would be looking for someone under 40 but over 35, etc etc.... So, ladies - you smart, evolved, confident, ladies with your head straight on your shoulders I raise my beer to you - it turns out, we still got it going on.

(Don't worry girls in your 20's your flat stomach and perky boobs still bring your body out on top over ours. Use it to your advantage now... I wish I would have more)

Anyway - here is the article, enjoy!

Why Women Over 30 Are Sexy By Maura Kelly

As a 30-something woman, she worries that guys aren't into her type, but several male friends set her straight and reveal that women over thirty may be even more attractive than the 20-somethings she is intimidated by.

I recently e-mailed a bunch of my male friends to ask them what they thou

ght of my flirting fears. Was I right to think that men would never be interested in having me — a 30-something woman who might not be particularly attractive — approach them randomly when there's a world full of hot 20-somethings pretty enough to be reality TV-show stars floating around New York at all times whom those dudes could be talking to instead?

No! As it turns out, I was wrong! My stupendous friends straightened me out, and told me why they think 30-somethings are sexy — and often, for them, even more appealing than younger women. (Now, for all you 20-somethings who are reading, I hope you know this is not meant to alienate you; the assumption here is t hat you've got the natural beauty of youth on your side. And I actually think my guy friends have a few insights that apply generally to what's sexy, that would be interesting for women of all ages.)

34-year-old Raoul Djukanovic* says: Why would I talk to someone over 30? Well, because I'm over 30. But I'd talk to anyone who talked to me with spirit, young or old. If someone's being open and sincere, that's attractive.

Johnny Gilbane, 36: I'm all about women over 30 — because they have realized, like I have, that relationships aren't perfect

Find the rest of the article here

Don't count us as old
yet, just more
experienced.