The Father's Song (Matt Redman)
Verse 1
I have heard so many songs
Listened to a thousand tongues
But there is one
That sounds above them all
The Fathers song
The Fathers love
You sung it over me and for eternity
Its written on my heart
CHORUS:
Heavens perfect melody
The Creators symphony
You are singing over me
The Fathers song
Heavens perfect mystery
The king of love has sent for me
And now you're singing over me
The Fathers song
[Verse 1]
[CHORUS]
Its Heavens perfect mystery
The king of love has sent for me
And now you're singing over me
The Fathers song
The Fathers song
The Fathers love
You sung it over me and for eternity
Its written on my heart
Its written on my heart
You sing it over me
Father
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esapsbVXXsc)
Amazed once again, how He notices little people like me..what I need at a point in time, and fills that gap in my heart which I didn't even know was there...
Assurance through a song, He knows it reaches me at the deepest and most intimate level.
17th June was Fathers' Day, ZP had mentioned to me that thoughts about me had come to his mind during church service the day before Father's Day, when his pastor had mentioned that for those of us whose earthly father was already not with them, God the Father is there..
20th June, my dad's 6th death anniversary...I went for a church meeting at night, and "The Father's Song" was sung as the song before we started the meeting...I remember, LH had wanted to start off the session with a simple worship song, and just decided to sing The Father's Song...it was pain and joy all at the same time, the pain of the loss 6 years ago, and yet to know that God reaches to me and cares for a minute little character like me..amazed, and humbled...
Thank You, for singing over me The Father's Song...
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Sunday, January 06, 2013
Busyness is not worthiness
Happy new year one and all :)
Covenant Service on 31st Dec 2012 in church last year gave me a big insight and much to chew on for 2013...that is,
"Busy" is a buzz word that people use to measure their self-worth, it gives people the feeling that they are important and useful, and it's almost like the 2nd nature reply to the question "So how have you been?".
Those words really rang an alarm bell when I heard them. I remember when I started the year in the new environment, a month or two on, I began to feel guilty, guilty for not having to work as crazily as I did previously. I felt lost and almost felt a little useless, because I knew all my ex-colleagues were working their butts off and fighting a war almost every other day to prepare the kids for the big 'O's, and there I was, not having to return to work on Saturdays at all (unlike in the previous year, where I was at work every single Saturday from March all the way till October).
I had unintentionally tagged my self-worth and importance to how busy I was, such that not being as busy as before actually lowered my self-esteem as an educator. Yes of course there was also the emotional part of having left an old familiar environment with the most lovely people as colleagues, as well as the kiddos whom I really missed...all that made it worse and made me doubt my decision to move a million times. It made me feel miserable and directionless, and along with many other things in my new environment that bothered me, I couldn't see how this was part of a big plan that was good.
I had not seen the goodness of the time that was given me to rest, and connect with God. And I generally spent the year in frustration and regret, very rarely embracing my new environment.
Something else that my pastor said that lit up a little light in my mind, that is
"...rest is not just inactivity, but rest is ultimately intimacy with the (heavenly) Father. When we have that intimacy, we may be actually engaged in activity, but we are resting. Would you like to see that paradox lived out in your life, having that intimacy with the Lord and being rested in Him, and THEN being effective in the things that you're doing.." - Pastor Joshua Sudharman
To a certain extent, I am sometimes guilty of grumbling about my new role in church, as vocal leader. I never connected that service as a step towards the intimacy with Him, and how that would give me rest for my soul, to fuel me for my daily life.
The last thing which I gleaned over 2012, is my perspective towards wives submitting to husbands.
I've heard this passage read countless times at the countless weddings which I have attended over the last 10 years or so, and yet only now did I truly connected that to my attitude towards my prospective partner. I remember how I used to think that my friends were being pushovers and overly giving into their boyfriend's demands, and how I thought I would have handled their situations had I been the one in their shoes. On hindsight, I saw the self-centredness in my reactions, and how I viewed my rights as being more important than submission out of love.
I never truly understood that being in a relationship was one of giving up personal rights, just like how Christ gave up his rights for us.
I'm glad I managed to learn some lessons in 2012...and in approaching 2013, though I know that my path will still be undulating and uncertain....
...at the very least, I know He holds my tomorrow, and my self-worth is not equated to busyness, but to my intimacy with Him :)
And as I end off...this song hums at the back of my mind..
" I don't know about tomorrow;
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to grey.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said.
And today I'll walk beside Him
For He know what is ahead.
Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand.
But I know who holds tomorrow,
And I know who holds my hand."
Covenant Service on 31st Dec 2012 in church last year gave me a big insight and much to chew on for 2013...that is,
"Busy" is a buzz word that people use to measure their self-worth, it gives people the feeling that they are important and useful, and it's almost like the 2nd nature reply to the question "So how have you been?".
Those words really rang an alarm bell when I heard them. I remember when I started the year in the new environment, a month or two on, I began to feel guilty, guilty for not having to work as crazily as I did previously. I felt lost and almost felt a little useless, because I knew all my ex-colleagues were working their butts off and fighting a war almost every other day to prepare the kids for the big 'O's, and there I was, not having to return to work on Saturdays at all (unlike in the previous year, where I was at work every single Saturday from March all the way till October).
I had unintentionally tagged my self-worth and importance to how busy I was, such that not being as busy as before actually lowered my self-esteem as an educator. Yes of course there was also the emotional part of having left an old familiar environment with the most lovely people as colleagues, as well as the kiddos whom I really missed...all that made it worse and made me doubt my decision to move a million times. It made me feel miserable and directionless, and along with many other things in my new environment that bothered me, I couldn't see how this was part of a big plan that was good.
I had not seen the goodness of the time that was given me to rest, and connect with God. And I generally spent the year in frustration and regret, very rarely embracing my new environment.
Something else that my pastor said that lit up a little light in my mind, that is
"...rest is not just inactivity, but rest is ultimately intimacy with the (heavenly) Father. When we have that intimacy, we may be actually engaged in activity, but we are resting. Would you like to see that paradox lived out in your life, having that intimacy with the Lord and being rested in Him, and THEN being effective in the things that you're doing.." - Pastor Joshua Sudharman
To a certain extent, I am sometimes guilty of grumbling about my new role in church, as vocal leader. I never connected that service as a step towards the intimacy with Him, and how that would give me rest for my soul, to fuel me for my daily life.
The last thing which I gleaned over 2012, is my perspective towards wives submitting to husbands.
Ephesians 5:22-28
New International Version (NIV)
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
I've heard this passage read countless times at the countless weddings which I have attended over the last 10 years or so, and yet only now did I truly connected that to my attitude towards my prospective partner. I remember how I used to think that my friends were being pushovers and overly giving into their boyfriend's demands, and how I thought I would have handled their situations had I been the one in their shoes. On hindsight, I saw the self-centredness in my reactions, and how I viewed my rights as being more important than submission out of love.
I never truly understood that being in a relationship was one of giving up personal rights, just like how Christ gave up his rights for us.
I'm glad I managed to learn some lessons in 2012...and in approaching 2013, though I know that my path will still be undulating and uncertain....
And as I end off...this song hums at the back of my mind..
" I don't know about tomorrow;
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to grey.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said.
And today I'll walk beside Him
For He know what is ahead.
Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand.
But I know who holds tomorrow,
And I know who holds my hand."
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