A heart that can't bear to let go...

*sniff*

I'll be home for Christmas...

So my two weeks stint in Melbourne ends today...will be heading to the airport to catch my 5pm flight home to Singapore. Did I enjoy my break in Melbourne? I guess I did to a certain extent..except for the fact that I'm kind of "handicapped" by my ankle, which I still don't really have an idea of how serious its injury is till now other than for the fact that it's not fractured. Walking about with 2 walking sticks in my hands is really not a very enjoyable experience..but I guess, it's the spending time with family that's important. So what's on my plate after I touch down? 1. Appointment with Orthopedic for an MRI to checkout the extent of the injury to ankle 2. Pack table in CH to shift over to HC/Scan all materials which I don't wanna shift over 3. Prepare materials for new term 4. Prepare scheme of work for level I'm coordinating 5. Meet-ups with various people for Christmas before new year comes 6. Mental preparation for new kids, new colleagues, new environment *gulp* I have to do all that before 1 Jan...hmm..I think I win already... I've not even gone over yet, but I already feel my heart aching from missing all that I've held dear to my heart for the past 7.5 years...

Shit happened

It was my last conquest,a place that I have come to love and be familiar with over the last 7 years.. I went with much anticipation, having trained up more than ever before, I was ready, for the tough challenge ahead. It was also, my last expedition with a unit I've come to adore, it was meant to have ended on a high note of determination, endurance, and finally, success.

But it was not to be. Everything that I had prepared and looked forward to, came to naught when I tripped and injured my ankle. Yes it was a freak accident I know, but it doesn't change the fact that it happened. I had caused the whole team their view from the top, the elation of having tried and reached eventual success, and I had to borrow the strength of my team to return to safety.

Was it my fault? "shit happens, it was an accident.." Yes I know,no one pointed a finger at me, at least outwardly no one did..something that comforted me, yet increased my sense of regret and guilt towards the team.  I couldn't help but see that this trip had not reached it's original objective that was set out.  Yes, shit happens, but I didn't expect it to happen to me.

I'm greatly disappointed..to the point of frustration.. the lessons to be learnt, are really cutting deep into my heart..
The lesson of accepting failure...the lesson of managing self-expectation...the lesson of what it means to be in a team....  There's much to be learnt..and lots to let go off before I can move on..

Dear God..please help me... :(

Long overdue post...and, is it the end of the year already??

So, I did tell myself that I must try to hit the target of at least 1-2 posts per month this year..and look at the side bar, I've only written 8 posts this year:S  *oops*  Haha I totally attribute it to my being on Facebook more often nowadays, and uploading photos onto FB and writing comments there, has definitely made me lazier to blog than ever.

So here I am, trying to keep this space alive :)

It's October, exactly 2 weeks from the last day of school.  Where has all the time gone??  Goodness me...really, week after week just passes me.  I still remember in Term 3, how every Friday I'd dread Saturday approaching because I'd be in school at a weird timing of 1130 - 1415 for Sec 4 remedials as my class is so popular, ALL teachers embrace Sat remedials with them :p  But I do pity the kids sometimes..having to attend remedials on Sat from 8-10am, then 10-1130, and 1130 - 1415.  But such is the demand of being a modern student in Singapore, getting above 10 pts at the 'O' Levels leaves one with hardly any choice to make if they were targetting the top half of the JCs.  Yes, half, not top tier.  In fact, I think if I were a student now, I wouldn't have qualified for my JC!  Glad I'm the cher, and not the student now :)

My latest mini motivation for the Sec4s while doing their mock test last Sat morning:)  Haha..little things to keep them going I guess...

Last Fri was farewell assembly for the Sec4s...it's funny how you seem to always say that you don't love them, and you can't wait for them to take their O's so you don't have to care about them anymore, but yet, when it really comes the time for farewell, you feel your heart getting tugged when you hear them say "how come you weren't there to take pictures with us after the assembly?", and "we couldn't find you even in the staffroom!!", and "why didn't you join us for dinner??"....awww....*sniff*

Make-up picture with a couple of kiddos taken after the Mock test on Sat morning.. :)

I guess deep down, for some strange reason, for all the pain that I went through in trying to push their grades up, I've unknowingly grown to love them (well at least enough of them) in some way...
All the best guys, and like I wanted to say in the farewell video (which in the end was not put into the farewell video), press on! It'd be over before you know it ;)

Am waiting for some important news this week...hmmm...not really sure what to expect, nor how to react... But what I do know, is that God's assurance is there :)
I've not heard God speak to me so clearly for a long time, or perhaps, it's because I haven't sought Him with such urgency and constancy for way too long..
Warms my heart to hear Him say 2 things to me last month amidst my frantic and nervous prayers..

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
- Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

"No eye has seen... no ear has heard...the good that the Lord has prepared for those who wait on Him to hear  His voice..'I am the Potter and you are the clay' "

With this, no matter the outcome, I believe I am at peace.. :)



Funny shirt from the land of smiles :P

When Z saw this, she knew straightaway that I was destined to buy this shirt :P Wahaha :P

This is one out of the 6 T-shirts I got in my recent trip to Bangkok, did a major T-shirt haulover and cleared out some of my old t-shirts when I got home :)

My half written JUNE post: The "hols" are finally here!!

Funny how I always seem to type a post halfway, and then not finish it :p

So here's my half-written post written in the 2nd week of June :P

__________________________________________________________________________________

I  am proud to say, I have survived 7 sessions of remediation over the last 2 weeks.  SEVEN.  SEVEN!?!  My goodness, just how did I manage to do that.  Oh yes, and another magnificent feat that I did, was to sleep a total of 4 hours over 2 nights because I was rushing to mark 2 S4 tests to return to them during their remedials amidst an ncc camp.  How did I do that?  I also don't know.  Haha, I guess when push comes to shove, and you gotta get things done, you'll just get it done. :)  For a while, I thought I had lost that kinda drive to stay up to get things done, but I guess, there's still a bit of it left in me :)

So this is my mom, who's currently away on a 3 MONTHS trip to Canada, Spain, USA.  Jealous? :)

Haha, oh well, good for her to travel while she's still healthy and able to I guess.  So i'm most happy and supportive of her going for trips :)

And this is my bday present from my good friends at work :D  Z says it looks like it could be used as an advertisement :P  Hehe..for the uninformed, it's a pair of fitflops :)  And no, I didn't do a typo just now, it's really called FITflops ;)  Apparently it's suppose to help tone your butt and thighs while you're walking...so, you're probably going to ask me has it been working so far? Well, I don't know :P  But it sure is a comfy pretty pair of slippers :)

 Introducing.......*drum roll*.........my resident void deck cat :) Haha, isn't she cute?

I intruded into her afternoon nap to snap pictures of her stretching, sunbathing and sleeping at the same time at the void deck..

Haha, amazed at how she just sprawls all over the floor :P  Oh and I affectionately call her the "sore throat cat". :)  Because, when she tries to let out a "meow", she sounds like she's got a piece of sandpaper stuck in her throat :P  VERY cute :)

The only nice thing about our conspicuously boiling weather...

I must say, I think I almost died while making my way to an ice-cream shop from my car, which was parked a mere less than 200 metres away.  Cause of death? THE HORRENDOUS HEAT.  I was literally running to the pockets of shade along the way so that I wouldn't melt into a puddle! :s  Horrendous...

The ONLY good thing that comes out of this ridiculously boiling temperature, is, how the sun dresses things in gold:)

This tree is right outside my bedroom window:) When I saw it, I couldn't resist grabbing my camera to take shots of it...it's amazing how bright sunlight transforms this dull-looking tree into one which exudes exuberance...simple lovely to look at:)

Best birthday gift

My old boy S called me to say he's been awarded the scholarship that he was applying for...
"Thanks Ms Chow for writing the testimonial, I got it :)"

It's called AGE

My friend A got me this little Mr Bean ice-cream stall...isn't it cute?  It had to be put together like Lego..and no, I didn't put it together, my 2 old boys ZY and G did it for me...thanks ;)

Many of the old boys came back for the Leaders Camp BBQ, was really nice seeing the old familiar faces again..somehow, I really miss this particular batch..

As I said, I'm a sentimental person, and I think as a person gets older, they tend to get more and more sentimental.  I find that I have been spending more time than ever thinking back about my years in the service, thinking back to my batches of boys who have graduated, thinking back to the years I was in university, in JC, in secondary school.  Perhaps it's because I currently have boys in all those stages of life that I had been at, some entering Uni, some just entered JC..hearing them talk about their life now, makes me think back to the days when I was a student too...and the choices I made then...and whether they were good ones...and what bad decisions did I make..  I must say, sometimes it gets overwhelming recalling the past, but I guess it's part of growing up too..

With age, I realised, also comes the weakening of one's body.  I used to be able to endure late nights all week, crash during the weekends, and be raring to go when Monday came.  But just 2 weekends ago, I was down the whole weekend due to a terrible cough and throat, and the week that came after that, was all a blur because of the cough and cold medicine, and eventually, antibiotics.

And these 2 days, I had migraine, for TWO days.  Even with panadol, it didn't seem to get better.

Made me recall a statement a colleague said to me a couple of weeks back.  I was remarking to him that I felt so tired everyday, I just kept falling asleep on my desk due to a camp that was held over a weekend during the term.  And my colleague just told me as a matter of factly, "bick, it's called AGE."

Haha...ageing sure takes some getting used to....

Photo competition entry

Nope I have not sent these photos for some big photography contest ;)  I however did send these in for my Learning Journey's photo competition though.. Hope one of them gets picked by the judges :p

Frenzy marking period!

Yes, it is the time of the term where chers have to be in a marking frenzy... have been marking frenzily to prepare my kids for their common assessments...

So to reward myself for working so hard that I'm on the verge of falling tremendously sick...I just placed my order online for....................................



..................this!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D

For the not-so-informed, it's a Fujifilm Instax Mini 25 polaroid camera ;) Can't wait for it to arrive!! :)

Quick quick quick...come to mama... :p

Hello 2011:)

Yes, I know 2011 has already started 1.5 months ago.  But busyness keeps me from posting, though there's much to post about.

In fact, I gotta get back to marking NOW!  So, here's just a short post to ascertain that I'm still alive, and I'll be back (probably in 2 weeks) to post more about CNY and Learning Journey :p

But to sum it up, new year..new class..my ex-students are now my colleagues.. :)

My new form class ;)

Tata for now...