2006.

this year has been largely, in retrospect, a good year to me.

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there was of course, like any other my fair share of pain, anger, loneliness, disappointment, guilt and all.. but there was also the wonderful moments that more than compensated for the bad. i truely believe that i would not have lived 2006 any other way.

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i'm thankful for the new people i got to meet, the living of a dream, the satisfaction of finally finishing up and moving on to a next phase in life (however hard it may be...), the new lessons i got to learn, the old ones i get to relearn, the experience gathered along the way...

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i believe i've grown a little.

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i know the coming year wont be easy for me, but i know too that it'll be worth it.

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i hope you all had fun in 2006 too! enjoy the last of it and cya all in the new year! :)

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"keep smiling, for the smiles it brings if not for anything else." ;)

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i'll keep smiling, i'll keep walking.

=)

smile!

seven.

i like someone. but she's attached! (so that was the easy bit...) :P

how do i know if she's the one if i cant get to know her better? and how do i get to know her better if i shouldnt be asking her out all the time?

why?

cos i like what i see and know. and i like it enough to overlook on the above-mentioned obvious problem.

so what's next?

help.

shit happens...

have you ever felt like doing something but knew that logically you shouldn't?

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Cognitive dissonance

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the internal conflict it causes can and will bring down anyone that is unfortunate enough to experience it. these are the times when the thoughts, the actions and the words all dont match up. if only things were a simple yes or no, a must or a must not, then life would be comparitively simpler too.

.

but no.

.

that just isnt the way things work, and each contributes a bit part to the mystery of life in its own twisted way. which makes it so much more interesting. so much more worth living for, the way i see it anyways.. =P

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the disconnected thoughts. the senseless words.

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whoever said we have to make sense all the time? =)

happy holidays!

once again it is the time of the year again, when the rains pay us a visit a lil too often and when everyone is in a celebratory mood with christmas and new year so close to each other. this year was no exception. cept for the fact that i'll not be having anymore school holidays anytime soon. booo...

ohwells, lucky for the fact that i have to clear what pitiful amounts of leave i have, i now can relax for abit before the mostly lifeless days and short nights hit me again! let me be prepared... and cya all when the madness dies down! meanwhile, have a good one! ;)

i try.

woots! i've almost gotten my insurance thingy sorted out. that just leaves abit more of the pesky budgeting issues, abit of deciding which mobile plan to get and i'll probably be set to concentrate fully on work (work for saving towards dreams la... i'm not that mad about work work itself yet)! :P

these weeks after the DnD were pretty hectic imho. a new engagement and lots of moving around singapore. unclear deadlines that were revealed only too late added to the problem tho. i'd probably not want to spend a whole sunday in office again but it will be a technical impossibility, given the fast approaching peak period in audit. lucky thing here is that most of the people in my unit are pretty nice and helpful, which always makes things a whole lot easier.

a life of joy is what we seek

but oft it's not within our reach

so live it well we all must try

for happiness we just cant buy

DXL.

it was a night that was to be glamorous. an awards-styled show that was to be the annual company dinner and dance. being relatively new in the company didnt matter too much because there's just so many familiar faces at work and the people i've met so far at work have been so very nice. if not for the ushering duty i had, i'm sure it would have be just a lil better.. from what i've heard so far this year's event was much better than the last... if only they made that much anticipated payrise announcment. damn... :P

that motorshow..

the genius of a driver...

that cookout..

waking so damn early in the morning for food.
the menu.
behind the scenes. :)

back on earth.

work this week feels just a wee bit scarier than before and from this point only scarier things can come by. wrapped up my first engagement after almost a month at the client's in newton and it has been a fun experience. fun impossible? wells only impossible it BOTH the team AND the client sucks. but this time i was lucky both were pretty alright. :)

been heading back to the ofc in the evenings to tie up the day's work and it sure is quite tiring just going around like that. i spose in the coming weeks when i'm supposedly to be in tuas, the ofc i wont see so much of. i tink. :S

hmmm... i'm still sleepy. need energy. meanwhile the weekend has been pretty alright. a ginormous cookout yest at the sisters' and a visit to the 8th singapore motorshow today. the bed calls... laters! ;)

silly ideas.

every once in a while silly ideas magically appear somewhere in the vicinity of my head and before i know it i have happily allowed myself to get sold on it. hmmm... its fun sometimes but sometimes its just terribly dangerous, to both the financial and psychological wellbeing of oneself. i dont make too much sense, but its ok. the true purpose of it all should dawn on me soon. i hope. :)

keep the faith."

my crazed sanity."

restless days...

it has been a long time since i've blogged but its only because i'm too lazy too! :) most times all i wanna do after work is to come home and veg out... but that isnt really an option for me, so i just indulge by vegging out a lil before i sleep. :P

the days have been going by pretty quickly but i still have lots to organise and sort before i can say i'm set. erm... well you see, my room is STILL largely messy and that includes everything in it. then there's the budgeting that never fails to give headaches at times. i really think what i need to do is to force myself to set time for myself! hmmm... easier said than done. :)

all i can say is that i'm lucky work hasnt been terrible but it will ...very very soon, i foresee it. :(

...can xmas come faster? keke ;)

a harrowing nite...

work is work is work.

one week into work and all i can say is that, although it aint the best of jobs, it will be a good start with plenty of chances for continual learning. so i'll do my best, lead this not too glamorous life, earning what little to get me by..

"i'll survive. dont we all?" :)

...thus work is work is work.

a distant past.

a few of my favs whenever i get the chance to...

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- red centre, northern territory - the last sunrise before saying goodbye.
to almost everyone on the wayward tour to uluru aka ayers rock.
our tourist shot. :)
7 of us then headed down toward adelaide...
where we stopped for photos and a chat with klaus the crazy german cameller.

.
- darwin, northern territory -
sunset at mindel beach in darwin.
where the five of us waited.
and our patience paid off.

home.

After being home for close to two weeks, i think i'm more or less settled now. the hardest bit being the weather, leaving the nice and cool of perth to return to the hot and humid of singapore. then there is the problem of the haze that's caused by the forest fires in indonesia, something that i've been fortunate to avoid for the past three years by returning only in nov for my summer hols. i miss perth, for the clean air if not anything else. sigh.

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i'm not sure if there is a proper name for it, but i call what i felt when i arrived home 're-entry disorientation'. but its probably a convenient excuse to slack for a couple of weeks. :P no, its just withdrawal symptoms of not travelling anymore! quite likely i reckon. :)

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after what i'd like to call a 'life re-defining' two over months of travelling, it will be hard to look at certain things the same way again. i definitely will not be too comfy (or happy) with the thought of staying put for a couple of years (at least till i can afford my next trip). :P i look at things at home different, more often than not thru the eyes of a 'traveller'. home, however small, has much more to offer to anyone. but the lure of something that has always been there lessens, the same is true for everything else i spose. so as i set out on this part of life back home, i'll be trying my darnest not to loose my magic glasses, those that make like so much better. ;)

.

the race will not beat me. disillusion must not set in!

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being home, might just be what i need now. :)

this life and the next.

the time has come to say goodbye to what has been a home away from home for the past three years. three good and trying years but three that imho was well spent. from the passing faces to the distant friendships, those i've said my final goodbyes to and others i promise to meet again. thank you for sharing this amazing experience.

...i am ready now...take me there.

graduation.

having collected the academic gown in preparation for the convocation tonight, i cant help but take stock of what it all means. most of my coursemates have already secure a job back home and this is the price i pay for not starting my job search straightaway i spose. ohwells, its a price i'd gladly pay but i may be speaking too early. when i touch home there will be so much to do and most important of all i have to secure a job, and a good one if possible of course! :)

the dread is there and i cannot lie, but when it has to be done one just has to try hard. often its not the job that effort that kills, but the fear that does. wish me luck! :P

.

"It's coming round again

The slowly creeping hand

Of time and its command

Soon enough it comes

and settles in its place

Its shadow in my face

Puts pressure in my day

.

This life well it's slipping right through my hands

These days turned out nothing like I had planned

.

It's coming round again

The slowly creeping hand

Of time and its demands

It settles in its place

Its shadow in my face

Undignified and lame

.

This life well it's slipping right through my hands

These days turned out nothing like I had planned

Control well it's slipping right through my hands

These days turned out nothing like I had planned

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Soon enough it comes

Soon enough it comes

To tie us down"

.

these days - powderfinger

[tripdiary] the end.

ok tonight will be the last time i'll be spending 'alone' in awhile. am back once again in sydney and tomorrow morning i get to see my family as they fly in from singapore! till now i've not really found the time to sit down properly and write my diary (or what i'd like to call a diary :P). so both that and this blog have been pretty empty most of the time. (mental note: find time..) but i wont be finding any spare time soon i reckon. after a coupla days in syd we fly to tassie for abit before heading back to perth by the 15th. i think i will be home by oct. booo...

i dont want this to end, but time and again i get reminded that its all about the journey and not about the destination. and i have to say this has been a good journey, one full of new experiences and interesting people that i will miss and hopefully meet again in life. i've had my share of fun and abit for now, its almost time to take the next step...

anyyyways, i just came online to post some pics... so i better get going. :P

"travelling is great,

but even too much fun can be tiring.

so take a break if needed,

but dont forget to keep moving on."

[tripdiary] faced the outback.

eight days practically in the middle of nowhere. lovely. :)

[tripdiary] going wayward...

coooooooober pedyyyyyy.....opal capital of the world!

slept underground last night and it was a lil spooky actually... :S

okbye for now :)

[tripdiary] in a town like alice..

finally the time has come for me to finish up what has been a magical two months for me with a blast! booboo.. so in two days i'll be hopping on a bus and heading out into the red sands of the aussie outback doing what i love most... camping! :) i'm hoping it will be good and i do think it will be awesome! but i keep my fingers crossed! ;)

*

being on the move for so long has allowed me to see this beautiful world down under from a different perspective, and it has also given me the chance to experience so much in so many ways. with so many different thoughts its a lil hard to put in down in words at once and i reckon it will have to wait till after all of this before i am able to do so. from the first train journey, to the first new city, the first night alone in an unfamiliar town, to the first pub crawl with newfound friends on the road, thru worrying times, fun times, to magical sunrises and sunsets, to sad farewells with people you're not sure if you'll ever meet again, i will never be able to get over it all. it is something that i believe everyone ought to do at least once in each lifetime. its not about how much one has to spend, because at the end of the day it will never be enough! :P but it is about spending within means and putting aside a lil time for a lil crazy adventure!! ;)

*

ok time to go find a proper internet cafe to do pics! ta`

*

"But we're never gonna survive, unless...

We get a little crazy

No we're never gonna survive, unless...

We are a little... crazy"

*

Alanis Morissette - Crazy

[tripdiary] sunnyside.

it seems like its been so long, but maybe its just the trains that made it seem so. finally arrived in darwin after so long and the heat feels so much like home. :S lucky i'm only here for two days but i have a feeling that i wont wanna leave when time runs out! :P

hmm...

[tripdiary] spoiled.

back in ade now after a lovely trip on the indianpacific! i reckon the crew wanted to make sure i stayed sane after travelling so much on the trains, so they got me upgraded to redkangaroo sleeper cabins! woots! it might not sound much, but it was heaven compared to the daynighter seats i've been on since forever... i got a two person 'cabin' all to myself, and a proper pull-down bunk bed! :S

oh no internet time runnin out AGAIN. ta for now, be on train to darwin till sun! ;)

[tripdiary] eatin up the tracks.

ok so i havent found time to blog on the footy game, but in the one week i've done my best to explore melb you see. wells, or rather the melb that desmond knows of plus a lil more! :P

you see.. my dear ole fren des doesnt get ard much. so when frens come down for a visit he becomes a 'tagalong tourist'! :) had a looksee in the city itself, fed square, the train and trams, brighton beach, the great ocean rd and the beautiful apollo bay but that didnt really leave time for much else tho. also managed to catch up with dillon last night with des and dillo's sis over dinner and hot drinks after.

had a lil confusion tryin to plan out the next step but i reckon i've got it all sorted out now. all tts left is to book one tour tml and i'll be pretty much set. am in adelaide once again now, and will also just be staying here for one night this time, but the next week will see me on the move mostly. dropping off some crap back at "base" and resuming my current passion of traintracking. :S

pics will have to wait for now! laters! till perth... or darwin! ;)

update.

taken by dEStAN at brighton beach.

pretty much sums up how beautiful the simple things can be. ;)

*

"there comes a point where meeting people is the trip,

and the breathtaking scenery just is a nice bonus.

therefore never discount any encounter,

for the one you miss might be the one

that teaches you most about life."

[tripdiary] all for footy!

took the train from sydney to adelaide last wed, only a 24hr ride and it seriously felt too short for me. this time round the crowd was generally older and made up mostly of people that weren't really travelling (well in a way :P). but like adrian said, rides do seem to go by faster now. and the difference a good crowd of ppl makes was so very obvious. :S

got to adelaide and left the few ppl i met on the train as they chugged off to perth. boohoo! met han after that for dinner at some viet place that served delicious noods. its been more than 5 years since i've last seen him and it was good to see him again. too bad i only had one night this time round in ade before i hop on another train to melb.

woke dark n early in the morning to get to keswick train station for my ride to melb on the overland. on this ride that was packed, there were even fewer travellers. mainly cos its a short 12hr ride and just a good alternative to flying between ade n melb. :S all i was hoping for on this sector was that the train reached melb on time. why? cos i was to watch a footy match an hour after i disembark! :)

more on the match later... :P

[tripdiary] out fishing.

spent the weekend south of sydney with mel doing some fishing. had an early start to the day when we woke at 4 to drive down to royal national park to catch the sunrise before continuing down to bateman's bay (where krystal from bb06 is from!). stayed out in this really nice holiday park just 10 mins away in nelligen. the setting of the place was nice, with the 'luxury villa' just metres from the creek. too bad the fishing aint fantastic there else it would have been the destination i reckon. :P more fishing on sunday followed on our way to moruya where there were lots and lots of baby breams and leatherjackets that i initially mistook for pufferfishes. :S after we got bored we just continued driving south before reaching tuross heads where we turned back. by now we were only a couple of hours from the victorian border. hmmm... tempting. :P

*

it was real nice doin it all with mel, it just seemed like we were back when we were younger and always trying to get out of grandma's place. running around catching fish and relaxing at our secret hideout. all the things that are now lost in time. but a life that i could fit into without problems again i reckon. i tink i like fishing a lil bit more now, and should really utilise my rod n reel a lil more... lol. :)

[tripdiary] i survived!

the mountains that is.. :)

*

after a disappointing first day where the fog blocked out everything, i ventured out with ppl i met at the hostel for a walk to the falls. according to the local guides, when fog envelopes the mtns and rain sets in the good thing is that the waterfalls in the area are at their best! andl and myself suited up and took a long walk to the far end of town and started down into the valley, taking in muddy steps and beautiful sights, the occasional glimpse of blue skies peeking through the fog. it was definitely luck on our side as the weather got better as we venture further. :P

*

the day ended with a mad and scary (especially on tired legs) climb up the giant stairway to echo point! where we were rewarded with the first clear view of the three sisters! :) back in the hostel we dried off and we had a lil international party to celebrate xmas in july as they do here. pizza and beer. cards and crazy ppl rounded it up well. ;)

*

day three saw the best weather as the worst of it headed inland over to the great dividing range. the newly discovered open top red bus with nat, the skyway, sinful hot choc, scenic world and a long ride back to civilisation filled the day. i didnt wanna leave but time was working against me! ohwells.. :)

*

"it was surreal walking along the streets in katoomba

when fog sets in after sunset,

when one feels so very alone in this world,

but also so alive."

update.

misty up in the blue mountains

[tripdiary] misty mountains.

i am now 'stuck' in the blue mtns. foggy all round and with nothing much else to do. but its beautiful in its own strange way and i shall stay till tml as planned. any colder and i'd be getting a white xmas.. heh :)

merry xmas in july from down under!!!

[tripdiary] halfway.

even on the go i cant escape the pull of reality and of the uncertain immediate future. managed to get some important stuff sorted out and hopefully before i move off again i will be able to sort out all that i need to. life is hard. but i will not deny it also is wonderful. :)

*

just got back from a short trip to canberra with mel and his colleagues hiro and patrick. even tho there was absolutely nothing of particular interest to me there, i had fun. spending much of fri afternoon doing dealer calls all the way to the capital. eating krispy kremes. chasing the sun. running from the rain. i spose that's the fun bit when one works in marketing. but so far i believe it isnt something that is for me. i just dont like to sell stuff too much (i think..). but i really have to get it sorted out soon. and why would i be thinking about such things while travelling? because this trip is as much about understanding myself and learning about life as it is about fun.

*

hmm... i think staying put for too long has made me lazy. damn. time to go! :P

*

"life is bigger than what we realise it to be,

with more pain, anger and suffering,

but also more hope, faith, love,

so the key is to make every breath count,

and just keep pushing on. "

[tripdiary] loss for words.

after almost three weeks of moving about, i'll be staying put for abit in sydney. one has to get one's bearings even when travelling and tho this stop is longer than planned for it gives good time to recover and also to sort out the second half of all this. :) sydney is such a diverse place too, so i will be pushing myself to make the 1hr trips into the city to do just that, take it all in. thankfully mel is here and i can bunk at his place for now, saving the poor me some money for later! :P but if anyone wants to contribute... i definitely wont say no! ;)

*

gold coast - the four days spent there was (almost) perfect. alot of sun and just cool enough to enjoy both dreamworld and movie world! its been 12 years since i've been to a major theme park and its safe to say for now that i wont need to hurry off to the next theme park i see! the tower of terror and the giant drop was thoroughly exciting enough for us to do them twice, also worth visiting would be the claw and wipeout. for rollercoaster rides that cannot be skipped i would have to say the superman's escape and lethal weapon ride in movieworld. the 4d shrek show was also quite good. as was the scooby doo ride! cept for the crowds due to the school hols alls good. :P with the kid in me satisfied and worn out by then, horse riding was to be next and the setting of the ride was beautiful. we even stopped for tea and damper(bush bread) along a stream halfway thru. at night there was the beach markets at surfers, good fun too.

*

tassie - the land under down under, also known as van diemen's land. the closest i'll be getting to nz for now and all i can say is that if it werent winter i would have gone for a multi day hike here for sure. it is that beautiful, and most importantly relatively untouched compared to elsewhere in aust. but it wont last too long i spose. :S the weather here was good too, especially when we all expected gloomy and wet weather, so we were surprised to find mostly sunny days and just a 'lil' rain. :P loved the cradle mtns and i do hope to do the overland trek someday. so much to see and do here, not forgetting the eerie port arthur ghost tour and a sobering visit to the port arthur memorial. i do think i will be back. :)

*

i am getting lost in this experience and i already know i will miss it all. ok time to get off my lazy ass and head into the city! wheeeeee!!! ;)

*

"may we who come to this place

cherish life for the sake of those who died,

cherish compassion for the sake of those who gave aid,

and cherish peace for the sake of those in pain."

in memory of those

who died in port arthur, tasmania,

on 28th apr 1996.

[tripdiary] i rant.

"as i travel i learn more about how diverse the world actually is. how different people can be. and more of how i function as an individual. i also find out more about what interests me. and what not. it can be tiring. but from what i see so far. at the end of the day it most definitely is worth it. the ups and down of life goes on. somewhere. somehow." - somewhere in hobart, tassie.

update.

sydney sunday brunch.

daytripping ard and to lunch at manly.

on the road.

all's good so far. gold coast has been great. hope tassie's weather will hold! laters. ;)

update.

the indian pacific from perth to sydney.

[tripdiary] the indianpacific spans the land.

phew! i'm finally in sydney after a loooong ride on ''the mighty indian pacific''. heh. so that was the ride i've been waiting and planning so much and so long for and it didnt disappoint. was down with a bad bout of flu the day before the ride which was probably caused by all the rushing around whilst settling stuff in perth.

*

day one - on the train was terrible. feverish and with a nose that was runny..bad bad combi. struggled between getting more rest and wanting to stay up for the changing scenery and soon i had to admit defeat and pop a panadol or two. sleeping in the upright position wad hard, but i was lucky to have the adjacent seat empty too. the carriage was pretty packed i reckon (oh how wrong was i... it was to be considered relatively empty!). time wore on and soon it was 6 hours into the ride and dinnertime. the meal of viet curry with rice and veg didnt stay down well tho. sigh. got to know adrian(irish) and ben(tasmanian). friendly and interesting characters. :P reached kalgoorlie abit before 11pm and headed to the pub for some beer with lads i met on the train. moved on to another when the first closed after one drink tho. heh. this second one had erm... more interesting bar staff. so if you're at the exchange hotel in kalgoorlie, buy a jug! :)

*

day two - by now we were crossing the nullarbor aka 'the treeless plains' i tink. a hot shower early in the morning did a lil good cos i felt a little better after. wells maybe its just becaused i'm more rested now too. nothing much to see thru the windows so a couple of us just hung ard in the lounge car. stopover at some isolated town named cook that had a population of 4! there wasnt much to see and soon we were off again. passed time playing 'rummey' with merrick(english?), pete(english?), adrian and ben in the afternoon. met jess(mackers!) and leka(brazilian). had a much better dinner of 'some beef mushroom thingy'. lol. officially on south australian time now.

*

day three - arrived in adelaide in the wee hours of the morning to bleak skies full of grey clouds. a couple of us did a mad rush from keswick station into the city to grab brekkie and some groceries for the last leg of our journey. we also said our goodbyes to merrick and pete in adelaide. sigh. officially met laura(english), gayle(english) and simon(perthite) tho. the train leaving adelaide was quite packed (seriously!) but by now it was bearable cos we had our little refuge in the lounge car, where time just flew by! stopped over at broken hill late afternoon and we sortof walked from 'one end' of the town to 'the other end'. it was that small, but big compared to other towns/ outback cities. leaving it also meant that it was the last bumpy night on this train journey. dinner on the train and a final movie session in the lounge car with everyone. booo! :s

*

day four - last stop, central station in sydney. my first impression was that it was such an oldish city. complex transport network and all too big. collected all our luggage and headed off for one last coffee/pint before we went our separate ways. i sure hope we meet again, hopefully sometime and somewhere in our future travels. :(

wells. at least it was fun while it lasted. for that, i am grateful. till i find time to properly sort stuff out... go here! till next time.. ;)

bye for now.

after ages daydreaming about this i will have the chance to experience it for myself! pics by sunday.. i hope. :)

miss you all!

s31''58.500'

e115''48.876'

you think?

adelaide.alice springs.brisbane.darwin.gold coast.katherine.melbourne.sydney.tasmania.

anywhere in these areas that is definitely worth paying a visit to? tell me! thanks!

its over!

it feels good to be able to enjoy a day for the beautiful things that just is. with no immediate worries and things to do. simply wonderful. all i hope for is to clear all my papers. i've been worried before, about not passing but this being the last makes it a lil different in a way because a different result here changes the ending completely. so i spose i'll just be keeping my fingers crossed.

the past couple of days have been good. to the library and back, to the library and back. trying my best and hoping it is enough. and in between it all there was time, time to wonder what lies ahead. for this possibly marks the end of my stay at this station as the train that is life chuggs along. whatever comes, i'll have memories of now and it is they that will be keepin me sane. :)

internet access should be cut in a coupla days and lots of packing and sorting out needs to be done so i reckon i'll be pretty much d/c-ed for abit. email or sms! for anything and everything!

i'm off to take pictures! :P

underpowered.

losing steam in this fight.

*must...hang...on...*

drifting all too easily.

dancing in the moonlight.

winter's here and it's been cold cold cold. not too miserable. just cold. brrrrrr... in four days i'll be sitting for my first killer paper and come the 21st it'll all be over. i hope i put in enough from now till then. been getting enough food and rest between visits to the library. i even have this general area that i 'favour' in the library. the breaks. the camomile. the much too frequent eye-candy. the stoning. the walks taken in solitude and with good company.. *just zoned out for abit... heh*

*

dont end too soon.

*

untimely blackout last night at home. damn the mad users of heaters in this weather that put the strain on the powergrid. RAWRRR. luckily i have my thermals and torch. tho i didnt have it as bad as my hsemate who was to have an exam this morning. :S studying by torchlight sure aint fun as u can see.

-

14 - investment analysis. 15 - foundations in e-commerce.

20 - taxation. 21 - financial accounting : theory and practice.

-

ah!

2 dozen.

once again its the time of the semester again. the study week before the exams. this last time the unit that scares me the most would be investment analysis. :S i've got so much to catch up on, so much to learn. but i'll start now, start somewhere. 3 weeks of hard work is nothing in return for what comes after. it will be worth it. i'll make sure. :)

meanwhile, i'm feeling stuffed. its been a weekend of steam-boating here in perth. a perfect complement to the cold weather! a relatively quiet birthday dinner, and definitely a less stressful one compared to the past two years. erm.. thats putting the IA problem aside. :P

am contented. will sleep for tomorrow. thankew all! ;)

this last week.

with feelings so mixed and weather so bleak, it just zips by. had the last tax tute, the last fatp and fec lectures. more 'lasts' comin up tomorrow. time indeed isnt really in the mood for waiting...

for the bored and uninspired...i present urban legends, a fec lecture example. :P

one more recharge. and i will be ready. :)

guilt.

a call to loved ones made me feel as tho i dont deserve to go on a holiday this july, wells, sortof. was just informing them of the stuff i will be doing when i was reminded of the need to prioritise. that i should focus on this last bit of exams first. i wanted to cry even tho i knew it was in my best interests that it was spoken. but all i was trying to do was to let them know, as i should, so there wont be any nasty surprises ahead. and that once i got all of it settled i will focus everything on the exams. i was trying to be responsible. and it hurt. but knowing what came before and understanding what will be coming after this point in time, i will keep it in mind but stick to it. only time will reveal everything. only time.

sorry.

just feel better.

"Just Feel Better"

(feat. Steven Tyler)

She said I feel stranded

And I can't tell anymore

If I'm coming or I'm going

It's not how I planned it

I've got a key to the door

But it just won't open

And I know, I know, I know

Part of me says let it go

That life happens for a reason

I don't, I don't, I don't

Because it never worked before

But this time, this time

I'm gonna try anything to just feel better

Tell me what to do

You know I can't see through the haze around me

And I do anything to just feel better

And I can't find my way

Girl I need a change

And I do anything to just feel better

Any little thing that just feel better

She said I need you to hold me

I'm a little far from the shore

And I'm afraid of sinking

You're the only one who knows me

And who doesn't ignore

That my soul is weeping

I know, I know, I know

Part of me says let it go

Everything must have a season

Round and round it goes

And every day's the one before

But this time, this time

I'm gonna try anything that just feels better

Tell me what to do

You know I can't see through the haze around me

And I do anything to just feel better

I can't find my way

God I need a change

And I'd do anything to just feel better

Any little thing that just feel better

I'm tired of holding on

To all the things I ought to leave behind, yeah

It's really getting old, and

I think I need a little help this time!

Yeah

[Guitar solo]

I'm gonna try anything to just feel better

Tell me what to do

You know I can't see through the haze around me

And I do anything to just feel better

And I can't find my way

God I need a change

And I do anything to just feel better

Any little thing that just feel better

salmon-y.

this week was yet another one of madness. will the need to finish up a crazyass assignment that was due fri, the days leading up to it just zipped by. by the time i was done with it my body's already out of tune and in need of much 'restoration'. and what better way to do so other than by getting a good meal! heh. :P

had ordered fish thru the workplace and it came with yest's delivery. 1kg of salmon fillet...with skin on! woots! wells i like salmon skin when its fried, and previous buys of frozen salmon from a refridgerated van came without. i think it just tastes different without the skin, none of the nice salmony oils flavouring it. and i am just unwilling to buy it from the supermarket at crazy prices of $33+ per kg.

methinks i'll be getting ODed on salmon..NOT! whee... off to the next restoration meal! :)

dreams.

why do we dream? is there a purpose in all that goes through our mind as we sleep? there are times when i keep dreaming and times where they are few and far between. and i reckon the reason for me is the amount of rest i get. as i get more rest, i dream more. :)

so last night i turned in early, and promptly had (i think) a series of dreams. bits of it i remember include some boat/fishing trip that mutated into some kinda shootout involving ALOT of (helpless/innocent) people being shot. many died before i managed to get my hands on a rifle. erm... then i woke up not long after. dreams like these are weird. and i dont really understand them. well.. not really. hokie enough of that.

exams timetable was released today, a coupla days before the official date, but it isnt too bad i reckon. i end on the 21st june. and i cant wait. it really is going to be bittersweet. :(

i'd do anything...

play.

a game.

i scored 73. no cheating!

one down. two to go.

been a mad week this one just past. 3 birthday meals during the week. one deadline to meet. but that's over now and i'm glad it is. there wasnt really much time to do much and time seemed to me to have just vanished. the only bits i remember apart from the above are a lil of 'big brother 2006', a lil of 'Lost - season 2' on my laptop, a lil of holiday-mooding and alot of walking to and from school and work! :S

this week will probably be a lil better, but that all depends on how much progress is made on my IA project due on the 25th (or was it the 26th) this month. that, is the only scary bit imho. give me just enough to hang on, i dont ask for much! :)

alrighty.

i promise pictures...

as often as i can manage.

but what kind of a promise is it if the end result isnt one of certainty.

think i need more sleep.

shrooms and peppers.

for shrooms
1. pluck off stem bits of mushroom and chop it up.
2. paste - mix that with crusty bread(soaked in water and drained)/garlic/salt/pepper/mozarella/1 egg
3. spoon paste into mushrooms and bake at 180deg.c for ard 15-20mins.
vary as desired! different kinds of cheese and herbs may be used.

*

for roasted peppers
1. roast peppers (erm.. ya) till burnt on the outside.
2. remove immediately and place in bowl, cover with clingwrap.
3. wait to cool...
4. paste - mix smooth ricotta/1 egg/salt/pepper/chopped parsley or oregano.
5. clean peppers under running water. remove insides and blackened skin. (handle with care!)
6. divide each pepper into about 3-4 pieces.
7. spoon paste in and roll it up. bake at 180deg.c for ard 15-20mins.

*

all above lacking in actual recipe. was snooped from the workplace. have fun! :)

as it is.

progress on assignments have been going far to slowly for comfort. and with only like a week before the first is due i reckon its getting pretty stressful ard here now.

on a happier note the grand plan to squander away money is taking shape. will give a week for things to fall in place on its own, if not i'd better be getting off my butt before time runs out. :)

to another busy week ahead, pushed on only by the thought of a certain wanting.

"in life comes moments where one remembers,

that time spent on the mundane is oft not wasted,

the time for me is now,

so let me use it well."

visitation.

my jc fren jess had yet another stopover due to work. just the a week ago i was wondering when her next stopover would be. and judging from the look of things its gonna be the last one during my stay here. was a lil caught up with stuff in uni so i met her a lil late in the city.

*

had take-away from mr.samurai and went along the river to look for photo ops. its best when with her cos she likes taking pics too! but currently i am very jealous cos of the many places she gets to visit and the chances she has to take beautiful pictures! boooo! ohwells, my time will come. :P

*

somehow taking pics back home requires a lil more luck and effort. maybe its just the magic of being in a different place from what one is used to seeing all the time. anyways, after dinner and dessert (ice-cream in cold weather is just the shiokest') it was time to head back to get work done. since it was a normal uni day, and despite it being a public holiday back home! :)

***

update: bought 3 more books! heh :P

mayday mayday!

in a (loooooong) moment of madness today i bought 8 books for myself and 2 for geneve and janette to share. all for the wonderful price of only AUD$43.80. and all made possible by the may sale at the co-op bookstore in uni. its times like these that i'm glad i have work to pay for such splurges. and its times like these that i wonder why the hell am i accumulating so many more books in my final semester here. ohwells. what matters is that i am happy now. :)

Its wonderful that its only the first day of the sale. what's not so good is the effect it will have on my wallet by the end of this week if more gems come on sale! :P

more soon!

fun at work.

had a great night at work last night. cept for the fact i lost misplaced my water bottle (dont ask, i've yet to figure how i managed to do it. rawrr!)

it was relatively quiet for a saturday night and the fact that there were ALOT of ppl in the kitchen made things seem a lil less rushed as usual i reckon. currently there's like 2 chefs, 2 assistant chefs, 1 apprentice and myself, the kitchenhand. :P compared to the same time last year where there were only 2 chefs and myself on sat nights. hmmm.. anyways, the free time meant alot of ppl standing around and generally more fooling around by nic the apprentice. :)

being one of two non-italians, nic being australian (but he has italian blood someplace up the family line so its different) meant that ALOT of the general chatter in the kitchen was unintelligible to me. but there was much to pick up, abeit a lil foul at times. from "i want to go home" to "oh my god" to "suck my *something*to "f*** off" to "you are so slow" there was a whole range for frequent usage in the kitchen. :)

with probably only a month of work left before the exams, i really have to make more of my time spent in the mad kitchen. and hopefully learn a lil more "conversational" italian along the way. ;)

ciao!

pray not.

i might have taken in some ricotta that has gone off wayyyy before the 17thmay expiry date. f*ck!!

out eating.

thursday - after uni finished for the week. jjj and myself headed down once again to mr.samurai in the city. its the cheapest jap food you can get here in perth and i just love the fried chicken they serve there! after that we stayed back for a lil walk in the city. but wasnt really in the mood and financial situation for shopping so i just headed to citybeach with jay for xbox! not really a lover to tvconsolegames but it was fun to kill time with. :P

***

friday - after the noon shift at work, it was home for a nap before dinner matsuri with charisse and felix. its this jap restaurant thats a lil on the steep side but i really like the location and look of the place. hmm. but to just pay for that? i dunno. :S the 'must-try' dish here would be the tataki - seared beef slices served with a garlic vinegar lime spring onion dressing. its simply yum! had a salmon sashimi set for myself and i spose its decent enough.

*

we were to meet at seven but all ended up reaching a lil late. heh. but luckily we still got our seats, which i thought is a good place to ppl watch on a busy weekend night. :P here's all of us before the meal and after i toppled a bowl of miso soup. :S

*

after dinner it was off to bubbletea in northbridge. but not before heading back to pick nat up from curriehall. a bubbletea each and hours of chats + stoning later it was finally time to head home. spending time like this would be so much a luxury on the near near future. bah! so depressing :(

*

side note : twitching persists. am dying.

its been (almost) two years.

the weather was pretty bleak today. overcast skies and the biting cold. suddenly it seemed like winter was here but nah, twas just the it being cranky i spose. cos by the time i headed home in the evening it was clearing up a lil. wells.. just a lil. but somehow this was the kinda cold i like. :)

.

anyways, jerome came over for dinner tonight. it been almost two years since i last saw him. once again the food was a lil spicy. and once again its 'big brother' time of the year again. heh. and once again it's his farewell dinner as he's to fly back home tomorrow afternoon. apart from a coupla emails in between, we've not been in contact much. so now as he finishes up his masters and i, my bachelors, our paths have crossed once again. wells its just that he is in love with australia and he's finding every chance to come over. this time he was doing a lil research at sharks bay up north of perth for 3 months. and with his girlfriend coming to do a three year course, i tink i'll see him pretty soon. well maybe anyways. so now he's off once again and soon it'd be my turn. sigh. :P

a lil older and (hopefully) a lil wiser, but never less mad.

not goodbye. :)

this piece of (old) info makes me sad.

strangely so. :(

Konicaminolta quits camera and photo business.

sigh.

the edge.

i reckon the twiching was stress related. but damn, it'd be terrible if it were so. wells you see for some reason unknown to me, the left eye tires like within fifteen mins of hitting any sort of reading material. even blogs! :( and its not that i havent been getting enough rest cos i know i have. :S let it be gone..pls.

with the last of the midsems over and done with, i spose i'd have to start on the assignments pretty soon now. 3 more and its the finals already. with increasing frequency the realisation that its the last semester already hits me, and i am finding quiet moments too few and far between. zoning out seems to be such a waste of time now. what to do... hmm.

..in my zombiefied state, i'll just have to figure something out somehow. ;)

stressed.. but not stressed.

lately i've been thinking about certain things that i ought to be worried about. but it just isnt in me to be worried worried about it. i still eat. work. sleep. slack. watch tv. surf the net. and blog. :S is that good or bad? sigh. i spose it's good as in that i dont stress myself out too much. but it's also bad in that i just cannot find the focus i need to get things done. like for now i have to get down to revision for the paper coming monday but things just aint happening! rah!!!

add that to the fact that i feel tired even tho i've been getting enough sleep ( at least i tink so anyways). i need this to stop. and stop in time too.

breathe. just breathe..

i need a haircut. i need to study. i need to live life. i need to take more pictures. i need to listen to exercise. i need to store my quiet moments in little bottles. i need special help. and i need to go sleep now. so ya. goodnight!

xtreme paintball.

tj ryan and myself went along with a group from trinity college for a game of indoor paintball. having dont it once before i really loved it and had wanted all along to go for a session here in perth. wells i finally got to do it. :) and i must say it was great fun! seeing that we had to "sign our life away" before we could even touch the paintball markers. i spose it added a lil to the excitement. :P

-

i reckon its a really nice activity to get oneself involved in once in a while, if for nothing else just cos its such a great way to release stress. lol. not being able to drag one's feet ard while getting stuff done, otherwise having to suffer consequences. draws much parallel to life the way i see it. so here you see us, two hours later. a lil poorer. battle scarred. and definitely grinning. ;)

this will probably be the last of activities for this break. being midway in it and having to sit for an exam the following monday, i ought to get to my books. sigh. :S

-

till next time then! :)

easter.

sunday ended with yet another home-cooked meal. this time it was chinese and ally did gooooood. :) as much fun in the making as the eating i reckon. then it was followed by uno time which we all pretty much forgot how to play. :P

chinese feast of roast duck. fish maw soup. sweet n sour pork. steamed fish. stirfried mixed veggy. cheng teng.

-

Monday was yet another fun-filled day. an 'early' morning drive down to cockburn (pronounced as co-burn thankewberimuch) ice arena for a spot of ice skating! once again i was reminded why i dont like skating and how much i sucked at it. rawr!!! ohwells. what was coooool about this place was that in the middle of the two hour session they held skating lessons for all and also had games like tag and limbo for everyone! $15 well spent i'd say. :P hmmm... tho i must say my butt hurts a lil. :S to end this icy day we caught ice age 2! happy memories... sad wallet...

top : lessons for all. the crowd at the rink. jo.

middle : dallas.jun.ryan.jean.me.dom.jay.wenyang. us resting. and us.

bottom : more of us. and ryan losing his balance. :P

-

there you go! my easter weekend ;)

***

"when we celebrate each unfolding moment,

then even when those we love die,

we are able to move beyond fear and regret."

when we find ourselves in an unfortunate situation, often all we can think of is how to get out of this mess. Yet when we look more closely at where we are, new possibilities may begin to emerge that make our current situation not only bearable, but worthwhile. We may have been placed in this predicament purely for our soul growth, or we may be in this situation to help ease the fears of those around us through our courage and level head. What opportunities do you have at your fingertips that can help elevate this moment for yourself and others?

- yet another from the little blue book.

***

brighter than sunshine.

easter morning started with an early morning drive to pick jun's sis nat up at the airport. i just love this time of the morning. when its the coldest. and as the orange and yellow creep up on the blue. leaving white in the middle. tho each day varies, the overall view is perfect to me. this.. i like.

never forget moments like this, even tho you dont always get to see them, one has to know they exist anyways. :)

"the universe is suprisingly economical, if we neglect an idea, it will be given to someone else..."

good friday.

a home-cooked meal. less cost more hassle double the fun. :)

all of us starving and snacking before and while preparing dinner. so when it came we were... already a lil stuffed. budding musicians and hungry ppl.

dinner of steak. meatballs. potato salad thingy. shrooms. roasted peppers. veggy. pina colada. after dinner we proceeded to slack watching tv and we caught 'bulletproof' followed by 'alot like love'. loved the soundtrack of the latter.. :)