2016.

this is not the most reflective start to a new year, but it'll have to do.

the nature of events in december 2015 had me feeling like there was no proper closure to the year. don't get me wrong, it was a great way to finish off that chapter of my life, spending Christmas, as well as the transition into the new year, back home. somehow though, it just hasn't sunk in, along with many other things. the new year, i daresay, did not start on the best note. starting off the year being in limbo, with the expectation and uncertainty, is not exactly the most ideal. sudden tragic news was a far cry from a promising start to a new chapter. i wasn't in the least bit enthused about the seemingly long wait, but i have come to appreciate the time it left me with. not for the holiday that everyone tells me to appreciate, but because i could be there. i had the time to be there. i had the time to love through acts of service, and through support. no, i didn't do it to feed the feeling of fulfillment and joy you get when you do a good deed. in fact, that feeling was non-existent. i was driven by a strange sort of obligation and desire to do it. and i was happy being busy. perhaps, the workaholic in me needed that adrenaline rush, or perhaps my subconscious nature is actually more loving than my blase exterior.

surely, there must be a purpose in this waiting. some time before adult life begins for real; time to spend, reflect, savour, and appreciate before work inundates. so i suppose it's brb, ttfn, ttyl, until it dawns upon me.

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Listen To Our Hearts

(Steven Curtis Chapman and Geoff Moore)

How do you explain, how do you describe

A love that goes from East to West and runs as deep as it is wide

You know all our hopes, Lord, you know all our fears

And words cannot express the love we feel but we long for You to hear

If words could fall like rain from these lips of mine

And if I had a thousand years I would still run out of time

So if You listen to my heart every beat will say

Thank you for the Life, thank you for the Truth, thank you for the Way

So listen to our hearts, hear our spirits sing

A song of praise that flows for those You have redeemed

And we use the words we know to tell you what an awesome God You are

But words are not enough to tell You of our love, so listen to our hearts

with every beat of my heart.