3 days of nus till after 10p.m. - zzz.

As the title states, I've spent 3 consecutive days in my favourite place to be till late night. Obviously I wouldn't if I can help it, but I can't.

Its almost the end of week3 and I'm already exhausted. Lab work has settled in like gel beads in a well equilibrated chromatography column - packed and hellishly difficult to get rid of. I am constantly plagued with doubts about my own calculations; I need constant reassurance. It doesn't help that according to MY calculations, the first experiment last week has an experimental error AND we're supposed to keep using the product of that experiment for the next few weeks! I mean, I sure hope my calculations are correct.. or we're screwed for the next 4 practicals (and today's too.)

On a bright note, lectures for experimental biochem seem to have ended! -hooray- The not so bright note is, the first CA's next week.

-cough-

Interesting...

It poured in the afternoon yesterday and I didn't bring an umbrella. So there I was in nus, looking out at the rain from an isolated block and wondering if I should just dash across (yes, it required some deliberation because I was carrying my laptop). And then I see someone approaching with an umbrella -hooray- and she was approaching me too -yay thank god for nice people!- and then she said,

"oh if you want to cross the road you can go behind this building then go up to the third floor, there's a path. You won't get wet."

And then she opened her umbrella and crossed the road.

Urm, won't it be easier if you, uh, offered to walk me across that 10m? I would... But I've never done it, people always turn down my offers. I wonder why... I'm too ugly to walk with? Haha...




This morning, I was running late for the 8am lecture. I thought I could make it in time, but my efforts in brisk walking were thwarted by this 3 folks who strolled up, across and down the overhead bridge in one straight line, chatting away happily, oblivious to the 14 or so people crowding behind them with varying looks of impatience. I wanted to laugh - we were walking in a block.

I don't know why, but I was reminded by chromatography - your sample won't (and shouldn't!) run faster than your solvent front. If you let your solvent run out of the medium (e.g. filter paper - overhead bridge) your separated analytes (stuck people) will run out (off the path into the grass and onto the path again, a good distance ahead) too, if they're small/fast enough. Not a good analogy, I must admit. Maybe I should hit the books more often, might come up with better ones.


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Anyway, the idea behind me taking experimental biochemistry this semester for my 6mc requirement thingy instead of experimental cell and molecular biology (my biochem only earned a B+ after a lot of struggling - same as anat wth and molecular genetics and biodiversity A- and A with very much less effort) is such that at the end of the intensive biochem-ing my abilities and thoughts in biochemistry SHOULD improve. At least that's the idea. I sure hope I don't screw up, though.

-back to biochem lab report 1-

BINGOOO

I feel like I've just struck a gold mine: Molecular Biology of the Cell by Alberts et al, the $98 grey fat book, FREE online. At least, I think its the full version. Shall do a little comparison when I next visit the Science library.

-glug-

Very nearly utterly overwhelmed. My To-Do List grows at an exponential rate. Can't believe its week 3. In another 4 weeks it'd be mid-semester break.


In between juggling the 5.5 module workload (which entails keeping abreast of all the readings I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING, lab reports every week, keeping up with lectures and listening to webcasts for those I don't understand or skipped, borrowing and reading various RBR books because I refuse to buy certain textbooks), I'd be:

1. Learning French (while attempting not to completely mess up my mediocre German Language abilities which I DO intend to continue in following semesters),
2. Trying to cope with my role and responsibilities in co (and yes, I am fully aware that I am failing quite miserably on this front and this has really made me pause and reflect on my seemingly non-existent leadership skills for the first time in 20 years),
3. Applying for SEP and facing all the nitty gritty rubbish that comes with module mapping,
4. Try to keep up with the library books I've been borrowing from the NLB without returning them unread at the end of 3 weeks - must.not.limit.my.reading.to.textbooks.and.notes.only.,
5. Having fun with the 12hr time difference (FUN... right...),
6. Coming up with gift ideas, creating them, sending them and hoping the box reaches montreal by 30th September,
7. Trying to understand Jeremiah - cf's concentrating on it for this year, and uh, I've never read it. I don't even have a vague impression of it.
8. The List Goes On.


Things I need/want to get asap include
1. A new mouse. My current one messes up the clicking settings (how? I do not know...)
2. Black cardigan - much as I like shawls, they do not keep me as warm as when in a cardigan due to too much air being allowed in.


Off to fight my to-do list. till laters.

Bye for a while.

Wheee~~ haha. -waves-

Actually I'm not sad. Well, maybe I am, but I'm currently a bit too tired. But LDR-ing... it feels quite normal. In fact, I think LDR-ing and 24/7 times are the best. And I'm feeling a lot more carefree - not in the "OOOH I'M (PSEUDO) SINGLE AGAIN" but more of the "space to breathe and freedom." There were many issues in the last 6 weeks - some of it very much unresolved in fact - but I like to think that we'd manage somehow. =) Probably with love, patience, trust, communication, and a lot of prayer. hahaha...

Its going to be msn, skype and jajah.com all over again, and its going to be one long year instead of a semester, but these are blessings too, and I just might be successful in sep application, and even if I don't, there'd be other chances, so yes, long term, long term. In the LR everything will be fine.

August 22.

I wanted to put a happy post about cg today but now I'm home and the thought of tomorrow just killed it all.

The disadvantages of staying up late.

Staying up isn't good - it induces thoughts that aren't conducive to one's learning, like whether one is in the correct course, whether one should drop out to do something else.

Like maybe I should have considered other options in healthcare instead of doing life sciences - at least I'd get a professional degree instead of a general degree, job security, I'd still be working with people.. who knows? I might be studying somewhere else in this world... Then again, its not a medical degree. =|

Seems like nights aren't good - people are sadder, and it seems like most deaths occur at night too. What is it, hormone levels according to light? Haha...

And after all these thoughts, its damn near impossible to get to sleep, which is going to serve as a problem 3 hours later when one has to get up.

Particularly pensive and nostalgic. hmm.

Okay here's the start of week2. Fast, isn't it. Not too long ago I was eagerly counting down the days left before 11th May... then counting down again to 17th June.. then trying not to think about 12 July... and here we are, 20th August. It has been 3? months of rest and relaxation, but 1 week into the semester and here I am feeling drained.

There are many things which I could blog about actually.. For instance, I have discontinued both volunteer work and driving lessons. The former can't be helped - my days mostly end at 8pm. The latter, well, if I really wanted to I could still continue because I do have lengthy 6hr breaks on some days, which is sufficient time to travel to bbdc and back, but I think it isn't worth it.

Plus I'd really like to see my CAP go up this semester, despite the difficulty of the modules I'm taking, so the 6hrs could be better utilised in the library, methinks. This will probably start next week, because I've already skipped lectures on Friday and planning to skip another tomorrow. And after The Significant Other leaves on Thursday I believe I'd be moping around for a while since it IS going to be a long time till we see each other again - minimum one year, and that's if I apply for and secure a year long exchange there. Or it could be 1.5 years later, if I obtain a semester exchange. We'd see how it goes. Or I could just strike a pot of gold somewhere which could pay for a short holiday there or something...

The last time I wanted something so badly was when applying for medical school... Ahh. I've shelved that for the time being, in view of my pathetic CAP and other issues.

So. Anyone wants to form a mugging club with me? Meeting hours - Tuesdays and Fridays, 10am-4pm. Activities - Quiet Studying, with Lunch In Between (self payable).

CO worries me too. Its like this dark raincloud following me. Heh.

One bright spot on the horizon - french lessons coming up! It burnt a big hole in my pocket though. I feel like a language traitor.

It amuses me to see the weather forecast for montreal pop up occasionally. On one hand I don't need it anymore, but on the other hand I can't bear to remove it, plus it serves as a reminder and motivation to go for sep.

-headache-

Welcome tea was today. I daren't ask the seniors what they thought of it, whether good or not, and we forgot one pretty big thing today - the sign up sheet. Also, more people turned up than expected, so I think food levels got pretty low. We did a lot of last minute work again, and I think this has to stop very soon because the next internal event (assuming no social events) is co camp which is something that spans over a few days and most certainly wont allow much space for maneuvering through unexpected circumstances.

All the same, I'm still not able to go up to unknown people and just speak to them - which is a very big problem these few weeks where we're trying to pull in new members. I mean, if people approach me I can speak normally and such, but there's just this huge activational energy barrier to overcome in order to speak to someone I don't know, especially when selling something, and I just end up sounding very awkward and flustered - not good. Why does this problem get larger the older I get?

What's the problem? Fear of - what? Judgement? Rejection?

I also noticed a distinct difference in my behavior in big and small groups. When there are too many people around, I go into hibernate mode and observe. I literally blend into the surroundings. This is something I believe I picked up in the jc days where class dynamics was sometimes such that everyone talks but nobody listens.

This was also observed during the immersion in stuttgart, when sometimes I had something to say, but because everyone else seems to be talking at the same time, I mostly kept quiet. Unless I felt compelled to say something, perhaps, which probably wasn't anything good and often against the general idea - perhaps this was how I got the "cold, fierce and intimidating" image. I thought it was probably because I just didn't operate on the same frequency as the others, but I had to tear that up when I met some of them in smaller groups at various times and I realised that my tongue was still working, after all.

Matric fair and Welcome Tea also saw me retreating and observing after a while. Clearly, this is getting pathological. What should I do now?

What a day.

Indeed.

The Modules.

Ahh here we are - the end of week1 sem1. (Okay I know there's one more day to go but since I've attended the first lecture of every module already I think I'm qualified to give my 2 cents worth)

Expt biochem's the most interesting so far - the lecturer's great! I just might be singing a different tune when lab starts (12-6pm zzz) but I come out of every lecture happy because I truly feel like I've learnt something new and applicable. Cell biology is... well, the notes are really crappy and the lecturer's nice and all but I don't think he's particularly engaging. Still, cells are interesting. Bioinformatics is a nightmare - I don't know where to begin. Think I better sign up for remedial classes the moment there's information on them. Govt and politics in sg is boring but the lecturer's great too! It should be fine... I hope. My abilities in the humanities have declined. Living with chemistry, like nearly all gems, seem to be a waste of my time. All the same, I cannot drift off during lectures too often - I don't fare very well for modules coded with GEM/GEK.

Sometimes I think I behave like a headless chicken running around. -flapflap-

On the CCA side... I didn't turn up for science cf welcome tea due to various reasons, and the first co sectionals of the semesters have shaped up very badly. I'm a bit worried actually... But that's not for now. cg starts next week! =) And I really ought to take a look at the protein purification textbook I borrowed from the science RBR. Toodles~

Green eyed.

Jealous.

Friends get more. Can I be a friend too?

I hate this semester.

I don't want to go for lecture in 6 hrs time. I'm still awake. I can't go to sleep. I hate being the only one I know doing 2103 and 2104. Feels damn lonely. 2104 is rubbish. 2103 notes don't look that great either.

My best friends this semester's going to be my textbooks.

Quiz and disturbing photos!

Create your own Friend Test here

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Disturbing pictures ahead!!!!!!

Pre-semester.

Well, semester 1 starts tomorrow. -sian-

I realised that I will only have 2 days of final examinations - 26 Nov and 29 Nov. That's because I have 2 papers in a day and 1 module that doesn't have final exams. 26 November's going to be difficult because I may not s/u any of it, but 29 Nov shouldn't be too taxing because I'd definately s/u the singapore studies module and the other module is open book. Then again, its a computing module...

My goal for this semester is very simple - move back up into 2nd upper range. Its not going to be easy given the nature of modules I'm taking this semester though.

Donuts.

I queued for donuts today at suntec. Not the great queue for <24 donuts, but the express queue that was thankfully less than 20 mins. And I was lucky enough to get the flavours I wanted to taste too! Mmm.

保卫黄河

-snicker-

The Last Train.

Ghostly tales, you say?
Nah.

Man in a red shirt. One moment he was a rock star. Next moment he was a one man choir. After that he became a entourage of back up dancers gyrating away to their own voices. Above all, he was a terrible singer, but a pretty good howler.


After said schizo alighted...


Little kid armed with a handphone. With mp3 function. And a very powerful speaker. Song that isn't even remotely intelligent, in fact, mildly racist. "Apu neneh" x forever, then "roti prata kacang puteh.....", then repeat. Repeat mode. Parents don't care. Sister tells boy to turn down the volume. Boy yells and hits sister.





Earlier in the day:

Boy boards train at Boon Lay with maid. Starts yelling out "BOON LAY BOON LAY" and "MY TREE!!" -jabs window- "MY HOUSE!!" -jabs window- "I THINK I'M AN ALIEN!!" "MY HOUSE" "MY HOUSE" When told to keep quiet "WHY SHOULD I?" Because we don't want to listen to you shouting? And because you really should learn consideration for others?


Nuts on a train.

ndp 07

Before yesterday, I was lamenting the sad fact about not being able to watch the parade live.

After yesterday, I am thankful I didn't have to sit there and watch all the mass display live and then have to squeeze with everyone else at the mrt station.

The segment by the primary school kids was downright lousy. What were the kids doing? The song sung by Kit Chan was... weak. Both lyrics and melody. Taichi does NOT work for mass displays like that. Mock rescue operations by the divers and all were just plain hilarious. I feel sad for the poor sods who had to run out of vehicles and pose with their guns. What's the red thingy skating around reciting weird lines for? We aren't living in the safari. Salute by the helicopters? HUH?!

Zzz.

The Updated Template.

Ahh as recent visitors can see, I've decided to (finally!) add a little introduction and some links. Whee. Links are incomplete as yet because I got sick of html. Also, I've managed to delete all my NYC pictures off blogger (Go me.) so I'd be spending time re-uploading the entire bunch of them.

Semester starts next week. The days of slacking are numbered. Cry, the beloved country, for the unborn child, that is the inheritor of our fear for the end of the glorious days of slacking. (I see sec2 lit left a great impression on me.)

Been shopping a lot. Curb, I must.

AHHHHHH Corrinne May's new album was out August 6th!! Why haven't I seen it ANYWHERE?!

I'm making myself miserable looking at pictures food I ate in Montreal - smoked meat and bagels, for example.

PINK PINK PINK.

Today, as some of you might have noticed, is the university's flag day of rag and flag. (as to when's rag day... I don't have a clue) I believe that the student in charge of this year's event is female, because the students solicitating donations are decked out in PINK shirts. Well. I might make a donation if it was anyone else, but because I have something against this university... and my company for today agrees... nope. ym and I were being evil after walking away from some guy who asked for donations. Things that we just can't say to his face: "no sorry, I hate your shirt." or "no, I HATE N*US!!!!!" and hs added this later "I'd donate if you take off your shirt." (No, we didn't actually say these to the flag sellers)

Some guys look okay in pink, some just look like a disaster. Especially if its a tight pink shirt. How many XY do you think look good/are happy in pink? I mentioned that some guys look okay in pink and hs immediately objected "guys in PINK?! are you crazy?" (there you have it guys, an opinion from a fellow male) PINK. Seriously. This XX here doesn't own a pink shirt, and doesn't intend to get one anytime soon. Give me anything else, anytime.

For the blur toots, the 2 bible verses which seemed to be quoted out of nowhere are IN HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS. At Godric's Hollow.

Harry Potter 7

Well, I finished reading hp7 the day it was released (what were you expecting?!) I got my book at 7.20am, headed to macdonalds for breakfast and sat there till 12pm, the time I read the very last sentence in the book.


"The last enemy to be destroyed is death." 1 Corinthians 15:26.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21.

Of stoning and other things.

Its been some time since I last blogged... As of now, I want the semester to begin quickly so that I will be kept busy with new stuff to learn. Whether its because I'm well and truly sick of bumming around, or whether by keeping busy I won't be able to dwell on certain issues, I don't know.

I was stoning at matric fair for the last 2 days - I say stone because as of this year, it is no longer compulsory for the hapless freshies to make their way through the horde of seniors harassing them to join whichever group they're in. If I wasn't in the exco I'd be applauding this move because I hated the entire "join! join! join!" atmosphere last year, but because we're en route to facing the worst sign-up numbers in nusco history due to a sheer lack of people to coercer into leaving their contacts... I had hoped that we wouldn't have to import (nearly) entire sections for concert next year, but I think its going to be Mission Impossible. Thankfully I had a break from duties today...

All the same, I guess the chinese orchestra is something that interested students will sign up for in the first place without much persuasion - in fact there were people who went "ahh we've been looking for you guys!", but no amount of persuasion will convince others otherwise. Kx got a "Do I look like I will join the chinese orchestra" reply when trying to give out flyers. Well. While I will not deny that I myself am likely to shoot such a retort if pestered by people from other groups like maybe sports, I know it will only happen if and only if the senior had refused to take "no thanks, sorry" for an answer. All we asked was for you to take the flyer! You could have chosen to walk on without being vocally rude. Also, it seems that co needs a desperate rebranding. Its very hard to shake off the "chinese orchestra? eeyur! CHEENA. weird. freak. get away from me" tag. Oh please... we (or rather, most of us) are normal folks who happen to like this genre. And speaking of chinese, kx and I prefer conversing in English. Sigh... I start the day optimistic, but start checking my watch by 11am each time, hoping that time would speed up and the day will end. Sometimes there's no point flogging a dead horse.

I also missed science cf outing last night. I had to stay back at cfa in order to hand over keys for sectionals, and by the time I felt comfortable going it was a little too late to head over to dhoby ghaut. Plus I was exhausted from the fair (even though I stoned away most of it) and my eyes felt really terrible from the makeup I had put on.

Speaking of make up... I have recently taken to it. I still dislike the feeling of something on my face though.

My last post on NYC has stalled because 1. I don't have the complete set of photos, 2. I don't feel like relieving all the happy memories of spending time together in our own world when it can no longer happen, not in a LONG while anyway, especially now, and if it ever holds. I don't know why it has come to this, nor do I know where I have gone wrong. I feel like I'm living a drama serial, sometimes... Never mind. Everything happens for a reason.