Saturday, April 25, 2009

i need my coach back, i need to improve :(

left a chocolate stain @ 12:28 AM

Monday, April 06, 2009

my digestive syestem is seriously spoilt sigh

my room smells like armani and its fading :(

left a chocolate stain @ 8:10 AM

Friday, April 03, 2009

oh and she said she'll bring a banner down and support me, promised :)

left a chocolate stain @ 7:55 AM

This girl, happened to just brighten up my day. Somehow she reminds me of chinese class (haha) she's always so happy and smiling i dont know how to do it but you should teach me some of it. She always says the things that i need to know or dont want to face and gets me through anything no matter how rough.

I was there
When the sun wasn’t shining
When the pain was blinding you
With those tears and fears

Never give in
To sadness that surrounds you
Find a way to reach deep inside
And just let your love shine through
Cause tomorrow is just a little step away
I’ll be there to help you start believe in love again
Tell me that you’re waiting
Waiting for that happiness

Is there an easier way into your heart
Must be some ways where we can make a start
I am for realAnd I’m just a step away
And when you leave the painful past behind
You’ll see the world with a different state of mind
I will be there
I’m waiting to see your smile

left a chocolate stain @ 7:21 AM

Upper respiratory infection sounds so serious but actually its just a cough zz my toilet is strawberry scented! 2days no school feels real good i havent felt this way in ages this is when i miss my holidays the most.

i'm so happy this someone messaged me today, you still remember me!

happy 11th and 2days (i win this one)
xo

left a chocolate stain @ 7:02 AM

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Cause if you're not really here,
then the stars don't even matter.
Now i'm filled to the top with fear,
but it's all just a bunch of matter

Cause if you're not really here,
then i don't want to be either.
I wanna be next to you

its 1st april,
happy eleventh :)

oh april fools do you think training is a joke, i've got hopes

left a chocolate stain @ 7:39 AM

Sunday, March 29, 2009

i miss sc i miss my old teammates i miss everything to do with last year changes this year arent doing me any good at all i miss prom i miss milo i miss stayover's at nicole's house i miss debs shouting into my ear i miss cam whoring in the ugly blue uniform i miss my school bus i miss having a common recess i miss sitting with the same people for break and recess i miss going for psg I MISS OUR BINTAN TRIP i miss, i miss everything not having to do with this whole new environment i'd do anything to rewind time and change things right now i dont want to take the consequences for my choices i'm not saying everything bout now is bad some people just make it better and help me through but i dont think i'm gonna make it..i dont think i'm gonna survive for 2 whole years like this.

this stress is unhealthy seriously my stools harden, the lack of sleep and emotional stress that comes alonng with the frustration is too much to take everyday i want to just lie in bed and let the day just pass by, watch the sunsets and reflect about everything, thinking about nothing. Whining is the only thing i can do right now what what what should i do should i just sit back and endure just like others who felt/feel the same way as me or should i do something about it and risk making another mistake again but at the same time getting a chance of making things a whole lot better.

i'm having wishful thoughts.

season's coming in 24 days. i'm looking forward to seeing AB, Charlie and PO. i'm dreading it as well how ironic is that i decided to get at least a bruise every game/trng or else it means i'm not putting in enough effort but is all the effort gonna be worth it who am i doing it for i dont think doing it for myself is a good enough reason.. thank you everyone whose been encouraging me i need to put a shield around myself and block out these emotional thoughts and feelings just for this upcoming season, lets hope it last

i miss my bobby <3

left a chocolate stain @ 8:30 AM

Monday, March 23, 2009

someone unexpected asked me lately why i've been so detatched lately, stayed up an thought about it for hours and finally replied : I dont know why i've been more distant from people i dont feel myself in school i hardly feel real joy and happiness anymore. things that make me upset keep coming up and spoiling my day i'm starting to think if the problem lies with me...

left a chocolate stain @ 8:40 AM

Thursday, March 19, 2009

i miss bobby like to the maxxxxxxxxxxxxx

left a chocolate stain @ 6:12 AM