Journal of my life
Sunday, August 24, 2008
I have decided to start anew.
Kindly follow the link below to my new blog:)
chocoboeya.blogspot.com
Thanks and sorry for the long hiatus. ¶ 1:06 AM 0 Comments
Kindly follow the link below to my new blog:)
chocoboeya.blogspot.com
Thanks and sorry for the long hiatus. ¶ 1:06 AM 0 Comments
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Sometimes..
Just sometimes..I wish I had a punching bag.
Something to punch at when I'm just at the tip of the iceberg.
No acts of rage of course. But it's a good anger outlet.
That aside,
I'm just too lazy to blog anymore at times.
Sometimes life is just full of disappointments.
And sometimes it's just full of surprises.
And happy moments.
And what nots.
I'm falling short.
Falling short on how life should be.
Feeling that things are overated.
Losing sight of what's really important and what's not.
Feels like I'm being half assed/ half expectant of things.
Like I'm becoming cynical.
Cynical to a point that I'm even scared that I'm that cynical.
What happen to the innocent view of things?
The naiveness of it all.
When things didn't seem so freaking jaded...
And life was just simple and blissful, full of happy thoughts and ignorance I guess.
I'm sick of all of this.
Won't it just stop?
Stop playing around with my emotions
With my life
With my thoughts
My mind
I just want to be optimistic
Want to push for greater heights
Want to believe in a greater cause to life
To hold on to a stronger believe in God.
And to believe that only He can turn such things around for me.
To be the best I can be.
Is that too hard to ask of? ¶ 1:21 AM 2 Comments
Just sometimes..I wish I had a punching bag.
Something to punch at when I'm just at the tip of the iceberg.
No acts of rage of course. But it's a good anger outlet.
That aside,
I'm just too lazy to blog anymore at times.
Sometimes life is just full of disappointments.
And sometimes it's just full of surprises.
And happy moments.
And what nots.
I'm falling short.
Falling short on how life should be.
Feeling that things are overated.
Losing sight of what's really important and what's not.
Feels like I'm being half assed/ half expectant of things.
Like I'm becoming cynical.
Cynical to a point that I'm even scared that I'm that cynical.
What happen to the innocent view of things?
The naiveness of it all.
When things didn't seem so freaking jaded...
And life was just simple and blissful, full of happy thoughts and ignorance I guess.
I'm sick of all of this.
Won't it just stop?
Stop playing around with my emotions
With my life
With my thoughts
My mind
I just want to be optimistic
Want to push for greater heights
Want to believe in a greater cause to life
To hold on to a stronger believe in God.
And to believe that only He can turn such things around for me.
To be the best I can be.
Is that too hard to ask of? ¶ 1:21 AM 2 Comments
Sunday, June 15, 2008
I dreamt about you.
You were leaving.
And you asked me how I felt about it..
I told you that I would be sad and I would really miss you when you're gone.
Then I woke up.
Realising it was just a dream, which could turn into reality.
But it's not like you would be affected by what I say or feel for the matter.
Bah I hate emo dreams. ¶ 4:15 PM 0 Comments
You were leaving.
And you asked me how I felt about it..
I told you that I would be sad and I would really miss you when you're gone.
Then I woke up.
Realising it was just a dream, which could turn into reality.
But it's not like you would be affected by what I say or feel for the matter.
Bah I hate emo dreams. ¶ 4:15 PM 0 Comments
Sunday, May 25, 2008
I don't know what I am doing nowadays.
Just feels so lost at times you know.
Sigh.
Sometimes I really wonder how long this season of singleness will last.
On one hand it's great being single, and on the other there's just a longing to have someone at your side.
What's worst is entertaining the idea of being single at 30 and being a cynical person.
Omg.
But things don't always go the way we want it to, no?
We fall for people who don't have the same feelings for us.
The people we don't fall for seem to fall for us.
And the chances of it being mutual...really depends I guess.
Sometimes I just want to sit here and wait. Not move on.
It's hard when you're in contact with that person still and you're just friends.
It is VERY hard.
I'm not planning to sound desperate.
Just that looking back at the past 9 months, I feel like a failure.
Failing myself in so many ways it's uncountable.
But yet, I don't want to dwell on it.
Guess it's time to do something about it.
However, I just lack that motivation/drive/determination to do things that I know are beneficial.
Sigh.
Sorry for the emo post.
Just so happen to be thinking about all these things.
Freaking annoying.
Arghhh.. ¶ 5:37 PM 1 Comments
Just feels so lost at times you know.
Sigh.
Sometimes I really wonder how long this season of singleness will last.
On one hand it's great being single, and on the other there's just a longing to have someone at your side.
What's worst is entertaining the idea of being single at 30 and being a cynical person.
Omg.
But things don't always go the way we want it to, no?
We fall for people who don't have the same feelings for us.
The people we don't fall for seem to fall for us.
And the chances of it being mutual...really depends I guess.
Sometimes I just want to sit here and wait. Not move on.
It's hard when you're in contact with that person still and you're just friends.
It is VERY hard.
I'm not planning to sound desperate.
Just that looking back at the past 9 months, I feel like a failure.
Failing myself in so many ways it's uncountable.
But yet, I don't want to dwell on it.
Guess it's time to do something about it.
However, I just lack that motivation/drive/determination to do things that I know are beneficial.
Sigh.
Sorry for the emo post.
Just so happen to be thinking about all these things.
Freaking annoying.
Arghhh.. ¶ 5:37 PM 1 Comments
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
It's truly amazing to see how much political upset there is in the country.
Read this site for all the injustice in Malaysia.
If many of you Malaysian's know who Raja Petra Kamaruddin is, you know he is fighting for a good cause.
I have TOTALLY lost confidence and faith in the current govt run by BN.
All I can agree to is my superior's words 'God Damn Barisan'.
How can an innocent man, who just spoke his mind and I'm quite sure he would have his facts and proofs, be put to jail?
When the focus should be on the guilty and the higher ups who try to cover the whole issue?
This country is literally going down the dumps if the leaders do not take action.
Where can we move when all the uncommon or higher up people don't even know how to move us forward and are only wondering bout their pockets?
Literally, I am TRULY ashamed of being a Malaysian when you read of all these events.
Sometimes I wish there was some one like V.
V for Vendetta.
V for Vigilante.
Who takes justice into their own hands.
But that is just a movie.
Oh well, maybe I'm just babbling nonsense.
But a lot of the rakyat are already annoyed with the govt run by BN.
And it seems it might explode anytime soon.
Just going to take a back seat and watch as the events unfold... ¶ 10:33 PM 0 Comments
Read this site for all the injustice in Malaysia.
If many of you Malaysian's know who Raja Petra Kamaruddin is, you know he is fighting for a good cause.
I have TOTALLY lost confidence and faith in the current govt run by BN.
All I can agree to is my superior's words 'God Damn Barisan'.
How can an innocent man, who just spoke his mind and I'm quite sure he would have his facts and proofs, be put to jail?
When the focus should be on the guilty and the higher ups who try to cover the whole issue?
This country is literally going down the dumps if the leaders do not take action.
Where can we move when all the uncommon or higher up people don't even know how to move us forward and are only wondering bout their pockets?
Literally, I am TRULY ashamed of being a Malaysian when you read of all these events.
Sometimes I wish there was some one like V.
V for Vendetta.
V for Vigilante.
Who takes justice into their own hands.
But that is just a movie.
Oh well, maybe I'm just babbling nonsense.
But a lot of the rakyat are already annoyed with the govt run by BN.
And it seems it might explode anytime soon.
Just going to take a back seat and watch as the events unfold... ¶ 10:33 PM 0 Comments
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Iron man rocks!:)
Awesome movie.
On a side note, got myself a new pc and fell into debt with my parents.
Now I officially owe them additional 300 for the next year thanks to my new pc.
But I am loving it. Loving the 22 inch screen.
And the processor capabilities of my new pc!:)
Ah~
I don't know what to do anymore.
My life is not going anywhere at the moment.
And I'm still emo.
Sigh. ¶ 12:38 AM 0 Comments
Awesome movie.
On a side note, got myself a new pc and fell into debt with my parents.
Now I officially owe them additional 300 for the next year thanks to my new pc.
But I am loving it. Loving the 22 inch screen.
And the processor capabilities of my new pc!:)
Ah~
I don't know what to do anymore.
My life is not going anywhere at the moment.
And I'm still emo.
Sigh. ¶ 12:38 AM 0 Comments
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
To ask me to forget you is nearly impossible.
To even stop liking you is not easy.
OMG.
Being emo sucks.
Bleh. ¶ 12:14 AM 0 Comments
To even stop liking you is not easy.
OMG.
Being emo sucks.
Bleh. ¶ 12:14 AM 0 Comments
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Based on this site..I'm an intellectual whore and I've been a cuddle b*tch.
Ladder theory. Explains so many things, please mind you it's a bit crude tho.
But most of the things stated in the site is so true..from what I know.
Oh well, so much for being a good person and all... ¶ 12:15 AM 0 Comments
Ladder theory. Explains so many things, please mind you it's a bit crude tho.
But most of the things stated in the site is so true..from what I know.
Oh well, so much for being a good person and all... ¶ 12:15 AM 0 Comments
Monday, April 21, 2008
It's so hard to let go.
It's so hard to just leave it be.
It's so hard to change.
Sigh.. ¶ 12:33 AM 0 Comments
It's so hard to just leave it be.
It's so hard to change.
Sigh.. ¶ 12:33 AM 0 Comments
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Whatever la.
I'm not gonna think bout it. I'll face reality. If that's how it's got to be, then so be it.
No point wasting so much time and energy thinking bout all this crap.
:)
Let's just be friends and leave it there from now on. No more weird feelings and all this day forth. No more communication more than necessary. No more confusion.
It's time.
Thank you. ¶ 9:45 PM 0 Comments
I'm not gonna think bout it. I'll face reality. If that's how it's got to be, then so be it.
No point wasting so much time and energy thinking bout all this crap.
:)
Let's just be friends and leave it there from now on. No more weird feelings and all this day forth. No more communication more than necessary. No more confusion.
It's time.
Thank you. ¶ 9:45 PM 0 Comments
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Fragile.
That's all I can use to describe life and the bonds/relationships we have with others.
I guess there are times when I just want to break certain bonds. I don't see the point of keeping them.
When all that happens is being mistreated, being hurt, keeping the dagger there in the wound without completely pulling it out.
Damn. And then those that treat me really well, I tend to overlook.
Life is screwed up.
It's time to rearrange and reprioritize. To appreciate the people I take for granted.
To change.
I'm off to bed. ¶ 12:10 AM 0 Comments
That's all I can use to describe life and the bonds/relationships we have with others.
I guess there are times when I just want to break certain bonds. I don't see the point of keeping them.
When all that happens is being mistreated, being hurt, keeping the dagger there in the wound without completely pulling it out.
Damn. And then those that treat me really well, I tend to overlook.
Life is screwed up.
It's time to rearrange and reprioritize. To appreciate the people I take for granted.
To change.
I'm off to bed. ¶ 12:10 AM 0 Comments
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Reminisce
I reminisce of my uni days. My college days. When life was so much simpler.
I don't know what's gotten into me to feel such emoness of missing my studying life.
Working life is totally a whole different ball game.
But I just miss the times I was in college or uni. The time when I first flew into UK. I miss it so.
The first time being in a foreign land. Sigh.
Tsuen, you better enjoy your time left overseas. Trust me.
Oh well, life has to go on no matter what. The ball keeps on rolling.
Now it's just time to seize the moment and live for the day.
Going to excel in everything I do. 110%!:) ¶ 11:39 PM 0 Comments
I don't know what's gotten into me to feel such emoness of missing my studying life.
Working life is totally a whole different ball game.
But I just miss the times I was in college or uni. The time when I first flew into UK. I miss it so.
The first time being in a foreign land. Sigh.
Tsuen, you better enjoy your time left overseas. Trust me.
Oh well, life has to go on no matter what. The ball keeps on rolling.
Now it's just time to seize the moment and live for the day.
Going to excel in everything I do. 110%!:) ¶ 11:39 PM 0 Comments
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Emotions
:S
No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to leave my emotions at the door.
I just want to leave it be.
I can't see any thing further then where I am at already.
Sigh.
Nothing's worst then losing sight of your goal or realising that it is nearly impossible to achieve it.
Damn. ¶ 11:59 PM 0 Comments
No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to leave my emotions at the door.
I just want to leave it be.
I can't see any thing further then where I am at already.
Sigh.
Nothing's worst then losing sight of your goal or realising that it is nearly impossible to achieve it.
Damn. ¶ 11:59 PM 0 Comments
Shucks.
I just changed my templates and forgot to save my links.
ARR.. and now I have a blog with no links to other blogsites. Shucks.
Have to relink but I'm so lazy.
Oh well, it'll just have to wait then. I hope this new template is fine for those people who keep on complaining my previous template was too small or such. No more complains now.:P ¶ 10:17 PM 0 Comments
I just changed my templates and forgot to save my links.
ARR.. and now I have a blog with no links to other blogsites. Shucks.
Have to relink but I'm so lazy.
Oh well, it'll just have to wait then. I hope this new template is fine for those people who keep on complaining my previous template was too small or such. No more complains now.:P ¶ 10:17 PM 0 Comments
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Perseverance.
They always say perseverance always provides results.
I'm still questioning that in certain aspects.
Anyhow, I need to learn patience and perseverance myself. I definitely can't expect to see results immediately without putting much effort into it.
The dilemma then comes if I should put a lot of effort, a little effort or no effort at all? Then again it all depends on the outcomes I want to see. Right?
I'm talking rubbish, but one thing for sure is I just need to be patient and continue doing what I do. The time will come when change will inevitably happen whether for better or worse I don't know.
Change.
I need change. I want change. I desire change.
To break free from the norms of life, to break free from the old self I have been.
To become a better person. To just be and not to be.
I long to be different, I seek change. I seek to be closer, to be stronger, to be more than who I am right now.
I need to be different, I need to be a better person.
Sigh.
But still I can never understand why the heart works the way it does..? Playing emotions on you and just toying with you to only leave you empty and hurt.
I don't want to be jaded anymore. I want to renew my mind.
Help me, God. Amen. ¶ 9:34 PM 0 Comments
They always say perseverance always provides results.
I'm still questioning that in certain aspects.
Anyhow, I need to learn patience and perseverance myself. I definitely can't expect to see results immediately without putting much effort into it.
The dilemma then comes if I should put a lot of effort, a little effort or no effort at all? Then again it all depends on the outcomes I want to see. Right?
I'm talking rubbish, but one thing for sure is I just need to be patient and continue doing what I do. The time will come when change will inevitably happen whether for better or worse I don't know.
Change.
I need change. I want change. I desire change.
To break free from the norms of life, to break free from the old self I have been.
To become a better person. To just be and not to be.
I long to be different, I seek change. I seek to be closer, to be stronger, to be more than who I am right now.
I need to be different, I need to be a better person.
Sigh.
But still I can never understand why the heart works the way it does..? Playing emotions on you and just toying with you to only leave you empty and hurt.
I don't want to be jaded anymore. I want to renew my mind.
Help me, God. Amen. ¶ 9:34 PM 0 Comments
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.
1. At what age do you wish to marry?
Um..30 is my ideal age of course. Stable in career, emotionally, and everything else comes together well at 30. Perfect age. But it's just an ideal age..
2.Will you like someone that is younger than you?
Haha..yep. Better than being together with someone older at times? I prefer younger or same age. No older ladies please.:P But then again, I would never know..
3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Australia, or somewhere where I know a lot of people. Man travelling alone would be dull.-_-
4. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be? To be successful in everything I do and by being so because of having the favour of God.:)
5. Do you believe you can survive without money
Easily said than done. But I believe I can't survive without money in day-to-day basis. But if it's just a one time off thing, then sure I can survive once in awhile. There's always credit cards. HAHA:P
6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
The relationships that I have now with friends, family and God. It'd suck to be alone in the world.
7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Invest in property and buy myself a nice house. :P HAHA. Or I'd just invest in chemical businesses. Profitable ei..
8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Yeah I would. I would do so even if it's really damn hard and shy to do so, but I know I would when I'm sure that I love her.:)
9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
(i) Errr...hahaha. She's a good person to talk to.
(ii) A good leader so far though a bit quiet.
(iii) A very good listener.:)
10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
This is tough. HAHA. For one, I want someone who can complement me the most. Someone independent, that I can respect for who she is, God fearing, strong Christian, clicks with me easily and who loves me for who I am and doesn't want to change me so much. Just to list a few.:P hahaha.
11. Which type of person do you hate the most?
Fake people who aren't genuine and always try to impress people.
12. If you are given the chance to go back to the past and make a difference, will you?
Suree!! But who's to say I'm not making a difference now?
13. What is the thing that will make you think that he/she is bad?
Depends on what you mean by bad. Someone who is cold blooded and treats people like crap is someone I think as bad.
14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Thing ah..hard to say. But if it's something not alive, I would say relationships with people. But if it's someone, I would say it has to be God.
15. Are you a shopaholic or not?
Nope, but I'm a compulsive shopper at times.:P
16. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
To be more sensitive and bit more opened and talkative.
17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
Tsuen. Definitely.
18. What's your weakest point?
Not being motivated enough, not driven enough to reach my own goals. Working on that now. Sigh.
19. What's the thing that you're most proud of?
Being able to see the youth of CBC come together and be so well bonded.:) If it's about me, it would have to be the fact that I strike everyone as someone jovial and happy.
20. Are you going to school/college/work tomorrow ?
Yup to work. Day Long meeting awaits.
You Are tagged!!:
Raymond Yong
Grace Tham
Huei Tsuen
Karen Lee (from Sri AMan)
Wong Soo Ann
Sern Liang
Karina (again..)
1. At what age do you wish to marry?
Um..30 is my ideal age of course. Stable in career, emotionally, and everything else comes together well at 30. Perfect age. But it's just an ideal age..
2.Will you like someone that is younger than you?
Haha..yep. Better than being together with someone older at times? I prefer younger or same age. No older ladies please.:P But then again, I would never know..
3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Australia, or somewhere where I know a lot of people. Man travelling alone would be dull.-_-
4. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be? To be successful in everything I do and by being so because of having the favour of God.:)
5. Do you believe you can survive without money
Easily said than done. But I believe I can't survive without money in day-to-day basis. But if it's just a one time off thing, then sure I can survive once in awhile. There's always credit cards. HAHA:P
6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
The relationships that I have now with friends, family and God. It'd suck to be alone in the world.
7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Invest in property and buy myself a nice house. :P HAHA. Or I'd just invest in chemical businesses. Profitable ei..
8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Yeah I would. I would do so even if it's really damn hard and shy to do so, but I know I would when I'm sure that I love her.:)
9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
(i) Errr...hahaha. She's a good person to talk to.
(ii) A good leader so far though a bit quiet.
(iii) A very good listener.:)
10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
This is tough. HAHA. For one, I want someone who can complement me the most. Someone independent, that I can respect for who she is, God fearing, strong Christian, clicks with me easily and who loves me for who I am and doesn't want to change me so much. Just to list a few.:P hahaha.
11. Which type of person do you hate the most?
Fake people who aren't genuine and always try to impress people.
12. If you are given the chance to go back to the past and make a difference, will you?
Suree!! But who's to say I'm not making a difference now?
13. What is the thing that will make you think that he/she is bad?
Depends on what you mean by bad. Someone who is cold blooded and treats people like crap is someone I think as bad.
14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Thing ah..hard to say. But if it's something not alive, I would say relationships with people. But if it's someone, I would say it has to be God.
15. Are you a shopaholic or not?
Nope, but I'm a compulsive shopper at times.:P
16. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
To be more sensitive and bit more opened and talkative.
17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
Tsuen. Definitely.
18. What's your weakest point?
Not being motivated enough, not driven enough to reach my own goals. Working on that now. Sigh.
19. What's the thing that you're most proud of?
Being able to see the youth of CBC come together and be so well bonded.:) If it's about me, it would have to be the fact that I strike everyone as someone jovial and happy.
20. Are you going to school/college/work tomorrow ?
Yup to work. Day Long meeting awaits.
You Are tagged!!:
Raymond Yong
Grace Tham
Huei Tsuen
Karen Lee (from Sri AMan)
Wong Soo Ann
Sern Liang
Karina (again..)
Anyone who is reading my blog...
Monday, March 24, 2008
To the bestest and closest girl friend I can ever have......HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY!
HAhahaha. I could never ask for a better friend than you.
Hope you have a blast as you grow one year olderrrrrr..nyahahaha.:)
May you find what you desire and may the Lord always pour His favour on you.
Wheeee...! And please, do come back soon? HAHA. I miss having you around to talk a lot of crap with. AHAHA. Enjoy yourself!
Come to think of it, I look so much thinner in this pic. OMG. 1 year changes a lot of things. HAHA.:)
Happy birthday anyways!! ENJOY TSUENS!
¶ 12:08 AM 0 Comments
Sunday, March 02, 2008
The soul yearns for it.
The person longs for it.
But reality is the opposite.
It's been 3-4 years going around and around.
I want it, but I don't think I'll get it.
If only life were simpler, or maybe I'm just making it too complexed.
Save me from this misery.
All I want is just to be in your presence.
Sigh. ¶ 5:43 PM 0 Comments
The person longs for it.
But reality is the opposite.
It's been 3-4 years going around and around.
I want it, but I don't think I'll get it.
If only life were simpler, or maybe I'm just making it too complexed.
Save me from this misery.
All I want is just to be in your presence.
Sigh. ¶ 5:43 PM 0 Comments
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Demons within.
Hidden skeletons in the closets.
Becoming apparent.
I need to get rid of them for good.
Going to really improve myself this year.
Time to shake myself up again. Taking things for granted.
Just shoot me please.
I'm becoming the person I don't want to be.
Sigh. ¶ 1:07 AM 0 Comments
Hidden skeletons in the closets.
Becoming apparent.
I need to get rid of them for good.
Going to really improve myself this year.
Time to shake myself up again. Taking things for granted.
Just shoot me please.
I'm becoming the person I don't want to be.
Sigh. ¶ 1:07 AM 0 Comments
Monday, February 04, 2008
Here is where it all starts.
Here is where it all stops.
Here is where it all begins.
Here is where it all ends.
Diverging.
Parting.
Leaving.
Distancing.
I feel it so.
Tell me it's just me.
I need to get a hold of myself again.
-Random writings- ¶ 8:15 PM 0 Comments
Here is where it all stops.
Here is where it all begins.
Here is where it all ends.
Diverging.
Parting.
Leaving.
Distancing.
I feel it so.
Tell me it's just me.
I need to get a hold of myself again.
-Random writings- ¶ 8:15 PM 0 Comments
Monday, January 28, 2008
Sometimes in life, I just have the urge to just go against everything I believe in.
Well I don't know if it's Christlike or not, but I guess it's just me. Sometimes there's so damn many expectations of us, that I feel like I just want to go against all of those expectations.
To just break every single one of them. Just to live my life the way I want it and not the way other people dictate it to be.
Interesting isn't it? We live most of our lives meeting expectations of people, be it our friends, parents, spouses, bosses whoever.
What happens if just in one single day, you just broke all of their expectations?
Would be interesting to try out.
That being said, my principles will still be my principles. It's just the thought that other people try and shove things down your throat and force you to swallow it...can I just puke it all out ar?
However, it could just be the rebellious side of me speaking.
I told myself I'd never want to be emo again, and all I got from that is a jaded perception of girls. OMG. I wish sometimes I could rewind to the time I was naive. But that will never happen.
I have this disability now to show my emotions, or so as tsuen says that I don't display them very obviously. Then I learn that I don't flirt, I guess I don't really. I don't know why.
Maybe it's cos I was raised up with 3 sisters that I learnt to treat every girl I meet with respect and as a sister. Dammit. Hahaha. Oh well, no complaining. Just gotta take it slow. I'm sure God has prepared someone for me..it's all just a matter of time and taking action.
This year is going to be my year of discovery. To discover myself, my weaknesses and my strengths. To repair what has been faulty for years though it's dam tough. I wish sometimes I was living on my own..it helps me to face my responsibilities even more. Also a year to get myself fit again.
:)
Being emo-less is quite fun, but I am still not facing my main issue which is how to conduct myself when I'm emo or when things go awkward. Sigh. Why is life so complicated?
Gonna head to bed or else I'd be sleeping at work tmr. Just some random ramblings... ¶ 12:11 AM 0 Comments
Well I don't know if it's Christlike or not, but I guess it's just me. Sometimes there's so damn many expectations of us, that I feel like I just want to go against all of those expectations.
To just break every single one of them. Just to live my life the way I want it and not the way other people dictate it to be.
Interesting isn't it? We live most of our lives meeting expectations of people, be it our friends, parents, spouses, bosses whoever.
What happens if just in one single day, you just broke all of their expectations?
Would be interesting to try out.
That being said, my principles will still be my principles. It's just the thought that other people try and shove things down your throat and force you to swallow it...can I just puke it all out ar?
However, it could just be the rebellious side of me speaking.
I told myself I'd never want to be emo again, and all I got from that is a jaded perception of girls. OMG. I wish sometimes I could rewind to the time I was naive. But that will never happen.
I have this disability now to show my emotions, or so as tsuen says that I don't display them very obviously. Then I learn that I don't flirt, I guess I don't really. I don't know why.
Maybe it's cos I was raised up with 3 sisters that I learnt to treat every girl I meet with respect and as a sister. Dammit. Hahaha. Oh well, no complaining. Just gotta take it slow. I'm sure God has prepared someone for me..it's all just a matter of time and taking action.
This year is going to be my year of discovery. To discover myself, my weaknesses and my strengths. To repair what has been faulty for years though it's dam tough. I wish sometimes I was living on my own..it helps me to face my responsibilities even more. Also a year to get myself fit again.
:)
Being emo-less is quite fun, but I am still not facing my main issue which is how to conduct myself when I'm emo or when things go awkward. Sigh. Why is life so complicated?
Gonna head to bed or else I'd be sleeping at work tmr. Just some random ramblings... ¶ 12:11 AM 0 Comments
