一念之差

I'm feeling exactly the same way I did when I failed my second driving test for not sticking to the left lane of the roundabout. For some inexplicable reason, I just have to make the wrong decisions - especially when I have every reason not to. There was this feeling lurking inside me that there was a better option right there. But I just had to choose to ignore it. I always go wrong at the simplest binary steps. I feel so angry at myself; more so when I can't find any reasons to explain why I made such a blatant error. So utterly disappointed too, because this is my favourite subject and I really enjoyed studying it.

But tomorrow is the last paper! The end is in sight, and I have got to do what I can to salvage this mess I've made and make sure tomorrow ends on a good note! I can already hear papa mama's voices ringing in my head: 越战越勇! Looking forward to drama/movie marathons and loads of good food!

Everyone 加油!!!

Where butterflies flutter by

Just stop for this moment. Let your mind drift off with those clouds. Ride on one of these marshmallows and roam over the boundless pastel blue skies. Once in a while you take a bite of it and it tastes like cotton candy. With a little strawberry tinge. Bite some more and there you have it, the shape of a heart suspended in mid air. Hungry no more, you look up and notice all the shimmering stars twinkling happily all around you. You reach out to touch just one of them and it feels like magic. You can even feel fairy dust sprinkled all over you. It puzzles you why you've never noticed them before, when they have been there all along. But it doesn't matter anymore. Now you have the key to this secret sanctuary, it's just right there in your mind's eye.

Yatta!

I took a long, long journey to get here. So long that this feels a little surreal, a little dreamy, even a little miraculous. Maybe not just a little - considering how I've been failing time after time, forever and ever. At times it almost seemed like my stubbornness was merely fueling this vicious cycle that was leading me nowhere. The uncanny circumstances that unfolded yesterday evening just crippled all my hopes of passing. But. I did it.  I have finally done it! I can't find the right words to convey my happiness, relief and gratitude. Every single time I fail, my mind tortures itself with all the "should-have-been"s and "could-have-been"s over and over again. "I should have stuck to the left-hand lane. I should have stepped on the accelerator more. I could have passed. Today could have been such a happy day.." And now that Today has materialized, I just feel incredibly moved. Because efforts do pay off, because all that hard work, time and money had not gone in vain, because I couldn't have done this on my own, and because I refused to give up. Thank you everyone, especially my family, my instructor, my housemates, and all who've supported me during this long, long journey. Also, special mention to the god(s?) above.

刚才打电话给爸爸跟他分享我的喜悦。能听到他的声音，真的好高兴，好安慰。不知不觉，说完好消息后，就觉得喉咙有块石头似的，说不出话来了。对于爸爸的嘘寒问暖，我却一个字也说不出口。接着连眼睛也开始模糊了，有种说不出的感动。好感动。

哥哥说你猜猜今天为什么下雨。。

原来 MIKAI 把晴天娃娃吃了！

"Miserable weather is likely to mar the Easter weekend, despite the passing of snow storms which have hit UK areas."

This must be the coldest and wettest spring ever. It's been freezing cold these few days and the sun has just mysteriously disappeared and hidden itself behind a curtain of gloomy clouds. The winds keep on blowing at full-blast, and I wish they can just blow the rain-clouds away. And snow storms in Scotland in this season? It almost feels wrong to be in the daylight saving time zone now. Maybe this is heaven's attempt at an April Fools' joke.

It's not funny, though. But it feels quite cool (in every sense of the word) that my room windows have got this misty appearance, whether from the traces of rain drops, or from vapour condensation. It feels so much like winter is here. 真的好有寒窗苦读的感觉啊!