こんなに近くで

 

I just finished watching the first season of Nodame Cantabile anime! It’s so incredibly sweet and I like it so much more than the drama (which I really like to begin with)! I got hooked onto it ever since Anime Soc screened the first episode last Saturday. It was such a pleasant surprise that they chose this anime as the random one to show for the week! That kind of happiness is almost analogous to.. Receiving 1 pound Oxford-London return coach tickets out of the blue (which really happened at Freshers’ Fair)! Just when you least expect it. A dear friend of mine will be pleased to know that “Natsume’s Book of Friends” is on their selected list of animes to be screened weekly! The entire Nodame anime soundtrack is simply amazing. Classical music aside, I really like this particular song, ‘Konna ni Chikaku de’. The sung version is nice and upbeat.. And this piano rendition is nothing short of beautiful:

The best thing is.. I just realized that the composer of this song (and the entire soundtrack) is the same person who composed ‘Toki wo Koete’ – the theme song for Be With You! It’s no coincidence that I feel so much affinity towards the song! He’s 松谷卓!! I love his musical style. His compositions are always so poignant and they have this uncanny element of sentimentality that draw me to listen to them over and over again. It makes me wonder what kind of character he must be, to be able to infuse such emotions into his music.

This is one of my favourite scenes in the anime; when Nodame realises that she has fallen in love with Chiaki! It’s so adorably sweet.

I am so tempted to continue watching the remaining seasons! This first season ended perfectly. But the knowledge that there are these two seasons around provides enough impulse to make me continue. It will be difficult to find time to watch more of it now though.. School is getting busier and busier, and there are just too many things happening every single day. Maybe this is why the days are beginning to flash by. Time is passing by too quickly, once again, and being conscious of this doesn’t slow things down in any way at all. It’s been almost 4 weeks since I arrived in Oxford and started a new chapter of my life here. Between then and now, I’ve matriculated into this school, and have also concluded my chapter at Imperial College with graduation last Wednesday. I am still in disbelief that it has been three years. The memories of those three years still feel so near, and so close to me, こんなに近くで. It’s mystical, isn’t it, how time just slips by and you reach the end, always before you know it. Exactly like how today has just flown by in a whirl and it’s now time to sleep.

Cycling in Oxford

Presenting.. my very own bike! It now has a cool basket installed in front as well! I’m using my laptop lock to lock my bike for now; I wonder how much of a theft deterrent it really is.. I’ll get a proper lock soon!

Today’s the first day I cycled to and fro the hospital! When I told some friends, they thought I had purposefully chosen the hospital as my destination so it would be easier to seek medical help if I were to get into an accident. Seems like no one has any faith in my cycling abilities! (Actually, me too.) The truth is, my lectures are all based at the JR hospital in Headington – which is quite a distance away from my college accommodation in the city centre. I’ve been taking the bus there for the past couple of days, but I guess I’ve found a better means of transportation there now! The bus tickets are just too expensive.

I’ve actually bought my bike a couple of days ago from a random guy on the internet. He sold it to me for 40 pounds, which I find is a really good price for a second hand mountain bike, and it does ride very well! Nonetheless, owing to the numerous phobic and disastrous experiences I’ve had on this two-wheeled piece of metal, I didn’t have the courage to venture out on the roads immediately after I got the bike. Today my friend offered to cycle with me so I felt so much more safe and secure! Thankfully, nothing major happened! After I got used to cycling alongside cars and buses and gigantic trucks, it got really fun too! And it was somewhat endearing to be cycling along those tracks with many other cyclists. There is just this killer upslope that we have to go past on our way to the hospital, and it is so tiring to go up that.. But there is always the upside that the journey back home is completely effortless and thrilling! Maybe even euphoric. It feels so good to just look forward and ride on the cool autumn wind; whizz past all sights and sounds, without having to move any part of your body at all.

Here’s my super cool one-of-a-kind bike lock.

For some unknown reason, I’ve always been excited by the prospect of cycling to school. Now that I can finally do it here (and hopefully keep myself safe at the same time), it’s like my dream has come true in Harry Potter land and I just feel so happy!

 

Every 2nd and 8th minute of every 10 minutes

I think I am supposed to be writing up my report right now. I have to show it to my supervisor tomorrow. But it seems so long - too long - since I've written a report of any sort, and I just can't remember what it is like. Especially with my state of mind now, I don't think I'm capable of writing anything vaguely scientific. Today has been a day of mad rushing, running, and more rushing. Pipetting marathons followed by crazy sprinting around the labs. I ran from one building to another (no, they're not insanely far apart, but far enough to force me into running to get my results at the right timings) many, many times. It used to take me 10 minutes to get there (also because I always lose my way), but it only took me 2 minutes today. It was absolutely insane. I'm very sure all the training I got from running after buses did pay off today. At one point, I even left my access card at one lab and almost couldn't get into the other building. When I realized I forgot my card, I think I was at the halfway point between the two buildings, and I must have literally stood there, trying to decide whether I should turn back to get my card, or just head on and hope for the best. I had only 3 more minutes to get to my plate in the other lab! By that time, most people had already ended work and left the campus.. I guess the optimism in me won in the end, and I just continued on, all the while looking at my watch and willing for either time to stop or for someone to be there to help me open the doors. Thank goodness one of the entrance doors was an inch away from closing, and thank goodness for the lady with the nice smile who was the only person left in the office and had lent me her card to get back into the other lab. I had to make another trip back to return her card, and I didn't even have time to properly explain things to her before I dashed away yet again. Craziness! Many other crazy things happened today too. Science has never, ever been so exciting before. Today I also got to come home from work in a posh taxi because I ended later than the latest bus service home. The sky in the evening was so pretty with so many clouds of all shapes and sizes. As I looked through the window of the car I could almost hear 'Toki wo kizamu uta' playing in my mind. It was such a fun day. And right now, I feel like I'll fall straight into the depths of dreamland once I shut my eyes. Oh no, now who's going to write my report for me..

Some websites really exist for very weird reasons..

(C)The Future Photo Museum (C)Free Game FREEM Supported by Free Online Game Matome

Train your brain!

I spent the whole of my Sunday playing brain games! So geeky, I know! But it’s really fantastic entertainment! Besides.. Geeks are cool anyway! It’s super fun and there’s quite a diverse repertoire of games that are all very cute! I’ve been trying to make full use of the free premium trial to play as much as possible. It’s really addictive and it gets more and more intense as you progress. It feels like I’m putting my brain on a treadmill that just keeps going faster and faster and faster! Penguin Pursuit really drove me crazy at first! It’s a game that trains spatial orientation, and I was really, really pathetic on my first try. Basically it’s about navigating a penguin through a maze as fast as possible before an enemy penguin reaches the food. Every few seconds the entire maze would change its orientation and I’ll be dumbfounded at the change and keep directing my poor penguin to bang its head against the walls. It’s so interesting how the game was spot-on at reflecting my poor (or rather, lack of) sense of direction in real life. Amazingly, after following through with just a few more of their training sessions (which are actually just more games), I got so much better at it, and I feel so proud of myself now! I really think these games work! Maybe I’ll never get lost anywhere anymore! Now I’m going to sound like I work for this company.. But do try playing it! It’s good fun, you’ll get to understand your brain and all its complexities better, and you’ll become smarter too! Or at least, I do feel a teeny weeny bit smarter whenever I break my own high scores!

And yet another weekend has slipped by, bringing me closer to home.

Today I:

• learnt how to set up a bioplex bead array. It’s such a clever technology! Especially the coding of the beads, bead suspension and vacuum filtering.. Sheer genius.
• was introduced to this cool online radio that recommends a personalized library of non-stop tracks according to your taste in music. It even has Chinese songs, and all sorts of classical and instrumentals! Yay, no need to repeatedly youtube for new songs for me anymore! It’s a very refreshing switch from shuffling tracks on the Ipod.
• made a really nice new friend
• met someone I never thought I would ever see again. The first time I met him was on the 2nd of July, barely a few days since I moved over to Oxfordshire. Our conversation started with me asking him, in a most peculiar way, “What happened to your shoe?” I had ended work later than usual that day, and it was just the two of us sitting in the sheltered bus stop. The weather was scorching hot, the sun was glaring directly in my eyes, and I dropped my head down, avoiding the rays while waiting for the bus that never seemed to come. That was when I noticed his pair of mismatched shoes. His right foot was in a sock and awkwardly slotted into a bathroom slipper, while his left foot wore a formal leather shoe. I remember thinking that he must have dropped his shoe somewhere, and my mind was just running through all the different possibilities. The next moment, before I even realized it, I heard myself asking the question aloud. He smiled at me, and told me that he actually fractured his toe! Ouch.. We ended up chatting on our bus ride home, and I learnt a lot from this stranger. There was this kindness and peace within him that struck me, and above all, I felt a sense of respect for him. It was a very comforting encounter, and I thought I would never see him again, as he would usually cycle to work, and I don’t end work at the same time as him. Indeed, I never did see him again. Not until today. It’s funny because I took the bus home at a really weird time today, but there he was, on the same bus. My first instinct was to look down at his shoes, and it was really nice to see that his toe had recovered! If not for that curious encounter, if I had still bumped into him again, I would have long forgotten that he was the man with the mismatched shoes. To me, he would have just been another ordinary stranger, nothing more meaningful. And strangely enough, this thought reminded me of my friends, and of the many immaculate moments when our paths crossed for the very first time, precious moments that made a difference to my life.
• had a really interesting discussion on religion with my new friend in Sainsbury’s. Stationed in between the frozen meat section and the vegetables corner, with my hands clutching the grocery basket all the while, we stood and talked, for what must have been over 1.5 hours, about a very important topic - in a place that is no less essential in our lives.
• felt so lucky to be here after I found out from my landlady that I’m the first person they’ve rented this room out to
• was overjoyed to receive a £10 Tesco gift card!
• heard the Byousoku 5 cm piano theme playing on the online radio! Amazing! The radio really knows my favourite songs!
• am going to end my favourite day of the week with a good novel before sleeping - without setting alarms!

This is an awareness test

Say cheese!

I got my new camera today! It’s a refurbished Canon Digital Ixus 95 in a super nice shade of blue! I bought it (together with a 4GB memory card) for £88 on ebay – even less than half the original retail price (around £180) which does not include any memory cards! After I confirmed that my old Casio camera was really dead (some water entered it when my water bottle leaked in my bag one fateful day when I was in lake district), my initial plan was to wait till I return to Singapore and get a new one back home, where there are people around who know so much more about this stuff, since I’m quite rubbish at electronic products anyway. But just a few days ago, I received an email from Amazon about their summer sales, and saw that they were selling brand new pink Canon Digital Ixus 95 at £99, which seems like a really good deal! So I began clicking around to find out more about this camera model, and read many good reviews about it. The reviews always sound so persuasive and convincing! There are flaws, of course, but I don’t even need super wide angles or super high resolution (in fact 7.2 megapixels was already more than enough for me), so I didn’t bother looking for newer, better models. Then I realized that it also comes in blue, and it’s a shade of blue which I fell in love with instantly! Too bad the Amazon sale was only for the pink one. Further sourcing led me to find out about refurbished cameras, which I was initially quite scared of buying – simply because it was so much cheaper – but ended up setting my mind on it anyway – also simply because it was so much cheaper! After I read a review about the things to look out for in buying refurbished products, I decided to just give it a go, or there’s no way I’ll find out whether these refurbished products are really as good as new! And indeed, it’s in mint condition! The colour is just as I imagined as well! It’s also really tiny and nice to carry around. I’m so happy that I now have a decent camera to snap photos of things here and at my Japanese teacher’s wedding as well!

This is my very first test shot! I was at my desk at work. These are protocols for RNA and protein isolation, first-strand cDNA kits and real-time PCR arrays which I follow, and a nice lab diary for the results.

With a new camera, it’s also time to say good bye. Bye bye my pink Casio. You have been most faithful and reliable the past 3 years, and we have shared so many good times together. You were given to me by my sisters as a farewell present before I left for the UK, and that itself is more than enough reason to make me sad when I realized that you are beyond repair. You have been so hardy in spite of all that abuse that I subjected you to; you survived the snow in Tignes, you were fine even after falling so many times in so many different places because of my butter fingers, and you even managed to come back with a flicker of life (upon some coaxing) after landing on that concrete floor in Vienna. If I were you, I would have died a long time ago in the hands of such an owner. Thank you for seeing me through these years in foreign lands, and for all the moments in time that you have made forever. This time, you must have drunk too much water. I hope you are resting well. If you ever wake up from your concussion one day, don’t be jealous of blue Canon. You will always be special, because you’re the first camera I ever had.

I emailed my family to tell them that I bought a new camera, and this was my father’s reply:

好好照顾相机，不好让他口渴，ok

HAHAHAHAHA. I burst out laughing when I saw the email. My papa is too cute.

Another random happy thing: I bought a T-shirt at Sainsbury’s for 10p today!!! It’s officially the cheapest T-shirt I have! I think they sold these during the World Cup season, which has left no traces in this country by this time.. 1966 was the first time England won the World Cup. But this year, they were really really miles away from relieving that glory..

The place where wishes come true

We cry when something is sad. Then we often shed a tear when something's beautiful as well. When something is funny or ugly, we laugh. Perhaps we are sad when something is beautiful because we know that it won't last for ever.
- Jostein Gaardner, Through a Glass, Darkly

Clannad and its After Story form the best anime that I’ve ever watched in my life. Really, it is this amazing. The last time I cried so much while watching a show was probably during One Litre of Tears, which was so heartwrenching and touching that every episode was literally a tearjerker. I don’t know how these cartoon characters in Clannad made me cry so much and so hard that my eyes hurt. Be it happy moments, sad moments, or bittersweet moments, some scenes are just.. too exquisitely beautiful. At times, a mere song was all it took for the tears to fall. One day, maybe ten years later, I may find myself rewatching this entire series and looking back on these younger days with nostalgia. As much as my feelings towards the characters and perceptions of the story may change with time, I know that there will always be the same timeless parts, where I’ll laugh and cry my heart out all over again, no matter how many ten years later.

Day before yesterday I saw a rabbit, and yesterday a deer, and today, you.

My after-lab and before-sleep hours are spent on drama marathons, because there really isn't much alternative entertainment in this town. It's been a while since I can watch dramas with no abandon, and it feels so good to be able to finish watching what I have long been wanting to watch!

I finished watching black&white aka pi zi ying xiong on Sunday! This action drama practically doubled my average heart rate and gave me so many nonsensical nightmares. The show centres around these two officers who are polar opposites in character -and hence black and white-, working together to make sense of the heinous crimes that plague their country. It's not a typical Taiwanese ou xiang ju (though it is abound with many shuai ges, like my favourite xiao ma!!!), and in many ways similar to Mars, this show has emerged to be so much better than the stereotype. The plot is absolutely insane, but it is just so compelling. I don't usually appreciate action movies and thrillers as much because they almost always focus too much on creating all that rush and excitement via plots full of twists and turns, without much room for character development. So to me, they seldom leave strong impressions and are easily forgotten. Maybe because black&white is a drama instead of a movie, there is so much more time to mould the characters into shape, and sometimes I feel so attached to some of the characters that I almost feel as if we were fighting on the same front against the same enemy together. I also like how the recurring theme of black vs white penetrates all elements of the show; not just in terms of characters, but also the plot, and the many juxtapositions and contradictions about how clear-cut life is (or is not).

When the drama ended, it left me feeling so empty, and to quench all withdrawal symptoms, I continued watching Clannad, an anime that is so beautiful and touching, and simply hilarious at times. I'm almost reaching the end of Season 1, and I really like it so much. Many video comments say that the After Story, which is the sequel to this, is even better, and one just has to keep watching. I really love the dango daikazoku song that is the epitome of the pure sweetness of this anime. It always reminds me of my family and it is impossible not to smile whenever it starts playing. It is so cute and happy and full of hope and love!

なかよしだんご 手をつなぎ 大きなまるい轮になるよ
町をつくり だんご星の上 みんなで笑いあうよ
うさぎもそらで手をふってみてる でっかいおつきさま
うれしいこと 悲しいことも 全部まるめて <3

My favourite episode thus far is #14, because it touched me so deeply, and I will never forget the meaning behind this message.

And this scene; of family and friendship, the garden of memories, and the origins of this world.

You must not deny your eyes the beauty of this world.

This world is composed of countless harps that cannot be seen by the naked eyes.

The world is filled with harps,and each one plays a different tune.

All those tunes intertwine with each other and a unique melody is born.

That's why the world is so beautiful.

- Kotomi's father, Clannad #13 (Allusion to the String Theory?)

Wassup yo says 'that rocked!'

I just discovered the new blogger template designer and was fiddling around and trying out the different pretty backgrounds that they have! I have this penchant for customizing interfaces, like my Firefox, Hotmail, Gmail, and even my Windows cursor - which takes the notorious form of a peeling banana. Personalizing stuff with my favourite designs and icons just makes me very happy! Just a while ago, I was quite torn between this pinky background and the following:

The clouds are so cute and cheerful! They also fit in with the entire cloudy theme. I don't know why I decided to choose the pink one in the end either. Maybe it was because I was drawn by how the shades of pink complemented the blue and green tones in the top banner perfectly, and it was the first background that I really liked. Nevertheless, right after I've saved the changes to the template, I began to recall what my original layout looked like, and I wanted to compare and see if this one is indeed nicer. But I didn't have it saved, and it seems that the change is irreversible. Now this looks a little strange and I already miss my original template. I'm such a creature of habit.

It's been about  two weeks since I've started my studentship at a lab in MRC Harwell, which is this place in Oxfordshire. I finally got to witness for myself some of the technologies and advancements that I've always only read or heard about in textbooks, papers and in lectures, and it is just fascinating. It is like knowledge comes alive and there you are, staring it in the eye. I always get impressed - perhaps too easily - by the ingenuity behind the many discoveries, inventions and theories that have propelled science and technology to today's standpoint. It is inspiring how so many tasks that were once deemed impossible have been proven to be possible. Will the cure for cancer be found one day? Will the secrets underlying the intricacies of the human brain be unraveled, and will we eventually be able to reconstruct it artificially? More 'absurdly', will time travel happen, just as Stephen Hawking predicts? I'm so curious for all the answers. The funny thing is, if I were born in an era where time travel is possible, I'll probably be wondering if teleportation will be rendered possible one day. There will never be an end to these questions, and the issues that we contemplate now will always be dictated by our passage in time. As we get empowered by the idea that nothing is impossible, we expect more and more, and it seems almost too easy to take the advancements of mankind for granted, too easy to brush everything aside matter-of-factly, as a mere natural progression. But if we just stop to think about that man who landed on the moon despite it being such an incredulous idea at that time, or that airplane that took its flight just like a bird after such painstaking effort was invested into it, it is clearly sublime that these are all miracles that have taken place to transform today's reality. I don't quite know what I'm trying to get at, my thoughts are in a mess. But maybe it's that in this never-ending quest for progress that humans have embarked on, it is worthwhile to stop and take a rest, to live for the moment's splendour and to appreciate the current context, instead of solely getting caught up with all the promise that the future appears to hold, for it can blind us to where we're headed, and then everything would lose its meaning.

I've intended to write a bit about my experience at Harwell and about Oxfordshire, and look how I've digressed so terribly. I actually started another entry a few days ago about my sister's wedding, but I started watching black&white, got addicted and just forgot about the blog entry. I'm going to watch the show now! It's super intense and exciting!

Five hundred million tiny bells

"It is such a secret place, the land of tears."

Life after exams

April came and went like it was never here before. It was like I hibernated for a month and woke up at the end to realize that everything was over. Those were the last undergraduate exams in my entire life! But the sense of liberation didn't hit immediately; perhaps it was overshadowed by the mess I had made of the last paper. It took a while for the feeling of freedom to sink in, and when it did, sleeping was my best form of celebration! These two weeks have been spent with good friends, good food, good dramas, good music, and good sleep - everything is so good that I keep forgetting that I have so much to do for my final year project..

Last Monday was bank holiday and a couple of us went to the zoo! It felt like a primary school excursion, but it was really fun! The zoo is located in Regent's Park so we walked through nice flowery garden paths on our way there and back. The weather was really weird that day though. There was one point when it kept raining for  a few seconds before stopping then starting again. But for most of the time when we were there, the skies were clear and of a brilliant blue. There weren't really many animals in the zoo, and we were quite amused to see that they actually exhibit cockroaches in the zoo over here.. But the sight of my favourite monkeys made up for everything! There were so many different kinds of monkeys over there too. It was so  cute to see one monkey picking fleas off another. My other favourite was the giraffe! There I learnt  from vivien that the giraffe's tongue is actually blue in colour, and we confirmed it when we watched the giraffe stick its tongue out at us. And we actually saw one giraffe kissing a zookeeper! It was so sweet! 

I finally finished watching kimi ni todoke! It's a happy sweet lovey anime with beautiful graphics and a wonderful soundtrack. I wish the last episode were a bit better though. It didn't seem to end with a sense of finality. I really hope they make a second season! Otherwise I think I might just go and read the manga, which everyone else online says is better than the anime..

《情深深雨濛濛》! I finished this ancient drama series on Sunday. Started watching it during the exam period when I got reminded of it in a random conversation with leefeng. This show brings back so many memories!  I remember being so crazy over it when I was in secondary school. Sec 1 I think. It was on Channel 8 every Sunday at 7pm, and I just had to catch every single episode because I was so obsessed with Shu Huan! I really really liked him a lot then, and I would watch the show even if I had a test the next day that I hadn't studied for. I would just hold my notes and hope that everything would be okay while I continue watching happily like a total addict. This time I watched it, I got so addicted all over again.  It  really took me a lot to stop watching it just a week before the exams started. Now that I have finished the entire series (46 episodes!), I can't help but be amazed by what a genius Qiong Yao is. I still feel so touched by the show even after nearly 10 years. At times there are so many predictable and cliched moments and incidents, but I like the way she portrays relationships, especially family love. I particularly like how she features the father's struggles and inner conflicts, how his daughters grow to love him so much, and his relationship with his beloved wife wen pei too. I also realized that I must have changed quite a lot in this 10 years, because I no longer like Shu Huan that much anymore! Which is so weird! I appreciate Du Fei so much more than Shu Huan now, when I don't even remember laughing so much at his antics last time. He is such a happy and contented guy, and his lines are really the sweetest and most touching of all. It's funny how a drama can make me go on such a self-discovery trip. Not to forget, Qiong Yao's classic lines can be so extremely cheesy they make me shudder yet laugh, for instance, this was what a guy said to his girlfriend before giving her a present:

"我把我的爱心，送给我的知心
但愿我的有心，能够让你开心
原谅我的无心，和我永结同心"

Hahaha, I wonder if I scorned at these lines when I was in Sec 1!

Caught Owl City's live concert online on Sunday and rediscovered their songs! I like how their songs have this air of innocence and imagination to them. He is so good with the synthesizer that he can freely create imageries of fireflies, fuzzy blue lights and beautiful vanilla twilights; simply electronica at its best. Even the titles sound so dreamy. I particularly like hot air balloon and have been listening to it over and over again. It's such a happy and carefree song! I'll be out of my mind, you'll be out of ideas pretty soon, so let's spend the afternoon in a cold hot air balloon..

一念之差

I'm feeling exactly the same way I did when I failed my second driving test for not sticking to the left lane of the roundabout. For some inexplicable reason, I just have to make the wrong decisions - especially when I have every reason not to. There was this feeling lurking inside me that there was a better option right there. But I just had to choose to ignore it. I always go wrong at the simplest binary steps. I feel so angry at myself; more so when I can't find any reasons to explain why I made such a blatant error. So utterly disappointed too, because this is my favourite subject and I really enjoyed studying it.

But tomorrow is the last paper! The end is in sight, and I have got to do what I can to salvage this mess I've made and make sure tomorrow ends on a good note! I can already hear papa mama's voices ringing in my head: 越战越勇! Looking forward to drama/movie marathons and loads of good food!

Everyone 加油!!!

Where butterflies flutter by

Just stop for this moment. Let your mind drift off with those clouds. Ride on one of these marshmallows and roam over the boundless pastel blue skies. Once in a while you take a bite of it and it tastes like cotton candy. With a little strawberry tinge. Bite some more and there you have it, the shape of a heart suspended in mid air. Hungry no more, you look up and notice all the shimmering stars twinkling happily all around you. You reach out to touch just one of them and it feels like magic. You can even feel fairy dust sprinkled all over you. It puzzles you why you've never noticed them before, when they have been there all along. But it doesn't matter anymore. Now you have the key to this secret sanctuary, it's just right there in your mind's eye.

Yatta!

I took a long, long journey to get here. So long that this feels a little surreal, a little dreamy, even a little miraculous. Maybe not just a little - considering how I've been failing time after time, forever and ever. At times it almost seemed like my stubbornness was merely fueling this vicious cycle that was leading me nowhere. The uncanny circumstances that unfolded yesterday evening just crippled all my hopes of passing. But. I did it.  I have finally done it! I can't find the right words to convey my happiness, relief and gratitude. Every single time I fail, my mind tortures itself with all the "should-have-been"s and "could-have-been"s over and over again. "I should have stuck to the left-hand lane. I should have stepped on the accelerator more. I could have passed. Today could have been such a happy day.." And now that Today has materialized, I just feel incredibly moved. Because efforts do pay off, because all that hard work, time and money had not gone in vain, because I couldn't have done this on my own, and because I refused to give up. Thank you everyone, especially my family, my instructor, my housemates, and all who've supported me during this long, long journey. Also, special mention to the god(s?) above.

刚才打电话给爸爸跟他分享我的喜悦。能听到他的声音，真的好高兴，好安慰。不知不觉，说完好消息后，就觉得喉咙有块石头似的，说不出话来了。对于爸爸的嘘寒问暖，我却一个字也说不出口。接着连眼睛也开始模糊了，有种说不出的感动。好感动。

哥哥说你猜猜今天为什么下雨。。

原来 MIKAI 把晴天娃娃吃了！

"Miserable weather is likely to mar the Easter weekend, despite the passing of snow storms which have hit UK areas."

This must be the coldest and wettest spring ever. It's been freezing cold these few days and the sun has just mysteriously disappeared and hidden itself behind a curtain of gloomy clouds. The winds keep on blowing at full-blast, and I wish they can just blow the rain-clouds away. And snow storms in Scotland in this season? It almost feels wrong to be in the daylight saving time zone now. Maybe this is heaven's attempt at an April Fools' joke.

It's not funny, though. But it feels quite cool (in every sense of the word) that my room windows have got this misty appearance, whether from the traces of rain drops, or from vapour condensation. It feels so much like winter is here. 真的好有寒窗苦读的感觉啊!

Run And Never Dream Of Me

Did you know Baa Baa Black Sheep and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star share the same tune?

I think it would be absolutely amazing if Jimmy Liao could work with Hayao Miyazaki and Joe Hisaishi to make an anime movie. Hayao Miyazaki can decide and direct the storyline, while Jimmy can express all of that in his drawings. It will have the enchanting magical elements of Howl's Moving Castle and Spirited Away, a tinge of sweet melancholy amidst wistful innocence from Jimmy's drawings, and it will be backed up by a touching and captivating soundtrack. Maybe it should also have a theme song with lyrics, then Sun Yan Zi can sing. I imagine it will be perfect.

I think it is incredible how much we can learn from fruit flies, worms, zebrafish, mice, frogs - model organisms and the like. They have given us so much to unravel the mysteries that underlie our existence, at the expense of their lives, over which they never did get to have a say. How a single fertilized egg gives rise to a multicellular organism that can spread its wings and fly; it is a miracle, a truly beautiful story. (Though I would have enjoyed it much more if I didn't need to commit this entire story to my memory - down to the very particulate molecular details.)

In one of my half-asleep, half-mugging moments, it occurred to me that I just couldn't imagine how some people can fall asleep with their eyes open. I went to google it, and found someone who asked a funny question: "what if someone tore of ur eyelids or held them so that u could not blink....would u die becuz of no sleep or the horrible pain of not being able to blink?" Hahaha, it's such a good question! I don't even dare to imagine how painful it must feel, if someone tore off my eyelids.. I tried to "sleep" with my eyes open and detach my mind from consciousness, but it's just too hard. I guess it really has something to do with one's eye muscles. But I just wonder if these people suffer from insomnia more frequently?

What is it about facebook games that renders them so addictive? Pet Society, Restaurant City, Country Story.. And I even started playing Social City. The thing is, they are so pointless and every single one of them is so time-consuming. I've stopped playing all of them except Country Story for now, and I still don't know where I am headed with that game. It just gives you this odd sense of accomplishment after you've brushed all your animals, collected all the fruits from the trees, harvested all your vegetables, sown new seeds and watered all plants. It's not even that I'm looking to these games as a distraction from exams. I've been playing them for a long while now, and It's been at least a year. Maybe I just like indulging in the fact that I don't need to do anything for a good reason. There need not be a point to this.

Paint your palette blue and grey

"那时候，未来遥远而没有形状，梦想还不知道该叫什么名字。

我常常一个人，走很长的路，在起风的时候觉得自己像一片落叶。仰望星空，我想知道：有人正从世界的某个地方朝我走来吗？像光那样，从一颗星到达另外一颗 星。

后来，你出现了，又离开了。我们等候着青春，却错过了彼此……"

ぜったい がんばります!

Today's the last day of school for the spring term! Last night I stayed up till 5am to churn out 1000 words for a review article that was due at 2pm today. It was such a euphoric moment when I submitted the electronic version of my work at 4.48am! What a display of utter dedication. It's my last piece of coursework for the entire year! I felt more than a sense of cathartic relief when it was all done and dusted. A little sad too, maybe, because everything has gone by in a whirl and is now coming to an end.

Anyway, the super happy free-from-coursework me dropped by Sainsbury's today and found out that my favourite totellini is on sale! Half-priced! So I grabbed 6 packets off the shelf without even thinking twice about it, and gladly stocked up for the exam season - which has officially started today! The sheer enormity of the amount of stuff that I have to plough through for the next 4 weeks is nothing less than intimidating, and it doesn't help that I am the kind who leaves stuff to the last minute. It annoys me so much that I always end up rushing work at the eleventh hour, especially at the expense of my sleeping hours, but every single time I land myself in such a state, it just always seems so inevitable. It's like I just can't escape from this vicious cycle. Now that I've got 4 weeks left to attempt to make amendments, I will really put in my very best effort. After all, not trying my best will only leave room for regrets!

EVERYBODY SAYS JIA YOU!!!!! CHIONG AHHHAAHAHAHAHA BUT DONT FORGET TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF !! Must rmb to take proper meals. By Hao!
It is so comforting to know that my family is always behind me, no matter how stupid or lazy I am. I can't let them down, and I will make sure I take proper meals - starting with tortellini for today!

River flows in you

変わらないもの

Science Valentine

A thousand hugs from ten thousand lightning bugs

 

 
 就在那一瞬间

亿万颗亮闪闪的星星

如暴雨般迅速落下
天地一片昏暗
小披风下的完全说不出话来！

- 几米<<小蝴蝶小披风>>

Because the airplane flies against the wind

Just a few hours ago, I was stoning online and looking for recipes for tonight's dinner. It's my cooking day today, and I had this sudden craving for baked rice. The first recipe that I found looked so good! I knew I had to try it, and started scribbling down the ingredients needed. Then I went to the kitchen to check out what ingredients we already have at home, and returned to my room only to realize that it's already 5.30pm - so late! The baked rice needed at least 1.5 hours! I threw on my coat hurriedly, searched for my house keys, hooked on my earphones, and left the house in a flurry.

Down that 4 floors worth of stairs and out into the cold, I started heading towards Sainsbury's, which was just a couple of minutes away. I felt so cold inside, so I wore my good old hood and hid half of my head and face from the bustling world outside. "Stand by me" burst into my eardrums, and as I stole a glance at the huge traffic jam along Cromwell Road, I couldn't help but feel my heart ache. Just then, I randomly thought of checking for my wallet, and it struck me that I forgot to bring money out! Oh my. That eerily familiar feeling of disbelief sank in. I started feeling all my pockets for my debit card. But no. Not in my coat. Not in my hoodie. Not in my trouser pockets!

I couldn't believe I had forgotten to bring my debit card out, especially when I remembered that the thought to bring money along did cross my mind, albeit too briefly. Today the voice in my head didn't automatically go 'Never mind, just quickly go back and get it; at least you didn't realize it after happily scanning in all your stuff at the self-checkout counter! So very lucky already..' Instead, I couldn't help but let this little blunder of mine make me feel worse than I already did about myself. I could only turn back home.

Yet somehow, maybe it was that song playing in my ears, or maybe it was all those car horns sounding so impatiently, that led my mind from dwelling on the past back to the present, to the here and now. My fingers toyed with the house keys in my pocket, and I felt so silly about feeling so dull over something so trivial. Things could have been so much worse if I had forgotten to bring my keys along! There wasn't anyone at home and I didn't even have my handphone with me. And it was highly probable that I only find out that I don't have any money on me at the counter. Yes, things could have been so much worse. So as I climbed that 4 floors worth of stairs all over again, this time defying gravity, I felt I gained so much more - apart from gravitational potential energy, that is!

When things don't always go the way you want them to, you can only appreciate that things haven't been much worse. There really isn't much else you can do except to "remember that the airplane flies against the wind. Not with it. (Henry Ford)" I could only turn back home then. I can only do it all over again, no matter how daunting the climb is. Because that streak of stubbornness in me has left me with no alternative, and because I know that I will not forgive myself for leaving things on this note, no matter how tempting it may seem to do so.

On the bright side, life doesn't always throw lemons at you! The chicken and mushroom baked rice turned out yummy! I added potatoes to the bottom too. All my favourite things in one dish.. Food really makes my day. And actually.. So does sleep! I'm off!

もういちど おねがいします！

There are no flukes, there is no luck. 

There's just talent, and hard work, and the ability to bounce back when you're knocked down. 

No more. No less.

- Nico in Lipstick Jungle

Welcome!

This new layout is the culmination of ultimate boredom and the inability to fathom all the complex signal transduction pathways that take place even before a fruit fly is born. Fruit flies have never intrigued me so much before!

Anyway, I'm so happy that I managed to keep my good old mushroom intact in spite of the revamp. It feels like just yesterday when huiwen and ying created this for me in a moment of spontaneity. It's amazing how this yesterday happened over 4 years ago, when it doesn't feel all that far away.

I haven't been able to stop listening to this song after I stumbled upon it yesterday. It makes me picture white fluffy clouds drifting against an azure blue sky, and lovely lallang grasses swaying in the winds - like that you see above. I love how Joe Hisaishi plays the piano with such sweet grace and gentleness that you can feel all that emotion behind the motion of his fingers. This song really encompasses all the happiness in the world.



If I ever get to watch Joe Hisaishi's concert live, I think I'll start crying even before he starts playing. His compositions are too heart-wrenchingly beautiful.

a pact between exceptionally strong lines and exceptionally delicate lines

cool test from ying :) password: character

If you are always forthright and one of the things you are always forthright about is how many subtle and gentle ways there are to your forthrightness, then Bifur is your type