I really want to write something, but there are too many things in my head now.

Phone.

First phone after 3 years.

Last phone as a student.

Last year in school.

Reality.

I kept wondering about this thing today - People always say that as long as you have tried your best, it is alright that you did not achieve your target. But if after trying my best and I still dont meet the target, does that mean I have to admit that I am simply not competent enough?

AC was tiring today, and it was a rather good experience for me. I knew that in a way I was capable of reacting in impromptu situations, but I never did expect that I was able to do it without much hesitation. The last segment was quite a disappointment, but I guess all I can say now is that I have tried my best.

Watched Real Steel tonight, quite a decent show with a decent boy. Maybe I was anticipating the touching moment too much that I failed to be touched in the movie.

I deliberately drove past chinese high today, and it was quite disappointing that I could no longer see the clock tower from the main road. All I could see was the construction going on, hope things will be better after the project is completed.

The only constant is change itself.

A sense of dejavu.

Long week end ahead. A well-deserved break before I start working hard again.

Let me.

Let me survive the 3 quizzes.

Let me survive the interview.

Let me be free next wednesday.

Let me start exercising soon.

Damn I just remembered I have incomplete applications.

Good Bye.

Life is fragile. Cherish.

Randoms.

First proper interview next week. I hope everything will turn out well and nothing will screw up.

2nd day of recess week. 3 quizzes after recess week. I need to buck up. Job applications are so tiring.

I need to go travel again.

Time to save up.

感叹.

Been staring at reports and excel sheets these 2 weeks. I am so glad that this will be over next Tuesday, but I dread doing FYP since there will be even more reports and data to read.

I am beginning to realise what they mean by 人言可畏. Till now I still cant believe that news actually spread to China. Somehow I am ok if people who talked about it are those who showed concern for me in normal situations. But for people whom I only say "hi and bye" and at most 寒暄几句 at times, I dont see why things should be talked about or even spread. It's not as if it's some global news headline that's worth a discussion. Sometimes I feel upset that relationships sour, but time and time again things just prove to me that maybe it's just not worth the time. And I still thought that it's a simple case of 人不犯我，我不犯人. Oh well I guess it's just a matter of 若要人不知，除非己莫为. The same applies to you as well.

Life's been rather mundane these few weeks, and I am starting to think about grad trip. India sounds like an exciting destination, but I really cant imagine myself eating curry for weeks.

Just another song.

Got some unpleasant news last week, but couldnt be bothered to blog immediately.

A nice song here =)




Love the music.

2nd week of school.

Quick updates before I go to bed.

1. NBS is acting as if they havent received my emails yet about subject registration. I still need 1 more business subject if not I can kiss my graduation good bye. I find it absurd that I actually have to make a phone call to the people in the glass room (and I can actually see them) so that they can come out to see me if they have the time. Thing is they dont ever pick up the phone. Wish I could just walk in, maybe I will do it this Wednesday.

2. Feels weird to be suddenly offered a hall again back in hall 14, especially when I have already decided not to stay in hall already. Blessing in disguise?

3. Went to school this morning to move my things into the room, only to discover that my room mate has the exact same pair of yellow crocs slippers that I have. Good taste? Now I only know that I can never wear that pair of slippers again to school.

4. Have always thought that the bed I was supposed to have wasnt supposed to face the door, hence when I moved in today the first thought I had was "I need to shift my room mate's things to the other bed". And so I did, only to discover again in the afternoon that I was the one who got the arrangements wrong. Had to shift everything back again, and now I am stuck with the bed facing the door.

5. Heard that there's a particular position to sleep when the bed faces the door, due to feng shui/ superstitious reasons, and I am still not sure which one is it. Good thing about taking the other side of the room is that at least my wireless signal is stronger, or so I think it is.

6. My room mate is called Albert. I dont know his full name, surname etc, all I know he is registered under NTU as Albert. Didnt know that NTU allows students to register just an English name and nothing else.

7. I am heading to Penang this weekend!

2 days.

Been going back to my workplace these 2 days. Yesterday I went back to have lunch with some of my colleagues (ex), went back to the office and ended up spending 3 hours there chatting with the people there. Today I went back to attend a bloomberg course but the rain was so heavy that we decided to skip the course after our lunch. And I ended up back in the office again to chat.

I have been told that I should just extend my internship and work for one last week.

And my mom got worried that there was a 姐姐 in the office whom I was interested in and I might end up in a 姐弟恋 cos I kept going back even though I have ended my internship. Quite interesting how she got that deduction and had such worries.

Starting school next Wednesday, and I am still not allocated 2 of my business subjects.

Update.

I havent updated this in a long while, and I dont know where should I start from.

Last Friday was the last day of my internship this summer. It has been a wonderful experience for me. Got to know more people, learnt more about the banking sector, and be exposed to more relevant knowledge. Now the difficult part is to secure a similar job when I graduate. Hopefully I have done well enough for people to want me back again. Either way I think I have gained much over this 2 months.

School is starting in 2 weeks time and I cant really wait for it to start. The only problem I have now is the daily commuting to school.

I have been trying to get some things done, but every time when I get my hands on them I start to procrastinate. What's new right?

Monday blues? Nahh.

Pretty good Monday today, for work at least. Had team lunch with the global head economist as it was his last day in office, and we went to this Indian buffet restaurant near Central. It's my first time having Indian cuisine for a meal, and it turned out to exceed my expectations. What was special about the place was there wasnt a specific price that customers must pay for the meal, but it was up to the customers to decide how much they want to pay. So technically people could be paying $0.10 or $100 for the meal they had. And I guess very often people will end up paying more than what was supposedly-required, perhaps out of a sense of guilt.

Went for an insurance talk in the afternoon, and received a portable iphone charger and a notepad. It's really amazing how much companies spend on marketing, and on things like company welfare and stuff. Was reading about how much AIG spent on staff welfare and such, and I start wondering how grossly-paid people are in this world. Yet at the same time I wish to be like them.

Irony.

A night out.

Bak kut teh, cheesecake and cider last night. I think the cider was good, made me fall asleep pretty fast. I think I am just not made to drink alcohol. At least I thought about nothing and fell asleep immediately.


But the dreams I had didnt help. The things about you just kept coming back.

Is it too late?

A Lazy Day.

Looking forward to this show. Seems like another Ip Man kinda film.


到底应该随缘，还是努力争取。

How?

I conclude that I am not a person capable of engaging in small talks, though I am afraid of silence between people. I dont like it when the group is quiet, yet I can never sustain small talks with people, and very often the conversation will end up with awkward looks. I guess that's a skill that I will have to pick up before I start working for real.

Corporate world, corporate treatments.

I think I am still procrastinating, and I dont know how to approach things.

Starting on my exercise regime. I hope I can last through.

It's back to work tomorrow.

Song.

真想和你聊一聊天
很想看看你温柔的容颜
多想听你说自己并没有变

很想看我们从前的照片
多想和你再接近一点
你现在的心 是在靠在谁的身边

是你变了吗 我的影子笑我的人好傻
是你变了吗 我已经跟不上你的步伐
是你变了吗 对你的感觉应该停止吧
已经不明白你的想法
已经不再看见 你眼中的牵挂

真想和你聊一聊天
很想看看你温柔的容颜
努力说服自己你没有变

很想看我们从前的照片
多想和你再接近一点
你现在的他 是否真已从心所愿

是你变了吗 我的影子笑我的人好傻
是你变了吗 我已经跟不上你的步伐
是你变了吗 对你的感觉应该停止吧
已经不明白你的想法
已经不再看见 你眼中的牵挂

I keep thinking about this song.

Transformers.

It's like a dream.

You dream about it every other day, but when the time comes, you dont wish to face it. For fear of the little dream to be dashed.

A dilemma.


Transformers was pretty average, but good enough to satisfy all Transformers fans.

Too bad I prefer Ip Man to Transformers. Guess I am just too cheena.

I think I am stuck. There are a lot of things that I want to write out, but I end up deleting them.

Stuck in this little inner world of mine.

Am trying to keep fit again, started off by going for a swim today. I hope I can get this going.

无止尽找寻..

ICT

2 weeks of ICT gone in a flash. Ok maybe not so fast but things always appear to be fast when you see them retrospectively. Somehow I feel that this was the best reservist I have had, mainly because I managed to talk more to some people whom I hadnt talked to so much in the past. It hasnt been a very fulfilling 2 weeks (and I think I have gained more weight as compared to outside), but it has been a good break for me, away from work and away from my life outside. It was good to have Kuishinbo with the guys on the last night of ICT, eating all the snow crabs and sashimis.

It was interesting how conversations between us change over different periods of our lives. I still remember when we were 19 the conversation topics were mainly about Alevels results, future course of studies etc. This time most people talked about BTOs, relationships, work etc. Made me think about a lot of things and reflect about my life.

There's a nagging feeling in me now, but I dont know how to put it in words.

Reservist.

Off to reservist tomorrow night. Going for Bloomberg beginners before that so I can book in later at night at 7pm.

Live firing that doesnt involve me. Wonder if I will be doing BOS every day -_-

Till then.

- blank -

I was at PC show the other day (oh yes I went to the PC show twice this time) and there were these 2 guys who left a very deep impression on me. I was walking from behind them and there was a lady on a remote-controlled wheelchair who was heading towards us. When the lady passed us one of the guys turned and told the other guy "ask her where did she get that, i will buy from her" and then both started laughing.

Very crude, very senseless. And you wonder if they were ever educated before at all.

Work has been pleasant so far, and I discovered little things that I didnt expect to see. Anyway I am glad that I am still interacting well with my colleagues now.

Reservist next week, the longest thus far. After that it's another 1 month of internship and school will start. Seems like holidays this year pass by faster than usual.

Work - Act 7

The one thing you cannot say when you boss ask you "How's your first week at work?" is:
"It's fine but I havent had much to do yet."

Absolutely no no to say that. Today was totally different from the previous days. I hate staring at the computer for the whole day.

One George Street has a gym and there's an outdoor swimming pool overlooking the CBD. Nice view and a good chill-out place after work.

My whole department is going to Zurich next week for a meeting. I think I need to fulfill my dream of going to Switzerland by working in a Swiss bank next time. Yea dream.

Reservist in 2 weeks time. I am so not looking forward to the 3 weeks in camp.

Work - Act 6

There was team lunch today. It was only after lunch that I know that the lunch was meant to welcome newcomers (aka me). Anyway we went to this really posh Japanese and Italian fusion restaurant at boat quay. Excellent and expensive food, 2 courses for about $40++. And we had blue cheese pizza with honey and walnut. Pity I couldnt take pictures of the food, cos I thought I was sua ku enough already when I kept exclaiming that the restaurant is very posh.

And it was the bank that paid for the meal. Apparently all departments have this grant for treating newcomers and have team lunches.

Indeed it's good working in banks. And still this isnt the best bank around.

Work - Act 5

I conclude that the maximum I can drink is 2-2.5 pints of beer. I vomited 3 times last night after the drinking session with the colleagues and I think it was the first time I felt giddy after drinking and totally felt that I was going to lose it.

Yea I know I cant drink, but didnt know I was that bad. lol.

Apparently this is going to be a weekly kind of thing, so I should either train up my drinking or find some excuses not to join them every week.

Having a flu now, hope I will get better soon.

Work - Act Three.

Now I am finally near the optimum timing to leave home, so that I wont have to reach workplace too early or reach there too late.

Train ride got quite irritating today. I was standing in the train with this 30+ year old guy behind meplaying street fighter on his iphone, and his arms keep bua-ing my back as his fingers move frantically on his phone. And then there was this Korean couple hugging each other among the crowd. Morning train rides can be quite interesting, and it's the first time that I actually sweat in a MRT.

I am finally seeing some positives in my work. Met some interns today and my colleague was nice enough to bring me around and introduce to the rest of the people in the office. Too bad my memory space is limited and I cant remember all of their names.

Drinking session on Friday. They seem determined to get me drunk.

Work - Act Two.

Today was slightly more meaningful, at least I had more things to read and I was briefed on what to expect for my stint at the bank. I kept seeing HNWI today - High Net Worth Individuals. I guess there's really a certain amount of truth in "钱不是万能，但是没钱就是万万不能". The clients belong to a different world that I cant picture myself ever stepping into the world, not at this moment at least. It's amazing how people can spend like 1 million on insurance plans, set up trusts for their children etc. Private banking is like commercial banking to a whole new level. I guess every day is a new day for me to learn new things.

Still, I am not used to going to work every day. Today I reached the workplace 45 minutes early. I shall try leaving house later tomorrow.

Cant wait for weekend to come.

Work - Act One.

I wrote about my feelings on working in Shenton Way for the first day, but decided to remove the whole chunk cos it's after all my first day of work, and I should probably give myself a few more days to get used to things.

Work today has been all about reading up on the products the bank offers. Now I know when they say "high net worth individuals" we are talking about people with really a lot of money.

Tomorrow I will be briefed about a project that I will be helping out with. Hopefully it will be more eventful than today.

Dinner.

Had dinner with the hall people today, to sort of meet up with those who are graduating this semester. Turned out that there were only 2 graduates who turned up for the dinner, the rest were either overseas or couldnt make it. But it's still good to meet up again after a semester.

Who knows when will we be able to meet again, but it has certainly been a wonderful 3 years so far.

To all who were part of my life over these 3 years, thank you.

没我的日子你别来无恙。

Went to the zoo with Cindy today. Not too bad, just very tiring cos we walked the whole day and caught all the shows there. Good thing was she had free entry passes, so I went there on free tickets. The place changed quite a bit since the last time I went there (about 4 years ago I think). For example there's now the Ah Meng Memorial to commemorate the death of Ah Meng, and the kid's place was revamped as well, with new performances like the dog shows etc. Too bad the place where we could handle the rabbits was no longer there. Maybe the rabbits got mishandled too many times by the kids.

Brings back memories that place.

I am almost 3/4 done with Norwegian Wood. Makes me wonder if I should be spending money on books. Next up I think I shall read Hard Truths.

Amazing song. A true reflection?

Holidays.

Came back from Redang yesterday night after a 10-hour bus ride starting from 9.30am. The trip could be considered a success, given that there were no accidents and no noticeable displeasure among the participants. The trip was more of work than enjoyment, but I guess there was nothing much for me to do there as well since I have been there just 1 year ago. Too bad I still didnt see the sea turtles, though we managed to see the eel and the "glowing" sand, which was essentially plankton.

Starting work on Monday, finally. I hope it will be a pleasant experience, either way I am sure I will learn something in the process. Reservist is from 23rd June to 3rd July, after which I will continue work again till school starts. This is perhaps the most productive holiday among the 3 years in university.

Bought "Norwegian Wood" today went I went Parkway to get my dinner. It's good to be reading again.

Picture of the Year.

Courtesy from: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2011/05/pictures/110517-best-space-contest-science-astronomy-stars-auroras-night-sky/?source=link_fb20110517bestnightskyphotos

My favourite picture. Was at that place but never got to see the lights. Too bad, now I can only appreciate the pictures that others took.

I wish I could take some time off and go travel again.

Wishes.