daph doll;

.Friday, January 28, 2011 ' Friday, January 28, 2011 Y

to many who know or dont know by now. i dislike 29 January. i disliked it since i was 10. detested it more after my 21st. i dont celebrate it and try hard to forget it, somehow hoping after 28th would be 30th.

this year, somehow, i am gonna try allowing myself to embrace this day. i am gonna try to allow others to spend it with me. i will try to welcome the warmth and sincere wishes and blessings from up above. (no im not preaching nor have i converted myself to a christian)

a 6 day trip to hong kong shutting out from everyone in singapore was a pleasant recharge :) okay, apart from the wonderful chanel tote bag i lugged home - squeals-

i didnt think about anything mind you. i didnt think about my uncertain career, my ambiguous future, my perfect-or-not life nor myself. i spent 6 days eating, shopping and sight seeing (literally). i let myself go. i gave myself a break. a real break since B.C seriously! (roll eyes)

a r/s is truly never about one self. it really involves families n third parties. its painful to have to upkeep impressions. esp when uve more sensitive cells than nonchalant cells...

Labels: A different 29 January

loved

.Thursday, August 26, 2010 ' Thursday, August 26, 2010 Y

on a brighter note, im glad everything has come to an end. well at least to me it has.

im happy at where i am now. he gave me a sense of security none of you has ever given. he made me see things none of you could. i hope it stays this way. dont doubt me when i say im happy because im tired of going through ugly relationships. i looked backwards one night and asked myself what i was doing with the people ive dated. whom mistreated me. whom abused me. whom hurled vulgarities at me. who doesnt know how to cherish me for who i am. who made me cry endlessly for months and even years for. who left me in the lurch when i most needed them. it makes me wonder why daph? why?

perhaps HE has it all planned. for me to be treated like trash and allowing me to see the bad ones in order to cherish the final one. nothing is certain for now, who know in the next minute my bliss might be gone. i will leave it to HIM :)

loved

.Wednesday, August 25, 2010 ' Wednesday, August 25, 2010 Y

as i watch them engage in a bad row, it suddenly hit me. the truth behind my negativity in love, marriage and relationships werent entirely due to my failed (ugly) relationships.

i witnessed, love aint forever. it was just love for a moment and after which comitment forever. is this how love should be? is this how happily ever after should be? i hurt as i watch tears well up in her eyes. as a woman, she kept all her pain to herself she gave half her life away to her partner and have fulfilled her duties. what she got in return was a bucket full of disappointment.

she made me see nothing lasts forever, she made me believe you have have to be independent in order to protect your fragile heart. my faith is shaken. she showed me her happily (n)ever after.

Labels: faltering faith...

loved

.Sunday, May 30, 2010 ' Sunday, May 30, 2010 Y

I caught Sex and The City over the weekend. Needless to say, it was awesome. It set me thinking (as usual) about how it applies to us in our daily routine.

Soul mates. Would u really have a handful that will appear at yr doorstep when u really need someone to be there? These are rare n few to come by. I paused for a moment and looked at my own list if "soul mates". Honestly, I'm not confident. Perhaps that's why an invisible wall has always been surrounding me. Many a time I always block family, friends and boyfriend out when I'm deep in thought or when I'm seriously unhappy. I guess training oneself to face issues on yr own ain't easy but worth trying. I'm lost actually. I'm still searching for that light at the end of this tunnel. Hoping to catch a glimpse of my ambiguous future that has yet to unfold. After all soul mates ain't gonna sleep next to you when your time is up. No doubt I'm thankful for the friends I've made thus far.
A special thank you to those whom has walked me through bad times :)

Sparkle. A good friend caught this movie with her husband and posted on her fb " men will never understand the importance of a sparkles in marriage" I smiled as I read that comment. We all probably hold a story to that comment about your better halves. I was just thinking if a r/s really needs time and space apart to "refresh" your mundane r/s. Maybe. As mentioned in my previous entry, we're too engaged in our lil fights arguments n work to take 2 second to reminisce what it felt like on your first date or your first few moments tgt. but how possible is that? shrugs.

With so much uncertainty and insecurity about my future and my life. I told myself i better take things in my stirde, take a deep breadth and move forward till I catch a sign to revive myself (another trip perhaps :))

I'm just gonna say good night and go

Labels: Spark-ling a relationship

loved

.Friday, May 28, 2010 ' Friday, May 28, 2010 Y

i heard this somewhere, "the more u fight the more u communicat, the more you love" i laughed at it when i first heard it but now im smiling to it. because its true. somehow i felt love when we fight and when things go so wrong. i dont know if u feel likewise.

i asked myself were we too caught up with what's going on we forgot about how things were initially? how did we first feel when we went on our first few dates? when was the last time we sat each other down to talk to cherish that moment and to laugh? perhaps we forgot we had to do that to keep a r/s going. honestly, im a bad example of someone who can keep a r/s going. but i feel the above is true. take just one day to redo things u used to do with yr other half. u will find that it will not only spice yr r/s up it will cause some new sparks to fly :)

Ti amo

loved

. ' Friday, May 28, 2010 Y