The Holiday Grouse

Every time someone asks how our holiday went, I have to hesitate. My first inclination is to get all sad, and say, "Oh, it was fine, I guess." The truth is, it was full of things to be thankful for. I am ashamed that I can find so much to complain about first.

Not to say that it went all roses. The car did break down. I did not get to see Mom, which was the whole point of trying to go home. We did get stuck on the side of the road in a car that was supposed to be fixed. However, God still shows us compassion.

I wanted to buy a blanket to send to Niki. I was able to buy five. Spending two hours in our dead car on the side of the road made us cold enough to appreciate the needs of the homeless in Colorado in winter. I have friends who are every bit as good as family. We didn't have to walk to Clines Corners four miles away, and we didn't have to hitchhike into Albuquerque.

We got picked up by our friends. Conveniently, they were able to come an hour outside of town to get us, without much delay. They took us into town and shared their lunch leftovers with us for one of the best Thanksgiving dinners I have ever had. We were able to stay the weekend at another house, in "Mom's room" (Mom and Dad have their own room at this friend's house. She is their hotel in ABQ).

Dad made two trips down to ABQ to see us. One trip to bring us a vehicle to take us home, just in case he could not come again to get our car. I got to see Dad and my Bro on that trip, on Friday. We had a late lunch, and sent them on their way. The second trip, Dad came alone with a truck and trailer to tow my car to his mechanic. DH and I helped get the car onto the trailer. My car made the trip home on Saturday, without me.

I got to play Scrabble with our friend. I don't get to play very much with our friends here. There is only one who loves to play as much as I, and he beats me all the time. Our friend in ABQ is a librarian, and has an extensive vocabulary, so it was a GAME. I won one of them (EQUIP ending on a triple word square for 78 points doubled my score and, I think, sealed that one.), and she won the second and the third. Speaking of Scrabble, DH just handed me a page off his Classic Dave Barry page-a-day calendar. This is the page from Thanksgiving Day, Thursday, November 22.

The one board game that I still play is Scrabble. I like it because unlike most other games, which basically are pointless time-consumers, in Scrabble you can do something mentally stimulating and worthwhile: make naughty words. There is nothing quite like the sense of intellectual accomplishment that comes from spelling out, say, "b-o-s-o-m", knowing that it will be sitting there on the board for hours, staring up at your opponents.

I personally try to avoid the dirty words. I don't like using them, I don't want to stare at them for hours. Scrabble usually takes at least two hours. The last hour is usually spent trying to figure out where to play that I that you didn't use on the last word you played, while your opponent is trying to dispose of a Z, W and J with no vowels.

On Sunday, we had a safe drive home in Dad's 1985 Dodge Caravan (it has 212,800+ miles on it!). I don't know what I want to do. The trick is to see if it is worth it to repair the car, or just junk it for scrap metal. If it truly needs a new engine, Dad will have to tow it to me, or at least to ABQ, to get to a shop that has the tools to do the heavy lifting of an engine swap. We should know more next week, after the mechanic has a chance to look at it. It could just need a new intake manifold (a mere $900 by all accounts). A new engine will cost less than replacing the car... but at what value? A replacement engine will be a rebuilt, and it was the flaw in the engine that started this circus. I am considering buying Dad's van. He said I could borrow it as long as necessary. He was just glad that, since they replaced it this summer with a newer van, they had not let the insurance lapse on it. The tag is good until May.

Mom has many friends and church members who come over to visit her. There are two in particular who stayed with her during Dad's trips to help me. I am grateful for their kindness.

All in all, the trip was good. It was nothing like we expected, and not at all what we wanted, but that is not to say it wasn't good at all. God showed us how He cares for us, and will not let us down or abandon us. I know people who had more stressful trips than we had, even though I don't want to be complaining or comparing. We saw God on this trip, and He safely brought us home to the job that DH loves, in plenty of time to go to work as scheduled on Monday.

Mom went into the hospital on Monday, and remained there all day Tuesday as well. I can't help but feel a bit of guilt. Mom can't handle stress in the same way she used to. When I was young, stress gave her cold sores. Now, stress gives her shortness of breath, anemia and tremors. She went to the hospital after stressing over me and my "adventure". I know better than to blame myself for her failing health, but I can't help it. Would she have gone to the hospital if I had not tried to come home? Probably. Can I do anything to make it better? Or worse? No. Absolutely not. When I talked to Dad on Monday night, he sounded so very tired. He does so much for her. I think it wears him down.

So please don't ask me how my Holiday was. Don't ask me how I am. Box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

Ask me what blessings I have received today. Ask me whom I have helped to see God today.

Ask me which new car I like (this minute).

Thankfully

Since my previous journey into starting a conversation flopped, I am just going to say that I hope everyone had a good Holiday. I would love to hear what each of you is thankful for.

Things I Learned On My Trip
(in pretty much the order I thought of them)

1. Pack an extra change of clothes, just in case.
2. Mexican Blankets are cheaper in the middle of nowhere.
3. Chevy cars don't like the long hills on I40 between Milagro and Moriarty.
4. Moriarty and Mortality sound a lot alike.
5. Things are never so bad as they seem.
6. A layer of snow protects your car from getting ticketed for towing.
7. Daddies never lose their magic to fix stuff.
8. Mom's landlady's niece's sister's husband suddenly counts as family, even if you've never met him before. (sounds more dramatic than my friend's brother-in-law)
9. "Good Holiday" and "Good Trip" are two VERY different things.
10. Dry heat is OK. Dry cold.... not so much.
11. Bedlam is still important. (Go O.U.!)

More details to come. Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.

Yip Eye Oh Eeee Aye!

Oklahoma.

46th State in the Union.

Its quarter will be the first issued in 2008.

100 years strong today.

Oklahoma,

OK!

Boil That Trouble, Cauldron Bubble

Word of the Post
Today's word is: forgive
/for*give"/ verb
To cease to feel resentment toward; to give up claim to retribution upon. The person or the action can be the object of this verb; commonly one is the direct object, while the second is the indirect object, i.e. "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." - words of Jesus, Matthew 5:12.
To stop blaming; to absolve from payment. This does not imply that the action was not wrong, but that the feelings of the wronged can be put aside for the betterment of the wrongdoer.
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Forgive me, I have not posted in a long while. This life gets crazy at times. I have been dealing with travel, helping my friends, and depression. I don't know what causes my depression, but I know that I have it. I have never been diagnosed, because I have no insurance, and do not feel comfortable talking to a doctor that may not be a Christian. I know to some of you, that makes no sense. To me, it is everything. I want to talk out my problems, but I don't want a heathen to listen to the issues that effect my Christianity, because I don't think they can understand the background music. I don't want to talk to a Christian counselor (there are some fine options at my congregation), because I am afraid that I may end up as an example in a public lesson. Either way, I sit here without help, and don't know exactly where to turn.

So, in an effort to get myself out of the funk I have allowed myself to fall into.... I pour myself into work. Around the house, I have done dishes and laundry enough to make my hands raw. For my friends, I have traveled to St. Louis, picked up kids from school and laughed. I have not tried writing, which is usually my first course of action. I have gone through the motions of having a normal life, and hated most of it. Today, I felt I must write. If not for you, then simply for me. In an effort to stir up conversation, and maybe to get myself to think more critically, I want to start a new topic.

I have many strong opinions on this subject, and you may not agree with me at all, but I have to state them, as it is my right to do. I have been prayerfully considering my statements, and I ask that you prayerfully consider your answers. I do not mean to cause division, and I am trying to maintain my own humility toward the subject. My first resource is the Bible. I want to make sure to keep the integrity of the Word, and allowing my opinions to form from there and not from my own pride or humanity.

Many times over the past few months, I have thought on the subject of sexuality. Primarily the sinfulness and public acceptance of the homosexual community. Their public push for equality mirrors that of many minority groups in America. They all want so much equality that they become the standard, not the aberration.

What if the tendency is a born trait? I have a hard time believing that God would create a trait, and then tell us it is a sin. Leviticus 18:22 calls this act "detestable" or "an abomination" depending on the translation you look at. Leviticus 20:13 says that both parties in such an act should be put to death, and the guilt of their blood is on their own heads. Death is the God-decreed punishment for such sin. Why would any god, especially a Creator God, make something that He calls sinful and plans to destroy?

Romans 1:27 - "and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error." (*NOTE: Politically Incorrect thought warning: I don't care that my opinion is not PC. I don't try to be PC. Politics can kiss my left toe. I would rather be a Jesus Freak.) Seems that AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) is a punishment, a disease brought on by the sin of sexual misconduct. Probably not a new way to die, simply the new term for an age-old illness. I am not saying that everyone with AIDS is a sinner in this manner. There are many ways to Acquire this Deficiency. Children of drug users can get it, having done absolutely nothing wrong. Maybe it got its start in the depravity of sin?

I won't argue if the tendency to be attracted to the same sex is a born trait. I will say that, like any other sexual choice, it is the action and the lifestyle that are sin. I do believe that a person can change. I believe that sexual conduct is a choice. A person who has lived a gay lifestyle can repent, and abstain, as any heterosexual person can abstain. If the tendency is born, then it is a result of human error, not of creation.

I truly do not wish to know what goes on behind the door to anyone else's bedroom. It is none of my business. It is not my place to know, nor to judge. However, if it is brought to my attention (as in, "Hi, I'm gay!") I can feel the need to comment. God has already pronounced judgment on this sin. For me to call a sin by its name and to inform the sinner of the verdict is not a judging. I share only the judgment that is God's word. Sexual conduct in this manner is sin.

The spark on the kindling for this discussion for me this week was a movie ("What Makes a Family", made for TV, 2001) about a woman who had lost her partner (death), and was suing the maternal grandparents for custody of the child (the partner had a sperm-donated baby) she had helped to raise but she had no blood tie to. According to the movie, Florida was at that time the only state with laws still on the books preventing same-sex couples to adopt. Rosie O'Donnell (not my favorite political spokesperson) tried to adopt, in New York, a child from Florida, and was denied because of their laws.

I am not heartless. I want kids to have stable, safe, loving homes to live in. There are way more kids in this world who are unwanted by their birth parents, than there are foster and adoptive homes to care for them. There have been many studies to show (and used in these Florida court cases) that same-sex couples are not any more likely to raise gay children. In fact, the opposite seems to be true. The problem I see is that they are promoting "tolerance" for something that God does not tolerate. The children raised in these homes may not feel that they are personally supposed to be gay, but they are raised with the idea that being gay is OK. That it is "normal". That it is simply a persecuted minority, or a misunderstood cult.

I am not happy about it, but I have family members who have differing opinions and lifestyles than I do. We have had long discussions about this. We all still get along fine. We have a mutual respect. We all understand that Public Displays of Affection are gross, no matter who is doing it. We do not spend the night in each other's homes. We still invite them over for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I pray all the time that their souls will be saved by a change of heart that may never come. It is hard to change a person who 1. does not want to change, and 2. has been with his partner longer than my own parents have been married (more than 38 years).

God calls homosexuality reprehensible. To raise a child in the opinion that it is OK is wrong. To have a strong opinion based on God's laws does not make me "intolerant".

To ignore God is an exercise in futility.

Let the games begin!