a sign of where you still lingers, thus shall find comfort in knowing you're safe.

sometime, it's good when you aint that clever. you would just accept the world as it is instead of wondering so much why. sometime, i would rather to be them, so that i wouldnt think too much.



happy 27th ♥

do you remember my N81? i recently changed back to it as my current phone has problem. i just merely swap the battery over, praying that it would work.

i saw our sms, i looked at the date and it stated 25/1/2010. it was merely few months back. i looked through the sms as well as the photos. i saw the photos that we took during my birthday. it was sweet. i'm thankful for taking photos with my phone. for sometime, when everything falls. there're still there to remind you your past. <3

i saw my birthday shoot,those with geannie, your shoots with muffin, the firework we looked, the big watermelon at bedok inter, the fishing trip we had at punggol end. where we saw a old couple using their van as lighting to fish, flyer trips, your awfully chocolate banana cake and zoo trip!


you told me how people would backstab me. if their backstab would bring you back, i would.


if only i could be more judgmental.

i cried not because the kid was screaming like crazy but i cried when i raise my volume to my mum. i dont know why but it's just started to roll down. sometime i think, was that if i had done enough in this life. like bringing laughters to friends , showing filial piety to my parents. enough, so that i would move on in life. by move on, it might be death. sometime i really wonder.

awhile back, i changed to my old phone and i saw pictures of her. i meant a lot! it brings back lots of memories. memories that are so sweet that she was still here along.


i'm thinking, would someone miss another person till a extend that they become insane? and create an alternate reality of the person itself. then i realise, actually they are such cases, but they aint insane. sometime, they just couldnt find the comfort others could give. example would be a guy marrying his pillow and bringing it to theme park and co. was it that he was insane? i believe everyone would say so. but who are they to really to judge him? who are there to experience what he had gone through. no one did, so everyone was just making assumption. deep down. everyone just wants to feel loved.

i heard of another case whereby a guy stayed at his home for 15years! he went out just to buy games, hardwares and food. the news said that because of his lack of contract with the cruel reality, many times he was lied to and played with. how many times would someone able to withstand such stuffs. then i realise, everyone have their own stories to tell.
what you're able to see at the surface doesnt mean what they're really feeling.

i dont know how you're doing so far. i do hope you're doing great because you wouldnt allow me to have a glimpse of your life anymore.


haze is madness and i'm falling sick due to it.i'm very tired recently as i often sleep around 8+.


i'm afraid to text you because i'm scare how angry you would be when you saw it.
i wouldnt mind to even be that small part in your life.
emozxzxz

by not talking about it doesnt mean i dont miss you. it's just means that i'm tired of telling the world how much i really do miss you.

no one falls in love by choice, it is by chance.
no one stays in love by chance, it is by work.
and no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice.

are you really happier without me?

i learnt not to take you from granted because everywhere we go. i see us, and i tell myself that we went such areas before. depressing i know, but it would be alright.

a promise made

Scorpions - Still Loving You

Time, it needs time
To win back your love again.
I will be there, I will be there.

Love, only love
Can bring back your love someday.
I will be there, I will be there.

Fight, babe, I'll fight
To win back your love again.
I will be there, I will be there.

Love, only love
Can break down the walls someday.
I will be there, I will be there.

If we'd go again
All the way from the start,
I would try to change
The things that killed our love.

Your pride has build a wall, so strong
That I can't get through.
Is there really no chance
To start once again?
I'm loving you.

Try, baby try
To trust in my love again.
I will be there, I will be there.

Love, your love
Just shouldn't be thrown away.
I will be there, I will be there.

If we'd go again
All the way from the start,
I would try to change
The things that killed our love.

Your pride has build a wall, so strong
That I can't get through.
Is there really no chance
To start once again?

If we'd go again
All the way from the start,
I would try to change
The things that killed our love.

Yes I've hurt your pride, and I know
What you've been through.
You should give me a chance
This can't be the end.

I'm still loving you.
I'm still loving you,
I need your love.
I'm still loving you.
Still loving you, baby...

i dream of you again, you are back with me again. how i long to see those smile of you smiling for me.

do you know that i still misses you?

two are better then one.

went on a basketball games last night with my neighbours and co. been a while since i last exercise, few months i guess. i couldnt remember when i exercise but i do remember i did exercise with her before. we went for a little run around the anvorvale sport hall's park. i think it should be quite awhile back and yes, i did miss her and i do miss her.

well, to be honest she had not really left my mind. she always been around there. i could always see a part of her somewhere.
am i sad? i dont know, what can you tell? what you can see here is only one-sided. perhaps, i really do. but i had to accept the fact that she had left me for good with no returning back.

baby, stay happy.

even though i couldnt adjust my body clock within 1 day, but numerous days of determination would make it still.
went for a steamboat session today, was extremely bloated. i think our table ate at least 5 plates of sliced meat. i think around 2 plates each for our table only had 3 people. should start boycotting steamboat since NAFA is coming. time to keep fit, if only typing is as easy as doing it.



if i'm a little better with words or able to understand words within words, then i wont say things just to make you go away and never come back.

you can change your name, your nationality, your lifestyle and habits.
you can go for plastic surgery. you can go move to a far far away land.
but you're still whom you're. no matter how you want to change, deep inside you're are still who you're.

like they say, you can run but you cant hide.


when you're down with no one around to care, think of me.think of my cheeky face and retarded actions, you might just find some comfort there.


on a side note, am i going too low profile or my life is like a mystery?


no doubt, i do miss you at times but that doesnt mean we have to get together again.

just give him sometime, what meant to be would be.
it's ok to feel something.


school starting soon and i always couldnt have a good night sleep before the day. perhaps due to my screw my body clock that i'm always in such a state.


back then, there would always be a some special one to give me a text message or morning call.
must learn to be self-contended! at least during those period, there are someone special to do that for me. we feel sad because we're not contended and wanted more. learn not to and you would be free.

now take your ching chang chong and go wu la la la.

i realize my aircon havent been turn on for like 9mths+ ever since my ex gf birthday till now! glad that it's still working perfectly. you might wonder why wasnt it turn on? because back then, her friends gave her hamsters as her presents. sadly, 9mths time, they all died one by one. i had no control. =(

i was browsing though my tagboard when i saw that "can tell them about me" then i browse back to that particular history then i saw that it was about what stories are you gonna stay with your kids when you're old.

i can tell them to cherish everyone before they're gone and never take anyone for granted. tell them my past mistakes, hopping that they wouldnt follow the footsteps i take. it's always good to plan early.

english cover of Taeyang - Wedding Dress.


Lyrics:
(Verse 1 - Tommy C)
Never should've let you go
Never found myself at home
Ever since that day that you walked
Right out the door

You were like my beating heart
That I, I can't control
Even though weve grown apart
My brain cant seem to let you go

Thinking back to the old times
When you kept me up late at night
We use to mess around
Laugh and play, fuss and fight

(Pre-Chorus)
I guess its too late, Im dancing this dance alone
This chapters done, the story goes on

(Chorus)
Baby
Can't believe that you are not with me
'Cause you should be my lady
All I want is to set your heart free

But if you believe that you belong with him
Promise me, you wont let anyone hurt you
Remember, I will always be here for you
Even if it kills me to see you

In that wedding dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress
See you in that wedding dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress

(Verse 2)
Snappin out this misery
Depression this aint me
But I always turn around
180 degrees

You got control of me
And I, I cant explain
Somebody call 911 Emergency
Before I go insane

Since youve moved on
You took a piece of me give it back
So much pain in my chest
Blacking out, heart attack

(Pre-Chorus)

(Chorus)

(Verse 3 - J.Reyez)
And I see you with your man and it's hard to understand
If we belong, if I did you wrong, where we even began
We would always fuss and fight and it seems nothing was right
But I loved you girl and you were my world but you'd never trust this guy
'Cause the things I do when I'm on the stage, they say I'm a superstar
You couldn't understand all the female fans and then we grew apart
And I just don't get when you're acting like some other person
But I try my best to hold on at the times when it ain't working
And everytime that you say it's over it breaks my heart and I don't know why
'Cause you've done it a lot of times in the past but I get back up and try
You said we could work it out, how could you hurt me now
And you moved on to the next, I'm left with an imperfect smile

(Chorus)

most of the time, i'm pretty easy going. but there are somethings that i'm really stubborn about.

and yes, we did finally sat down and have a nice talk. i felt totally scared when she is closing in, my heart pump faster, i sweat faster and i couldnt even talk properly. but, things goes out pretty ok i guess. or at least, the way i think it to be.

i'm just a little stubborn over you. i do not have much aims in life but i do my best to achieve them whenever i had one. i wouldnt know how long this enthu would last but i'm sure, it will last as long as i could.

you know i dont make empty promises.

只怪我们相遇得太早

now that i got my leather watch! i wanna T-Shirts, shoes and a new hairstyle! things dont come free, so better start working hard for it!

school's starting later but lucky for me, i only have a 3days study week. starting from thursday,friday and monday. life's been normal for me just that, i'm a pretty 'depress' recently. i think depress was a little too extreme. oh well, gonna work hard for FYP 2. my GPA drop by 0.03 and i fail my FYP.sad huh, but what past is past, you cant change the facts it is like that, but you can change what is going to happen after that and how to deal with it.

i aint going to run from it anymore, you taught me not to run from it. you knew my worst problems, i'm thankful for having you once to figure out my problems.

those that make those beautiful eyes of yours cry aint worth it.

it means that i'm not worthy enough for you, since i make those beautiful eyes of your cry

"make yourself busy everytime or find things to do. so you wont even have time to miss her." =(

sometime, i would drive to your block and wait, thinking that if there is any chances for me to see you.


i know i would miss you time to time but i didnt know it would get worse everytime.

found this photo in my phone.

i think, you're my only regret in my life now.

" can understand that we're able to face the fact that the woman you love doesnt love you, but no one can face the fact that someone who love you for years would walk away. "

" if you dont cherish those that love you deeply. one day, if she turns her back on you. you would realize that the one that couldnt take it , is you, not her. "

to the girls out there, to my love out there.

歌曲：小宇
歌手：张震岳 专辑：ok

总有些惊奇的际遇
比方说当我遇见你
你那双温柔莹剔透的眼睛
出现在我梦里
我的爱就像一片云
在你的天空无处停
多渴望化成阵阵的小雨
滋润你心中的土地
不管未来会怎麽样
至少我们现在很开心
不管结局会怎麽样
至少想念的人是你
我不会把它当作游戏
因为我真心对你
总有些话是不能提
怕你会掉入选择题
我把情感自私的那一面
隐藏在黑夜里
我的爱就像一片舟
在你的心湖无处停
寻寻觅觅一个美丽的港湾
希望不再流浪漂荡
我不管未来会怎麽样
我不管结局会怎麽样
但我每天都想见到你
我想真的跟你在一起
如果你还是没法相信
真的没关系我会安静的离去

I've kissed your face, with your arms on my shoulders

The feeling's so sweet, I can't forget

Everytime I close my eyes, I could always see

Those words I don't believe in would come true

And though I've kissed your face, you're no longer by my side (Even though you're no longer by my side)

I can only wish you happiness in life

These broken feelings, I don't want to be the breaking point

Before I sleep, I can only wish to hear, your sweet words again...


張敬軒 - 斷點

靜靜地陪你走了好遠好遠
連眼睛紅了都沒有發現
聽著你說你現在的改變
看著我依然最愛你的笑臉
這條舊路依然沒有改變
以往的每次路過都是晴天
想起我們有過的從前
淚水就一點一點開始蔓延

我轉過我的臉不讓你看見
深藏的暗湧已經越來越明顯
過完了今天就不要再見面
我害怕每天醒來想你好幾遍

我吻過你的臉　你雙手曾在我的雙肩
感覺有那麼甜　我那麼依戀
每當我閉上眼我總是可以看見
失信的諾言全部都會實現

我吻過你的臉　
你已經不在我的身邊(雖然你不在我的身邊)
我還是祝福你過得好一點 斷開的感情線　
我不要做斷點 只想在睡前　
再聽見你的　蜜語甜言...


陳浩民 愛海滔滔

作詞：稻草人　作曲：稻草人

試著去努力　鼓起勇氣放棄你
總是不爭氣　沒有這麼快學會安靜
就連眼淚時刻在提醒　根本無法放得下你
漆黑的夜晚　還是找到了我　排山倒海來襲

一定是我不夠好　所以你才想要逃
逃到天涯和海角　躲在別人的懷抱
你能不能不管過的好不好　不要故意躲開不讓我知道

只要你過得很好　什麼都已不重要
我不會故意打擾　更不會讓你煩惱
我每一夜　不管你知不知道
傻傻流著眼淚默默地祈禱　希望你過得好


總有一天你會看到　愛如海掀起驚天巨滔
我會以無堅不摧的力量　讓你知道



i just wasnt that important to you anymore... =/
i just couldnt find the courage to....

when the hearts beat as one.

do you know that your smile brighten up my days?

i fear that, today would turn for the worse =(((

when you said you wanna go out with me. later that night, my friends called to ask me to drink. i turned them down because deeply, i was happy that you're willing to go out with me. then i reached home and text you, you told me. you're out with your friends for the night.


am i really expecting too much from you? i think i'm, if not i wouldn't be in such state now.

or i'm not that sensitive to take hint? but if that's the case, arent i thinking too much about it?.

sometime , i just wonder are you toying around with me or are you serious? are you talking to me for the sake of entertaining me or else-wise? you said chances, i'm taking them seriously but you doesnt seem to take it that way.

can you at least show some respect? i'm too a human being that has feelings.

was i asking for too much? shouldnt i be self-contended? aint good, for this greed is making me suffer, the more you anticipate, the worse you fall. i wanna cry, but i dont know what stopping me. was it my pride? or was it that i'm redundant.

i looked tho your old blog. i never felt so out of love before, i'm so not used without your presence. no one really know how i felt as i dont know tell them much, i choose not to tell them much as i prefer keeping things to myself so not to trouble others.
i just dont know what i want , i just dont know what you want.

i'd love to be cherished by you.
emozxzxz

was back from mini celebration with my family at Punggol Marina Club, the new Sakura. first time there but everything seem pretty alright. then my uncle and aunt join us along, there was a arcade and my uncle and my dad challenge to a car race!



cute huh!

then here are my presents, 1 from my DIDM, 1 from my aunt!









then a mini cake celebration and this mark the start of my 20th! gonna be a tough one for sure.nobody said it was easy but it's time to stay focus.



i just love the way you lie.

first of all. went cycling. suppose to meet at parkway parade. but somehow, i forget how to go there till i reach there and realize there got 43. because it's been sometime ever since i go there and last time i used to go there to find her at Bonia. been sometime since she doesnt work at there anymore also.

anyway, we brought our drinks at Parkway Parade before setting off to rent our bike at ECP. we rent our bike before heading to the hawker center to get our food.

so, we cycled from ECP to Changi to Pasir Ris to Tampines to Bedok then back to ECP. was a tough ride tho with lot of detours. i can estimate around 10km we cycled. i'm sure we all had a bruised ass after we reach home.



then i went home to sleep then wake up for another outing with the DIDM. i woke up around 5pm then rested at home till it was 7 to get my car ride so i dont have to travel back and fro for my fishing gear. i remember copying the instructions before heading down to the Bottle Tree Village at some ulu ulu area.


it's like a zhi char stall with nice sea view. anyway, it's was a small pre celebration for me. then heading to Changi to fish. had lots of fun playing there.



thanks DIDM for the celebration. appreciated it much! thanks for the endless un-wrapping of the present ♥

dont fucking toy with me. thanks

do i look like some pushover?

it's gonna be weird this year....

i was cleaning my room when i saw this colorful cards lying there. at the front page was Jamming towards LOVE and the last was This is how it continue.i cant help to feel a pinch deep down. i cant help flipping tho the pages to see what you wrote. i dont know if you remember but i do.

which then reminds me of your birthday, the ever first birthday i planned or i should say the first ever birthday i took initiative to plan. back then, we were so much sweeter. i dont know why that we had lost such sweetness over the years.


i lose all the photos we took. i couldnt find them anymore.


i realize friends play big part when quarrels happen. when you're down, you find those important person that you value the most and ask for their comments. in which it have a deepest impact.


i'm clear of what is going on. just that i refuse to face the truth. if you were in my situation, you would understand. you really would.... =(

i realize songs actually make a impact on you when you grow up, whether directly or indirectly. the choice of songs and the lyrics actually reflect your person-ability.
it's still a area to explore tho. because for my case, i realize that my mindset is somehow related to songs that best define life.

宋岳庭 - Life's a struggle
when i was during my lower sec school life, someone sent me this song. till now, the lyrics still impact me.



anyway , was out with DIDM for the night. tired driving around but it was worth the fun. tho, we're struck with places to go so we ended up in punggol end. feel kind of bad as someone stayed far and had to travel back.



i always been a optimistic in my life. i realise that sometime, we just had to look at the negative part. we had to be true to ourselves that not all things would be the way we think it to be.


had i told you that you appeared in my dream recently? the dream was just like what state are we in now. =/



somehow, i dont see the excitement for this year.

babylove; i always say it's erxin but i just like the way you say it to me.

i think we just got bored of each other presences. but somehow, i miss you.

if you're not planning to change anything then why get back. the same problem still arise after time.
what if, i told you i would make some change. what if, but then you wouldnt listen to me anymore.