do you miss him?
do you breath?



i feel like quitting school.i feel like quitting life.
i started finding excuses for whatever i do.
if only those empty talks of mine could come real.

over the time, when you started running from everything and when you decided to come back. you would realise everything changed.
you couldnt express yourself because you dont do so.
it's just a mixture of feeling of which i cant make up of.i dont know if it was joy or sadness because i couldnt really differentiate between both right now.
that's what happen when you stored everything into a bottle. you cant really tell the difference.


i always expect others to meet my expectation. but why i never expect myself to meet their expectation?
i find myself become more and more demanding, more and more greedy. human greeds is like a blackhole, it aint gonna stop.


told to follow my heart, it told me that i shouldnt ask for too much in return.

when i was young, i would hide in the cupboard to detach myself from the world for awhile.
i always wanted to sit longer but the fear of my mum thinking that i was abnormal scares me. perhaps, i'm really abnormal but i wouldn't want them to know.

"my empty talks are just like the vast ocean, it never stops."

"i recalled my past and look at the present. it was shit and it still is."

"i sat at the place where national players are supposed to sit.a photographer came over and asked, arent that place for national players? i stood up and shouted into his face, cant a fat man be a national player?"

I think the "Seven Wonders of the World" are:

1.- To see
2.- To hear
3.- To touch
4.- To taste
5.- To feel
6.- To laugh
7.- To love


The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous! A gentle reminder -- that the most precious things in life cannot be built by hand or bought by man.


"those that're born with physical defects doesn't mean they don't feel."

"Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting
And rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are
and Look for the good in them.

"to make friendship last one should purposely stress friends' merits and avoid exposing their demerits."


如果我喜欢上了你，我该怎么办？
为什么你不回答我？
为什么原来你要对我那么好？
为什么现在的你不再是原来的你？
也许只是你成熟了
只有我一个人还在梦中的童话里
你永远都不会知道那时你的好
伤我现在有多深

如果我喜欢上了你，我该怎么办？
我还要继续喜欢你无论是否有结果吗？
或是不在继续？
把爱深藏在心里？
你不能给我答案
我自己也没有答案
在迷茫中度过一天又一天

好想好想去买醉
好想大哭一场
我告诉自己时间会让我看淡一切
回到属于我的地方
寻找属于我的爱

如果我喜欢上了你，我该怎么办？
我最后决定转身远离你
让自己得到一片净土

男人的谎言可以欺骗女人一夜，女人的谎言能欺骗男人的一生，婚姻非儿戏，请三思而行

未来那么长,长到足够让我忘记你.足够我重新用力地喜欢一个人,就像当初喜欢你一样

我们应该记得有一种爱叫做放手

幸福靠自己，除了学会放弃！我们还要学会坚持！

时间在变,人的思想也跟着在改变,只有在当时去好好珍惜,以后才不会后悔!既然是过去式了,就要懂得怎么去遗忘``````

有首歌唱的好：“有一种爱叫做放手。”其实有些东西真正得到了你也许不会去珍惜，会觉得它不在有你理想中的那么美了，所以只有适当的放手才会使它更美。而且不要因为忘不了而去爱一个人，那样会使真正爱你的人受伤，因为在你忘的过程中会比较两个人，而在比较的过程里是用想忘人的好比爱你人的不足，这样也会对你爱的人会照成伤害！所以忘不了而去爱一个人是要在一定条件下去做的，这个条件就是你真正决定要放手要放弃的决定。

爱她的话就让她走吧……感情的事勉强不来的放手了，才会发现原来天是蓝的走出过去，永远得不到将来……说不定会伤了另一个爱你的人……

horror scares me just like reflection of humanity.


i never dare to watch horror movies by myself, for what i watch often haunts me in my dreams.
i always choose the comedy genre because i wanted to be happy instead of being gloomy and i looked everywhere for the strength to be happy and feel happy everyday.i looked at inspirational movies/posters/pictures to find motivation everyday.
it just then i realise, i was finding reasons to keep myself alive. i was finding reasons to become someone i'm not. i'm trying to change myself unknowingly.

we're afterall humans, we do have feelings even when "we're happy go lucky".please do respect us, as well.



blog is suppose to be a area where you unfold your darkest secrets. but, i never allow it to be unfold. because fear is eating me inside out.
from young , i felt that i should rely on myself and now still.


my life is in a horror because i see the truth of humanity.
what haunts you forever. i couldnt answer because i realise that everything haunts for me forever.

It’s either you make or break it.

for people like my genre, it's either we get stronger or we become mentally tormented that we literally break it and detach ourselves from the world and grew up to be some insane mother fucker ,that enjoy life through sadism or other sick things. Many movies had such similar plot, the main character always get mindfuck due to the environment, their classes, their parents.
So mindfuck that when they grew up, they literally become a mad mother fucker that despise the world and wanted nothing more than revenge.

For some weird reasons, I believe in my sub- conscious.i’m going to break it.
I speak from my experience. Like this morning, I woke up to see hamsters chewing on each other. I felt nothing perhaps I was just awake. Anyway, I stood sat there to watch one of them chewing on another and had no feelings about it. Half of the head was chewed away and I find it kind of “cool” due to the fact this is life. And so I sat there and continue watching it chewing it. Bones could be seen and I felt really nothing at that point of time. I couldn’t feel anything but just sat there to watch, to observe the cycle of life.

I think if I was ever given such a chance, I might really become Leatherface or similar characters. I don’t know, it’s pretty sick to many but I find it kind of normal. I don’t know.

I think I’m really mentally sick.i might really need a doctor or really get someone to talk with. When you kept keeping things to yourself, many unexplainable, illogical things just happens.

"hey, i felt offended that you invaded my privacy."
"oh,ok.*silence"
*endless ranting*
"all i wanted to was, to let you know that you're not alone suffering and there're people like me to help you to share your troubles."



you're not alone stranded with no help. for i'm here to be with you, to help you whenever you fall and please, please please do not always rely on me for help because i wouldn't not be there forever to help you whenever you fall, but i would try my best to be there for you.
sooner or later, you would learn how to get out of it quickly. what i could do now, is to guide you along so that you would be stronger next time.

because Things change. And friends leave. And life doesn’t stop for anybody.

our conscious knows best.

ever hated someone for being so cocky and haolian about his/her grades?

there are many times where such incidents actually happens.
i actually realise that behind such person, there lies a big dream.dreams that actually pushes them to get what they want. no doubt, their actions irks many but they had what it take, does you?

recently , a guy was mentioned and i knew his story, about his dreams and i'm pretty sure. few years down the road, such rumors wouldn't really matter to him.


a person with dreams could achieve further without those that doesn't. often, people without dreams/not achieving their dreams had 1 common thing, they often like to remark about how this person is or what. but have they actually realize, this is actually what you get when you're trying to achieve your dreams. many people would put you down in the hardest way as they can, but does you really have what it takes to achieve your dreams? or are you going to back down, thinking perhaps i should really change for abit for whom you called friends?


often , sacrifice had to be made.

i'm not talking about anyone in particular.


just trying to say that often, those that put down others are the ones not daring enough to purse their dreams.

I’ve never tried to block out the memories of the past, even though some are painful. I don’t understand people who hide from their past. Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now.
— Sophia Loren

16/7/2010


My friend, Melvin, fetching his bride and I’m one of his brothers. There are total of 8 of us. We faced lots of eating challenge. From what I remembered, we had sliced banana top with thick wasabi, guava in some weird wasabi + other mixture, drink fresh lemon juice and lemon ice cube. Being the 'daring' eater, I actually ate alot of weird weird things and I’m glad I didn’t have a stomache for that day.

So basically, we travel back and forth the groom and bride house for the tea ceremony and we're given angbaos! It’s my first time being a brother and it feels real good and fun.

Then after that we went home to take a rest because there would be event after it. But then, it was actually nothing much. We just catch a movie and then went home


17/07/2010

And it's the actual day and YPH birthday! Anyway, I started getting ready for the wedding as I realise it starts at 530 instead of 6++ anyway, I missed lots of it because I was pretty late for it. It kind of weird when you see your friends with their couples and you had none. Anyway, after that we split into 2 groups because there were 2 events like going to IR and drinking. So I followed the drinking group.

We had lots of fun and I got a headache after that. We were playing drinking games. And emest's gf, Fiona, smelly only.HAHAHA. Anyway, when I got home to sleep. I suddenly woke up with a severe headache and a stuffy chest. For once, I was really suffering, no matter what I did. It doesn’t go away. It lasted around 20mins I guess. I was pretty tired and I wanted to sleep but the pain keeps staying there. Somehow, the pain gets away and I’m able to get my sleep.


Congrats Melvin and Summer for getting married! All the BEST for the newlyweds!!
Happy Birthday to YPH!!



If I were to ask you to such stuffs.

when i get to eat my fruitty ice cream, it makes me a very very happy man!
to those that observe, i would always buy the same ice cream. it just taste that great as compare to many. i like it sweet and simple.


every girl is unique in their way and they need someone better to match them.

i have a weird fetish for girls with short hair and glasses.


anyway , i was told if not much effort was shown. we're gonna stay back 1 more sem to do FYP. my laptop always give me problems when i had important stuffs to do. it's like its way of telling dont expect everything to be swee swee there for you every single time, learn to cherish stuffs!


anyway, i realise i had a habit of skipping sleep at times which is pretty disturbing at school. i get real hype at times and start doing wacky things. and i realise , if you actually walked around in the morning with the fresh air. you tend to be more awake as compared to staying at your home staring into your com.

world cup final! i wanted to bet at the finals and i just realized the finals was today. then i totally forget about it. oh well , what meant to be would be.



mum was nagging at me for the late nights. but she didnt know that i actually enjoyed such nights as compare to staying at home doing nothing. at least , it bond people together even more.


do take care, the Mo Mo Mo.
night walks strengthen bonds.

yesterday night , i was being told just to go for a drink. when i hopped on , they told me they're gonna go to some thai pub.so i had to tag along , it was just like those pub. but i was feeling sad for them as most of them had really really sad story so they had to come over here and earn money for their family.i really do feel for them. anyway , i didnt really do much because it's not my type.



and today , i met up with my sec school friends. it's been real long and everyone changed, whether the looks or the way they talk. it's just like yesterday that we're in secondary school playing.it was real nice to meet them again.




I think we spend too much time wondering why we’re not good enough - we spend too much time over analyzing, over-thinking, and overreacting. We waste too much time putting ourselves down, so much that we don’t ever stop to see that well, we are good enough. You are good enough. We spend too much time with our heads down and hearts closed; and never get a chance to look up from the ground and see that the sun is shining and tomorrow is another day.

when i stretch too much , my ribs hurt even when i'm just merely moving.

i remember i used to have very very long of friends link. till a certain point of time it stopped, for everyone is moving on.

never assume - YPH

i been thinking of the reason why. and now i suppose i know why i'm so redundant to do so. just 1 day , i would do it and get out of this mental block.


i looked through the sms and i know what went wrong but it's too over.

i read my tagboard like just now and i realise , it's been quite some time.

my memory is failing me. i cant seem to remember small stuffs anymore.like now , i dont remember where i put my mouse at.


but i'm happy that i can still blog about it. find the little things in life that makes you believe.


and i believe in Karma. =)

people always try to aim higher even when they're at the highest point. how would you be happy if you're never contended in life.

i'm happy today because my mum cooked food for me as she didnt brought food for me on the way back

we had to be happy and thankful for the happy little things around us.

oh ya! , school found my lost ez link card and i'm happy about it!

i was asked that why people talk about sad things on blog instead of the happy things around them.

reading my older post, i realize how true it was. when i was happy , i wouldnt blog about it.it's just a weird weird things that people around us always take happiness for granted.

did some soul searching yesterday. was really amazed how people can be so alike.anyway , learn to look at the small happy things and talk about it.it makes your day better for sure.

i was asked once , how many romantic stuff i did for my ex. i answered none.

love is not my game.

woke up from a very sweet dream. from what i recalled , we were buying food when suddenly i gave her a peck on the cheek. if i ever do this in reality, she would give me 2 tight slaps. so it was real cool that it's a dream only.

people are replaceable but memories aren't.