Dream Attack

For the past six months or longer, I've had the same dream. A man, an attacker, enters our home. He is standing in our doorway while we are sleeping. It scares the crap out of me. Wakes me in my sleep and keeps me from being able to fall back asleep. I have trouble going to sleep at night from this image in my head. The alarm system is being activated on Saturday morning! Maybe I will catch a few more zzz's after that!!

It's been a week of crazy dreams. I came back to a slammed work week, putting in 13-15 hour days. So busy!! Today, I finally crashed and came back home for a 3 hour nap! But, the dreams, oh the dreams have been so bad! Crazy ones.

Here is the list of this week's attack of the subconscious (is that the correct spelling or is it conscience??)

• A rich friend (faceless of course) gave me a restaurant. It was a high end fancy restaurant and I was named the sole owner. Needed a manager, so naturally, I hired my friend Brandon to run the restaurant. But, I couldn't let my control freak nature go, and I was sticking my nose in the business. The dream ended with Debbie and I screaming at each other with her yelling to "get the hell out of the kitchen!" Sorry, Brandon and Deb, I don't think we should go into business together anytime soon!! Weird dream!

  
  
  

• Last night's dream was the attacker. As I said, it's a reoccuring theme in my slumber. This time, it woke me in the night and I couldn't fall back asleep. Andrew had to hold me at 3:30am to help me feel comfortable. Every time I fell asleep, I saw the image of this man. Of course, once Andrew comforted me, I finally fell asleep. This time, the image of the attacker turned into a fat man that Andrew and I were punching to get out of our house. We kicked the guy's ass too!!

  
  
  And finally--my mom guilt dream---

  
  
  

I was sitting in my office and an article about Heroes and Handbags was in the paper. In the dream, I open the paper to find the article has pictures of handbags, but an entirely different article was there. It's contents? It was all about how bad of a mother I was!! It said that it was a good thing Maggie has such an active father as her mother can best be found at her office or in a meeting. The mom guilt is invading my sleep!! Now, this was the night I was up until 1am working to play catch up (took a 6 page to-do list down to two in the last four days--yeah!!), and I went to sleep right after closing the computer.

Tylenol PM, here I come!!

Cruising with the Kriegers

We just returned from a 7 day cruise with our good friends the Kriegers--Mike, Angela and their awesome boys Josh and Joey!! What a great week we had! It's not our first vacation with the Kriegers, and hopefully will not be our last. Maggie did REALLY well and very rarely cried. We made it through the dining room dinners every evening (but seriously, did the child have to poop every night in the middle of dinner???). Hurricane Dean didn't slow us down--just rerouted us away from Jamaica to Key West instead. I'll do a longer update later (brain dead), but here are a few pictures of our great vacation:

A helper with packing!

Maggie and Josh (aka "Bubba" by Maggie!)--she's totally in love with these guys!

Maggie and Joey!



Cruising life is really hard!! After a long day at port!

A giant sandbox? What fun!! Maggie and Joey on the beach

Maggie and Joey in the semi-sub checking out the coral reef of Cozumel

Fish in the coral reef of Cozumel--"Sheeshies" in Maggie talk

Maggie and Daddy on the semi sub

Checking out the "sheeshies"

With Mama and Angela on the semi-sub

Sacked out after a day in Grand Cayman swimming in the ocean with the stingrays

Our ship, the Rhapsody of the Seas

Andrew in Key West at the Butterfly Conservatory. The butterfly hung out with us the entire walk around--Allie always with us!!

Cruising girls

Cruising kids!

Pretty girl with her Daddy on formal night

Formal Scott Family!

Mike and Angela on formal night

Double the Fun!!!!

"Aunt" Jenny is SO HAPPY--Deb and Brandon are having TWINS!!! YIPEE!!

I can't wait! Love you guys--I'm here for you every step of the way. Congratulations!

Didn't take long

It's been less than two weeks of preschool/daycare. Maggie loves it! We've been so happy there and she has been thriving.

But, of course, we hit the downside--the germs! In the last two weeks, Maggie has had pink eye, a green runny nose and cough, and a stomach bug! She was up vomiting from midnight--5am at my mom's house during her sleepover (poor "GaGa!"). Oh joy. And now, I have the same stomach bug!! Yuck.

Ah, the joys of childcare!

But I'm Still 29

Thirteen years ago, I was waiting outside the Plano East theatre class when I met a cool girl wearing the same sweater as me. I liked her instantly and thought maybe, even though she was a senior and I was a junior, just maybe we could be friends. Liked her even more that afternoon when I saw her get into her bright yellow car, with a cheerful personality to match.

We were inseparable that school year. In a big school like Plano East Senior High, it was nice to find someone like me. We weren't the coolest or most popular, but boy did we ever have fun. We spent our lunch period searching for enough money to buy two Lean cuisine meals from the local grocery store and eat in the theatre room with a kid that ate a tub of Cool Whip for lunch. Yes, Cool Whip. It was 99 cents and he was a big guy. We lived in the theatre department when I wasn't out at the Ag barn taking care of my sheep "Trouble." *That's a whole different story--went through an Agriculture phase for three years and raised lambs and rabbits!* We fit with the theatre crowd, going through a bit of a hippie phase (especially her with her bell bottom jeans that she had finger-painted yellow flowers all over and wore at least twice a week!).

Now, here we are 13 years later and it is Deb's 30th birthday!!!

I have had many friends come and go over the years, but none like Debbie. We've seen each other through all the milestones of our adult years--college, marriage, divorce, babies, death, well, you get the point. Besides Andrew, no one knows me like Deb. She is the person I want to celebrate with. She's the one I call when I'm having a bad day and need a ear to listen to me. And when I need to sob on the phone, my fingers immediately dial her. And I like to think it is the same on her end as well. We've cried together over all kinds of things--Allie's death, our hormones during pregnancy, crazy family members, and even a book she read called Prozac Nation (and called me in tears after finishing!). And we've laughed for hours too. And if you ever tried to count up the hours we've spent over the phone (she's only lived in the same city with me for the past three years and that first year of our friendship--all the rest was long distance with her in Austin), wow, would that ever add up! My daughter associates the phone with "Aunt Debbie," just as her daughter did at this age.

Speaking of kids--I'm blessed to be the godmother of her two awesome, unique, funny, sweet children. We love each others children as our own. We've seen each other deliver our second children. And now, she's pregnant again--and possibly with twins!! It is no secret for my friends that I LOVE newborns. Love them. Love their tiny toes, tiny hands, and soft skin. I am SO excited that Deb is having another baby (and hoping it will stay twins--we find out next week!). Maybe I will see the birth of another of her beautiful children (only if Brandon lets me, of course!)

The thing is--I know this is just the beginning of our friendship. After all these years, I still think she is one of the coolest people I know and I still LOVE being around her. So, I know without a doubt that we will be celebrating her 40th, 50th, and even 60th birthday as friends. And I may still be reminding her that I am still 59!!!

Happy Birthday, Deb! I can't believe you're 30!! Weren't we just 17 and care free just yesterday? Thank you, Deb, for 13 great years of friendship. I only hope I've been as good of friend to you as you've been to me. Love you!

A Heroes Post Tonight

A little Heroes talk tonight....

Work is SO busy! We have three major fundraising events between September 15--October 25th that we are in the process of preparing for. We also have a bunch of other projects and things going on. I love the momentum we have right now and hope it continues to build!

I posted on the HFC blog tonight about the Celebration we had last night. I'm so very proud of this organization and the mission we stand behind. I am so honored to work everyday with friends that I love and get the priviledge to also call my co-workers. Really, I get to work with Larissa, Cheryl, and Christi every day as well as Cricket once a week (to do our bookkeeping). How lucky is that? I love that we are all passionate about serving families and that we believe so strongly in our mission. I love that the memory of Taylor and Allie drive what we do each day. Love that.

I am traveling about twice a month to Houston right now in preparation for our events and in spreading the mission. We have an extraordinary team of women volunteers steering the group down there! I try to make my trips quick ones, no more than an overnight. Andrew is extremely supportive and never complains about having sole parent duty several nights a month for me to travel to Houston, meet about a golf tournament, or have a board meeting. He hits his limit if I mention a girls night, so I try not to have many during our really busy HFC months. That's just not fair to Andrew.

Larissa honored Taylor and her tenth birthday on July 29th. That really hit me. Taylor passed away when she was 4 1/2 and now she would be 10 years old. That's the part of the phrase that gets me--she "would be." Would & should are two of the most dangerous words for parents like us. I have been thinking a lot about Taylor lately. I never knew her, but yet she has made a HUGE impact on my life. Without her, I wouldn't be where I am today. I am so grateful for Taylor and for helping bring Larissa in my life. I hate that my sweet friend had to "celebrate" her daughter's birthday in the way she did a few weeks ago, but I am grateful nonetheless to know the Lintons. Love you, Lar!!

I had a realization the other day--I've been doing this job for almost three years now. I only taught for four. This is becoming who I am. Becoming my identity now. I have said this before, but one of the hardest parts of Allie's death was losing my identity. I lost who I was as I quit my teaching job and I was no longer a mother. Between Maggie and HFC, I have found my identity. And it is one that I like. I told Andrew the other day that I think I like this job more than I liked teaching. He says that is just because I have adapted to it now. But, seriously, I LOVE my job. I love that on any given day, I could be doing something totally different. I get to meet and interact with many different people (right up my alley!). I wear many different hats as a nonprofit director. I am in marketing/pr, fundraising, development, program services, maintenance (shoot, I even painted my own office! Badly, mind you, very badly, but I still painted!), administration, etc. As a small nonprofit, I am very involved on the day to day operations. Most social workers have me on speed dial and I speak to at least one almost every day for some issue or another. I have one that calls me so often, she doesn't say who it is when I answer the phone anymore. She simply says, "Hey," then goes straight into her question! And I love it!

And I think that is about it as I am going to work a little more tonight (prime hours for a little extra work is from 9-11 for me--its so quiet around here!) and then head off to bed.

If you are in the Dallas area and especially if you have children, I hope you will join us at the Heroes for Children 5K Run/Walk! It's Saturday, September 15th and it will be a blast!

It's Potty Time!!!

Potty Training: Is Your Child Ready?

Bring on the potty chair!

Congratulations: Your child is ready to begin toilet training. She is emotionally, physically and cognitively ready to take on this exciting new challenge. Here are some signs that indicate she's raring to go:

She understands the need to "go" and can communicate this to you before she actually goes.

She has nighttime control over her bowel movements.

She demonstrates imitative behavior.

She dislikes wet or dirty diapers.

She is able to stay dry for at least two hours or wakes up dry after a nap.

She is able to pull elastic waist pants up and down.

For more signs that she's going to be a good candidate for potty training, read the 10 Signs of General Readiness.

Well, we decided to take the plunge into the world of potty training. Boy, are we all tired! Maggie has been showing signs now for a few weeks that she is ready (especially with the nakedness!) and having a growing interest in the potty. I discussed it with her teacher on Wednesday and she said, "oh, yes, I noticed her showing signs all day! I definitely think you could try with her!" So, we decided to bite the bullet and give it a whirl!

Started Friday night--one accident but THREE times on the potty!! What a great first start! Between Gymboree and a three hour nap, she had time to potty in her pull up, but she still ended up three times on the potty yesterday. Now, this morning hasn't been quite as successful, with lots of time on the potty, one major pee on the potty, and four accidents throughout the house (maneuvering her out of the pee so she doesn't fall, getting paper towels, and getting the dog not to lick it up is quite the feat!) :)

Now, it is 15 minutes earlier than her usual go down for nap, but I couldn't wait any longer. She is playing in her crib, I'm researching more tips and pointers for success, and then I'm going to take a nap!!

I'm going out with the girls--Jen, Amy, Deb, Jenn Miller, and Stacy (we'll miss you desperately, Tracey, and we won't have any fun, I promise!!)--tonight, so Andrew is on potty duty! We're equipped with sticker books, potty books, and a few other toys that are strictly to be used in the bathroom. She loves to play on the potty (and I have to admit I've had a lot of fun visiting with her and playing with the stickers--lot of one on one time) and LOVES the reward afterwards--washing her hands! How much do I love that handwashing is a treat?

Any good pointers?

Personality Test

Nothing of brilliance tonight. Just a little test I found another friend's blog.

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller! In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart. You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. And you do break a lot of hearts. At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do. You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist. How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused

What's Your Personality Type?

Fairly good description of me. My husband would disagree with the "not a workaholic" phrase!

Miss Preschool 2007

Well, it's official. Maggie is now a preschooler. We have finished our first day, and she is no longer going to a private babysitter. This was no easy decision.

She did great--accident report and everything! That's right, my child managed to have an accident report filled out on her first day. You see, they have to sleep on little cots at preschool. Have you seen what a wiggle worm my little one is? A cot? Yeah right. So, when fidgeting and rolling around on the cot, the teacher told her it was now rest time and she needed to relax. What does my child do? Slams her head down on the cot and falls off! Big strawberry bruise on the center of her forhead later.... No, she didn't sleep at all during school today. Of course, she crashed as soon as we were leaving the parking lot. What a sweet love.

Drop off was emotional. Wouldn't you know I forgot my camera too! Great mom, right? Oh well, there will be other firsts I will be sure to capture. I'm not sure who cried more--me or her. Well, let's be honest--it was me. I cried talking to the teacher, cried talking to the principal, cried driving away. I stayed more than 30 minutes during drop-off to learn more and feel comfortable.

Where did this big girl come from?? Oh, no time and she will be in kindergarten! Can't I just freeze time?