Five years ago we participated in a pioneer trek and
a women's pull. The impact of that day and the many lessons I learned are still so very fresh. It only takes seeing a picture or thinking about that day and so many emotions come flooding back.
This last week Brian and I, along with three of our kids, participated in another trek, this time at Martin's Cove. Remembering the Women's pull from five years ago I have been praying for strength (physical, emotional and spiritual) to take on a similar task again. My assignment on this trek was to take pictures and document this time.I didn't do a whole lot of pushing/pulling, but all women were invited to participate in the Women's pull. I handed my cameras over to Brian and took my place pulling in the front handcart.
Our incredible and inspired stake Young Women's president (Sister Lott) gave an amazing message to the young women. She talked about the difference between
can and
will. Sometimes we might not think we can do something, but if we say, "I will", with the Lord's help we can accomplish anything. We each received a bracelet with a charm and two knots. These knots represented "Doubt not" and "Fear Not". I knew the pull would be hard, but I was ready to give it my all with some incredible women alongside me.
The handcarts were stopped at the base of the hill. Sister Lott started with the back cart and went from group to group inviting one person to ride in the cart. I had seen this happen with the first company and had even put my arms around a "Ma" who didn't want to be that burden in her cart. I had told her it will be OK. When Sister Lott got to our cart she looked right in my eyes and all she said was "Jen?" I asked, "really?" and she nodded. Tears started to flow. I was willing to do what I was asked, but it was hard.
As I sat in the cart two sisters pulled and one sister pushed. I could easily see how difficult it was for them. I could hear the labored breathing of the sister behind me. We slowed as rocks covered the sandy hill. Men, young and older, lined the trail, with hats over their hearts. I didn't want to look in their faces. I wanted to be pulling, but instead I found myself praying for those who were pushing and pulling. I had no doubt we would make it, but I felt bad for not being part of this strong effort to get to the top of the hill.
I thought over and over again that is is so hard to watch people struggle, and to not be able to help, especially when you see that some of their struggle comes from serving you.
We reached the top of the hill and were able to watch the other carts reach the top too. I pulled out a little camera from my backpack and captured some poignant moments, all while watching for Liz and her group to arrive. I saw Liz. She had also been chosen to ride in a cart. And in the instant I saw her the Lord taught me my lesson of this Pull. Sometimes Liz (and me, and each of us) feel like we have to do things on our own. But in this moment I felt like God was telling me that there are countless people around who love us and are wanting and willing to help. I watched those pulling Liz's cart and was reminded that she (and me and each of us) are never alone. We have family, we have friends, and more importantly we have the Lord. And we should never feel like it is weakness to ask for help.
This experience was not as physically demanding for me as it was for those pulling, but I will venture to say it was just as difficult, but in a different way.
In the hours and days that have followed, I have pondered this experience and talked about it and the Lord has continued to teach me. Here are a couple of lessons that have sunk in during the last couple of days.
- Sometimes we are asked to push and pull, and sometimes we are the ones that are asked to climb into the handcart. We are given different responsibilities and assignments at different times in our lives. Sometimes we are called to serve in "big" or "visible" callings. Sometimes we are asked to serve in ways that may seem to go almost unnoticed. Sometimes we are called to go to exciting and exotic places to serve, and sometimes the Lord needs us to stay where we are and serve there. Are we willing to do what is asked of us, no matter what it is? I wanted to be part of the force that got up that hill. I knew I would be strong enough with God's help, but the Lord needed me in the handcart.
- The Lord gives us the experiences that we need, not necessarily the experiences we want. Our stake president used a phrase in a conversation that I had with him, something like "customized curriculum." The Lord knows exactly what each of us needs to learn and gives the the experiences, trials and opportunities to learn those lessons. Five years ago I had that grueling physical experience that taught me so much. This time the Lord taught me different lessons in a different way, in the way I needed.
- And today during the sacrament I was taught another lesson. It is something I have thought about, by my experience with the Women's Pull on Friday gave me a whole knew perspective. We have been called to minister, to
care for one another in a bold, new, holier way. I think often of sisters in my stewardship and others in my ward and neighborhood. Many face significant challenges and I often feel completely inadequate to lift their burdens. Like sitting in the cart, I feel like I am watching and listening to them struggle without being able to push alongside them. But during the sacrament today I was reminded that it is OK that I cannot take away their burdens, and often I cannot "fix" things to make their burdens lighter. Rather, I can find small ways to strengthen them so that they feel more able to carry the burdens that they have been given. Remembering them in my prayers, sending a thought, talk or scripture that has brought me strength, offering encouragement and letting them know they are not forgotten. These are all small things, but can significantly strengthen those we are called to minister to. I can encourage, lift and pray so that those I love are strengthened and able to keep pushing their carts.
Liz told me later that when her cart started up the hill she felt like she was either going to cry our jump out and help push. Instead she sat in her cart and gave pretty constant stream of encouragement and reminders. And I couldn't help but think of how she is so naturally good at giving kindness and support to those around her. She doesn't worry about not being able to fix things, she just does what she knows how to do. The picture below is from the night before the Women's Pull. She put her arms around a friend to help when she was sad.
