Gaining weight
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10 'symtoms' of gaining weight
1. You feel like munching on something ALL the time.
-which resulted in you, eating junk food & all the other UNHEALTHY foodstuff.
2. You've become increasingly lazy.
-you tend to 'postpone' the list of things that needed to be done. (but i assure you, those stuff was will never done)
3. You feel that some parts of your body had suddenly become 'flabby'.
-eg. gradually you feel like your arms become 'bigger' as in there's a lot more unwanted flesh than before and when you wave the flesh at the arms will literally wave too!
-eg. your flat stomach is not so flat as before. And when you sit down, you can really see the bulge.
-eg. your thighs feels much much bigger.
-eg. you face becomes ROUNDER and you look chubby.
4. You are not as healthy as before.
-eg. you eat in huge servings and don't give a damn about it.
-eg. usually when you walk, there isn't really much weight to carry around so, you can just sashay around without worrying about anything. But this time round, parts of your body jiggle. Like when you walk quickly, your cheeks will 'bounce', your thighs will be like jelly(if ya know wad i mean..) and your butt. Some of you are blessed with flat butts but there are people who's butt will 'grow' quickly as they put on weight.
5. Your metabolism rate will slow down.
-this is the worst thing ever!
6. You'll plan out what you want to have for breakfast,lunch,tea-time & dinner tomorrow.
-which is kind of a bad thing as you tend to think of food ALL THE TIME.
7. You start eating other people's portion.
-your little brother's untouched MEE GORENG.
-your mum's unfinished chicken rice.
-your sister's unfinished double chocolate fudge cake.
-your dad's untouched pizza. (juz imagine all those fats and calories!!! oh my gawd!)
8. You tend to sleep late and wake up early.
-coz your intention is to have the 'planned' breakfast.
-eg. you had different types of dishes during breakfast.
eg. you can eat roti prata,mee rebus,porridge,pancakes and nasi lemak.(one after another!)
9. Encounter troubles while fitting into your clothes.
-eg. your t-shirts became tighter.
-eg. your baggy pants became your tight pants.
-your bulging tummy is so obvious!
10. You feel heavy.
-you really feel like sinking into the ground.
-or that gravity is really pulling you down hard.
How to lose weight?
1. You definitely have to increase your rate of metabolism.
-eat in moderation
-constrain yourself to only 2 meals a day. (breakfast & lunch)
-drink lots of PLAIN WATER. (i know all these sounds like Health education but it DOES work)
2. Occupy your time doing something useful.
3. Watch people eat and feel sorry for them.
-eg. 'juz look at her. Doesn't she know how much calories are there in those stuff? and juz look at her tummy. No way am i gonna eat that! I dun wanna look like her!'
4. Look up for recipe books for healthy recipes. ( i spent almost 2 hours looking through those books and my saliva almost dripped onto the books and my stomach was calling out for help! )
5. Maintain a healthy lifestyle for 2 weeks.
-there'll be a drastic change.
-you'll lose about 2-5kg.
-you'll feel better.
-your skin feels great.
-you'll be more energetic.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Confessions of an unfortunate gal
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I've had enough of you already... Itz bad enough that we're not together anymore... I juz don't understand why do you have to appear in my dreams every now and then???! Do you know how long it takes for me to forget u... Well actually...i never did. But because of recent events...i have to.. I have to learn to forget u completely.. I don't wanna be the third person in your relationship.. All these while...i've been confused about you...about our relationship... but now..itz clear...Crystal clear...that you've totally moved on... Although the way you break the news to me was hearbreaking... But.. yah.. i'll get to know about it sooner rite... so.. itz actually a good thing that you told me, in the most indirect way ever.. argh! i hate that moment! but..anywayz.. itz in the past rite now... I'm not in the dark anymore... i knew exactly wad to do..and i juz have to train myself how to feel about you now.. ya know what... better still... i dun wanna see you anymore... i dun wanna talk to you anymore... i dun wanna have anything to do with you anymore!!! My gawd! I think he got my cue when i started msging him...and calling him... so... i guess...that was why he decided to tell me about his gf... when in the first place...stupid me.. i didn't asked him... so.. itz juz my retribution... i'm bad... so..now..i'll juz suffer alone... alone..
I've had him once... once in my life... although a short one...but..only me... only i know what i actually felt at that point of time... Itz due to the unfortunate circumstances that i had to let him go...itz not by choice, really. Anywayz... let bygones be bygones...
New Year Resolutions?
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nah...no more... they're juz crap... juz words... they're nothing if you ndun do anything about it... so..i've decided to change 'resolutions' to... 'plan'... so...my plans for 2006... being that itz 2006...and that 6 is my favourite number... it should be a smooth year for me.. anywayz.. erm..2006... i shall get my butt in school once again... try to do more performances... and.. try not to get my heart broken again... hahah..how's dat...
till' we meet again..
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I've had enough of you already... Itz bad enough that we're not together anymore... I juz don't understand why do you have to appear in my dreams every now and then???! Do you know how long it takes for me to forget u... Well actually...i never did. But because of recent events...i have to.. I have to learn to forget u completely.. I don't wanna be the third person in your relationship.. All these while...i've been confused about you...about our relationship... but now..itz clear...Crystal clear...that you've totally moved on... Although the way you break the news to me was hearbreaking... But.. yah.. i'll get to know about it sooner rite... so.. itz actually a good thing that you told me, in the most indirect way ever.. argh! i hate that moment! but..anywayz.. itz in the past rite now... I'm not in the dark anymore... i knew exactly wad to do..and i juz have to train myself how to feel about you now.. ya know what... better still... i dun wanna see you anymore... i dun wanna talk to you anymore... i dun wanna have anything to do with you anymore!!! My gawd! I think he got my cue when i started msging him...and calling him... so... i guess...that was why he decided to tell me about his gf... when in the first place...stupid me.. i didn't asked him... so.. itz juz my retribution... i'm bad... so..now..i'll juz suffer alone... alone..
I've had him once... once in my life... although a short one...but..only me... only i know what i actually felt at that point of time... Itz due to the unfortunate circumstances that i had to let him go...itz not by choice, really. Anywayz... let bygones be bygones...
New Year Resolutions?
-----------------------
nah...no more... they're juz crap... juz words... they're nothing if you ndun do anything about it... so..i've decided to change 'resolutions' to... 'plan'... so...my plans for 2006... being that itz 2006...and that 6 is my favourite number... it should be a smooth year for me.. anywayz.. erm..2006... i shall get my butt in school once again... try to do more performances... and.. try not to get my heart broken again... hahah..how's dat...
till' we meet again..
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Finally... a LIVE PERFORMANCE by ME!!!!
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The Christmas celebration at my workplace was great... and the highlight of the event would have to be.. of course, my perfomance.. my solo performance... my first ever performance in front of an audience.. well, in secondary school, i did perform once on stage..but that was dancing... totally different from singing.. and itz been on my 'to-do-list' for a very, very long time... and...this was my chance...and it could be my one and only chance... to perfom in front of a crowd... Honestly... i didn't really practice my vocals... Itz juz that... every now and then i'll sing a song..and..that's it... And yesterday at the party, i sang my all time favourite song, 'Reflection' by Lea Salonga & adapted from Mulan... As I'm so familiar with the song, i was confident that i won't forget the lyrics... So...that morning, we had to work as usual...the celebration started only at 2pm... So...i actually had the whole office to myself for about 5 hours... and the radio was next to me.. with the microphone plugged in...So..i kept repeating the minus one over and over again.. i didn't really sang it outloud.. but i kinda hummed it.. I was worried that i couldn't reach the high notes... So, at that time, that was my only concern... Then at about noon... i was already getting the jitters.. Then one of my colleagues was done with her work... so..i actually told her to give me comments on my voice after i sang the whole song to her... i told her, "eh..u listen to me sing ah.. but...dun look at me.. juz do your own work.. and juz listen to my singing.." so..while she was sms-ing... i sang... i actually turned my seat around to the wall and sang it to her... My gawd...i have no idea why...but..i was bloody nervous!!! my voice was shaking terrbily... and my singing was horendous.. it was horrible.. and she commented that it was shaky...and that my nervousness really reflects on my voice... but at the end, she said that she liked my voice...itz juz that i was too nervous... After hearing that comment i was like...oh shit! That's my main problem that i've had since..erm..FOREVER?! I should have concentrated on how i could overcome my stage fright...but...it was too late... so anywayz... later at 2pm... everyone went to the 'tent'... which was..erm.. at the foyer.. and that it was sheltered with the white canvas tent shade thingy.. and there was a stage! a very..very cute stage... it was rather small..but..most definitely sufficient for me... ahaha..
So..everyone started scooping their food and all...sitting around...talking...and i juz sat there quietly eating... thinking...'gosh..i hope these ppl forgot about my performance'... ya know what.. since this morning...all the workers that i met were like..."eh...you gonna sing later rite..." haiz.. so.. yah... anywayz... the HR(human resource) lady..a very nice & petite lady came to me and said, "how fiza...ready onnot...???" And i was like..."err..ah..eh..wait ar..later lah..." Then immediately she kinda went to the stage and made an announcement, "attention everyone... we have this young lady, fiza... who aspires to be a singer one day... and she's gonna sing for us" ya know what...she actually planned to say "here's our next singapore idol" and i'm like..NO...DUN EVER SAY that... itz too far-fetched and also..i dun wanna disappoint those ppl and most importantly myself... so.. yah.. at first there was some probz with the cd...but...after a few secs..it was ok... then..when the told me to go up the steps...to go on stage... ah... that's when i realised... my gawd...!!! i'm really gonna sing in fornt of all these ppl(about 70 peeps) and my heart started beating so fast that if i'd put the mic to close to my chest...ppl might have thought i was running juz ran 10km or sumthin... and my hands started shaking... my legs began to feel wobbly... and on top of that... my voice was damn UNSTABLE... my gawd! terrible.. and that was it... i thought that was the end of me.. my stage fright totally overtook my voice... and there's no way i could fight back... i'm juz not strong enough... and moreover.. there was some probz with the mic... as in.. my voice was like.. disappearing every now and then... and there was a time when i actually shook my head in disappointment, coz... my voice kinda 'crack'... but... i guess it was saved by the high notes... i really didn't think i could reach the high notes...but..even with all those probz... i managed to do it... so.. overall... i think my performance was not what i'd expected... i really thought i could have done much better... and now..i know which area of my my perfomance that should be focused so that the next time... it'll be better... i was really disappointed with my performance.. then when i came down and went back to my seat... one of the bosses actually turned to me and said..." hey..that was good.." and i was like..." err..thanks" hayyah.. itz kinda irritating ya know... these ppl kept telling me that my voice was nice..and i did great...blah..blah... but..deep down.. i juz know that obviously these ppl were trying to support me and..ya..juz be nice.. so... so far... nobody has told me the TRUTH... yah.. i'm pretty sure on monday... i'm so gonna be teased by them...haiz...
get up-close and personal wif me... haiz.. am i really that..erm...chubby...?! or issit the camera.. ya know..i think itz true when they say that you look bigger on tv then in realy life...so..maybe..for me..i look bigger on camera than in real life...? hmm.... well.. maybe itz due to the heat..coz it was rather hot in their..and maybe...my face kinda ..erm..expand? ahaha... i dun know if itz juz me...but..i think... that's not me... i mean..i looked... DIFFERENT.. but then again its hard to judge ones self..so.. i let you guess decide and make your own judgement lah hor..
and ya know what... the moment i reached home... i started to vent all my frustrations and disappointments by singing... i sang my lungs out...and i look into the mirror and said..."see??? i can really sing!!! itz juz that i can't show it to other ppl..." so..anywayz...after feeling much better...i started to the same thing i do everytime i get home from elsewhere...which is... take pictures! so..here they are...
a clearer view of my attire..oh yah.. miraculously i can still fit into this skirt.. coz..i've not worned it for 2 years...and i really thought that i was way too 'big' to wear it..but maybe due to desperation, sumhow...i managed to fit into it... and the jacket... i actually bought it the night before...and it took me a few hours to actually find sumthin that i like...so..this jacket is the result of me and my bro walking around jp aimlessly...
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The Christmas celebration at my workplace was great... and the highlight of the event would have to be.. of course, my perfomance.. my solo performance... my first ever performance in front of an audience.. well, in secondary school, i did perform once on stage..but that was dancing... totally different from singing.. and itz been on my 'to-do-list' for a very, very long time... and...this was my chance...and it could be my one and only chance... to perfom in front of a crowd... Honestly... i didn't really practice my vocals... Itz juz that... every now and then i'll sing a song..and..that's it... And yesterday at the party, i sang my all time favourite song, 'Reflection' by Lea Salonga & adapted from Mulan... As I'm so familiar with the song, i was confident that i won't forget the lyrics... So...that morning, we had to work as usual...the celebration started only at 2pm... So...i actually had the whole office to myself for about 5 hours... and the radio was next to me.. with the microphone plugged in...So..i kept repeating the minus one over and over again.. i didn't really sang it outloud.. but i kinda hummed it.. I was worried that i couldn't reach the high notes... So, at that time, that was my only concern... Then at about noon... i was already getting the jitters.. Then one of my colleagues was done with her work... so..i actually told her to give me comments on my voice after i sang the whole song to her... i told her, "eh..u listen to me sing ah.. but...dun look at me.. juz do your own work.. and juz listen to my singing.." so..while she was sms-ing... i sang... i actually turned my seat around to the wall and sang it to her... My gawd...i have no idea why...but..i was bloody nervous!!! my voice was shaking terrbily... and my singing was horendous.. it was horrible.. and she commented that it was shaky...and that my nervousness really reflects on my voice... but at the end, she said that she liked my voice...itz juz that i was too nervous... After hearing that comment i was like...oh shit! That's my main problem that i've had since..erm..FOREVER?! I should have concentrated on how i could overcome my stage fright...but...it was too late... so anywayz... later at 2pm... everyone went to the 'tent'... which was..erm.. at the foyer.. and that it was sheltered with the white canvas tent shade thingy.. and there was a stage! a very..very cute stage... it was rather small..but..most definitely sufficient for me... ahaha..
So..everyone started scooping their food and all...sitting around...talking...and i juz sat there quietly eating... thinking...'gosh..i hope these ppl forgot about my performance'... ya know what.. since this morning...all the workers that i met were like..."eh...you gonna sing later rite..." haiz.. so.. yah... anywayz... the HR(human resource) lady..a very nice & petite lady came to me and said, "how fiza...ready onnot...???" And i was like..."err..ah..eh..wait ar..later lah..." Then immediately she kinda went to the stage and made an announcement, "attention everyone... we have this young lady, fiza... who aspires to be a singer one day... and she's gonna sing for us" ya know what...she actually planned to say "here's our next singapore idol" and i'm like..NO...DUN EVER SAY that... itz too far-fetched and also..i dun wanna disappoint those ppl and most importantly myself... so.. yah.. at first there was some probz with the cd...but...after a few secs..it was ok... then..when the told me to go up the steps...to go on stage... ah... that's when i realised... my gawd...!!! i'm really gonna sing in fornt of all these ppl(about 70 peeps) and my heart started beating so fast that if i'd put the mic to close to my chest...ppl might have thought i was running juz ran 10km or sumthin... and my hands started shaking... my legs began to feel wobbly... and on top of that... my voice was damn UNSTABLE... my gawd! terrible.. and that was it... i thought that was the end of me.. my stage fright totally overtook my voice... and there's no way i could fight back... i'm juz not strong enough... and moreover.. there was some probz with the mic... as in.. my voice was like.. disappearing every now and then... and there was a time when i actually shook my head in disappointment, coz... my voice kinda 'crack'... but... i guess it was saved by the high notes... i really didn't think i could reach the high notes...but..even with all those probz... i managed to do it... so.. overall... i think my performance was not what i'd expected... i really thought i could have done much better... and now..i know which area of my my perfomance that should be focused so that the next time... it'll be better... i was really disappointed with my performance.. then when i came down and went back to my seat... one of the bosses actually turned to me and said..." hey..that was good.." and i was like..." err..thanks" hayyah.. itz kinda irritating ya know... these ppl kept telling me that my voice was nice..and i did great...blah..blah... but..deep down.. i juz know that obviously these ppl were trying to support me and..ya..juz be nice.. so... so far... nobody has told me the TRUTH... yah.. i'm pretty sure on monday... i'm so gonna be teased by them...haiz...
Juz a few seconds before i began to sing... and i kept telling myself... dun freak out...dun ever freak out!!! try to be calm...breathe in breathe out...but...even this voices inside me couldn't outdo my stage fright...
The song finally started... and the ppl were clapping and cheering... and some guyz even whistled..and..they were so encouraging...i was overwhelmed with their response.. but..then again..i haven't even started singing.. so.. maybe when i start singing...they won't find their cheering and clapping worth it...?! haiz..sad huh... but...they were a bunch of great peeps... even when there's probz with my mic and voice...and everything that goes along with it, they still supported me... tanx guyz!
This is serious work.. at this point of time..i was really trying to get into the groove...and think of sumthin that would calm myself down.. but..hmm.. i juz couldn't find anyone or any event that was able to do that... weird huh... so.. yah...
get up-close and personal wif me... haiz.. am i really that..erm...chubby...?! or issit the camera.. ya know..i think itz true when they say that you look bigger on tv then in realy life...so..maybe..for me..i look bigger on camera than in real life...? hmm.... well.. maybe itz due to the heat..coz it was rather hot in their..and maybe...my face kinda ..erm..expand? ahaha... i dun know if itz juz me...but..i think... that's not me... i mean..i looked... DIFFERENT.. but then again its hard to judge ones self..so.. i let you guess decide and make your own judgement lah hor..
and ya know what... the moment i reached home... i started to vent all my frustrations and disappointments by singing... i sang my lungs out...and i look into the mirror and said..."see??? i can really sing!!! itz juz that i can't show it to other ppl..." so..anywayz...after feeling much better...i started to the same thing i do everytime i get home from elsewhere...which is... take pictures! so..here they are...
see...i'm not fat rite??? well..erm..at least not DAT fat lah... and i dun tink my face was as big as during my performance...
a clearer view of my attire..oh yah.. miraculously i can still fit into this skirt.. coz..i've not worned it for 2 years...and i really thought that i was way too 'big' to wear it..but maybe due to desperation, sumhow...i managed to fit into it... and the jacket... i actually bought it the night before...and it took me a few hours to actually find sumthin that i like...so..this jacket is the result of me and my bro walking around jp aimlessly...
i did say that i was left in the office alone for about 5 hours..rite...? so... yah...this is the result of it... 5 hours...sufficient for me to touch up on my make-up...then...yesh...foto-taking session... i juz luv diz pic... itz so... mysterious...dun u tink so..? sheesh..my blusher brush.. kinda look like..ermm.. nvm..i shan't say it..
okz..that's it about my christmas celebration...
The DaY he WeNt awAy...
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This morning...at about 4am... everyone in my family went to the airport to send off my brother... He's going to New York for a vacation... We reached the airport at about 4.45am... and..ya know what... the taxi fare was actually $30!!! damn a lot rite..??? and on top of that, given that my family is big(7 ppl), we had to take 2 taxis...and that means...the total amount spent on taxi ride is $60...!!!! my gawd... a close to $100 for taxi rides...sheesh!
Anywayz.. i was rather shocked when i see that there's a lotta ppl there... so.. upon arrival..my bro has to check in his bags and stuff... so..we waited for him for about half an hour...then...went off to get sumthin to eat.. my bro actually wanted to eact mcdonals hotcakes...but...it was at terminal 2... and we were at terminal one...so... all we found was burger king... and...the breakfast there...wasn't that...good... my bro didn't really eat his meal...coz he was telling us that he was afraid... afraid of the air tubulance or sumthin like dat... and for the past few days... my mom has been treating my bro like a 6 year old kid... REALLY! She'll be like..have you packed your toothbrush... how about your underopants... dun forget to bring the water bottle... in case you are thirsty... alah..ya know lah..dat kinda thing... and in my heart i was like...ma... he's already 20yrs old...i'm sure he knows how to take care of himself...
After taking a few pictures.. we walked with him to the departure place... he was in the middle of saying his goodbyez... and i kinda said, "oh gosh...i tink i'm gonna cry..." and the next thing i knew...my eyes were all teary and tears kept flowing down my cheeks profusely..itz unstoppable... it was a very emotional period of time for me... coz... i'm so close to my brother...and..to me... 2 weeks... a long time... so.. yah.. itz juz a natural thing lah.. i really didn't expect myself to cry.. and i definitely had no intentions to cry wadsoever...it juz happened...and i couldn't stop it... and my ma was like, "eh...why? u wanna follow ur bro ah?" and i'm like, hey..u dun no anything..so...plz dun spout nonsense ok... i mean..it has nuthin to do about me wanting to follow him onnot... itz about family bonding..i'm juz so close with my bro... i share with him all my probz... and when i'm in doubt with sumthin..i'll alwayz go to him... i hang out wif him a lot... my ma juz dun understand how i feel... haiz.. and itz sad in a way... so..yah.. ya know what...i actually wanna tell him, 'i'm gonna miss u...' but i'm all teary and i was at loss for words...i got tongue tied for a moment there..i couldn't speak..words juz wouldn't come out... even now.. i feel like tears are gonna flow down my cheeks anytime now... so..abang..if u are reading my blog..i juz wanna say...'i'm really gonna miss u a lot...!' and remember abang... what goes in the blog...stays in the blogs... some things are juz unspoken for...
after that.. my family...went to see the planes fly off...and.. a few minutes before his plane went off... he called me... to say he's going already... and i actually felt that he, too, was crying..coz..his voice was all shaky and soft.. so..yah.. it was really an emotional event... at least for me ah...
anywayz... recently... i met an old friend of mine..whom i've not seen for quite some time.. we started to treat each other like in the 'olden' dayz.. but..i'm juz so disappointed in him... coz..he kept sumthin from me...which i thought was very important to me... and he actually thought that it was nuthin. well..you are wrong! you shouldn;t have kept it from me... you should have told me rite form the begining... so now...i'm left with a broken heart all over again!!!! MEN! They juz dun understand us, women...!!!
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Finally...a live performance..!
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Sumhow...i manged to find my way to Orchard Point... It was kerazee!!! People..people and more people...!!! Well..the 'show' was at 3pm...but..the erm..'kiasu' me..came at 1pm.. but my main goal was juz to hear them sing live.. i dun really mind if i dun have any picture memory of them... Initially i had planned to find a good place to sit sumwhere near the stage...which i did! i sat there from 1pm to 2.15pm and drinking my RIBENA... so.... in that 1hr15min... i talked to opi..on the phone lah..she didn't accompany me... oh..forgot to say... I went to Orchard...ALONE!!! First time leh! A.L.O.N.E.... which was actually ok... So anywayz...at 2.15pm sharp.. the makciks-makciks and the gals..and kids..started to stand in front of me... So... from being able to see the stage clearly...all i saw was butts and heads... and can u imagine...everyone around me was standing and i was like...sitting down like a freakin' idiot.. with my RIBENA drink.. my gawd! So..in my head i was like..'should i stand up?or should i juz stay out and listen to their performance and try to imagine them...' But then when the host said.. 'in 5 mins time, we'll get to see our stars...' I immediately stood! because there's an increasing amount of people trying to push their butts in front of me...so...yah..i finally stood up! oh..and..did i tell u i was wearing heels?! hell yah...i was wearing HEELS!!! Coz i really needed all the height i can get...So.. a tip for the gals...if ur going to a mini concert...or watching any performances...wear HEELS! Even if you are tall..i suggest.. that u still wear heels... I can tell u... u'll definitely have a clearer picture... But.. i wanna tell u sumthin.. what's more painful than wearing heels??? Getting your foot stepped by heels!!! YAH!!! All those makciks-makciks lah...hayyoh... so eager to see their STAR... So..anywayz...as per normal..a day never goes away without any problems...and today is not an exception.. And it was the stupidest thing that could have happened... The thing was that.. these makciks in front of me was calling to KHAI.. to cometo our direction to take pics... which he willingly did... and he was there...right IN FRONT of me... DAMN CLEAR... and he was there for a freakin long time...posing...but THEN... my camera juz had to die on me!!! it FROZE!!! Juz as Khai was posing for ME! yesh, me... coz it was obvious that at one point of time he was looking at MOI camera... And i clicked the camera again..and again..and again... but nuthin happened!!! MY GAWD!!! I was like...What the F*** is going on here!!! wad d hell... argh!!! And as soon as khai turned his back to us...going back to the stage...suddenly my camera juz took a pic.. OF HIS BACK!!! argh!!! sickening mann!!! Seriously need to get a camera... a BETTER one... haiz.. But nonetheless..i did manage to get some pics of khai...but not so good lah..haiz.. So..my conclusion is... Khai is a great 'live' singer... Azmir is a good performer... Fauzie is a cute dude... and Khairil is simply...charming and..erm..his singing..not bad...not bad at all...
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Sumhow...i manged to find my way to Orchard Point... It was kerazee!!! People..people and more people...!!! Well..the 'show' was at 3pm...but..the erm..'kiasu' me..came at 1pm.. but my main goal was juz to hear them sing live.. i dun really mind if i dun have any picture memory of them... Initially i had planned to find a good place to sit sumwhere near the stage...which i did! i sat there from 1pm to 2.15pm and drinking my RIBENA... so.... in that 1hr15min... i talked to opi..on the phone lah..she didn't accompany me... oh..forgot to say... I went to Orchard...ALONE!!! First time leh! A.L.O.N.E.... which was actually ok... So anywayz...at 2.15pm sharp.. the makciks-makciks and the gals..and kids..started to stand in front of me... So... from being able to see the stage clearly...all i saw was butts and heads... and can u imagine...everyone around me was standing and i was like...sitting down like a freakin' idiot.. with my RIBENA drink.. my gawd! So..in my head i was like..'should i stand up?or should i juz stay out and listen to their performance and try to imagine them...' But then when the host said.. 'in 5 mins time, we'll get to see our stars...' I immediately stood! because there's an increasing amount of people trying to push their butts in front of me...so...yah..i finally stood up! oh..and..did i tell u i was wearing heels?! hell yah...i was wearing HEELS!!! Coz i really needed all the height i can get...So.. a tip for the gals...if ur going to a mini concert...or watching any performances...wear HEELS! Even if you are tall..i suggest.. that u still wear heels... I can tell u... u'll definitely have a clearer picture... But.. i wanna tell u sumthin.. what's more painful than wearing heels??? Getting your foot stepped by heels!!! YAH!!! All those makciks-makciks lah...hayyoh... so eager to see their STAR... So..anywayz...as per normal..a day never goes away without any problems...and today is not an exception.. And it was the stupidest thing that could have happened... The thing was that.. these makciks in front of me was calling to KHAI.. to cometo our direction to take pics... which he willingly did... and he was there...right IN FRONT of me... DAMN CLEAR... and he was there for a freakin long time...posing...but THEN... my camera juz had to die on me!!! it FROZE!!! Juz as Khai was posing for ME! yesh, me... coz it was obvious that at one point of time he was looking at MOI camera... And i clicked the camera again..and again..and again... but nuthin happened!!! MY GAWD!!! I was like...What the F*** is going on here!!! wad d hell... argh!!! And as soon as khai turned his back to us...going back to the stage...suddenly my camera juz took a pic.. OF HIS BACK!!! argh!!! sickening mann!!! Seriously need to get a camera... a BETTER one... haiz.. But nonetheless..i did manage to get some pics of khai...but not so good lah..haiz.. So..my conclusion is... Khai is a great 'live' singer... Azmir is a good performer... Fauzie is a cute dude... and Khairil is simply...charming and..erm..his singing..not bad...not bad at all...
First up...Fauzie Laily... This was my one and only pic of him...and it turned out great...!
Khairul Anuar here..the most difficult person to 'handle'... My gawd.. My camera shouldn't have froze at that time...that moment when he was smack right in front of me! I think this is the best pic of him... the rest were like...
this...
and this... sumthin on the right must be damn interesting...coz..they keep looking to the right...dun believe me? juz look at these...
see??? I didn't get the chance to see who they were looking at... oh well...
again... on the right... Dun tell me they saw a makcik trying to climb over the 'baracade' to get to them...??? Let me explain...
Khai started it all...he shouted the makcik.. cmon'...get over here..yeah.. then..
syed azmir came to the rescue...'makicik..dun come over ar...stay there...i'll come to u...'
Maybe that's what happened? But then again..itz all imagination... got that?! Juz my imagination...NONE OF IT IS TRUE!!!
Oh..i forgot about Khairil...
ah...here he is... Charming rite... He's a hot fav of all the makciks there... They kept screaming and shouting his name..
Personally...i thought that 70% of the shoutings were from the makciks-makciks...!
Overall..it was a great show! I think there was a glimpse of me..in tv...when they showed this performance thingy during BERITA... hehe..but not clear though.. nvm..i'll juz watch it again later at 11.30pm...
Sunday, December 04, 2005
mind ur OWN goddamn BUSINESS!!!
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It wouldn't have hapened if i'd stayed at home...It wouldn't have happened if i didn't go back that shop... ARGH!!!! My gawd...! I have no idea who you are... I have not offended you in any way... But... why do you have to do THAT to me...! You have no idea what you've done to me, do ya?! I suppose you don't even care to know the consequences... All you were keen about was to pass me that hurting,sarcastic,unforgiven & selfless REMARK!! Juz who the hell do you think you are to make me feel so small and so pathetic... I hate you... Can't you juz mind your OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS...!!! If you think you are doing me a favour by pointing out my flaws...well..you are WRONG..! You're actually doing harm to me... And i could even SUE you..! Coz you humiliated me..!!! FUCK OFF!!! ITZ NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.... and you have no right to comment me that way!!! Just you wait...the next time i see you... oh wait...i didn't even see your freaking face... and that's how fucking pissed i was... Eh..please lah... If you wanna comment on people's flaws... i suggest you look at yourself in the mirror first... I'm pretty sure that you're no better than me... In fact you're DAMN worse... got that?! You are WORSE THAN ME...!!!! ARGH!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!! Once again let me remind you people...i am a person who likes to live in denial... so..don't ever...go straight to my face at tell me what's wrong with me!! I hate that! I'm positive there's a whole lot of stuff going on with you...so..don't go around correcting other people.... all you're doing is hurting them...and leaving them.. self-conscious about themselves... so..THINK before you SPEAK!!! Itz MY PROBLEM if i'm deceiving myself... Itz MY PROBLEM if i dun wanna face the truth.... Who are you to tell me what to do or how to solve my problem... JUZ LEAVE ME ALONE!
ARGH.... i'm pretty much in a shitty state... Very depressed... I have no idea how the hell am i gonna face the outside world... Until now,i still can't accept critism.. and so in a way, i dun go around critising the others...so.. basically i'm balanced up.. but i have no idea how the person who goes around telling the others their flaws feel... do they feel bad? or do they juz can't be bothered what to feel....? coz their main focus is to tell others their flaws...and how to fix them..or how awful their flaw is... gosh...! I juz don't understand these people... I'm juz grateful that my family and close friends knows how i feel...so...they're totally aware that i'm a sensitive person..and..they're definitely pretty much careful with their words...
Mann... I feel like hibernating at home for the month to recuperate... i really do. I feel like a sick patient..who never gets better...partyly because i dun taker medication.EVER. And i always have the tendacy to let the illness heal by itself... i know it takes time...but...i'd rather be it that way than to swallow those pills...i know they're colouful and all...but still...i'm not attracted to them...NO WAY.
Time... all i need is time... and everything will go away.. all my problems solved...and..soon..i'll get my confidence back... only time will tell...
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It wouldn't have hapened if i'd stayed at home...It wouldn't have happened if i didn't go back that shop... ARGH!!!! My gawd...! I have no idea who you are... I have not offended you in any way... But... why do you have to do THAT to me...! You have no idea what you've done to me, do ya?! I suppose you don't even care to know the consequences... All you were keen about was to pass me that hurting,sarcastic,unforgiven & selfless REMARK!! Juz who the hell do you think you are to make me feel so small and so pathetic... I hate you... Can't you juz mind your OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS...!!! If you think you are doing me a favour by pointing out my flaws...well..you are WRONG..! You're actually doing harm to me... And i could even SUE you..! Coz you humiliated me..!!! FUCK OFF!!! ITZ NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.... and you have no right to comment me that way!!! Just you wait...the next time i see you... oh wait...i didn't even see your freaking face... and that's how fucking pissed i was... Eh..please lah... If you wanna comment on people's flaws... i suggest you look at yourself in the mirror first... I'm pretty sure that you're no better than me... In fact you're DAMN worse... got that?! You are WORSE THAN ME...!!!! ARGH!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!! Once again let me remind you people...i am a person who likes to live in denial... so..don't ever...go straight to my face at tell me what's wrong with me!! I hate that! I'm positive there's a whole lot of stuff going on with you...so..don't go around correcting other people.... all you're doing is hurting them...and leaving them.. self-conscious about themselves... so..THINK before you SPEAK!!! Itz MY PROBLEM if i'm deceiving myself... Itz MY PROBLEM if i dun wanna face the truth.... Who are you to tell me what to do or how to solve my problem... JUZ LEAVE ME ALONE!
ARGH.... i'm pretty much in a shitty state... Very depressed... I have no idea how the hell am i gonna face the outside world... Until now,i still can't accept critism.. and so in a way, i dun go around critising the others...so.. basically i'm balanced up.. but i have no idea how the person who goes around telling the others their flaws feel... do they feel bad? or do they juz can't be bothered what to feel....? coz their main focus is to tell others their flaws...and how to fix them..or how awful their flaw is... gosh...! I juz don't understand these people... I'm juz grateful that my family and close friends knows how i feel...so...they're totally aware that i'm a sensitive person..and..they're definitely pretty much careful with their words...
Mann... I feel like hibernating at home for the month to recuperate... i really do. I feel like a sick patient..who never gets better...partyly because i dun taker medication.EVER. And i always have the tendacy to let the illness heal by itself... i know it takes time...but...i'd rather be it that way than to swallow those pills...i know they're colouful and all...but still...i'm not attracted to them...NO WAY.
Time... all i need is time... and everything will go away.. all my problems solved...and..soon..i'll get my confidence back... only time will tell...
Friday, December 02, 2005
sliding through time
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What? Itz december already...my gosh... itz like 2005 has juz begun... who would have thought... itz gonna end already...haiz... what i can say is that...2005..juz isn't my year... and i guess maybe HE didn't want me to suffer.. so.. yah..HE made 2005 like a breeze... Itz so.. QUICK! THANK YOU GOD!
Anywayz... i'm working at ma old place...with my godfathers and sisters... hehe.. Work was ok.. But.. there has been some misunderstandings going around in the company.. And i feel so.. NOT WANTED... You see...my boss... kinda didn't tell the BIG BOSS... that i was coming...so..in a way...my boss employed me without letting the BIG BOSS know... geddit? So..yah...naturally..the BIG BOSS was pissed about it... So..whenever he sees me...he'll juz give me the cold shoulder and at the same time... shouting "who the hell invited u here?! colud u leave the company?!"(which of course, he didn't say out loud lah...) That's what i'd imagined him saying lah.. and.. ya know sumthin.. i was actually given the permission to use my boss's room... to use the computer... coz he's not in s'pore...and..there's no other computers...so..yah..his room is all mine! and..that's the scary part... I was all alone in his room..with his documents, files..sutff everywhere..so..yah.. SCARY! Anywayz...i was doing my report...then an 'ang moh' suddenly came into the room.. and both of us were like.."err...." he was shocked that i was there...and i was shocked coz he barged into the room... then he kinda looked irritated.. and walked away... then..one of my 'godfather' called out for me... so..i came out...and he was standing next to the angmoh guy...and my godfather asked me.."where is dat big sister of urs..." i said, "oh..she told me she went to see the boss..." and the ang moh guy looked TOTALLY PISSED and my godfather was like giggling and pointed his index finger to the angmog guy saying, "he's the boss." And in my mind i was like, "OH SHIT!!!" That was horrible..anywayz..that was the first time i saw the big boss...and subsequentlyafter that whenever i bumped into him..he'll juz give me that 'look'...and..i'll be like..looking down at the floor... too scared to look at him.. sheesh! imagine that! Not knowing your own boss!!! haiz...and everyone was making a joke about it...and i bet that BIG BOSS was like going around telling others...that i dun even know him and that i disrespected him or sumthin...haiz... And each time i passed any of the foreign staff there...i'llbe like.."should i know him?is he some manager or sumthin...should i acknowledge him..." ya know..things like that.. I'm kinda the confused teenage gal down there... and during lunch time..i'll be sitting around with my sisters... and most of the time..they'll be talking about their family...especially about their kids... about them falling of the bicycles... going out too often.. spending too much...they'll juz complain...complain about their kids...and i'm like..."hey..i totally understand why your kid did that..." ahaha.. but sometimes itz like...my gawd...plz talk about sumthin else...
So..yah.. been getting less sleep lately..all because of work lah...! so..tomorrow...gonna have my revenge...gonna sleep early and wake up late...really..really late! ya know what... whenever i wake up...i could only think of one thing... which is to... EAT.... eat..eat...and...yes...EAT!!! MY GAWD!!! Itz terrible i tell! Eventhough i'm not hungry at all... for all i know...i'm already feeding myself wif sumthin... and.. i can't stop... i'll juz keep putting sumthin into my mouth..until...either there's nuthin else to eat...or..that...i feel bloated...so..yah...horrible eating habits...itz been going on for a while now.. so..i reckon.. i've gained about...erm..10kg? and believe me..i am NOT exaggerating... it really looks like i've gained a lot of weight!!!! but the thing is...i'm too afraid to weigh myself...like i said..i like to live in denial...so..i juz assumed that..itz not a big thing..and dat,,maybe i gained only a kilo or 2....so...yah...haiz..TERRIBLE!!!
Lime bash party..is dat it? or..erm..sumthin like dat ar...itz on the 3rd & 4th dec... feel like going... feel like watching Khai perform...feel like watching all the other idols... hmm..how? damn lazy ar...haiz.. maybe i'll go.. on sunday... hayyah..dunno lah..
In the meantime..waiting for pay day.. which is like...erm..in 3 weeks' time.. haiz.. still a long way to go..
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What? Itz december already...my gosh... itz like 2005 has juz begun... who would have thought... itz gonna end already...haiz... what i can say is that...2005..juz isn't my year... and i guess maybe HE didn't want me to suffer.. so.. yah..HE made 2005 like a breeze... Itz so.. QUICK! THANK YOU GOD!
Anywayz... i'm working at ma old place...with my godfathers and sisters... hehe.. Work was ok.. But.. there has been some misunderstandings going around in the company.. And i feel so.. NOT WANTED... You see...my boss... kinda didn't tell the BIG BOSS... that i was coming...so..in a way...my boss employed me without letting the BIG BOSS know... geddit? So..yah...naturally..the BIG BOSS was pissed about it... So..whenever he sees me...he'll juz give me the cold shoulder and at the same time... shouting "who the hell invited u here?! colud u leave the company?!"(which of course, he didn't say out loud lah...) That's what i'd imagined him saying lah.. and.. ya know sumthin.. i was actually given the permission to use my boss's room... to use the computer... coz he's not in s'pore...and..there's no other computers...so..yah..his room is all mine! and..that's the scary part... I was all alone in his room..with his documents, files..sutff everywhere..so..yah.. SCARY! Anywayz...i was doing my report...then an 'ang moh' suddenly came into the room.. and both of us were like.."err...." he was shocked that i was there...and i was shocked coz he barged into the room... then he kinda looked irritated.. and walked away... then..one of my 'godfather' called out for me... so..i came out...and he was standing next to the angmoh guy...and my godfather asked me.."where is dat big sister of urs..." i said, "oh..she told me she went to see the boss..." and the ang moh guy looked TOTALLY PISSED and my godfather was like giggling and pointed his index finger to the angmog guy saying, "he's the boss." And in my mind i was like, "OH SHIT!!!" That was horrible..anywayz..that was the first time i saw the big boss...and subsequentlyafter that whenever i bumped into him..he'll juz give me that 'look'...and..i'll be like..looking down at the floor... too scared to look at him.. sheesh! imagine that! Not knowing your own boss!!! haiz...and everyone was making a joke about it...and i bet that BIG BOSS was like going around telling others...that i dun even know him and that i disrespected him or sumthin...haiz... And each time i passed any of the foreign staff there...i'llbe like.."should i know him?is he some manager or sumthin...should i acknowledge him..." ya know..things like that.. I'm kinda the confused teenage gal down there... and during lunch time..i'll be sitting around with my sisters... and most of the time..they'll be talking about their family...especially about their kids... about them falling of the bicycles... going out too often.. spending too much...they'll juz complain...complain about their kids...and i'm like..."hey..i totally understand why your kid did that..." ahaha.. but sometimes itz like...my gawd...plz talk about sumthin else...
So..yah.. been getting less sleep lately..all because of work lah...! so..tomorrow...gonna have my revenge...gonna sleep early and wake up late...really..really late! ya know what... whenever i wake up...i could only think of one thing... which is to... EAT.... eat..eat...and...yes...EAT!!! MY GAWD!!! Itz terrible i tell! Eventhough i'm not hungry at all... for all i know...i'm already feeding myself wif sumthin... and.. i can't stop... i'll juz keep putting sumthin into my mouth..until...either there's nuthin else to eat...or..that...i feel bloated...so..yah...horrible eating habits...itz been going on for a while now.. so..i reckon.. i've gained about...erm..10kg? and believe me..i am NOT exaggerating... it really looks like i've gained a lot of weight!!!! but the thing is...i'm too afraid to weigh myself...like i said..i like to live in denial...so..i juz assumed that..itz not a big thing..and dat,,maybe i gained only a kilo or 2....so...yah...haiz..TERRIBLE!!!
Lime bash party..is dat it? or..erm..sumthin like dat ar...itz on the 3rd & 4th dec... feel like going... feel like watching Khai perform...feel like watching all the other idols... hmm..how? damn lazy ar...haiz.. maybe i'll go.. on sunday... hayyah..dunno lah..
In the meantime..waiting for pay day.. which is like...erm..in 3 weeks' time.. haiz.. still a long way to go..
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Wad a BuMmEr...!
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Haiz...the most anticipating event of the year...well..erm..maybe not... but anywayz...itz an event that most peeps were eager to see... but..after all that commotion and excitement... i found out...it wasn't to my expectation...it was bad... it was kinda a letdown.. especially..khai's performance...i really think he could have done better... i juz know that...what he presented tonight...wasn't his best performance... and that's a fact! I think itz the songs lah... it MUST be... haiz... itz...so called his first/last chance...to create a first impression... for our neighbouring country... and..erm..i think...he blew his chance away... That first song that he did... i think it was 'inikah cinta'...juz...ain't for him.. he doesn't sound right... and i thought his solo piece would do him justice...but..it was juz as bad... maybe he was nervous? then...he appeared as a trio...along with hazrul and azmir.. haiz... such a disappointment...he simply didn't STAND-OUT! which..is what...he'd normally do... what d heck is going on???! and..at times..his voice... couldn't be heard...and.. the finale..was..erm.. kinda a mess...a HUGE mess... some of the artists voices couldn't be heard... something must be very wrong with the sound system... argh... so...yah...i didn't enjoy the show... haiz... khairul...do better next time..alritez!
anywayz... exams are over... felt relieved... so now...no matter what happens... the books...are a gonner... i never wanna see those books again...! NEVER! so..i think my study table is gonna be cleared by..erm.. soon..very soon!
Work...work...work...gonna start work next week...at my old workplace... ya know...itz a nice feeling...to secure a job...long before every else does... i bet...this period of time... all those peeps..are wondering around in groups at town...and shopping malls...hunting for jobs...so..yah..kinda glad..that i'm not in the group...but..still...i do follow my frenz around to look jobs for them... speaking of jobs... a few days ago...my company offered a permanent...let me repeat...PERMANENT position... and i was speecheless... REALLY! i didn't know what to say... then in my utter shock reaction i kinda said, "erm..permanent as in..working there...FOREVER?!" and she was like..."ahaha..yes..of course" ya know what... in the begining after regaining my thoughts... i asked,"erm..for permanent...can i like..come only on Saturdays?" thinking that...even when school starts...i'd still be able to earn money... then she replied..."no my dearie...you can't...you have to work 5 days a week..." And immediately...i rejected the offer... but she did try to pursuade me to agree... but...nopez..no way am i gonna work..as in..starting my career as of now... i'm juz too young..and...STILL not mentally prepared! And after i hung up the phone...i decided to tell my mum about it..(which i regretted very much!) Then my mum was like, "hayyah...why you never accept... itz very good what...permanent..ur future is already secured...then got monthly income..." haiz..i wasn't surprised with my mum's reaction...i knew she'd say sumthin like dat... but still...i was hurt and felt sort of demoralised when she gave that comment...and i told her,"ma...Itz permanent!!! and moreover i wanna continue my studies...REMEMBER?! If i'd wanted to start my career...i wouldn't have taken my exams AGAIN!" and..my mum's facial expression totally changed...and she was like..."oh...u wanna skool huh... wadeva lah...." omg! after that we didn't talk to each other for a while.. sheesh...! mums these days huh... my gawd... wonder what they've planned for us... I guess... she thought...having one of her children to have higher studies is already enough..so..that means..having a brother, whose qualified to the UNI...make me..someone useless...someone who should juz stop thinking of wasting money to further her studies...and...should juz start her career to help her family... ARGH!!! mann...that sux! Seriously speaking, no one else in my family supported my decision in taking my exams again.. besides my brother... If not for him... i guess i'll be all alone...A.L.O.N.E!
Haiz...someone better banned me from the kitchen....! it seems that i've been visiting the kitchen and opening the cupboards...frequently nowadays...and itz damn scary... i really wonder how much i weigh now...but then again.. maybe not... juz estimating would be enough...ahaa.. if u still haven't know...i'm someone who likes to live in denial...so..yah..that's me!
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Haiz...the most anticipating event of the year...well..erm..maybe not... but anywayz...itz an event that most peeps were eager to see... but..after all that commotion and excitement... i found out...it wasn't to my expectation...it was bad... it was kinda a letdown.. especially..khai's performance...i really think he could have done better... i juz know that...what he presented tonight...wasn't his best performance... and that's a fact! I think itz the songs lah... it MUST be... haiz... itz...so called his first/last chance...to create a first impression... for our neighbouring country... and..erm..i think...he blew his chance away... That first song that he did... i think it was 'inikah cinta'...juz...ain't for him.. he doesn't sound right... and i thought his solo piece would do him justice...but..it was juz as bad... maybe he was nervous? then...he appeared as a trio...along with hazrul and azmir.. haiz... such a disappointment...he simply didn't STAND-OUT! which..is what...he'd normally do... what d heck is going on???! and..at times..his voice... couldn't be heard...and.. the finale..was..erm.. kinda a mess...a HUGE mess... some of the artists voices couldn't be heard... something must be very wrong with the sound system... argh... so...yah...i didn't enjoy the show... haiz... khairul...do better next time..alritez!
anywayz... exams are over... felt relieved... so now...no matter what happens... the books...are a gonner... i never wanna see those books again...! NEVER! so..i think my study table is gonna be cleared by..erm.. soon..very soon!
Work...work...work...gonna start work next week...at my old workplace... ya know...itz a nice feeling...to secure a job...long before every else does... i bet...this period of time... all those peeps..are wondering around in groups at town...and shopping malls...hunting for jobs...so..yah..kinda glad..that i'm not in the group...but..still...i do follow my frenz around to look jobs for them... speaking of jobs... a few days ago...my company offered a permanent...let me repeat...PERMANENT position... and i was speecheless... REALLY! i didn't know what to say... then in my utter shock reaction i kinda said, "erm..permanent as in..working there...FOREVER?!" and she was like..."ahaha..yes..of course" ya know what... in the begining after regaining my thoughts... i asked,"erm..for permanent...can i like..come only on Saturdays?" thinking that...even when school starts...i'd still be able to earn money... then she replied..."no my dearie...you can't...you have to work 5 days a week..." And immediately...i rejected the offer... but she did try to pursuade me to agree... but...nopez..no way am i gonna work..as in..starting my career as of now... i'm juz too young..and...STILL not mentally prepared! And after i hung up the phone...i decided to tell my mum about it..(which i regretted very much!) Then my mum was like, "hayyah...why you never accept... itz very good what...permanent..ur future is already secured...then got monthly income..." haiz..i wasn't surprised with my mum's reaction...i knew she'd say sumthin like dat... but still...i was hurt and felt sort of demoralised when she gave that comment...and i told her,"ma...Itz permanent!!! and moreover i wanna continue my studies...REMEMBER?! If i'd wanted to start my career...i wouldn't have taken my exams AGAIN!" and..my mum's facial expression totally changed...and she was like..."oh...u wanna skool huh... wadeva lah...." omg! after that we didn't talk to each other for a while.. sheesh...! mums these days huh... my gawd... wonder what they've planned for us... I guess... she thought...having one of her children to have higher studies is already enough..so..that means..having a brother, whose qualified to the UNI...make me..someone useless...someone who should juz stop thinking of wasting money to further her studies...and...should juz start her career to help her family... ARGH!!! mann...that sux! Seriously speaking, no one else in my family supported my decision in taking my exams again.. besides my brother... If not for him... i guess i'll be all alone...A.L.O.N.E!
Haiz...someone better banned me from the kitchen....! it seems that i've been visiting the kitchen and opening the cupboards...frequently nowadays...and itz damn scary... i really wonder how much i weigh now...but then again.. maybe not... juz estimating would be enough...ahaa.. if u still haven't know...i'm someone who likes to live in denial...so..yah..that's me!
Sunday, November 20, 2005
SI coming soon!!! yipee!
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Yesterday was a feet-aching experience... went to beraye wif my sec school frenz... other than our feet screaming for help...it was a blast! went out at 11am...and..reached home at about 11pm... cool huh... anywayz...i must say...the highlight of the event...would have to be...erm...when we ran into the mrt...which was already there...and that the doors were already opened when we reached the plattform...it was scary..... we ran all the way from the station and up to the plattform...it was nervewrecking...and..i a almost didn't enter the mrt...coz..i was damn frightened...! damn scared that the doors would close...and that my scarf of baju kurung would be stuck...or worst still, me, getting crushed by the doors...well u see...i've already got a phobia with doors...especially the bus doors or rather a public transports... so..yah...it happened when i was about 7 years old...i was really late for my night tuition... so....when the bus came...and it was full... my bro was already on the bus... as i was small... i kinda got pushed to the back..and..tried to suqeeze into the bus which i eventually did...! but then...i kinda felt like i was pulled back..but the thing was that i was right at the door...as in...i was standing by the door...so...there's no way... somebody could have pulled or pushed my bag...so..i juz ignored it lah...then...at one stop, where most of the people got down...and..that's the time when everyone moved to the back of the bus...so..there i was...trying to pull myself up...and tried to move...but i couldn't....so...i juz stood there...about to cry... and everyone was like staring at me saying,"wad is that little girl doing not moving...is she stuck to the door or sumthin?" some ppl even started giggling...i was damn 'malu' ... so..the driver kinda guessed what was wrong with me... and..he opened the door...and...yupz...i was FREE!!! ya know what... my bag...which had...a erm..teddy bear shape...and...the head...was stucked at the door! all the way...from my bus stop to my school!!! so..i guess...all the pedestrians and the civilians...saw my teddy bear's head!!! omg!!! anywayz...that incident happened like..11 years ago..so...yah...itz all in the memories!!!
oh... Singapore idol's cumin to town!!! yeah baby!!! wohoo...!! so exciting... can't wait...wonder who's gonna be the next idol...male or female...hehehe...maybe it should follow project superstar's format...one female and one male... but..hmm..not very fair huh...hayyah..wadeva lah...i juz can't wait for the show to start...but..it sure would be great if i could be part of it...if ya know wad i mean!!! hehehe...
okz...gonna sleep...
so..yah... me frenz...at me house...ahaha..diz is d only picture i have...coz...i was too lazy to bring the camera... and..yah..roul if u'd have come a little earlier...u'd be in diz pic too!!! next time lah hor.. ahha..
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Yesterday was a feet-aching experience... went to beraye wif my sec school frenz... other than our feet screaming for help...it was a blast! went out at 11am...and..reached home at about 11pm... cool huh... anywayz...i must say...the highlight of the event...would have to be...erm...when we ran into the mrt...which was already there...and that the doors were already opened when we reached the plattform...it was scary..... we ran all the way from the station and up to the plattform...it was nervewrecking...and..i a almost didn't enter the mrt...coz..i was damn frightened...! damn scared that the doors would close...and that my scarf of baju kurung would be stuck...or worst still, me, getting crushed by the doors...well u see...i've already got a phobia with doors...especially the bus doors or rather a public transports... so..yah...it happened when i was about 7 years old...i was really late for my night tuition... so....when the bus came...and it was full... my bro was already on the bus... as i was small... i kinda got pushed to the back..and..tried to suqeeze into the bus which i eventually did...! but then...i kinda felt like i was pulled back..but the thing was that i was right at the door...as in...i was standing by the door...so...there's no way... somebody could have pulled or pushed my bag...so..i juz ignored it lah...then...at one stop, where most of the people got down...and..that's the time when everyone moved to the back of the bus...so..there i was...trying to pull myself up...and tried to move...but i couldn't....so...i juz stood there...about to cry... and everyone was like staring at me saying,"wad is that little girl doing not moving...is she stuck to the door or sumthin?" some ppl even started giggling...i was damn 'malu' ... so..the driver kinda guessed what was wrong with me... and..he opened the door...and...yupz...i was FREE!!! ya know what... my bag...which had...a erm..teddy bear shape...and...the head...was stucked at the door! all the way...from my bus stop to my school!!! so..i guess...all the pedestrians and the civilians...saw my teddy bear's head!!! omg!!! anywayz...that incident happened like..11 years ago..so...yah...itz all in the memories!!!
oh... Singapore idol's cumin to town!!! yeah baby!!! wohoo...!! so exciting... can't wait...wonder who's gonna be the next idol...male or female...hehehe...maybe it should follow project superstar's format...one female and one male... but..hmm..not very fair huh...hayyah..wadeva lah...i juz can't wait for the show to start...but..it sure would be great if i could be part of it...if ya know wad i mean!!! hehehe...
okz...gonna sleep...
so..yah... me frenz...at me house...ahaha..diz is d only picture i have...coz...i was too lazy to bring the camera... and..yah..roul if u'd have come a little earlier...u'd be in diz pic too!!! next time lah hor.. ahha..
Monday, November 14, 2005
Series of unfortunate events...in one MORNING!
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Oh my gawd!!! What a morning! Today i had Literature paper 2... Amazingly, i was the first one to arrive... and i even thought i was in the wrong examination room... But nonetheless...i stayed in that room until the others were there... And when the invigilator came to take attendence... apparently i was in the wrong seat, so..i had to move. That's one the unfortunate events that happened... And...like last week, everyone finished the paper like,30 mins before the whole examintion time ended...and well...usually they were allowed to be dismissed...but...this time round,the invigilator did not give them permission to go... so.. yah...they all had to stay there with me! While i was writing off my last sentences...i was cut off when the invigilator said, "ok..time's up" i'm like...wtf! okz..nvm about that... as they all had finished their paper earlier...so..they already tied their papers together...while me,on the other hand...still figuring out which page goes first...and in my 'kanchong'ness... i tied wrongly...(second unforunate event)The pages were in the wrong order...and i was like SHIT! And i was telling the invigilator whether she had a scissors...to cut the string lah... and ya know what...she's as kanchong as me.. she's also like...omg!!! how? how??? i dun have scissors leh...! and she kinda tried to untie the not, but unfortunately...my magic fingers...kinda made the not permanent...coz..yah...i was afraid that my beloved literature paper were to be seperated somehow...so..i tied them exremely tight together...oh shucks...i knew sumthin like this would happen! So...anywayz... while both of us were panicking... guess who walked in to the room???(THIRD UNFORTUNATE EVENT) omg...u wouldn't believe who it was...it definitely shocked the heck out of me... it was..erm...i can't really say the name... but i suppose...i could describe him... he was my sec 2 CME and form teacher... and erm..i tink he was also my sec 4 CME teacher...if i'm not wrong lah... His surname...is..erm... hayyah...nvm about his namelah... bottom line is...i thought i'd never ever see him again...but...omg!!! he juz had to enter and make things worst...that couldn't be the better time for him to enter the class...i bet he was laughing his head off when he saw me... my gawd! You should have seen the look on his face!!! ARGH! I hate him! Ya know what...i was actually the monitress in sec 2... then...one fine day,during CME lesson... i was kinda in a bad mood... so..when he asked me a question...i was like..'eh..cher i dunno ar'...then...miraculously... the day after was PTI(parent-teacher-interaction) and...when it was my turn... my mum sat next to me...and...he told my mum,"you know,fiza is very rude. When i ask her question, she never answer" and i was like...wtf! Juz because of that one pathetic, stupid unanswered question, u dare to 'chop' me as a 'VERY RUDE GIRL'?!!! my gawd...those were the days mann...! my sec 2 classmates should understand what i was talking about...
What a morning! Sheesh!
Okz...so....left with 2 more papers....History and Science paper 1...!!!! Can start working, soon...not that i'm very excited about that...but...yah...no choice...i wouldn't wanna look 10 kg fatter when i start school later on...my gawd...i dun wanna even imagine how i might look like! EEEEUUUU!!!
Help...need to throw away at least 5 kg of the fats somewhere...anywhere!!!! anybody need any fats to balance up your weight???!!! ahaha... okok...i'm going nutty already... gonna find a way...to lead a healthy lifestyle..ahah...yah...rite!
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Oh my gawd!!! What a morning! Today i had Literature paper 2... Amazingly, i was the first one to arrive... and i even thought i was in the wrong examination room... But nonetheless...i stayed in that room until the others were there... And when the invigilator came to take attendence... apparently i was in the wrong seat, so..i had to move. That's one the unfortunate events that happened... And...like last week, everyone finished the paper like,30 mins before the whole examintion time ended...and well...usually they were allowed to be dismissed...but...this time round,the invigilator did not give them permission to go... so.. yah...they all had to stay there with me! While i was writing off my last sentences...i was cut off when the invigilator said, "ok..time's up" i'm like...wtf! okz..nvm about that... as they all had finished their paper earlier...so..they already tied their papers together...while me,on the other hand...still figuring out which page goes first...and in my 'kanchong'ness... i tied wrongly...(second unforunate event)The pages were in the wrong order...and i was like SHIT! And i was telling the invigilator whether she had a scissors...to cut the string lah... and ya know what...she's as kanchong as me.. she's also like...omg!!! how? how??? i dun have scissors leh...! and she kinda tried to untie the not, but unfortunately...my magic fingers...kinda made the not permanent...coz..yah...i was afraid that my beloved literature paper were to be seperated somehow...so..i tied them exremely tight together...oh shucks...i knew sumthin like this would happen! So...anywayz... while both of us were panicking... guess who walked in to the room???(THIRD UNFORTUNATE EVENT) omg...u wouldn't believe who it was...it definitely shocked the heck out of me... it was..erm...i can't really say the name... but i suppose...i could describe him... he was my sec 2 CME and form teacher... and erm..i tink he was also my sec 4 CME teacher...if i'm not wrong lah... His surname...is..erm... hayyah...nvm about his namelah... bottom line is...i thought i'd never ever see him again...but...omg!!! he juz had to enter and make things worst...that couldn't be the better time for him to enter the class...i bet he was laughing his head off when he saw me... my gawd! You should have seen the look on his face!!! ARGH! I hate him! Ya know what...i was actually the monitress in sec 2... then...one fine day,during CME lesson... i was kinda in a bad mood... so..when he asked me a question...i was like..'eh..cher i dunno ar'...then...miraculously... the day after was PTI(parent-teacher-interaction) and...when it was my turn... my mum sat next to me...and...he told my mum,"you know,fiza is very rude. When i ask her question, she never answer" and i was like...wtf! Juz because of that one pathetic, stupid unanswered question, u dare to 'chop' me as a 'VERY RUDE GIRL'?!!! my gawd...those were the days mann...! my sec 2 classmates should understand what i was talking about...
What a morning! Sheesh!
Okz...so....left with 2 more papers....History and Science paper 1...!!!! Can start working, soon...not that i'm very excited about that...but...yah...no choice...i wouldn't wanna look 10 kg fatter when i start school later on...my gawd...i dun wanna even imagine how i might look like! EEEEUUUU!!!
Help...need to throw away at least 5 kg of the fats somewhere...anywhere!!!! anybody need any fats to balance up your weight???!!! ahaha... okok...i'm going nutty already... gonna find a way...to lead a healthy lifestyle..ahah...yah...rite!
Thursday, November 10, 2005
UttErLY...PiSseD!!!!
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OMG!!! TWICE!!! Why do i have to lose it twice...!!!Why issit alwayz me??? I lost my handphone...again...! Argh!!! Well..not really MY handphone...but my sim card was in it...! The first i lost it..was..about 2 years ago.. and..i found it a few weeks later in my father's shoe!!! My youngest brother had sort of played hide & seek with my handphone...so..anywayz... i was lucky to have found it again... But now...i don't think i'd ever find it... coz.. i don't even think itz lying around somewhere in my house...somebody...juz...SOMEBODY...might have taken it out... Ya know...this afternoon...while i was cleaning the house... the handphone was still at the cupboard...where it should be... And then...just now...at about 7pm... it wasn't there anymore... I've asked every single soul in the house if they've seen it... but...none of them has... I was like...WTF! it must be THEM! But let me tell you first...i really...really...dun want to accuse anyone of taking it...but after thinking about it...that was the only possible reason....it was THEM! I really..really felt bad about accusing them...so..ok..this was what happened... this afternoon...at about 6pm... Then there was these 3 kids... youngest was primary 2 and oldest was...probably sec 1.... so..yah...they wanted to 'beraye' at my house.. so..my mum brought them in... at first i was doing my maths in the living room... so...they came at sat at the sofa...which was next to the cupboard where the hanphone was..
so...anywayz...i went to my room...and i think my mum was in the living room lah... Then..i came out my my room to go to the toilet...at that time my mum was in the kitchen...so..erm..yah...nobody was in the living room...
Anywayz... when i went out of the toilet...my mum was already giving them green packets as they were about to go home... So...yah... somehow... something triggered me to check on my handphone later on...and...haiz...it wasn't there!!!So...it couldn't have been my primary 2 bro...coz...he was in front of the computer all day long...and it couldn't be my youngest brother...coz...he doesn't know how to 'operate' the new handphone that i was using...so...he wouldn't dare play with it...So..yah...couldn't be my mum too... haiz... so...WHERE THE HECK ISSIT?????!!! omg!!! so damn pissed!!! All the numbers are in there!!! WTF!!!haiz...diz is so depressing...and...irritating...those ungrateful brats!(if, they were the one who did it) Omg... haiz.. i shan't think about it anymore...gotta move on... and...yah..gotta go and do my maths now...hopefully i can find my handphone...anywayz...those guyz who wants to contact me...juz call my home.. if u dun have my number...juz ask me through msn okz!
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OMG!!! TWICE!!! Why do i have to lose it twice...!!!Why issit alwayz me??? I lost my handphone...again...! Argh!!! Well..not really MY handphone...but my sim card was in it...! The first i lost it..was..about 2 years ago.. and..i found it a few weeks later in my father's shoe!!! My youngest brother had sort of played hide & seek with my handphone...so..anywayz... i was lucky to have found it again... But now...i don't think i'd ever find it... coz.. i don't even think itz lying around somewhere in my house...somebody...juz...SOMEBODY...might have taken it out... Ya know...this afternoon...while i was cleaning the house... the handphone was still at the cupboard...where it should be... And then...just now...at about 7pm... it wasn't there anymore... I've asked every single soul in the house if they've seen it... but...none of them has... I was like...WTF! it must be THEM! But let me tell you first...i really...really...dun want to accuse anyone of taking it...but after thinking about it...that was the only possible reason....it was THEM! I really..really felt bad about accusing them...so..ok..this was what happened... this afternoon...at about 6pm... Then there was these 3 kids... youngest was primary 2 and oldest was...probably sec 1.... so..yah...they wanted to 'beraye' at my house.. so..my mum brought them in... at first i was doing my maths in the living room... so...they came at sat at the sofa...which was next to the cupboard where the hanphone was..
so...anywayz...i went to my room...and i think my mum was in the living room lah... Then..i came out my my room to go to the toilet...at that time my mum was in the kitchen...so..erm..yah...nobody was in the living room...
Anywayz... when i went out of the toilet...my mum was already giving them green packets as they were about to go home... So...yah... somehow... something triggered me to check on my handphone later on...and...haiz...it wasn't there!!!So...it couldn't have been my primary 2 bro...coz...he was in front of the computer all day long...and it couldn't be my youngest brother...coz...he doesn't know how to 'operate' the new handphone that i was using...so...he wouldn't dare play with it...So..yah...couldn't be my mum too... haiz... so...WHERE THE HECK ISSIT?????!!! omg!!! so damn pissed!!! All the numbers are in there!!! WTF!!!haiz...diz is so depressing...and...irritating...those ungrateful brats!(if, they were the one who did it) Omg... haiz.. i shan't think about it anymore...gotta move on... and...yah..gotta go and do my maths now...hopefully i can find my handphone...anywayz...those guyz who wants to contact me...juz call my home.. if u dun have my number...juz ask me through msn okz!
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
You say it best...when u say nuthin' at all...
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Shouldn't have made all those comments on my exams and stuff... haiz.. Darn it... i'm pretty sure it'll be damn awful if i were to do badly...coz...here i am... blabbering about how well i did for the paper but yet the outcome doesn't seem to support it...so..i juz have to shut up den. No more comments on the exams whatsoever...SsssHhhh...!
Oh my god... i'm falling in luv...itz so nice... referring to Jay Chou's songs from his latest album... 'November Chopin'... My fav would have to be 'Yi Lu Xiang Bei'-all the way north..it was from his movie, Initial D...so..yah.. I luv all the songs from his albums...coz...all are Ballads! No noisy or rap stuff... well..there are a few but not much ar...
hou shi jing li de shi jie yue lai yue yuan de dao bie
The world from the rear view mirror becomes further and further away as if saying goodbye
ni zhuan shen xiang bei che lian hai shi hen mei
You turn around but your side profile is still very beautiful
wo yong yan guang qu zui jing ting jian ni de lei
I use my eyes to pursue you, yet I hear your tears
zai che chuang wai mian pai hui shi wo cuo shi de ji hui
Outside the car window is my missed opportunity
ni zhan de fang wei gen wo zhong jian ge zhe lei
Your position and mine is separated by tears
jie jing yi zhi zai hou tui ni de beng kui zai chuang wai ling sui
The street views are continuously receding, you start to fragment outside the window
*Chorus
wo yi lu xiang bei li kai you ni de ji jie
I head towards the north to leave the season which describes you
ni shuo ni hao lei yi wu fa zai ai shang shui
You said you already tired and cannot fall in love with anybody again
feng zai shan lu chui guo wang de hua mian quan dou shi wo bu dui
The wind is blowing on the mountain road, all of our previous memories were my wrongdoings
xi su can kui wo shang ni ji hui
Counting my shamefulness, I have hurt you too many instances
wo yi lu xiang bei li kai you ni de ji jie
I head towards the north to leave the season which describes you
fang xiang pan zhou wei hui zhuan zhe wo de hou hui
Around the steering wheel rotates my feelings of regret
wo jia sui chao yue que shuai bu diao jing jing gen shui de shang bei
I accelerate to escape the lingering sadness
xi shu can kui wo shang ni ji hui
Counting my shamefulness, I have hurt you too many instances
ting zhi lang bei jiu rang cuo chun cui
Stop the anguish by letting my wrongdoings
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Shouldn't have made all those comments on my exams and stuff... haiz.. Darn it... i'm pretty sure it'll be damn awful if i were to do badly...coz...here i am... blabbering about how well i did for the paper but yet the outcome doesn't seem to support it...so..i juz have to shut up den. No more comments on the exams whatsoever...SsssHhhh...!
Oh my god... i'm falling in luv...itz so nice... referring to Jay Chou's songs from his latest album... 'November Chopin'... My fav would have to be 'Yi Lu Xiang Bei'-all the way north..it was from his movie, Initial D...so..yah.. I luv all the songs from his albums...coz...all are Ballads! No noisy or rap stuff... well..there are a few but not much ar...
hou shi jing li de shi jie yue lai yue yuan de dao bie
The world from the rear view mirror becomes further and further away as if saying goodbye
ni zhuan shen xiang bei che lian hai shi hen mei
You turn around but your side profile is still very beautiful
wo yong yan guang qu zui jing ting jian ni de lei
I use my eyes to pursue you, yet I hear your tears
zai che chuang wai mian pai hui shi wo cuo shi de ji hui
Outside the car window is my missed opportunity
ni zhan de fang wei gen wo zhong jian ge zhe lei
Your position and mine is separated by tears
jie jing yi zhi zai hou tui ni de beng kui zai chuang wai ling sui
The street views are continuously receding, you start to fragment outside the window
*Chorus
wo yi lu xiang bei li kai you ni de ji jie
I head towards the north to leave the season which describes you
ni shuo ni hao lei yi wu fa zai ai shang shui
You said you already tired and cannot fall in love with anybody again
feng zai shan lu chui guo wang de hua mian quan dou shi wo bu dui
The wind is blowing on the mountain road, all of our previous memories were my wrongdoings
xi su can kui wo shang ni ji hui
Counting my shamefulness, I have hurt you too many instances
wo yi lu xiang bei li kai you ni de ji jie
I head towards the north to leave the season which describes you
fang xiang pan zhou wei hui zhuan zhe wo de hou hui
Around the steering wheel rotates my feelings of regret
wo jia sui chao yue que shuai bu diao jing jing gen shui de shang bei
I accelerate to escape the lingering sadness
xi shu can kui wo shang ni ji hui
Counting my shamefulness, I have hurt you too many instances
ting zhi lang bei jiu rang cuo chun cui
Stop the anguish by letting my wrongdoings
Monday, November 07, 2005
ALMOST HERE... or there...or...Juz Anywhere lah..
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I almost overslept...almost late...almost forgot everything... OMG... But..yah..overall..everything went well... i think. nonono...must have confidence...so..yah...i think i did great! but then again..i wouldn't want to be over-confident... so... erm.. i guess the papers were O.K... Maths was fun..as in.. that was the first time ever... i wasn't nervous about maths... ya know..usually...when i was doing the paper i'll be like..."oh gosh... dun let dat question come out..." and when the question really came out...i'm like..'SHIT! die..die..hayyah...fail ar...' But juz now...it was a 'smooth journey'... And i was even expecting to see some familiar questions... so..anywayz... i managed to finish the paper and do some checking, for the first time ever! So..yah...the paper ended at 10am...so..i have like 4 hours before my next paper... And i didn't want to waste time going home...then...going back there again.. so..i stayed at opi's place... Ya know what...i was like...half-asleep...well actually i was kinda asleep..itz juz dat my eyes were opened...and..erm...my hands were flipping the pages of the textbook...ahhaa..ya know what i mean, ritez... So anywayz... truthfully speaking...nothing much really went into my head... and overall...i think...i studied only one chapter! ONE CHAPTER!.... And the night before... one of my friends even said that the chapter that i was studying might be out of syllabus...and i'm like...wtf...but..despite all that...i was still stubborn and still continued studying that chapter... so..yah... and fortunately...it came out! And...omg...it was so..erm..so..scary.. I spend too much..juz too much time on the source-based question...and..i'm left with less than 20 mins to do sect.B...omg...i panic like hell... and..my hand was shaking... and...my handwriting was ...er..juz...messy! I scribbled my way through..and...managed...to ALMOST finish the paper... I didn't have time to write out about 2 points... so...erm...yah...kinda disappointed with that... coz..i really know what i wanna write... so.. my conclusion... i did ok... but..i know...i juz know..dat i could have done...much...much...better!
Tomorrow... Chemistry! ahaha... kinda excited how is the paper gonna be... But...i reckon...if... the setter decided to set a difficult paper..then the paper will be DAMN difficult... but..if the setter wanted it to be an easy paper...then..it'll be a very easy paper...and...dat frightens me...coz..u guyz should know diz... if we tink that the answer is too simple,we may think that there's more to it... so..yah..! i'd better not look deeper than it already is!
Ya know...everyone in my family...well..erm..except my brother lah.. they kept telling me..."fiza...juz do ur best ok... itz ok if u dun make it....dun give up...ITE is a good place... the course that u wanted is also in ITE...so..dun waste ur time..." And i;m like...wah...they already predicted my furture orn wad?! and...why can't they have some confidence in me??? I feel sad..haiz...but then again..i'v alwayz wanted to prove them wrong..but..most of the time...itz either i gave up...or i juz simply give in to them... Wonder what's gonna happen diz time...we'll see about that....
I luv Jay Chou? Have i told u that??? I luv Jay Chou!!! wohoo...! and now..i'm kinda looking out for websites which has jay chou's album : November's Chopin's hanyun pinyin lyrics.... Okz then...i'd better get started on my chem... toodles!
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I almost overslept...almost late...almost forgot everything... OMG... But..yah..overall..everything went well... i think. nonono...must have confidence...so..yah...i think i did great! but then again..i wouldn't want to be over-confident... so... erm.. i guess the papers were O.K... Maths was fun..as in.. that was the first time ever... i wasn't nervous about maths... ya know..usually...when i was doing the paper i'll be like..."oh gosh... dun let dat question come out..." and when the question really came out...i'm like..'SHIT! die..die..hayyah...fail ar...' But juz now...it was a 'smooth journey'... And i was even expecting to see some familiar questions... so..anywayz... i managed to finish the paper and do some checking, for the first time ever! So..yah...the paper ended at 10am...so..i have like 4 hours before my next paper... And i didn't want to waste time going home...then...going back there again.. so..i stayed at opi's place... Ya know what...i was like...half-asleep...well actually i was kinda asleep..itz juz dat my eyes were opened...and..erm...my hands were flipping the pages of the textbook...ahhaa..ya know what i mean, ritez... So anywayz... truthfully speaking...nothing much really went into my head... and overall...i think...i studied only one chapter! ONE CHAPTER!.... And the night before... one of my friends even said that the chapter that i was studying might be out of syllabus...and i'm like...wtf...but..despite all that...i was still stubborn and still continued studying that chapter... so..yah... and fortunately...it came out! And...omg...it was so..erm..so..scary.. I spend too much..juz too much time on the source-based question...and..i'm left with less than 20 mins to do sect.B...omg...i panic like hell... and..my hand was shaking... and...my handwriting was ...er..juz...messy! I scribbled my way through..and...managed...to ALMOST finish the paper... I didn't have time to write out about 2 points... so...erm...yah...kinda disappointed with that... coz..i really know what i wanna write... so.. my conclusion... i did ok... but..i know...i juz know..dat i could have done...much...much...better!
Tomorrow... Chemistry! ahaha... kinda excited how is the paper gonna be... But...i reckon...if... the setter decided to set a difficult paper..then the paper will be DAMN difficult... but..if the setter wanted it to be an easy paper...then..it'll be a very easy paper...and...dat frightens me...coz..u guyz should know diz... if we tink that the answer is too simple,we may think that there's more to it... so..yah..! i'd better not look deeper than it already is!
Ya know...everyone in my family...well..erm..except my brother lah.. they kept telling me..."fiza...juz do ur best ok... itz ok if u dun make it....dun give up...ITE is a good place... the course that u wanted is also in ITE...so..dun waste ur time..." And i;m like...wah...they already predicted my furture orn wad?! and...why can't they have some confidence in me??? I feel sad..haiz...but then again..i'v alwayz wanted to prove them wrong..but..most of the time...itz either i gave up...or i juz simply give in to them... Wonder what's gonna happen diz time...we'll see about that....
I luv Jay Chou? Have i told u that??? I luv Jay Chou!!! wohoo...! and now..i'm kinda looking out for websites which has jay chou's album : November's Chopin's hanyun pinyin lyrics.... Okz then...i'd better get started on my chem... toodles!
Friday, November 04, 2005
Mann...! I'm...so..so..TERIBBLE with relatives...!
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Oh my gosh... All of my mother's siblings came juz now... and i'm like... should i try to start conversations with them... oh should i keep myself busy in the kitchen... well...apparently...i chose to be in the kitchen..not all the time...but..MOST of the time...! And ya know what...i alwayz find myself in a corner..trying to join their conversations... or...juz laugh with them.. i TRIED... i did... I tried to be IN-THE-CROWD. But...oh well...i've been trying that for years actually, eversince i grew up! As in...eversince...i was 12...I mean...when i was little.. yah.... my cuzzins and i used to play a lot with each other...and couldn't wait to meet again... But now..yah...eversince i stepped into the 'teenage' world... It juz seems so awkward... Here i am, observing the cuzzin that i used to play hopscotch, 5-stones... yah know...and did all sorts of fun stuff together... And i thought to myself...hey...i missed those days... when won't have to worry that our make-up is ok onnot... whether the baju kurung compliments my figure...or...whether my hair was perfect...ya know...all those stuff... all i remember was those days...i persuaded my parents to visit more relatives...eventhough we've not even met... i juz thought...the more houses we visit...the more money i have! And those days... I can get up to $200 a day....well..yah... most of the time we reached home at about 1 plus..or 2 plus... At times...we tried to catch the last train.... There was a time when we got into the mrt station...and waited for the mrt...we waited..and waited...and waited...but...the train still hasn't arrived...then...there was anannouncement saying that the last train had already left...so... yah.. ahaha... that was fun though. But now.. everytime... my cuzzins came..well...most of them are younger than me...so..maybe..that's why we didn't have any 'connection'... But then...there are a few of my age...and...when they came.. i really feel like talking and joking with them...but..i dunno...i couldn't bring myself to do so... and ya know what...after they all left..i'm left with...REGRETS... i'm like...'shit...i should have talked to him/her... i dun want them to think that i'm arrogant or anything...' but it's all too late... that was the only day i meet them and... i blew the chance away... aww mann! wassup up with me and all these regrets? is that all i do? Regret? haiz... i miss my childhood...can i have it back? please.. haiz...
Ya know what.. the cousins that i used to be my playground mate...all have grown up...totally different...the guyz became handsome young lads...and the gals...yah... totally different.. so..erm..maybe itz because they have changed a lot... and dat made me more distant from them... haiz... i wonder...when will be the day...that i am able to to every single one of my cuzzins and enjoying every moment of it...?! maybe... NEVER...but i do hope that one day... one day...it will happen... maybe next year? coz...diz year...i'm definitely not into the festive mood...
I really thought my baju kurung was purple... so i bought a purple purse and heels.. ahah..but..overall..it looked ok lah...
My family...ya know what we took plenty of pics...before my father's siblings came...we were ready by 11am...but...in the end they came at about 2 plus....
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Oh my gosh... All of my mother's siblings came juz now... and i'm like... should i try to start conversations with them... oh should i keep myself busy in the kitchen... well...apparently...i chose to be in the kitchen..not all the time...but..MOST of the time...! And ya know what...i alwayz find myself in a corner..trying to join their conversations... or...juz laugh with them.. i TRIED... i did... I tried to be IN-THE-CROWD. But...oh well...i've been trying that for years actually, eversince i grew up! As in...eversince...i was 12...I mean...when i was little.. yah.... my cuzzins and i used to play a lot with each other...and couldn't wait to meet again... But now..yah...eversince i stepped into the 'teenage' world... It juz seems so awkward... Here i am, observing the cuzzin that i used to play hopscotch, 5-stones... yah know...and did all sorts of fun stuff together... And i thought to myself...hey...i missed those days... when won't have to worry that our make-up is ok onnot... whether the baju kurung compliments my figure...or...whether my hair was perfect...ya know...all those stuff... all i remember was those days...i persuaded my parents to visit more relatives...eventhough we've not even met... i juz thought...the more houses we visit...the more money i have! And those days... I can get up to $200 a day....well..yah... most of the time we reached home at about 1 plus..or 2 plus... At times...we tried to catch the last train.... There was a time when we got into the mrt station...and waited for the mrt...we waited..and waited...and waited...but...the train still hasn't arrived...then...there was anannouncement saying that the last train had already left...so... yah.. ahaha... that was fun though. But now.. everytime... my cuzzins came..well...most of them are younger than me...so..maybe..that's why we didn't have any 'connection'... But then...there are a few of my age...and...when they came.. i really feel like talking and joking with them...but..i dunno...i couldn't bring myself to do so... and ya know what...after they all left..i'm left with...REGRETS... i'm like...'shit...i should have talked to him/her... i dun want them to think that i'm arrogant or anything...' but it's all too late... that was the only day i meet them and... i blew the chance away... aww mann! wassup up with me and all these regrets? is that all i do? Regret? haiz... i miss my childhood...can i have it back? please.. haiz...
Ya know what.. the cousins that i used to be my playground mate...all have grown up...totally different...the guyz became handsome young lads...and the gals...yah... totally different.. so..erm..maybe itz because they have changed a lot... and dat made me more distant from them... haiz... i wonder...when will be the day...that i am able to to every single one of my cuzzins and enjoying every moment of it...?! maybe... NEVER...but i do hope that one day... one day...it will happen... maybe next year? coz...diz year...i'm definitely not into the festive mood...
I really thought my baju kurung was purple... so i bought a purple purse and heels.. ahah..but..overall..it looked ok lah...
My family...ya know what we took plenty of pics...before my father's siblings came...we were ready by 11am...but...in the end they came at about 2 plus....
And...here they are! All of them..erm..well..not exactly.. there's still one family... my father's younger bro.. so..yah.... this is the best that we could get...too bad they couldn't come... and... did i tell u the son, of my father's younger bro...actually got into TP...through the Nov intake...and...i was obviously damn jeolous... and i thought if he came,i'd be able to joke about it with him or sumthin...but...he didn't come...instead...he came today... and sadly...i didn't even talk to him... haiz...maybe...next time..next time lah...
Usually...we'll go out at about 10am on the first day of raye...but...diz year...my father's siblings wanted to come to our house first...so...yah...we had to wait for them...and...only managed to go out at about 6pm! Damn late ritez! And yah...by the time we reached my grandfather's house it was almost 8.30pm... see... itz damn dark rite... and i was yawning like i've never yawned before...throught the journey..omg..
So...yah... I'm still thinking whether i should follow my family tomorrow... haiz...must think of my future...must think of my future... haiz...yah... exams...exams..on moday! haiz... wish me all d best guyz!
Saturday, October 29, 2005
LaTe uPdAtEs...?
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So..yah..i guess i'm kinda busy...so..didn't really have the time to update...and..today... i figured i should really put up sumthin...coz..itz been a while since my last post... so..yah...begining with last Saturday's Geylang de-tour... We went to break fast at Raffles Hospital...yupz...the Banquet... rather small...but..i guess it was ok... Then...the geylang trip... we tried to avoid the crowd by walking...outside the tents and all...but..in the end..we juz had to go into those huge tents...and..squeeze in between people...so..yah... it was rather fun but...it can be freakin irritating...especially when you had no choice but to walk pass a huge group of MATS and MINAHS... i juz hate situations like that... Anywayz... we didn't take much picture at geylang itself... but rather, we took most of the pictures...in..get diz... a TAXI! And the cars that went pass us, were like staring at us... OMG! Damn embarassing but... the adrenaline rush juz make us more engrossed in taking more pictures... and...the taxi driver was kinda...erm...FREAKY...he kept looking at the rear mirror...omg... Seri even got the goosebumps...! Ritez seri??? ahaha...yah...but..the whole experience was a lotta fun! So..here are the pictures...
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So..yah..i guess i'm kinda busy...so..didn't really have the time to update...and..today... i figured i should really put up sumthin...coz..itz been a while since my last post... so..yah...begining with last Saturday's Geylang de-tour... We went to break fast at Raffles Hospital...yupz...the Banquet... rather small...but..i guess it was ok... Then...the geylang trip... we tried to avoid the crowd by walking...outside the tents and all...but..in the end..we juz had to go into those huge tents...and..squeeze in between people...so..yah... it was rather fun but...it can be freakin irritating...especially when you had no choice but to walk pass a huge group of MATS and MINAHS... i juz hate situations like that... Anywayz... we didn't take much picture at geylang itself... but rather, we took most of the pictures...in..get diz... a TAXI! And the cars that went pass us, were like staring at us... OMG! Damn embarassing but... the adrenaline rush juz make us more engrossed in taking more pictures... and...the taxi driver was kinda...erm...FREAKY...he kept looking at the rear mirror...omg... Seri even got the goosebumps...! Ritez seri??? ahaha...yah...but..the whole experience was a lotta fun! So..here are the pictures...
Here's seri and shida... In front of Kampung Melayu..or issit...some reastaurant..hmm...hayyah...dunno lah.. oh yah... and they didn't take a pic of me...!!! humph! i also want a pic in front of some restaurant...okz!
So..yah... not wanting to take any pics of them...i took a pic of this flower...part of the whole decoration thingy... purple and pink...nice combination,huh?
After a long wait...of wanting to have pics of the 3 of us together...we finally managed to get it done..erm..in front of this fashion...! itz kinda one of the biggest this fashion store in singapore...some of u may not know where issit...itz actually a walking distance from paya lebar mrt...
All that walking... was really exhausting...so..yah...me wif my 'oh..i'm so tired...but...i still wanna have my pic taken' look...ahaha...seri...looking good as alwayz...
the unintentional picture... wif shidah looking at an unidentified flying object...whereas for me, i was checking out a guy who's looking at me...ahaha...YAH..RITEZ!!! joking lah peeps..as if i would ever do dat!
finally...we are in the taxi!!! we couldn't imgaine ourselves standing in the mrt from Paya Lebar all the way to Boon Lay... so..yah...we hopped into a taxi... and yupz...started taking pics! And the taxi driver even thought that we're tourists! Omg...! Hey...where's me??? no me face...? where's me face...?
Oh...here's me face! But...oh wait..seri...where's ur face...??? hmm... notice that shidah's face is alwayz IN the pic...! Dats becoz... seri and i were the photographers... and shidah... i bet ur juz enjoying it huh....
Anywayz...that's the end of the geylang trip... and diz particular was found... in some hidden files in my com...itz taken...erm...about...2-3 years ago? yah..around there lah... ahah..memories...inah,seri & me!
And of course... me... again...! ahah...dun i look great?! *beams* yah...yah...wadeva... mann..i do look fat...my cheeks looked...erm...Chubby! OMG! sheesh!
found diz old pic....so..yah...kinda liked it...so...here it is...! oh wait... now i remember...i took diz pic before i went to meet seri to go geylang! which was...erm..2 weeks ago? rite seri? ahaha...so..yah...
So..hmm..let me see...what else is there to say... A few nights ago... i kinda sent a msg to 98.7FM... and it was read...but..erm.. the dj didn't really read out my full msg...so..anywayz...that night...i dreamt of my classmates..from primary school to secondary school... it felt really weird...but then again i felt great when i woke up...coz in a way i was reminiscing the past... Mann...i really missed those days... especially my primary school buddies... But sometimes...i do meet them now and then... although i recognized them..i didn't dare to go up to them to say hello...coz...they're so...different...so...yah... but nonetheless, they were once my friends..so..i really cherished those moments we had together...
So..Hari Raya is on this Thursday!! Hahaha... so fast ar... sad to say... i dun think i managed achieve my aim...which was to lose about 5kg...Darn it! oh well.. nuthin could be done now...not unless i starve myself for the next 3 days.. but..even if i did that...at the very most...i'd lose about 1 kg...so..wadeva lah...come..wad...may..!
Exams are around the corner...in fact...i have a paper this monday! so..yah... hopefully...this time round, it'll be a smooth journey... So..okz... that's it then.... Happy Deepavali & Selamat hari raya aidilfitri, maaf zahir & batin!
Friday, October 21, 2005
unfair..UNfair...UNFAIR!!
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WTF... i have to sufferfor 2 bloody years wif it... and u have a choice of your own...???! Wad the hell...! Well... wanna know what am i so pissed about....? Okz... Itz like diz... My younger bro(sec 2) is going on to sec 3...so..meaning to say... he's gonna have to chose his sec 3 class...whether pure science..dnt..etc. Yesterday he showed me the different types of combinations... and...omg... I was like... diz..is...totally UNFAIR!!! In my school, itz either a pure science class...with a MUST in A.MATHS... or... a dnt/f&n/poa...class... as in... a dnt class.... itz either you chose lit/a.maths, geog/history...and...that's about it... no other variations... whereas...if u wanna take f&n... u have to take POA... and..yah....dats about it... But...in his school... for pure science...there are 3 choices... either u want PURE physics but comb.chem & bio, PURE chem but comb.phy & bio or PURE bio but comb. phy & chem... and...GET DIZ.... A.MATHS....is...NOT...compulsory!!! I bet some of u must be cursing rite now,huh...ahaha... and...yah... for the other classes... they can chose... between art,dnt or f&n.... whether they want their humanities to be ss/geog, ss/history or ss/lit.... OH MY GAWD!!!! Needless to say... if i were in his school...i wouldn't have to suffer with HISTORY...& DNT...!!! ARGH!!!! and i could enjoy my F&N... omg!!! Ya know what...dats the problem...his school, gives a wide range of classes to chose from, to suit the needs and interest of the students... but...my school...haiz... they're juz into the grades...and not interest...sad,huh... oh well... I've done my 4 years of agony...and...no...i won't do it all over again if i was given the choice...NO TANX!
Science practical yesterday...hmm...kinda weird...coz...i was more confident in my chem than phy... But overall... I'm juz not satisfied with the huge,huge mistake that i did in my physics practical... it was a very STUPID MISTAKE.... and dat stupid, idiotic,unforgiven mistake.. may have cost me my 15 marks...such a tragic... haiz... well...no use sobbing over it now dat itz all over...
Anywayz.... yesterday i bought the MANJA magazine...and...it so happens that there were cookie recipes...so..i guess i'll be doing quite a bit of 'EXPERIMENTS' in my kitchen soon... itz gonna be pretty interesting... flour everywhere on the kitchen top, floor... the melted chocolate splattered all over...a tower of bowls used... different kinds of spoons, spatulas...mixers... ahaha... geez! i'm so darn excited...
Oh yah...heard of that new song by SUGARBABES??? i tink itz called 'push the button'... it has that nice...retro kinda feel...awesome...
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WTF... i have to sufferfor 2 bloody years wif it... and u have a choice of your own...???! Wad the hell...! Well... wanna know what am i so pissed about....? Okz... Itz like diz... My younger bro(sec 2) is going on to sec 3...so..meaning to say... he's gonna have to chose his sec 3 class...whether pure science..dnt..etc. Yesterday he showed me the different types of combinations... and...omg... I was like... diz..is...totally UNFAIR!!! In my school, itz either a pure science class...with a MUST in A.MATHS... or... a dnt/f&n/poa...class... as in... a dnt class.... itz either you chose lit/a.maths, geog/history...and...that's about it... no other variations... whereas...if u wanna take f&n... u have to take POA... and..yah....dats about it... But...in his school... for pure science...there are 3 choices... either u want PURE physics but comb.chem & bio, PURE chem but comb.phy & bio or PURE bio but comb. phy & chem... and...GET DIZ.... A.MATHS....is...NOT...compulsory!!! I bet some of u must be cursing rite now,huh...ahaha... and...yah... for the other classes... they can chose... between art,dnt or f&n.... whether they want their humanities to be ss/geog, ss/history or ss/lit.... OH MY GAWD!!!! Needless to say... if i were in his school...i wouldn't have to suffer with HISTORY...& DNT...!!! ARGH!!!! and i could enjoy my F&N... omg!!! Ya know what...dats the problem...his school, gives a wide range of classes to chose from, to suit the needs and interest of the students... but...my school...haiz... they're juz into the grades...and not interest...sad,huh... oh well... I've done my 4 years of agony...and...no...i won't do it all over again if i was given the choice...NO TANX!
Science practical yesterday...hmm...kinda weird...coz...i was more confident in my chem than phy... But overall... I'm juz not satisfied with the huge,huge mistake that i did in my physics practical... it was a very STUPID MISTAKE.... and dat stupid, idiotic,unforgiven mistake.. may have cost me my 15 marks...such a tragic... haiz... well...no use sobbing over it now dat itz all over...
Anywayz.... yesterday i bought the MANJA magazine...and...it so happens that there were cookie recipes...so..i guess i'll be doing quite a bit of 'EXPERIMENTS' in my kitchen soon... itz gonna be pretty interesting... flour everywhere on the kitchen top, floor... the melted chocolate splattered all over...a tower of bowls used... different kinds of spoons, spatulas...mixers... ahaha... geez! i'm so darn excited...
Oh yah...heard of that new song by SUGARBABES??? i tink itz called 'push the button'... it has that nice...retro kinda feel...awesome...
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
a keRAzee WeekEND
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I've been pretty busy lately... haven't got the time to update my blog.. but.. i'm not quite sure what i've been busy with... I mean.. time seems to have passed quickly... All i remember was waking up for the first meal of the day, 'sahur'...doing some chores...and the next thing i knew...the day is over... Itz like i didn't do much for the day but...my time seems to be preoccupied most of the time...doing what.... I dunno... weird huh...
Anywayz... Last Saturday i went to my aunt's place to break our fast, 'buka-puasa'... And that was probably the first i ever saw them...and that they ever saw me... since...erm...since hari raya i suppose... So yah... itz been a while... Usually i'm not so keen into going to the relative's house to break the fast... but...sumhow...this time round..i kinda WANTED to go.. so... i went with my 2 other brothers... We were late, as alwayz... so.. everyone was done eating...so..yah... the first thing they commented to me when i walked into the house was..."eh-eh...fiza...wah...so FAT ar..." And i was like... well, "tanx a lot for d comment.." So i thought...well...yah...i did put on some weight...but...to call me 'FAT'...haiz...i was hurt...very hurt... especially...that 'FAT' word kept orbiting around me non-stop... They kept asking me, "what happen to you?", "why are u like dat?".... OMG.... I really..really...wanna run out of that house and hide under some storeroom that will actually FIT ME... haiz.. pathetic huh... My gawd... i was suffering in those 2 hours...but.. at one point of time.. my other 2 cuz... whose taking the o levels also.. went into one room and closed the door... so..itz juz the 3 of us... and..dat was nice... i mean.. we need not bother about what the adults think or does... we juz talked about ourselves...and we needn't be ashamed or scared what the others would think....we were free to talk about anything without anyone being sarcastic or gave a nasty comment... So..yah..i had fun gals!
Okz...so..enough about my FAT issue... Let's talk about something 'lighter'...hmm.. On Sunday, me and my old bestie, SERI...went to geylang... ahaha...yah...u heard it...GEYLANG...!!! And it was a pouring day...really..really heavy rain... OMG... It was chaotic... crowded... problematic... a mess... but...FUN! ahhaa... From being disturbed by those 'MATS'... being wet... knocked by others... to... getting cheated by an uncle... yah...we kinda got CHEATED by an uncle...who was supposedly...helping us get a taxi...get diz... AT A TAXI STAND! omg... I mean...it was really raining heavily... And we had no choice... And the uncle was there...u know..instructing the taxi to stop nearn the stand...and...before we got into the taxi he said in malay, "eh..u people don't pity me issit?i worked hard to get a taxi for u.. plz lighten up ur hands to pass me some money..at the very least.. give me a few cents lah..." we were damn shocked... but..we're in a very difficult situation... we know he's a cheater...but..at the same time..there were other people behind us...and..we don't wanna create any conflict or problems... so..i dug out 50cents from my purse...and handed it over to .... and in the taxi... oh my gawd... ahaha... we were complaining about that uncle and the taxi driver even added, "YAH...u girls shouldn't have given him any money...he's a cheater..taking advantage of the situation..." So..yah.. wadeva lah... After that.. we actually went to ORCHARD... ahaha...wonder where i got all the energy to walk around... maybe itz becoz i enjoyed ur company, seri!! we should do diz kinda de-tour again, in the future alritez!!!
So..yah...then..the next day, Monday, i was woken up by a call at 9.30am... It was from my company... they've not been in contact with me...since my last contract..which was like...a month ago... So...still in my sleep mode..i was like.."oh..hi...hello..." and the next thingy i heard was..."we'd like you to come down to work now...because our receptionist wasn't feeling well..." and still at that point of time.. i'm still in the daze... and all i heard was...'work...and now'... And i finally woke up completely when she asked, "so how?" and i was like..."huh? u serious ar? NOW?" and she's like..."yah lah...now...onnot i wouldn't be calling u early in the morning lah.." ahaha...so...yah.. i went to work for the day... The work was simple..yet tedious... as in... i have to answer calls...and look out for the teliphone numbers that they're looking for...which takes time...and...i'm kinda 'kanchong' when that happens... but overall ...it was alright... i even managed to do my maths exam papers...so..yah.. the day went great...
An upcoming event...this Saturday... I'm gonna break-fast with my gal-frenz...whom i've not seen for a while... wohoo.. imah.. i bet u must be 'slimming' down quick huh... so...diz saturday... no 'diet' for u... must eat hor!!! ahhaha...
So....yupz...my science practical is tomorrow... i'm pretty excited about it... itz been a year since i stepped into a lab... hope i can remember how the apparatus look... i wouldn't wanna mistaken the burette for the pippete... that would call for disaster...!
Okz then... look out for pictures on Saturday!!!
==============
I've been pretty busy lately... haven't got the time to update my blog.. but.. i'm not quite sure what i've been busy with... I mean.. time seems to have passed quickly... All i remember was waking up for the first meal of the day, 'sahur'...doing some chores...and the next thing i knew...the day is over... Itz like i didn't do much for the day but...my time seems to be preoccupied most of the time...doing what.... I dunno... weird huh...
Anywayz... Last Saturday i went to my aunt's place to break our fast, 'buka-puasa'... And that was probably the first i ever saw them...and that they ever saw me... since...erm...since hari raya i suppose... So yah... itz been a while... Usually i'm not so keen into going to the relative's house to break the fast... but...sumhow...this time round..i kinda WANTED to go.. so... i went with my 2 other brothers... We were late, as alwayz... so.. everyone was done eating...so..yah... the first thing they commented to me when i walked into the house was..."eh-eh...fiza...wah...so FAT ar..." And i was like... well, "tanx a lot for d comment.." So i thought...well...yah...i did put on some weight...but...to call me 'FAT'...haiz...i was hurt...very hurt... especially...that 'FAT' word kept orbiting around me non-stop... They kept asking me, "what happen to you?", "why are u like dat?".... OMG.... I really..really...wanna run out of that house and hide under some storeroom that will actually FIT ME... haiz.. pathetic huh... My gawd... i was suffering in those 2 hours...but.. at one point of time.. my other 2 cuz... whose taking the o levels also.. went into one room and closed the door... so..itz juz the 3 of us... and..dat was nice... i mean.. we need not bother about what the adults think or does... we juz talked about ourselves...and we needn't be ashamed or scared what the others would think....we were free to talk about anything without anyone being sarcastic or gave a nasty comment... So..yah..i had fun gals!
Okz...so..enough about my FAT issue... Let's talk about something 'lighter'...hmm.. On Sunday, me and my old bestie, SERI...went to geylang... ahaha...yah...u heard it...GEYLANG...!!! And it was a pouring day...really..really heavy rain... OMG... It was chaotic... crowded... problematic... a mess... but...FUN! ahhaa... From being disturbed by those 'MATS'... being wet... knocked by others... to... getting cheated by an uncle... yah...we kinda got CHEATED by an uncle...who was supposedly...helping us get a taxi...get diz... AT A TAXI STAND! omg... I mean...it was really raining heavily... And we had no choice... And the uncle was there...u know..instructing the taxi to stop nearn the stand...and...before we got into the taxi he said in malay, "eh..u people don't pity me issit?i worked hard to get a taxi for u.. plz lighten up ur hands to pass me some money..at the very least.. give me a few cents lah..." we were damn shocked... but..we're in a very difficult situation... we know he's a cheater...but..at the same time..there were other people behind us...and..we don't wanna create any conflict or problems... so..i dug out 50cents from my purse...and handed it over to .... and in the taxi... oh my gawd... ahaha... we were complaining about that uncle and the taxi driver even added, "YAH...u girls shouldn't have given him any money...he's a cheater..taking advantage of the situation..." So..yah.. wadeva lah... After that.. we actually went to ORCHARD... ahaha...wonder where i got all the energy to walk around... maybe itz becoz i enjoyed ur company, seri!! we should do diz kinda de-tour again, in the future alritez!!!
So..yah...then..the next day, Monday, i was woken up by a call at 9.30am... It was from my company... they've not been in contact with me...since my last contract..which was like...a month ago... So...still in my sleep mode..i was like.."oh..hi...hello..." and the next thingy i heard was..."we'd like you to come down to work now...because our receptionist wasn't feeling well..." and still at that point of time.. i'm still in the daze... and all i heard was...'work...and now'... And i finally woke up completely when she asked, "so how?" and i was like..."huh? u serious ar? NOW?" and she's like..."yah lah...now...onnot i wouldn't be calling u early in the morning lah.." ahaha...so...yah.. i went to work for the day... The work was simple..yet tedious... as in... i have to answer calls...and look out for the teliphone numbers that they're looking for...which takes time...and...i'm kinda 'kanchong' when that happens... but overall ...it was alright... i even managed to do my maths exam papers...so..yah.. the day went great...
An upcoming event...this Saturday... I'm gonna break-fast with my gal-frenz...whom i've not seen for a while... wohoo.. imah.. i bet u must be 'slimming' down quick huh... so...diz saturday... no 'diet' for u... must eat hor!!! ahhaha...
So....yupz...my science practical is tomorrow... i'm pretty excited about it... itz been a year since i stepped into a lab... hope i can remember how the apparatus look... i wouldn't wanna mistaken the burette for the pippete... that would call for disaster...!
Okz then... look out for pictures on Saturday!!!
Thursday, October 13, 2005
the only daughter
============
That is the hardest job ever!!! Being the only daughter in the family... You have so much responsiblity so that you don't even know whether you're supposed to do the particular task, or you were taken advantage of... You are just so used to do every single work in the house... But still, after all of it has been done, you thought you'd be given a little for yourself... But NO... 'They' just won't leave you alone... DARN IT! Give me a break will ya?! I need some time off.. can? yah...rite...if i were to take a break... wonder what's the state of my household... argh.. So... i guess.. I'll just carry on with my 'responsibilities'... eventhough i'm not given any credit for it... and they, not being appreciative of what i've done.. sometimes... pissed me off... i said 'sometimes' because... there are days when i do the chores willingly... ya know...when i'm in a good mood and all... but...they are days when i feel like not lifting a single finger on anything, but in the end, the job still has to be done... and on top of that 'they'are giving me crap and attitude.. THAT is when i LOSE IT! And when that happens... i'll just shout at everyone.. and ask them to do it themselves! But ya know what... i'm not a petty person... I'm only gonna be mad for a few hours... then after that... i'll go back to see what needs to be done... So..yah... Maybe... by doing all these... itz a way of paying back my folks.. So...FIZA...STOP COMPLAINING!
Anywayz... exams are coming...wohoo...!!! i'm so excited..!! omg..can't believe i just said that... Oh well... the moment is here...AGAIN... So.. yah.. have i prepared myself? well... what i can say...is that i've been doing my revision and exam papers constantly... so.. yah.. i tink i'll be ok.. This year... there'll be 2 of my other cuzzins taking the same exam too... which makes things more..erm.. more...challenging...! So gals.. all the best!
And..one more thing...hey peeps.. maybe we should go and 'break-fast' sumtimez.... how about that? we can go geylang..and then...do a little touring of our own... How??? Contact me alritez! I bet itz gonna be a lotta fun!
============
That is the hardest job ever!!! Being the only daughter in the family... You have so much responsiblity so that you don't even know whether you're supposed to do the particular task, or you were taken advantage of... You are just so used to do every single work in the house... But still, after all of it has been done, you thought you'd be given a little for yourself... But NO... 'They' just won't leave you alone... DARN IT! Give me a break will ya?! I need some time off.. can? yah...rite...if i were to take a break... wonder what's the state of my household... argh.. So... i guess.. I'll just carry on with my 'responsibilities'... eventhough i'm not given any credit for it... and they, not being appreciative of what i've done.. sometimes... pissed me off... i said 'sometimes' because... there are days when i do the chores willingly... ya know...when i'm in a good mood and all... but...they are days when i feel like not lifting a single finger on anything, but in the end, the job still has to be done... and on top of that 'they'are giving me crap and attitude.. THAT is when i LOSE IT! And when that happens... i'll just shout at everyone.. and ask them to do it themselves! But ya know what... i'm not a petty person... I'm only gonna be mad for a few hours... then after that... i'll go back to see what needs to be done... So..yah... Maybe... by doing all these... itz a way of paying back my folks.. So...FIZA...STOP COMPLAINING!
Anywayz... exams are coming...wohoo...!!! i'm so excited..!! omg..can't believe i just said that... Oh well... the moment is here...AGAIN... So.. yah.. have i prepared myself? well... what i can say...is that i've been doing my revision and exam papers constantly... so.. yah.. i tink i'll be ok.. This year... there'll be 2 of my other cuzzins taking the same exam too... which makes things more..erm.. more...challenging...! So gals.. all the best!
And..one more thing...hey peeps.. maybe we should go and 'break-fast' sumtimez.... how about that? we can go geylang..and then...do a little touring of our own... How??? Contact me alritez! I bet itz gonna be a lotta fun!
Friday, October 07, 2005
WHY...?
=========
Why do we have to bicker at the smallest thing?
Why do we have to shout at each other everyday?
Why do you have to speak to me in an irritated tone?
Why do you like to demand things from me?
Why am i the target of your frustrations?
Why should i be doing things for you?
Why am i not treated like the others?
Why do you have to hate me so much?
Why can't you talk nicely to me?
Why do you have make such a fuss when i go out with my friends?
Why don't you approve of my lifestyle?
Why don't you understand my feelings?
Why do you have to make things difficult for me?
Why do i have to suffer?
Why am i like this?
What did i do to deserve all this?
Where...?
=======
Where is the love that should be given to me?
Where is the concern that you should have for me?
Where is your responsibility that you should have towards me?
Where is the 'bond' that we should have?
Where did all the happiness that we had years ago gone to?
Where is the sound of laughter?
Where is the feeling of joy?
Where are all the enthusiasm?
Where has the 'real' you gone to?
I know...
========
I know that you love me.
I know that you care.
I know that you want the best for me.
But all that, i'm unaware.
I know you make decisions that are for my good.
But don't you understand, that i have feelings, too?
I know you treat me different coz, i'm all that you have.
I know you'd want me to abide your rules.
I know that you want to prepare me for the future.
But then again, all that i am, is juz a teenager.
I am...
=========
I am juz a teenager,
but a kid at heart.
I don't have the strength
to carry on with the responsibilities,
that i have.
I am juz a girl,
who needs protection
from the person who brought her to life.
I am juz a normal human,
with an attitude and uncontrolled emotions.
Thank you
==========
Thank you for bringing me to life,
Thank you for allowing me to have this experience.
Thank you for giving me education.
Thank you for giving me a shelter.
Thank you for giving me all the material things that i wanted.
But all that i don't really care
coz what i really need is an everlasting love.
P.S : Kinda emotional here... So many things have happened in a week... But there's a greater obstacle that i have to face soon... And its the peak of the mountains... After months of slogging and hiking up the mountains... Now is the time to finally show my ability... To prove... To prove that i'm worth it...
Monday, October 03, 2005
McDonalds...finger lickin' good...!(oops! dats 4 KFC,isn't it?)
==========================================
Anywayz... Had breakfast at Mcdonalds with my mum & youngest bro... He's such a pain in the a** but erm.. yah... he'd darn cute...so...no one really cares about his obnoxiousness... I ate 2 of the 3 hotcakes...and couldn't stuff anymore... but the weird thing was, prior to time of ordering, my stomach was making so much noise... and it got louder and louder each time... sheesh.. damn embarrassing... so... yah... the moment... the hotcakes are right in front of my face, i didn't have time to observe how nice and perfect it looked... i juz gobble it all and the next thing i knew, itz left with only one piece...which is all soggy... drained by the maple syrup... So... i kinda took a break, and started taking pictures while my mum was finishing her kaya bread... I took a pic of my bro first... I told him to smile nicely... and see how he did...
ahaha....isn't dat...so...FAKE?! Not a sincere smile at all... and to think that that's a smile coming from a 4 year old... Oh...and it was like 10 in the morning...and he was pleading for that mcflurry.. and in the end... he only ate 1/5 of it... And guess who has to finish it all? ME?! Darn it... there goes my diet... RUINED!!!
Wonder why this hyper-active boy suddenly became so sad...??? Coz he wanted to play with my handphone...! He wanted to take pics of me & my mum... Wanna know the reason why i didn't let him? Coz each time i gave him my phone... He'll juz delete sumthin... It either gonna be my msgs... or pics... or the most favourite of all times... the GAMES...! One moment there are 5 different games...and the next... ZILCH! NONE! No games at all...! So...yah... never...ever...give ur handphone to the young...
Then...he was making such a din at McDonalds...and my mum kept saying,"hayyah...juz give him lah... He's so noisy... People will complain lah..." So...obviously i had to give in... But before handing him my handphone i told him, "ok...kalau syafiq nak hp... tunjuk muka cute dulu...kalau tak...kakak tak bagik tau..." (if u want my handphone, u gotta give me a cute pose first) And immediately he gave me that look...! aww....isn't dat juz cute..??? Juz look at his eyes... 
So...yah... diz is the result of the picture taken by Muhd Lutfil Syafiq!!! Adik... where's our faces???! I scolded him and he made dat sad look again... typical of him.. ahah..
==========================================
Anywayz... Had breakfast at Mcdonalds with my mum & youngest bro... He's such a pain in the a** but erm.. yah... he'd darn cute...so...no one really cares about his obnoxiousness... I ate 2 of the 3 hotcakes...and couldn't stuff anymore... but the weird thing was, prior to time of ordering, my stomach was making so much noise... and it got louder and louder each time... sheesh.. damn embarrassing... so... yah... the moment... the hotcakes are right in front of my face, i didn't have time to observe how nice and perfect it looked... i juz gobble it all and the next thing i knew, itz left with only one piece...which is all soggy... drained by the maple syrup... So... i kinda took a break, and started taking pictures while my mum was finishing her kaya bread... I took a pic of my bro first... I told him to smile nicely... and see how he did...
ahaha....isn't dat...so...FAKE?! Not a sincere smile at all... and to think that that's a smile coming from a 4 year old... Oh...and it was like 10 in the morning...and he was pleading for that mcflurry.. and in the end... he only ate 1/5 of it... And guess who has to finish it all? ME?! Darn it... there goes my diet... RUINED!!!Wonder why this hyper-active boy suddenly became so sad...??? Coz he wanted to play with my handphone...! He wanted to take pics of me & my mum... Wanna know the reason why i didn't let him? Coz each time i gave him my phone... He'll juz delete sumthin... It either gonna be my msgs... or pics... or the most favourite of all times... the GAMES...! One moment there are 5 different games...and the next... ZILCH! NONE! No games at all...! So...yah... never...ever...give ur handphone to the young...Then...he was making such a din at McDonalds...and my mum kept saying,"hayyah...juz give him lah... He's so noisy... People will complain lah..." So...obviously i had to give in... But before handing him my handphone i told him, "ok...kalau syafiq nak hp... tunjuk muka cute dulu...kalau tak...kakak tak bagik tau..." (if u want my handphone, u gotta give me a cute pose first) And immediately he gave me that look...! aww....isn't dat juz cute..??? Juz look at his eyes... So...yah... diz is the result of the picture taken by Muhd Lutfil Syafiq!!! Adik... where's our faces???! I scolded him and he made dat sad look again... typical of him.. ahah.. So...we took a pic by ourselves! Me and me mum... any resemblence?Got onnot??? I dun see any leh... tell me if u spot it..! oh shucks... wouldn't it be a complete pic if syafiq was in it too... haiz...too late!
So...yah...you know wad... after breakfast... my bro looked kinda sick... and..guess wad... he IS SICK! Slight fever... hmm... wonder how he got it... He looked juz find during breakfast... Weird... actually we were planning to go to IMM... But...had to cancel it... becoz of him! And i've yet to buy the nice brown pants that i saw at bossini.... Maybe...i'll drop by JP later to buy it... alone! No disturbance while shopping! NO SYAFIQ ALLOWED!
Okz... finishing my apple pie now... then...gonna do the laundry... and... help my mum in the kitchen... Oh...and... how can a person have 200 over people adding him in friendster in juz 2 days??? OMG...His email must be flooded with all these friend requests...which..means...that...he won't have the time to... er... nvm... Byez!
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