why believe in love, when u know its going to hurt u...? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
i don't know.

i guess its like..
knowing how bad of a tummy ache you're going to get after eating the entire buffet..
but you don't care.
u still went on with the food despite knowing the consequences.


time & time again, u made me cry. but yet, i still want to hold u close to me.

Happy 21st birthday to you.
My dear friend.
Khairul Hazril.

Does your name begin with: S?
For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and is capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You tend to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the only human being on the planet. You like being the center of attention. You are very caring, sensitive, private and sometimes very passive. Turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don’t fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous and giving, often selfless. You are kind nature and sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.

HIM.
Does your name begin with: M?
You may appear innocent, unassuming and shy; but we know that appearances can lie. When it comes to sex, you are no novice but something of a skilled technician. You can easily go to extremes, though, running the gamut from insatiability to boredom with the whole idea of love. You can be highly critical of your mate, seeking perfection in both of you. It is not easy to find someone who can meet your standards. You have difficulty expressing emotions and drawing close to lovers. You are often selfish, thinking you are always right no matter what. You never give in. Winning is your prime desire-at any cost. You often forget friends and family and you live for the moment.

The need to put a stop to all of it.

To what you may ask?

To all the fun stuff that i used to do..
To those late nights that i used to have..
To the mini shopping sprees i used to do...

To the laughter & joy..
To the life of a teenager.

I have to make a crucial decision right now.
And it involves my loved ones & MY FUTURE.
And of course, it involves money.

Am i ready to let it all go?
For the sake of my parents, and my brothers, i will try.

And i'm sorry guys if i'm unable to be the person i was before.
Cause' right now at this moment, i have to big of a responsibility..
And i might not be able to be a part of your joy & laughter anymore.

Here is to adulthood.
From this moment.
On.

2 months on
---------------------
moving ahead..

2mths have passed..

i'm here.
ur there.

pls do carry on with your karaoke-ing.
i'll just be here..
with my blog..
and facebook.

nite nite.

i should be sleeping
---------------------------
Really.

Its like almost midnight..
and yet..
am still here..
typing away.

Well the thing is, i have JUST kinda finished my inventory report..
my FIRST ever.. major report..
and.. i cried.
in the office.
why?
Coz it accidentally got deleted off!!!
Seriously mann...
Why do i even bother asking people to make backups of their stuff..
when i don't even practice it???
ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

2weeks of work... gone.
Just like that!
POOF!
gosh..

You know what..
its not about having to do it all over again..
its just that.. you've put in so much effort the first time round..
and you really put your whole heart into doing it..
it feels like nurturing you little kids..
and then.. when they grow up.. they decided to ignore you..
unless.. u decided to have another.

gosh.

i went totally berserk!!!
horrible!

argh.

so pls pls.. do remember to make backups of your work.
*reminder to self*

TOO MUCH... to handle.
---------------------------

When it gets too much too handle..

Too much to take..

Too much to absorb..

Too much of everything...

What i would do is...

S.I.N.G!!!!

So... when there's singing/humming in the office..
Means.. someone is super duper stressed out d

the b.i.t.c.h of the pack
----------------------------------
who?

me.

i've been a little crazy(ok i lied. super-duper crazy)lately..
and all those small talks and whispers about being an attention-seeker..
not dressed appropriately to work..
overly made up..
make cause a distraction..
argh!!!

and on top of that.. the workload which..
for now..
ive yet to see the finishing line..
not even the half-way ticket..
im not even sure where i stand at all!!!

im lost.
seriously.
lost.

i have a feeling my post here has no such relations whatsoever to my title..
hmm..

just that i have SOOOO MANY stuff on my mind..

ive been trying to be the hero...
or rather.. heroine..

but the thing is..
this heroine has a super bad sense of prioritization!!!!

imagine this..
what if she had to save a baby, a mother, a father all at once?? and they're at different locations with a time limit..

i guess i would have just cried!!!
coz all three of them are as important!!!
how could u save one and not the other!!!

AAAAAHHHH!

thinking that having a full time job would solve all the issues..
instead..
more has just been created.
and like someone said..
"its never-ending..."

i know.. i know..
perhaps i'm complaining too much here.

but sometimes..
i really feel guilty..
for being selfish once in a while..
for just thinking about my own needs..
for just... wanting to have.. something.

bt..oh well.
i guess family comes first.
always.
i lurve my family so much.
i would do whatever it takes to bring us closer together..
and not necessarily having to say I LOVE U every single day..
just small gestures each day..
or for my parents.. just buy the 'VADEH' every single day..!

hmm.. bf in camp nw..
and replying msgs to me through facebook..
wth.

aite then..
tmr shall be another day..
about ppl talking about other ppl..
about incoming and outgoing pipes..
about the inspectors laughing their heads off during tea break..
and me.. looking through inches.. OD.. and IDs.. and plenty of NUMBERS!!!