i. think..
i. dont. like. coughs.
eeks.
need. sleep..
whoop.

step back.
observe.
realise.
digest.
understand.
retreat.
shites.
tak boleh tahan lah.

i miss you.

i noticed.
and it made me think even more.
i realised.
and i need to accept it.
i spoke.
and i find it annoyingly upsetting.
i thought.
and i shall let it come to a close.

the less sober you are, the more truthful you'll be.. hmmmm. anyways, i have decided to let things be, and not worry so much about the situation whatsoever. if things happen, then i'll just leave it be. should there be changes, i'll embrace it. i've come to realise that there's no point brooding over situations that are beyond my control, and though the entirety of everything may seem overbearing, i shall endure. i guess feelings can be controlled, and i shouldnt ever let what i feel might happen affect what could happen now. i love my life, and i shall let it run free. wheeeee!

buds.
woots.
usuals.
ohana.
loves.

yay!

the ijs are just fantastic. gosh, didnt realise how much i'd missed their company.. didnt realise how much i appreciated their presence. hmmm, i'd say manda's birthday celebration was timed just right. looking at everyone, im amazed at how we've all grown, from the noisy brats we were, to the noisy ladies we are now. at we all fast approach the big 2-1 this year, i hope we can still continue to journey together, and keep in contact. haha, im just so happy now. im just excited til the next time we meet again. gorgeouses, you guys kick ass.

was talking to nat as and when yesterday, and oh boy, didnt realise how much i'd missed her. we were totally thrilled to see each other. hmmm. we spoke of life, and past experiences, and i came to realise that the past held so many lessons. some of which good, and some horrid. i realised how much i had grown. gosh, do i really restrict myself? do i use those experiences and possible experiences at bay? i dont know.

oh wells. i need to go back to do my painting now. school's been pretty hectic.

friendship.

we dont have to meet always,
to know that we care.
for i know in my heart,
you'll always be there.

so whenever you're in doubt,
or if you feel left behind;
think about the good times,
and you'll know it's all fine.

for my dear friend,
forever you will be;
etched in heart,
for all eternity.

Stones taught me to fly;
Love taught me to lie;
Life taught me to die.
So it's not hard to fall,
When you float like a cannonball.

certain individuals just have this ability to constantly make me ponder about life, and the mysteries that follow. the way hearts connect, and how wonderful friendships are. but then again, when we begin to look at things from a different angle, we'll find ourselves noticing the flaws and the faults that skim the surface of underlying tension. but oh wells. what are we to do? hmmm.

in any case, i'd like to say that, all the times spent with the buds are absolutely enriching. i love it! wheeee!

its amazing how all these thoughts fill my head. how all these things just happen to form and create feelings that werent expected. i didnt know how to go about the entire situation. i felt unworthy, as though i thought i knew that i was nothing compared to everything else. i felt as though it was a trick to be called, only to realise that nothing was what it seemed. then i eventually knew that God called, cos He knew i could. He knew i had what it takes to make a difference, and He wanted me to see that i already have made that difference, no matter how subtle it might have seemed. and now, i wish to embrace, in hopes of pleasing Him, in hopes of doing what i was called to do, to fulfil my purpose. i think i can handle that. but.. im not sure i can handle everything. like, when do you know when things are real or not? when do you know if what you feel is the truth? when what you sense could actually be reality? or is it all just a facade that hides all? i cant fathom or discern what course of action to undertake, nor can i accept the fact that certain things happen, and i cant stop it. and oh, how i hate the feeling of not being in control of my life. feelings are such disobedient things. oh you naughty feelings. i'll smack you if i could. gosh. drea is talking to herself. i think i seriously need some kind of output. but i find it so difficult. there's like ten locks before reaching the gate of my emo-kingdom. grr. so annoying. the worst thing is, i dont know where i put the keys. oh wells. i believe that chances of people reading up to this stage is pretty slim, seeing that long posts may put some people off, which is a good thing i guess, cos i just need somewhere to release and recap, and blogs work just fine. okay i need to sleep soon, seeing that i havent had much of that in quite a while. oh gosh, and i absolutely love new american classic. that song just makes me.. think. but i think i've been doing too much of that, so enough for now. good night to you, reading all the way up til this end of the entry. much love, and happy new year to you. :)

THE BUDS.

i absolutely fancy spending time with you guys. 2007 ended on a FAB note with you bunch of buggers around, making things good.

rach. my implausibly remarkable darling.

terry. sheer, utter, unadulterated nonsense.

mel. fantastically, absolute exuberance.

kev. the ultimate tittle-tattle associate.

FANTABULOUS, i tell you.

wheee! hope 2008 goes swell.

love. <3

i need to stop it.



stop it!



now.



i really mean now.



you ka-preeter.



grr.

2008 has arrived.
so buckle up, and hold on tight.
for its gonna be splendid.