i should be happy.
and i am.

hmm. went to the hairdresser's.. woooo~ nice.
well, im not really looking forward to school nowadays.. dunno why though.
but im really excited with my new life as a trainee catechist. i feel there's so much for me to learn and experience.. cool eh? yeah.
so much homework..
sigh. sometimes i just wish i wasnt so stupid..
in any case, tired i am.
take care loves.

"no one, expect yourself, can make you feel lousy."
thats what mrs meya said in class today. interesting how something in othello can strike me. but in any case, it is pretty true.
i feel so silly sometimes. i dont know why i get so easily affected by small small things.. aahhh. someone just slap me please.
andrea lek is so lazy. will someone just please kick her in the butt and make her wake up? argh.
hmm. i just want posting results to come soon.. pretty pretty please.
yawn. wanna sleep now.. miss him loads.
help me.

its difficult to always be strong. im not talking about being physically fit. im thinking along the lines of being one who doesnt cry, or is usually the pillar for people who cant control their emotions.
i mean, its normal to be upset right? but why do people make such a big fuss whenever anyone just lets it all out? weird.
i thought i could handle anything that comes my way, but its just difficult. really difficult. i cant do things on my own. i just realised that i cant rely only on my own strength. its tough when i find that i have no one to turn to most of the time.. okay, not no one, just no confidante. the people closest to me are usually the one who are the source of my worry. sigh, i dont know why i cant open up to anyone easily. i guess life would be much less tense if i were to be able to easily pour out all my woes, and never hear of them again.
today, i find myself saying things i shouldnt have. it seems like i havent been thinking before i speak. thats really annoying, cos everytime i realise the mistakes i've made, i simply throw myself into a pit of demoralisation. i really dont mean to though. its just that, i find it difficult to pick myself up.
people assume i always forget the bad quickly, but i dont. and i really dont mean to be like that. its comes naturally. i think im just uber sensitive. thats like, whatever man. i mean, being like that only gets the people around me, and myself hurt.
waaahhhh. what the hell. my entries are all getting so emo gazemo.
oh well. hope tmr, and the rest of the week goes fine.
take care all.
<3

i find myself thinking about a lot of things lately. stuff like, what does it mean to actually love someone, and why do people get so upset over silly things. why dont i like to get drenched, and how do people actually maintain relationships despite the distance? why do some individuals like to annoy others, and why are some so hypocritical? why are people afraid to be nice, and why do i waste so much of my time thinking?
i dont like it when i think so much. my imagination somehow takes me so far off into my wildest dreams that when i come back, all i want to do is just hide back in my little bubble. the world is so different from the life i want to lead. some of the people i meet as i continue to age scare me. its scary to see people who laugh with you, but the moment you look away, suddenly throw a dagger straight into your back. im afraid.
what if i dont live up to expectations? to be a good daughter, to be a good friend.. to be a good peer, a good senior, or every a good girlfriend.. will people run away from me when they realise im not who i seem to be? that im not strong, or smart, or happy without a care in the world all the time? i get lazy, and cry too. im just like everyone else.
sometimes, i find myself such a disappointment. i couldnt even pass such a simple math paper, neither can i click with people easily, or understand people, or be less self-centered.. aahhh. i refuse to think anymore.

haha its such a long entry, that if you read it, im sure your eyes would hurt.
oh well.
take care loves.
hope you enjoy life.

i am tired.
i like shabin.
my friends rock.
food is good.
hope for the best.
give me strength.
catechism class.
mandy's birthday.
too bloated.
i like hugs.
hope to be happy.
give me cake.
more television.
valentine's soon.
less homework.
skulls and shoes.
i am yawning.
i love you.

yawn.

i hate feeling sick.
oh well.
school tmr..
man, im dreading it.
this is really bad man.
its like, gosh.
i need to not feel like that.

cat class today..
cc1s?
cute.
cc4s?
usual.
hope the next few years'll be fine.

hmm..
sailing?
he went.
til around tues or wed.
hope he stays safe..
:)

yawn.

man..
i hate the flu.
coughing too.
hmm.
why do people fall ill?
i wonder if its a good thing.
oh well.
the doc closed on me today.
maybe i'll go tmr.

i really hope everything goes well.
when will it come out?

laadeedum.
the henna on the back of my left hand looks weird.
cant really remove it totally.
oh well.

gokusen!
jieyi friend and i.
mcfly!
geri friend and i.
hana yori dango!
charmmzy friend and i.

:)