On Saturday one of the kindest, funnest, most loving people I know passed away. I feel as though she just came into our lives for a minute and left us longing for more. Julie Kirk became one of David's preschool teachers in January. I knew her to be kind and happy but hadn't spent any time around her until January. I went to school with
David for over a week to help him get comfortable and to reassure myself that my baby boy would be okay in school and away from me. It didn't take me long to know he would not only be fine but loved and adored. Julie had a way of making you feel special and important and David felt safe with her so quickly. He'd come home from school so excited to tell me "mom, I said excuse me cause miss Julie was in my way and she said I was awesome and gave me a token, her is so nice to me" or "mom, Miss Julie never yells at me, her just gives me hugs" How could I not love her just because she was so good to my baby... but it was deeper than that! Julie was like a
magnet, she drew you to her; her smile could brighten your day. And when she asked how you were you were, you knew she really wanted to know. she was truly an amazing woman...
On saturday night I had to try to explain to David what had happened. I told him that Miss Julie had to go live with heavenly father again and that she wouldn't be at school anymore. I explained it best I could then asked him if he had any questions "yes" he said "if you do real nice things then heavenly father loves you right mom" that was easy to answer... "mom, if you drink milk and water can you come back alive" .... after a few more questions I invited him to say a prayer, my little angel pled to heavenly father that his Miss Julie could come back alive and be his teacher again. It was heart breaking for me to know that this was just the beginning for my sweet little david. He is only 4 and the reality of death can't make complete sense to him.
Something most people don't know about David was that he was born with a very special gift. He feels others emotions like they are words. He speaks emotion better than he speaks english. He was the angel that kept me afloat after 2 miscarrages. He would wrap his little arms around my neck and cuddle for hours. He is like therapy to the soul. an energetic little boy but so aware of everyones feelings. Well today was his first day back at school; I was nervous sending him because I know the reality that he is going to experience. His Miss Julie wasn't going to be there. He'd been quieter and quick to cry which is very unlike him but tonight as his big brother said the prayer for scripture study and blessed the kirk family I felt my babies whole body quiver. He snuggled under my chin and pulled my arms around him. I so badly wanted to take away all those feelings he has to have of lonely and longing for his friend but know because of who he is, he is also feeling the longing of his teachers and friends. He fell asleep in my arms tonight and when I tucked him into bed he woke up long enough to ask me to sleep with him. I know he has a hole he is longing to fill. My only solace is that I have a testimony that Jesus is the Christ and my Father in Heaven has a plan. I know that he knows me and my baby and that all our experiences mold us into what we need to be as long as we are faithful. I am so grateful that I know the plan of salvation and can explain it to him in the simplest of terms. Yes Miss Julie is gone but she is with heavenly father, and yes you will see her again. and Now I know that Heaven seems like a safer place to my David because someone he knows and loves is there. Life is hard and often a heart ache but it is also beautiful and rewarding. It was a gift having Julie in our life even if it was a minute; it was worth it.
