There's no way to say what everyone feels in this world... Small chats with friends and series of events at home, makes me ponder.. Whatever is life for? What's the purpose?
In this concrete jungle, within all the four walls, we can never see each other's sorrows and misery..
Your friends all look forward to going home.. To have dinner, to rest, watch TV, play games, talk to family.. But you dread it all.. Dread what you're going to see at home.. Dread what you're going to hear at home.. Dread what you're going to feel at home.. What would you have done?
Blur images of your life flashes past and suddenly you're of age to do anything.. But on and on... Somebody pressed the fast-forward button of your life towards the end.. And find that you have spent so much of your years in fruitless labour.. And also going to end it fruitlessly..
And there's so much more to things in life.. Which has.. No WaY tO sAy...
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 11:24 PM
ToDaY~!! ShOe~!!
Today.. went out with Eping, Andrea and Yvette..
At first wanted to go Queensway.. But then cos' wanted to go Raffles City.. So go town... Eat at Far East.. Had the egg floss thingy, Oyster Mee Shua. Shared calamari and fried chicken with the 3.. I was so hungry I finished everything.. But we still left a piece of chicken... That's for erm.. I dunno.. Then the 3 was a bit amazed that I can finish all the food.. What to say.. I'm a junk bin... Hur hur...
Then go Lido.. See see... Then we saw the legendary "Xu Liu Shan"!! The 3 had Mango Sago.. (Izzit?) And I had Aloe Vera Jelly and Mango.. The drink was... Fantastic!!!!!!! We talked a lot.. And we found that Andrea.. The Baby.. Has a very very matured thinking.. She's our idol man...
Yvette left for her ballet lesson.. Left the 3 weird combination go Taka.. Walk walk and went to Stadium.. And I found the shoe I want.. Hur hur.. So excited sia... But then the person a bit attitude.. Hmm... Nvm.. I today tahan.. Saw a lot of clothes... Damn nice.. But no $$ to buy..
Went to Heeren.. Oh ya.. Then Andrea want to buy long sleeve shirt.. But then we see here see there.. Like.. Erm... Ya.. So.. Went to Cineleisure..
Also see see.. After a "O ya beh ya som" of deciding which place to go... Still went to KFC... Cos E Ping wanted to eat Pop corn chicken.. Ya.. She ate again.. Then we talk somemore.. After that head out for home.. Then when crossing road.. Got car come and Andrea said something like "Lai zhuang wo ba.. Wo bu pa.. Jing tian de microbio rang wo hen xia chui.." E Ping and me were like.. Huh? "Xia Chui"?? Then the Andrea still say until very "shun" like that.. LoL... Ya.. So next time when you're depressed, use the word "xia chui"..
After that.. when crossing road.. Dunno why E Ping go and follow the person giving out leaflet instead of crossing the road.. LoL... What's happening to both of them..? Aiyoh..
But today was a very fun day.. LoL... And I got my shoe!! Hehe... \/ Peace everyone...
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 8:51 PM
Apologies for today and before..
Hey hey.. Ok... I got apologies for today and before... Suddenly got the urge.. Dunno why.. Sorry to all my family.. For not playing a worthy part and not being mindful...
Sorry to all my Secondary school friends for not keeping contact with you all and if I have done anything wrong in the last few years.. I really really sorry...
Sorry to my Poly friends~!! You all have made a difference in my life.. Be it people from my class, lecture hall or GLs... You all have made me learn a lot.. And 1Fo8, you people rocks~!! Thanks for making me happy all these days!!! And I'm sorry for all the bad things I've done... And all my bad points.. I will try to change... Thank you!!
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 9:48 PM
mY LiFe SuCks..
Today... Open House.. Quite interesting.. Selling Nachos and nuts.. Then the Alphagel thing.. One group of girls si bay guai lan.. Peak period a lot of people.. Thanks to Hui Ting.. Hehe... After that clear up.. Eat KFC... That's all........ Other than today.... And every other day... My life just SUCKS...
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 9:47 PM
NoThiNg...
Today... Go school then go work... Ask Yah Fong dun go but then cannot.. In the end she cannot tahan go home... Hope she alright now.. Tomorrow dunno going for the flag day or not.. Now 3++ so dun think need to sleep liao..
I have a story for you all to read.. Its quite touching and sad.. Meaningful also.. Courtesy of Shu Juan's signature in the forum, my stupid "chong dong", and Hong Wei who sent it to me..
Here goes..
Tree
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting.
I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U.
There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, and doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility.
Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her.
I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately and I don't have to give up everything just for her.
The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watches me chase after gals, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years. She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director.
When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile and say "Go on!" before running off.
The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day.
When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend.
I shouted at her and her eyes were filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laughs and joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together.
I know who the guy is. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy, full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school. I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile and congratulate her.
When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't.
Tears rolled down and I broke down and cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too?
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?"
Leaf
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why?
Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage.
During the 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be described by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemons. Sourness to the extreme limit.
They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a month, he got together with another gal.
I like him and I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he loves me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt.
Time after time, my heart was hurt.
I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he doesn't like me, why does he treat me so well? It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend.
Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right?
Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, and love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come and love me.
It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him.
The 3 years were the hardest to go through and I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting.
The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompanies me for 3 years. Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly.
From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm and gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree.
In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart.
I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away and better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile and didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?
Wind
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away.
When I first met her, it was 1 month after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors and me playing soccer.
During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes.
Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something is wrong. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well.
I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left.
The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note and gave to her. She was surprised.
She looked at me, smiled and accepts the note. The next day, she appeared and passes me a note and left.
"Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away."
"It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It's because leaf never want to leave tree." I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me and accept my presents and phone calls.
I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times.
Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over.
I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone.
I asked "What are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head."
"Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly.
I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place and press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door, I hugged her tightly.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 3:27 AM
HahA...
Hur hur.. Dunno what title to put.. So I just put anyhow la..
Today was an interesting day.. Took cab to school again... And the taxi driver also ask me about poly school fees.. ?-?
Lessons was as boring as usual.. Then chat chat in library with Wen lin and E ping.. Then we borrowed books for IPC... At first we didn't know the time.. Until Ling Ling told us.. Then we were like "Huh?! So fast?!" LoL... Time flies when you weren't noticing...
GL training.. Interesting.. As usual.. Still cannot run.. Games were interesting..
First station we went to the Orcahrd road then it was like blind fold game.. Then Suraj had to arrange us in our numbers.. Then we have to feed each other Planta.. Grroooosssss.... But I spit it outin the end on my spoon... Oh ya.. Then they were like painting on our faces when we were blindfolded.. So interesting..
Second station.. Was at the stadium there... Some thing of a spider web game.. Adelyn and I were commanders for the 1st round.. Then instructing them.. I got something of a communication problem also.. Dunno how to say... Then 2nd round Adelyn and me pair up again.. Then Yushiri (think I spell wrongly?) guide us.. LoL... Quite fun.. Gena more paint..
Third station.. Kismis.. (Dunno how to spell also..) A balloon game.. The one where you have to follow the person instructions.. Then a bit confusing.. Pamela and Joel were in the same station.. Hur hur... I got out in the second station.. LoL... CMI sia.. Cmi sia..
Forth station.. Pyramids.. The Rapist, Nun, Policemen game.. Interesting.. We wasted more than half our time thinking about our transport then in the end we just anyhow put the cardboard and paper on the floor and jump across..Creative game too..
Fifth station.. LT 20? Hong wei and Bernard's game.. Ron was the person at the mine.. Then the rest of us were the victims to be punished.. Ron dunno where to go.. But then also.. LIke everywhere also got mine.. Hai yo.. Mr Bernard.. Then keep on "am cio" when we gena mine.. Then Hong Wei also very happy about us getting punishment.. But then punishment got lemon and celery and bittergourd.. LoL.. Then Ron, Suraj and I were eating the lemon and the celery.. Hur hur.. Can go on diet liao.. Then when we gena the water one we like using the water to clean off the paint also.. LoL...
After that went back to Pyramids.. The Bomb game.. Got milk water, Milo, starch in the bombs.. Then Alvin just come straight at us and bomb our candle.. In the end our candle also "liao".. Then people juyst anyhow bomb.. Dunno what was happening also.. Water everywhere.. LoL.. and the smell was milky.. Very milky..
After that accompany E Ping to go Kismis take shower.. Ah Pang, Yi Chao, Alvin, Royston, Ashton, Benjamin and Kelvin was there too... They were like having a party inside the toilet.. Then the stupid light went off when E Ping and I wanted to walk out.. We just stun there for a while then "Ahhh~!!!!" all the way out and we were still shouting.. The stupid lights.. Go off so early..
LoL.. So much about today's training.. Dunno what to say also.. Oh ya.. My wind tree leaf story... Hmm.. Next time ba... LoL...
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 1:40 AM
SiAnZ...
Haha... Found that I didn't update blog 4 days liao... Hmm.. Dunno what to write..
Pass few days just work, work and work... Then cannot wake up everyday...
Yesterday just "pon" one lecture and one tutorial... So fun... Just bcos of one stupid gastric pain... Idiot.. And I studied so hard for the maths test.. Then didn't go... S.H.I.T... Yah Fong MC so did my practical with E Ping.. Turn out the microscope was of such a good quality.. LoL... Then we anti-social go to the other side and do.. And.. Wa lah~! The cells show themselves clearly.. Then after measurement.. Found that S.C (Saccharomyces cerevisiae) is the widest... -_- No wonder I also quite wide...
Today... Mr Chow was on MC... Then lecture only starts at 3.. Which was a good thing cos' I slpet until like.. 12 pm? Then copy some things.. Do some homework... And turns out I'm going to be late... Took cab then the driver was like sooo noisy sia... Keep on asking me about what we do in Poly.. What's my course like... Then dunno what he talking about... I was already going to sleep already... Then at first want to ask him enter through the SIM entrance.. He jit tao keep on talking.. And I give up... Then go through the main entrance... I nearly got lost.. Turn one whole circle.. So interesting.. Then reach there...
Turn out Andrea they all haben reach... Then go canteen 5 buy "fan choi" saw Ashton rotting there.. Then go up.. Eat my "fan choi"... Deeelicious... Andrea they all arrived.. Went for Mdm Wong's lecture... So interesting...
Walked to SIM bus stop w/ Yvette, Andrea and E Ping.. On the way saw 74 then want to rush there... But then we too slow liao.. >.<" Then take the other one.. And the other 2 pigs take cab.. LoL... On the bus saw Jun Jie.. Then crap a lot.. After that talk talk with E ping.... And now I'm home...
Such an interesting day... Such a long entry... A bit boring... LoL.......
Actually I have a story want to post.. But then nobody have.. The wind tree leaf one... Ah.. so sad.. Nvm... I will try to find.. Hur hur...
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 8:58 PM
Ah~!!!!!!!!!
Ok... I know its late... But I just cannot stand it.. I have to say it out..
There's this black dog which I think has been abandoned on the field at the back of my flat.. And this dog is like very "ke lian" lor!!! It keeps on barking and barking like in hope of its owner come find him or somebody give him some food or what.. Then it does not dare to go to the coffeeshop for food cos' there got people.. Then it just walk here walk there on the field without any food or shelter.. Then people who walk pass it still mimick its barks.. F**k those people!!
Then I went to the SPCA website to check.. And its like.. I want to kill them... To let them adopt a stray dog.. The dog have to be with me.. And with me at the time when they can make it to my area.. Wah... Then if dunno what " cannto do something then have to charge $15 for their transport fee... I know la.. They got not enough space for stray dogs.. But then... Can think for the dogs or not?! Very poor thing lor!! No food, no shelter, no nothing!! Say want to help.. But then still need conditions..
I also want to help the dog.. But then.. Look at my condition.. I can't help it!! I at most only can go down there.. Pat it.. Give it some "love" only.. Nvm... I talking crap here... Say so much also cannot help the dog..
"Xiao hei.. wo dui bu qi ni!!"
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 1:39 AM
WeAk..
Ah... Today S and W again.... Again.. I feel weak.. Cannot run... Yesterday GL training also cannot run.. What's happening to me... Aiyoh...
Today ate Snow Ice again!! Its really nice.. Hmm.. Maybe appeal to Ngee Ann for a stall... Or maybe can even set up the stall on our own..
O ya.. Today O com there was a topic very interesting.. And relevant to me..
"Would you choose a job that you like? Or a job with a high pay?"
Bcos I didn't for O com last week.. I had to speak 2 times and the 2nd time i spoke about this..
If given a choice.. Who wouldn't choose a job they like? Who will stupid stupid go and choose a job they don't like and dreading everyday to work?
But.. Look at reality.. What kind of a world are we living in? A very very very "xian shi" kind of place.. No money, no talk.. No money, no life.. No money, you can't even do anything.. Everything needs money.. And to strife in this world, you have to have loads of money.. You have to be rich.. And you will stay worry free... Unless you count worrying that your money would be stolen..
Even with a flat pay of say.. $3000 per month and you live on your own.. Its not even enough.. This is the world.. That's why there's so much evil people arouind you who wants to strife to the top using any methods.. Why? Because stiving to the top means more money and more money means a better life.. We can't blame people for being money minded.. Its the way the society has brought it to us.. We live in this world just to earn money and live our lives...
Ya... No money... And you're as good as dead... That's what I am...
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 10:40 PM
HaPpY NeW YeaR~~!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR Everyone!!!!!!!!
A new year has come.. But seems like nothing has changed for me yet.. Life still sux the same.. Still is in the same mess.. Or does it sux even more and get even messier? Such a great time to owe people money and let your superiors condemn you..
PMS nowadays.. Even gena said that I'm very quiet during work.. Excuse me.. That's because I'm in a damn good mood to talk.. And the one saying I'm quiet is the new manager.. Actually he's not new.. He just came back to Raffles form Selegie.. Quiet am I? Then let it be...
School tomorrow.. Haven't do MOL... Haven't do tutorial... Haven't pack bag.. HAven't finish all the things I've been trying to do all year long.. Life's in a mess.. Hope that they won't kao bay tomorrow.. Hope that I won't PMS tomorrow.. Yeah... I can go jump..
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 1:09 AM
SC.. or Kerry?
aka Black
aka Ah Chan
06231987
SLEEP
Daydreaming~
$$$$$
J-pop & Manga
锦户 亮 (Kanjani8)
生田 斗真
森田 刚 (V6)
Bleach
the '仲良's
Bah Bah 6 Jie Mei
the Gang
GFDT Club
Xiao Mei
Xiao Qiangs..
Esp those that flies!
an instrument of my own
bike and car license
honda jazz
honda CBF 150
a new bike
a new mp3
a permanent slimdown
more shirts
more money
a long long long break..
the piano.. so someone..
song composing
master my instrument
master the plane
cha do
Jap (languange)
first aiding
swimming (oops)
dance (heh??)
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