Saturday, February 09, 2008
oh the cycle,
the repetition feels its weight about my shoulders.
everytime progression is ready,
the wheel drags my feet apart.
i have not done my part today.
convicted by Your spirit, led by Your word
7:51 AM
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
i realise i can't stop missing you. sometimes isolation leaves you so insecure of company you'd rather be alone. my instability has gotten the better of me tonight, so i shall sleep it off. and remember of His promises.
So we bottled and shelved all our regrets,
Let them ferment and came back to our senses,
Drove back home and slept a few days,
Woke up and laughed at how stupid we used to be,
convicted by Your spirit, led by Your word
7:47 AM
Sunday, December 09, 2007
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him." 1 john 3.
i think it is pretty clear why the world is so lost, how this black hole of "void-ness" within our souls suck the very lives out of us. many might choose to fill it with materials, or wild passions, or even a fantasy world in which they shall forever live in their minds. the world is in dire need of a saviour, they just choose not to recognize it.
thank you Father, for giving me this heart of compassion. i too pray that your Spirit would touch those around me, especially my group of friends in school (or used to be in school haha). reach below this superficial surfaces oh Lord and grab at their hearts, that they might truly be able to understand Your will.
i want to write another song! i'm brimming with words, so i just need a bit more inspiration to tip the glass over. and well, a nice melody and key to go with. i know someone who would dearly love to do this with me, but sadly i need to find time. NS shouldn't be called national service, but "NOOOOOOOO......... sian".
let change then.
convicted by Your spirit, led by Your word
7:09 PM
Saturday, November 17, 2007
thus begins my 1 month hiatus from institution. its quite ironic that once all the stress is lifted and the burdens shaken off my shoulders, i can't sleep for the simple reason that there's nothing. perhaps this is testament to how IB has ruined us, but i'm not going to start on that anymore.
its over, its over, its over, its over. way to go, when you complete your last day in school by losing your oh-so-favourite tie of redbluegold. i don't really know whether i've come out more ac than ever, but i have to admit the mis-matched species emblazed over our crest has brought out a confidence i would never have displayed if i had been in any other school. we're not proud of our school because of our school spirit, nor our school unity, nor the name that we carry with as we leave. but rather i am proud of what i have become, ac.
but i have this to say about nanhua. i am extremely thankful to God that he put me into that wonderful school. i'll always remember the series of events that led my parents to enroll me there, and i am just amazed to know of the greatness of His plans. i began my ac life resenting my stint in nanhua, because of the culture shock. and how i grudgingly admitted i would have enjoyed my early years so much more within the ac boundaries of junior and primary. yet as i look back now, nanhua instilled moral values that has never really left the students after they are long gone. i look at my ex-primary mates in ac, despite the hypocritical and poorly-valued school we resided in, almost everyone of us remained as we were. a little wilder maybe, a little cruder maybe, but still reminiscent of what we know we were brought up for. i can still see remnants of the nanhua in those from other colleges as well, so perhaps the greater influence has been the one of being nh.
i am extremely proud to be ac. i don't care what other people think or say, you must be a guy to truly understand being ac. i am also extremely proud to have come from nanhua, and i know everyone who has been there can testify to this too. so now primary secondary and jc has ended, therein lies the beginning steps of the greater education we shall behold. next, we learn how to be a man, and then how to be a husband, and finally how to be a father. really i can't wait.
but hold, there's still this month of hiatus. i suppose this month is especially significant. it symbolizes my transition from institution to institution, but it is also the month i shall finally face my demons. i've started cursing again and its getting way too frequent that it warrants heavy self-control. there are things i want to fix, people i want to see and talk to. but that can wait, until what i see as being a christian finally coincides with what God sees me as.
my final question i leave before i go hum around. Psychology or Medicine. Mind over body.
convicted by Your spirit, led by Your word
7:48 AM
Thursday, November 08, 2007
i realise that my blog is filled with words in praise to God. i suppose that as i blog my worst within, it serves to remind me that all is not lost and there's a way out.
but as i look through again, i realise how hypocritically wrong i've become. hence i'm intending to stop posting my thoughts here, until they are in line with what He is.
i wanna see the broken hearts,
finding hope in God above.
i wanna know i'm doing all i can.
.... i pray to see your love become our cause.
won't stop believing,
you alone are, you alone are God
in You there's freedom....
convicted by Your spirit, led by Your word
5:39 PM
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
the most painful thing about the bubble of expectations you blow within yourself, is that when it bursts you realize how bloody heavy it is.
how it weighs on my heart. No, not even you.
convicted by Your spirit, led by Your word
8:53 AM
Sunday, November 04, 2007
the hope, the change,
the second chance i've gained.
ok. so i've started thinking again tonight. but its quite frequent on sunday nights. oh well.
convicted by Your spirit, led by Your word
7:32 AM
