Lessons of the Atonement

Today, my lesson in Sunday school was focused on the atonement. I realized something that I had known but didn't understand quite in the same way. As we discussed the five steps of repentance, I saw how it could be applied to both repentance and forgiveness and how the atonement takes care of both. The first step is to recognize something is wrong, that you've sinned, that a change is required or desired, that you've been hurt or offended. Step 2 is to feel godly sorrow. This is different from feeling bad about being caught. This is desiring a change and suffering from the wrong or consequence of the action. That feeling leads us to God in prayer or pride in ignoring the sorrow, taking revenge, or wallowing in self pity, guilt, shame, etc. Satan wants us to believe that We are not worthy of being healed or forgiven. We can choose to turn to God and the healing power of the Atonement or continue in suffering the consequences. The 3rd step is praying to God and confessing the sin, acknowledging the pain of offense, recognizing in prayer that we are helpless to overcome the weakness on our own. We ask for help to overcome that weakness. We pray for forgiveness or help to forgive. Step 4 is restitution. We make it right as much as we can. Apologize if appropriate. Forgive if appropriate. Pay for damage done if possible. While trying to make it right, we need to recognize that we may never be able to fully make restitution. In fact rarely will we be able to do so. That is where the miracle of the atonement happens. Christ lends us the mercy of forgiveness. We are filled with his love and the burden is lifted and we are cleansed from sin. The offended finds justice because Christ can heal us from the grievous sins and offenses of others. He is the one who makes us whole again.  In this way both offended and offender are freed from the burden of the offense. The last step 5 is to forsake the sin. For the offended, this is letting it go. Not to dwell on the offense any longer or rehash it or bring it back up. For the offender its making your best effort to let go of the bad habit and replace it with a good habit. It's no longer feeling the desire to sin again. Both parties involved in this process feel the mercy and love of God. We are told that God will forgive whom he will forgive, but of us it is required to forgive all men. That is because the process for both parties is personal. An offender may choose to repent or not. An offended may choose to forgive or not. Each is entitled to choose their own path to happiness and peace that comes with the healing power of the atonement. If we truly want to be happy we will be quick to repent and quick to forgive. Then we may abound in the love of God always and ultimately return to live with God again in His presence.

Jessica performances in 2016

Jazz Cafe 2016

Ammon

So I've blogged about this little guy before, but I have some updates. Lest anyone think I have any negative feelings about this kid- think again. He brings so much joy to our family with his wit and sense of humor and antics. You can't help but feel happy around him and love his adorable little sweet self. However - beyond his cuteness, there is definitely some challenges for this little boy. He's been developmentally delayed since birth and though not obvious, you get a sense that he's not exactly normal. Well we had him tested after he qualified for ECI services at 13 months. The tests came back negative for what we were looking for. I decided to leave it alone and trust. When he was about to turn 3, he was tested by the school and qualified for PEAR speech services at the time. After a semester, they realized he needed more help than just speech services. Some tried to blame water behind his ear drums as the cause for the speech delays, but that didn't sit well with me. If that was the case, he wouldn't have been delayed in sitting up, eating, crawling, walking, fine motor skills, etc. Things that have nothing to do with speech. He passed the tests due to lots of work on the part of the ECI team during his early years. But after a semester of no help at all, I began to wonder how his needs would be met while I was at work and he wasn't getting OT services anymore. He didn't necessarily digress unless you consider not eating with his utensils as he should a digression. Fortunately, the school recognized that he wasn't making as much progress as they would like to see and offered to place him in PPCD for the remainder of his time. It's been great! 2 tubal surgeries and lots of practice later, this kid can finally be somewhat understood. He still marbles his words to a degree and if you don't know the context it's sometimes hard to know what he is talking about. He finally potty trained for the new year after 18 months of hard work. He's coming along - but I worried that it wouldn't be enough. 

Next fall he will be 5 and it's time for kindergarten. Yikes! I see the signs to drop your children off and let them walk to their room. Will he go there? I have some doubts. Would you let your 3 yr old find their classroom alone? Well there are some pretty smart 3 yr olds that might be able to handle that. My challenged 4.5 yr old worries me in that department. In his ARD I was told that it would be very helpful to have a diagnosis or other health impairment that we can use to qualify him for more services than just pull out for speech services. I'm working on it!

Last month we met the Genetics Doctor. She talked with us for 1 1/2 hours and said - well there is definitely something, I just don't know what it is. Then she recommended a full chromosomal test that costs $10000. She said her office would look into the out of pocket expense and get back to me within a few weeks. I got an email saying that with insurance it would cost a little under $6000. I was in shock and reeling a bit, but I held on to my faith. They asked for income and family size and said they'd get back to me. Last week I got another email saying that it was brought down to under $500. Next step is to go to the lab and get our blood taken and pray they will find whatever this is. 

Meanwhile - enjoy watching his version of Happy Birthday a few nights before Christmas when he got his new PJs. Gifts must mean birthdays right?

Lily sings

Well well well. . . I knew Lily could sing, but she slayed it last Tuesday night at the 5th grade performance. This little lady is growing up and getting ready for Middle School next year. We've been debating which one she'll go to for a year or more. After all is said and done she may very well end up at her zoned school where she can take all the classes she wants including 2 fine arts, Spanish AND dance! We saw the first musical put on by this school last weekend. Let's say it wasn't the best production I've ever seen, and at first it was a turn off for my little perfectionist. But then I let her know that 1. At least they had a musical. 2. Her talent is not defined by other talents. 3. It's what you do with the opportunities afforded you that count. We shall see.