I was shopping last week and grabbed a tube of toothpaste that looked like the kind I usually get for the kids. Gavin saw it and asked if it was for him. I said yes and your sisters. He couldn't wait to brush his teeth. A few minutes later he came out to the kitchen with a sour look on his face and toothpaste around his lips.
"Mom, I don't think that toothpaste is for kids."
"Why not?"
"It's spicy."
Right brand, wrong kind.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Family Fued
If you ask Gavin, there's a baby brother in my tummy. If you ask Lily, there's a sister. That's the current family fued. If you ask me, I'm just fighting nausea constantly. Can't wait for the first trimester to be complete so I can regain some energy and perhaps focus on more than trying not to vomit. Point in case - I remembered today at 3:15 that Jessica had a talk in primary. I still can't remember what the topic was supposed to be on. Well. To put it shortly, it didn't happen.
How do I feel about being pregnant? I'm sure there are some out there saying, "I told you so." I suppose I'll take it. I guess I don't mind hearing that since having one more child has been my heart's desire since we lost the last baby in March of 2009. Frankly I gave up and decided it was time to move on and enjoy the family we've already created. I guess this one finally decided it was time.
And perhaps I shouldn't have been so hasty in giving up. Honestly we gave up in July, because I didn't feel like moving all that baby stuff in the attic. I'm sure there were plenty at our garage sale who benefited from our marked down items. I'm not ready to decide what to replace just yet, but I'm sure we'll probably spend more than we made. There are worse problems to have.
Now that it finally happened, things kind of make more sense. A couple of years ago, I was waiting to find out if our efforts had had any results and researching our options. The options at the time scared me and it was a great relief to discover that I was NOT pregnant as much as I wanted this baby to come, I knew the circumstances were wrong. I found myself counseling with the Lord and realizing a couple of things needed to change in order for us to be pregnant again. First - I needed insurance. CHIP was NOT a good option for the risks I might face after having to experience a miscarriage and DNC as well as PIH with Gavin. Coverage for only the baby and a live birth just would not do. Thus came the decision that I needed to go back to work.
Second - We needed to live closer to the hospital. Our luck with Gavin was sure to be short lived. The stress about going into labor and delivering in the car on the way was just too much to take.
Third- After getting a job, I realized that driving that hour commute one way would probably kill me if I were pregnant. I kind of needed to be closer to work. I struggled with this one as I felt like surely the Lord would take care of me if required, but it would still be nice.
So now that I am pregnant. I can see the miracles at hand. What appeared to be somewhat selfish on my part were really mountains being moved so this little one could safely come into the world with Mom in tact. I have insurance and we have finally been able to move closer to the hospital and work. So I guess the timing is pretty perfect even though I was a little impatient, a trend that is not uncommon to my being.
Now my prayer is not to NOT be sick. Just to endure it and see a healthy end result. I must admit the first few weeks were full of denial. Despite the surety of the doctor and nurses, I wouldn't believe it until I saw a strong steady heartbeat and on time development. At 7 weeks, I got that reassurance. Now at almost ten weeks, I'm excited for the next visit at 12 to see another ultrasound and the development.
My cousin shared that her pregnancy has brought mixed emotions. I can believe it. I suppose I'm going through a similar experience. It's hard to have hope for something wonderful when you know it could just as easily go the other way. No one is immune to adversity, sadness, or disappointment. I just hope that all will turn out well this time.
If nothing else - I've learned to appreciate the children I have. The joy that they can bring. Holding them closer. Loving them a little more. Teaching them what I can. They are little for such a short time. They grow up so fast. It's hard to believe Jessica is already 9. Where did the years go?
Another thing that is different this time around is that the kids are so excited. They are all looking forward to this baby. Whether it's a girl or a boy, this baby will be well loved and welcomed.Gavin is ready to teach him baseball, and how to play with cars. Lily is ready to teach her how to play dress up and have a tea party. Jessica is ready to cuddle and feed and nurture whatever gender we may have. Stay tuned for more to come. We should probably find out in January what the resolution of this battle will be.
How do I feel about being pregnant? I'm sure there are some out there saying, "I told you so." I suppose I'll take it. I guess I don't mind hearing that since having one more child has been my heart's desire since we lost the last baby in March of 2009. Frankly I gave up and decided it was time to move on and enjoy the family we've already created. I guess this one finally decided it was time.
And perhaps I shouldn't have been so hasty in giving up. Honestly we gave up in July, because I didn't feel like moving all that baby stuff in the attic. I'm sure there were plenty at our garage sale who benefited from our marked down items. I'm not ready to decide what to replace just yet, but I'm sure we'll probably spend more than we made. There are worse problems to have.
Now that it finally happened, things kind of make more sense. A couple of years ago, I was waiting to find out if our efforts had had any results and researching our options. The options at the time scared me and it was a great relief to discover that I was NOT pregnant as much as I wanted this baby to come, I knew the circumstances were wrong. I found myself counseling with the Lord and realizing a couple of things needed to change in order for us to be pregnant again. First - I needed insurance. CHIP was NOT a good option for the risks I might face after having to experience a miscarriage and DNC as well as PIH with Gavin. Coverage for only the baby and a live birth just would not do. Thus came the decision that I needed to go back to work.
Second - We needed to live closer to the hospital. Our luck with Gavin was sure to be short lived. The stress about going into labor and delivering in the car on the way was just too much to take.
Third- After getting a job, I realized that driving that hour commute one way would probably kill me if I were pregnant. I kind of needed to be closer to work. I struggled with this one as I felt like surely the Lord would take care of me if required, but it would still be nice.
So now that I am pregnant. I can see the miracles at hand. What appeared to be somewhat selfish on my part were really mountains being moved so this little one could safely come into the world with Mom in tact. I have insurance and we have finally been able to move closer to the hospital and work. So I guess the timing is pretty perfect even though I was a little impatient, a trend that is not uncommon to my being.
Now my prayer is not to NOT be sick. Just to endure it and see a healthy end result. I must admit the first few weeks were full of denial. Despite the surety of the doctor and nurses, I wouldn't believe it until I saw a strong steady heartbeat and on time development. At 7 weeks, I got that reassurance. Now at almost ten weeks, I'm excited for the next visit at 12 to see another ultrasound and the development.
My cousin shared that her pregnancy has brought mixed emotions. I can believe it. I suppose I'm going through a similar experience. It's hard to have hope for something wonderful when you know it could just as easily go the other way. No one is immune to adversity, sadness, or disappointment. I just hope that all will turn out well this time.
If nothing else - I've learned to appreciate the children I have. The joy that they can bring. Holding them closer. Loving them a little more. Teaching them what I can. They are little for such a short time. They grow up so fast. It's hard to believe Jessica is already 9. Where did the years go?
Another thing that is different this time around is that the kids are so excited. They are all looking forward to this baby. Whether it's a girl or a boy, this baby will be well loved and welcomed.Gavin is ready to teach him baseball, and how to play with cars. Lily is ready to teach her how to play dress up and have a tea party. Jessica is ready to cuddle and feed and nurture whatever gender we may have. Stay tuned for more to come. We should probably find out in January what the resolution of this battle will be.
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