Dia de tristeza

January 2005 just before leaving to go back home to Texas. This was the last time we saw Clara Guerra (Grandma with her hand on Jhonny's shoulder) in person. We recieved the news this afternoon that she passed away at 11:00am this morning after struggling with a series of heart attacks and hospitalization. We knew the time was near, but it came all too soon anyway. We've been tossing around the idea of sending Jhonny back this summer, but just didn't have the money or the pass port ready to go.
Jhonny tried calling all week, but no one answered the phone. They were likely at the hospital so she could undergo treatments.
I remember Clara laying on her bed complaining about her chest hurting. It didn't seem to slow her down too much. She still made the best chicken soup according to Jhonny. Although I might disagree, you can't convince him of that and I doubt I will ever come close to replicating it. I also remember how sweet she was to me. Always with a smile and beso. I often teased Jhonny that she loved me more than him.
 I didn't always understand her quick spanish, but her eyes twinkled and she was kind. She wanted to keep Jessica when we were there. She said, "Just leave her here for a year." Uhh, no, but that was her. She took in everyone. Almost all of Jhonny's siblings were raised for a while under her roof.
My first recollection was when I dropped off Jhonny. I heard her voice bellowing out at someone. I've often heard Jhonny with that same bellow at our kids. It reminds me of her. And then when she saw me she stopped short wondering who I was. I came in, introduced myself and kissed her on the cheek (Venezuelan culture). It took her by surprise I think and she sweetened right up. After that she and her husband were often blessing me and sending their greetings to my parents.
I think I broke her heart when I announced that we would be coming back to the states before Jessica was born. I had been telling Jhonny to tell her for a while and I was left in a precarious position of letting her know when confronted with a direct question about our plans. She didn't say anything, but I could tell she didn't care to hear that news. I was taking her baby and great grand baby away.
So when I felt the inspiration to go back in 2005, I couldn't ignore it. Mostly because I felt that she would never forgive me for keeping her great grandbaby away from meeting her in this life. I'm glad now that we have these photos and the memories. I wish we could have afforded to travel there every summer. If the price of flights were only cheaper, we might have attempted it.
Now, we have our memories and they have our prayers. Clara - we will miss you. Especially tu hijo.

To Move or Not to Move, that's been the question

For the past year I have been commuting over 80 miles a day round trip. I'm not the only one here that does it, and I could get used to it if necessary. However, the look on my kids' hungry faces when I get home just before bedtime was taking it's toll. So I've been in turmoil for a while wondering if taking this job that I really couldn't pass up for so many reasons was the right thing to do.
My conclusion as I tossed around the pros and cons always came up to the same thing - we need to move. Prayer left me with the same conclusion and so I figured one year and then Jhonny can find a job and we'll pack it up when we sell the house.
For a year the house has been on the market. Nothing! No bites, nada. Then the hiring freeze in Round Rock and most of the Austin area.  ?? I wondered if I had been wrong in my impression. Maybe I DID choose wrong and should have fought harder to stay?
I checked the local vacancies and there was one available for almost what I wanted even though it was less money, I could be home for my kids. It sounded good to me. We like our home and our branch family. But I was left undecided. I decided to go to the temple to work it out.
The pros and cons were left hanging there and finally I opened the scriptures and said, "What do I do?" The scripture I read made little sense to me, but the confirmation of the spirit told me it was my answer. Okay. I thought about the words I read and tried to imagine how it fit my situation. Then later that day I noticed that the hiring freeze had been lifted. Jhonny contacted a principal he'd met earlier and was invited to interview. But we weren't told an answer right away.
Later that week I watched a BYU TV thing about Lot's wife and not looking back. That impressed me. Here I am with a possible opportunity for our family's future and I'm torn with what I'm leaving behind and looking forward to the next step. I realized that it's time to look forward and not worry about the past or what I'm leaving behind. I love it here, but there's something else waiting. I don't know all that's waiting, but I know we need to move forward with faith and gratitude.
THEN we got the news late on Monday that Jhonny was made an offer. On Tuesday he was let go from his contract in Cameron. Then I was all a panic about how we would financially and physically pull this off. I had to remind myself that if this is the Lord's will, it will happen. Be calm and have faith.
The scripture  I read in the temple began to make sense. It said (and I paraphrase to what I got out of it) to establish a place for my family and the members would help support my family in my absence. This may seem strange to others, but it was just what I needed to get a priority list together on what to tackle first. Find a place for my family, then look for day care.
The next part of the scripture was about serving the Lord. That part perhaps was what made me suspect the answer was in a move. It didn't say to quit my job or come home. I have often felt that the two hours a day I have spent driving could be better spent devoting time to my callings. If we moved, I would earn those hours back a little and perhaps be of better use somehow.

Wednesday a member who used to live in Taylor and now resides in Virginia called President Daniels wondering if he knew of anyone who might have a place to rent. They have one daughter in high school and a son serving in the military. He works with software programming. Hmmm. Sounds like a family meant for this branch. That evening as I shared our news with Chanda, she mentioned it. The next day I got his info and called. Turns out we have more than the space they need for much less than they were willing to pay. I know I could have taken advantage of that, but just thinking that the Lord had placed this opportunity in our lap stopped me from doing so and I quoted him the price we had discussed. He was happy and relieved at his good fortune. I was amazed. I always felt like when the time was right, it would happen quickly and not until then. I'm also grateful to have someone that won't let our seats in Rockdale grow cold.
So now to find a place for us. We searched high and low and yet nothing within our price range felt "right." Finally today as I was trying to find yet another apartment complex to check out, I prayed, "Please Lord, just lead me to the place." I accidentally drove into the wrong neighborhood and up to a house with a for rent sign out front. We called and finally checked it out.
I felt at peace. Even though the place isn't finished and things aren't ready for move in yet, it felt like we could fit there comfortably. The neighborhood was NOT scary. And it's about five miles to both places of work. I liked the land lords. Even though the price was above what I wanted to pay, it was hard to ignore the feeling of being done. Meanwhile, Jhonny kept looking for other houses in that price range in the area. I drove by, but didn't get the same sense of peace. Finally I thought - what's the point? I know this is what I want and I love that it's close to where we need to be. 10 minute commute! I'm all over that!

Now to find day care. I feel like the answer lies somewhere in the ward we're moving to. Or in the members in that area. It's just out of our current stake, but very close to people I know from our stake. So we shall see. I'm curious at what we will find. I have a place in mind, but I've been hesitant to move on it. I need to explore the possibilities first before I commit.
In times like this, the Lord moves in mysterious ways. I don't always understand the reasons or the timing of things, but I know when I see things lining up and unfolding like this that only he could be in charge of the chain of events. I'm so grateful that He has comforted me enough to not look back and turn to salt, but to look forward with faith and rely on Him and his tender mercies.
To my branch family I bid a bittersweet farewell. It's been a great 4 years. Now you need to pray for some more primary kids to come in so the Husher girls won't be the only ones. We love you all and will miss you dearly.

I'm not for eating. . .

Last week when Gavin was in nursery, he turned to his teacher and said, "I don't want my dad to come in here, because he wants to eat me and I'm not food."

Today as we were leaving church, Gavin was sporting a custom made wrist band (made from a wrapper of some sort). He was so excited as he explained, "I can hear when the dinasours and dragons come because this helps me hear them."
"You must be a brave boy."
"Yes, I am."

While at a baseball game Gavin was sitting on my lap kissing my cheeks. Jhonny wanted him to come to him, but he wasn't getting his attention. Finally he shouted, "Hey, Gavin, whatta ya doin?!?"
"Kissin!"

Gavin was asleep during dinner today, so later when he woke up we set out his dinner while I was making cookies. Of course Gavin wanted to eat cookies instead of his dinner. "You have to eat your dinner first, son," I told him.
"I can't!" he retorted.
"Why not?" I asked.
"It makes me pee!"

Last week I took Gavin on a date. While drinking our slushies I thought I would bring up some small talk. "Who's your best friend?" I asked. Without hesitation he said, "LILY!"

Another Summer Sunday

My son is still up. I put him to bed a WHILE ago. It's summer and we're all pretty lax about the routine. Don't worry it will be back in place way sooner than we want it to be.
Earlier - I was trying to talk to my sister on the phone. About sisterly stuff. And my kids somehow all gravitated to where I was trying to be alone. I looked at them and listened intently to her story and thought - ugh - I should have put them to bed first. Now I'm stuck. I finally had to beg off the phone and submit to bedtime routine at least.
Because as tempting as it seemed to dump the responsibility off on my husband and continue my conversation. . . he is finishing his homework that he didn't get to yesterday because. . .well see below.
My kids are so dang cute. I could be bias, but I don't know any little boy cuter or sweeter than mine and girls so beautiful and heart warming. They tackled me with kisses and wouldn't stop til I tickled them off.
How did they grow up so fast? Where has the time fled? Why does it have to go so fast? When I was a kid - summer was FOREVER! I loved the LONG break and playing outside all day long. The days were long then too. I remember finding it ridiculous to go to bed before the sun went down. Probably why I haven't bothered trying to keep up with the regular schedule with my kids.
The days are soooo LONG. The sun just doesn't want to disapear. I'm sure they have great ways of dealing with this in Alaska - but we're in Texas here. And even though the days are long - the summer is already half over. Maybe my laziness is my way of trying to slow it DOWN. Didn't work - a week has already disappeared and we still haven't completely unpacked the van.
But I digress. So teaching primary today, one of my kiddos asked if we could just take a break today. Irony was that we were discussing the ten virgins and how we need to be prepared for the second coming.  So obviously we can't take a break. THAT would totally contradict the point of the lesson. But I get it. It's summer. Lazy, hazy dayz of summer. Where you just don't want to do anything at all because you know that before too long, you're going to be fully swung into the middle of chaos and not enough time to fit it all in.
Right now - I'm content to be lazy. . .
Until yesterday. . . I was thinking it had been a whole week of nothing but curling up with a good book and being completely unable to think of a single necessary thing to do. And feeling like I needed to pull myself out of the slump and get busy actually DOING something productive. That's when I decided it was time to straighten up some things around the house and rearrange furniture. Unfortunately, this required some rewiring of certain electronic gadgets. Not my expertise although I offered to give it a go. My husband reluctantly joined in. He complained that all week I've done nothing and NOW I get a cleaning bug? I asked him if he'd prefer I dropped everything and returned to my book. Not a chance.
We got one room done. Now for tackling the garage. Oh darn - it's gonna have to wait til after my hair appt in Houston tomorrow. . . I wish I didn't actually have to drive to get there. That would be nice. To blink my way to places I want to be. I've been waiting for that invention my whole life.
So much for being productive.

Trek to Utah 2011