Soccer today was fun :D

4 years ago, 2J exited from the inter-class tournament without a win and I was a sub who did not even get to play. 2 years ago, 4D came in like 4th from bottom in the league, without winning a game legitamately as well (our two wins came from walkovers).

But 6M is awesome :D

We started the game well, owning the entire class and was 3-0 up in half an hour. But in the last 20 minutes, the other class scored 4 goals in a row and in the end we won 4-3.

The last goal was an own goal x)))

I really enjoyed the game. I think I played decently well, at least for the first half, but I kind of lost concentration in the 2nd when the sun rose and entered my line of vision. And since it was not in a competition or tournament setting, everyone just played for fun and there was no bad blood or anything. Everyone was just smiling and laughing at the end and we all shook hands.

I can't wait for another game the same time next week :DDD

keep this up

before i went to sleep last night, i promised myself that i would not touch a single iphone today.

i did it (:

expectations

My sis went back to hwachong for their awards presentation day today :) she received 2 awards: the Commendation Award for getting 7As for A levels, and the Outstanding Student Award for simply being awesome x)

I'm really proud of her.

She was like any other normal student in Singapore. She's not exceedingly smart, but she made it up with her hard work. She has never topped her class before in primary school, but she got a PSLE score which could have made it to Nanyang. She went to St. Nicks instead, and like several others in my class, she got 2 points for O-levels. She then went to Hwachong.

I've never seen her play computer games before. She never owned a facebook account until one month ago. Her highest grade for promos was a C, and even at Prelims she never got higher than an E for GP. But she mugged her way to 7As (Math, Chem, Chinese Lit, H3 Chinese Lit, GSC, HCL, PW). She got a merit for the Hwachong diploma, and was awarded a scholarship to Fudan University in China even before her A-levels results came out.

I'm really proud of her (:

My grandpa was over the moon this evening when my sister showed him her awards. Everything we get some kind of achievement, we would show it to our grandpa. He loves us a lot (: I remembered him saying just now, “周家也总算出了一个优秀学生，一个状元啊！哈哈！”

On the other hand, what happened to me?

I started primary school by topping the class in p2 and 3 (p1 cmi, top scorer xiang peng was in my class). Grandpa was elated when I was admitted into GEP in P4. In P5 i brought back this huge trophy the size of my torso for winning a chess competition and grandpa took a picture of me posing with it. In P6 i remember I got this gold medal for coming in top 40 out of over 400 participants for SMO, and grandpa was so happy he bragged my achievement to all his neighbours and friends.

And thats it. All the best things seem to have ended in primary school. Apart from a few delightful moments like winning Scrabble in sec 4 and 2nd in Musicfest this year, I believe I have been degrading all these while.

Grades in secondary school were bad. Grades in JC were worse.

I really felt like crying and hiding in a hole to reflect on myself when I saw my S for Physics and the entire paragraph of words in red ink by Ms Ong on my paper. I think half the class got an A. B is a dissapointment, and C is a rarity. And tonight's dinner with grandpa makes me very touched, and very guilty.

My entire family expects me to do well, and I'm the eldest son in my generation of 8 people. I'm supposed to do even better than my sister. It's not that this expection is pressurizing and I hate it. It is not, because I know I can do it, and the only thing I hate now is my inability to discipline myself and perform.

Grandpa ended the dinner saying, "我今年已经八十一岁了，但我一直照顾好自己的身体，因为我希望将还来能够参加你的大学毕业典礼。”

I started my education with a bang. I'm going to end it in the same manner.

the countdown timer is really scary aargh!

when i first installed it, it was still 70 days to Prelims T_T time really flies omg.

i failed all my 3 sciences, what a life. But at least I got a B for music, so that's a consolation.

I'm not expecting much, for July, I just want to
1. Finish and clear every single technique compo
2. Finish and clear free compo
[In other words, the entire composition portfolio will be out this month :D]
3. Finish and clear H3 essay
4. Keep up with lessons
5. Work on my worst topic of every subject, (i.e. Dynamics, Vectors, Ionic Equilibria)

That's all. It loooks simple, I'm not like mugging all the topics yet, but if I can really accomplish all these, I will be very very happy already. I think its really quite a feat, and Points 1 to 3 will be like a enormous load off my shoulders.

:)

Ego boosting moments

Ego boosting picture #1
Now let's go fill up the remaining subjects in the same manner :D

Ego boosting picture #2Muahahaha. Finally made it past the 60kg mark :DDD

---

World Cup Finals tonight!
Or rather, tmrw twilight!

I really really hope Spain can win! The time has really come for them. They have waited like generations and generations to produce this batch of players, every one of them gifted and talented. 11 of them put together is just such a formidable force that deserves to be at the top of the world. Even their 3rd string players will be starters in other country's lineups.

They cannot replicate the same results anymore 4 years later, some of their players would have retired, and Villa at over 30 might not produce the same form as Forlan. 4 years later it would probably be Germany's turn with Muller and Ozil, but now, the stage is Spain's.

Really hope Spain can win! But I got a hunch that there might be an upset. Whatever, I will definitely be watching the game :) Hopefully Paul is correct once more, even though he has a history of predicting Finals incorrectly.

GO SPAIN!

nice people (:

something stupid happened to me today. i left the mrt leaving my wallet behind in the train T_T

but thankfully to a few super nice people, i managed to get back my wallet without losing a single thing inside.

1. The lady who found my wallet and returned it at kovan station. She left me a note to call her when I retrieve my wallet, and advised me to take more care of my belongings in the future :DDD

2. The two officers at the passenger service counter of bishan station, where the stupid incident happened. They sent an email informing all the stations about my missing wallet and sent people to check. Later on after my cello lesson, i had to make my way to kovan to retrieve my wallet but i was penniless and ez-link-cardless. They let me in free of charge (:

3. The officer at kovan station who informed me about my lost wallet like just half an hour after i lost my wallet, and the other officer who returned me my wallet when i went to retrieve it later on. Interestingly enough, along with the wallet, he gave me a note with his name on it and a feedback form x)

I commended all four officers, posted the letter at the buangkok mrt letterbox, and walked home happily :) Nice people really make my day

CTs

Life's so much better now :D So much more discipline, so many more tasks completed every day, and I go to sleep happy knowing that I've done something productive :)

Spain won last night :D First time I watched Spain play, and I must say I'm really impressed. They seriously played super well last night, Germany hardly had a chance.

And so far we've already gotten back Chem, Physics MCQ, and Music compo and paper. Physics I think I bottomed the class again, class average 78% wtheck, I got 11/20, I don't think anyone fared worse. I know my section B is seriously screwed, so think Physics will probably fail this time again.

Chem I improved by 50%, from 32% to 48%, but that's still a fail. Sigh. But I'm really super happy for Brent. 107% improvement :DDD And other people like Shangxuan, Michelle and Eliz. I shall join your ranks really soon :)

Music is quite epic. I bombed Chinese music, the only section which I believe I have an edge over the rest D: I couldn't find my pipa notes before the exam so I didn't study the notation and that's 3 marks gone. And I made some stupid mistakes here and there, like the ban meter which I went to invent my own term. Sigh, totally could have gotten like 18 for this section. Gamelan was a total flop cos I didn't study Javanese at all. 5/20 is really T__T So currently, music looks like its going to be a C.

Okay on to compo. I bottomed the class, and I think I deserved it :'(

a new beginning

	CT’09	Promos	CT1	CT2
Physics	B	B	S	?
Chem	D	D	U	?
Math	C	B	B	?
Music	B	B	D	?
GP	B	E	D	?

That’s my life thus far. I think I can safely say I’m the worse performing student in my class, especially after my dismal performance in CT1. Why is it going this way?

Commitments is just a convenient scapegoat. February-March was music fest. Okay fine. March-April was Chamber concert where I stayed back almost every night. Fine.

BUT WHAT THE F*** WAS I DOING IN MAY?

I had no excuse there. I wasted the entire term 2. I did not submit a single technique during April and May, did not do a single tutorial and did not hand in a single Math and Chem assignment. I think by that time I was so behind in the syllabus that I just kept avoiding my work. I did not understand a single thing at all, and I couldn’t bring myself to face reality and just took a cowardly avoidance approach.

I keep telling myself I want to do well, but its always all talk and no action. I kept thinking that there’s still time, I have June to do the catching up, I can do it, it will all be okay, but in the end.. I just get myself more and more screwed. And even amidst music fest, people like Bon still got his A for Math, almost got an A for music, and did decently well for Physics as well.

I really had no excuse.

I think no other person in rj is in the same plight as me now: I’m the only H3 music compo major who is doing 2 technique sets. The rest of them either have no H3 or are doing one technique and lieder set. And I’m still holding a job that will end only in about mid September after I see my student through his grade 4 cello exam.

3 more compositions to go: 2 techniques and 1 free compo. And I probably have to keep editing and make multiple drafts for my remaining 6 techniques. One million topics to study for the four subjects, and there’s still a gargantuan H3 essay to tackle.

Now I need either a miracle, or immense discipline. I’ll opt for the latter, and I really believe I can do it.

Hong Rui has been dormant for the past 15 months. And now he is awake.

RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

	CT’09	Promos	CT1	CT2	Prelims	A-levels
Physics	B	B	S	?	A	A
Chem	D	D	U	?	A	A
Math	C	B	B	?	A	A
Music	B	B	D	?	A	A
GP	B	E	D	?	B	A
H1 Chinese	A	A	-	-	-	A
PW	-	-	-	-	-	A
H3 Music	-	-	-	-	-	at least a Merit :)

See the awesome coundown timer at the side? Its time to start mugging everyone! :D Jiayou!

ct2

Math confirm fail. Chem should fail. Physics might fail. Music should pass.

I hate my efficiency. On the last day of school, I drew up a nice revision schedule that I believe should prepare me well enough to get my first A for Math, Music and Physics, and at least a B for Chem. The first week went well. The second week first 3 days went well also. Then I started composing my music techniques and everything just went haywire. I spent a total of 12 days on composing, the first 4 days were just completely stoning. On the 5th day I wrote 4 bars. And then finally over the next 7 days I finished writing 3 techniques. By then, it was 4 days to CTs. Fml.


Okay but something quite disturbing happened on Tuesday night. I was mugging physics and suddenly felt quite dizzy and took a break. That was when I realized that the rightmost one quarter of my eye became blurry and I cannot see anything. Its like when you’re looking at something on top of a flame, the image is wavy and distorted.

I had similar occurrences before. The first time was on 29th August 2008. Second time was in 2009, Chinese New Year’s eve. It seems to happen once a year -.- The pain is so bad that I seem to recall all the past times where I had it.

And yup due to the distorted vision, I had a really excruciating headache. I really felt like ripping my head apart. You just imagine, if suddenly your vision is distorted, like you’re looking everything upside down instead, I think you’ll go crazy too. Okay but from past experiences, I knew that all should be well after a sleep, and so I went to bed right away.

The time was 10:30pm then, but the pain was so unbearable I couldn’t sleep. I came out of bed at about 11:30, applied some funny medicated oil and went to bed again. It didn’t help. At 3:30, I woke up again, and that was when I vomited. Twice.

T_T

I finally went to bed at about 4:30am. I was quite prepared to pon physics CT the next day alr. But my damn alarm rang at 6:30, and I woke up to find most of the pain gone. So even though I still felt quite feeble, I went to school and did the CT.

Sigh I really hope it doesn’t happen again. Distorted vision + headache is like the worse thing anyone can go through. I already have a long lasting eye disease known as floaters, meaning I see translucent gray dots and lines all over my vision, and they float around. Its like a shadow, when you try to look at them, then they’ll dart away. You keep trying to zoom in on them, and they keep moving. Quite a stupid pastime to do when you’re bored.

Yeah I told the eye doctor during my NS checkup and he diagnosed me and said its okay. This wavy vision distortion + headache thing seems to be something else, but even though its quite painful, it hardly happens.

I think I'm starting to become gradually blind. The number of floaters seems to be increasing. It used to be only 1 floater at about p1, and I thought its quite fun to play with trying to look at it -.- Then over the years it shot up so much I think I lost count. There should be around 20 or more dots and strands of floaters in my visions now. And floaters is a syndrome for retina detachment, which = blindness. Hopefully it won't happen though, the NS eye doctor say it shouldn't.

---

If I become blind one day, how would my life be? Thank goodness I've been blessed with studying this thing called music that I can still listen to. I think I can still play cello if I'm blind. Can I still compose? And are there any blind conductors out there? (I think that would be really cool)

Actually to some extent I think sight is a sense that is quite a hindrance in certain areas, especially when it comes to music. Remove that sense and just use your ears, you find that you suddenly pick up so much more. You find that you're able to immerse yourself totally in this realm of sound, attaining new levels of perfection and emotional fulfilment that you've never experienced. And you paint your very own world in your mind, unobstructed by the faults and blemishes you see in the real world today.

Life is so much more pure, innocent, and authentic.