Not your usual weekend.

Its been a busy weekend..

for my standard. From visiting yr sick uncle to a Eurasian dinner to Ringo's pub. Next morning woke up early to watch the past and present SFI students which both side includes my cousins playing Rugby to another set of Ugly Betty and then to visit my uncle again to a French bread and lots of different cheese dinner. early next morning->church.then back here.

yeah...busy

But one thing I cant get out of my mind is my sick uncle. Looking back when he was healthier altough he was thin.but he had a lil bit of flesh..he was looking so healthy. The first day i visited him I was pretty shocked to see a thin vulnerable old man lying in his bed. he lost sooo much weight.
God..i was feeling so sad when i saw him. Took me quite a lot of strenght to control the waterworks.

i have to respect my aunt who stays with him everyday of every hour. his wife. i think she only goes for a walk when he asleep. to stay strong everyday.talk to him,comfort him and to go through the stress of a sick husband who she knows is going to leave her soon. i dont think im strong enough to do that,

i just pray for my dearest uncle that his pain is lessened and for my aunt so that she may be strong.

just had news that my uncle is not doing well today.

p.s: i know this post is a bit jumbled. cant seem to know what to write. just write whatever im thinking....

budderfly out.

When i was going through youtube to look through lee hom's MV's i came across this one. he did a duet with Siti Nurhaliza.

Somehow, while watching the second part of the MV my bulu roma naik.

I dunno it was because of

1) the second part of the song was a famous song of a dead woman,

or

2) they both sang it so beautifully.

maybe siti did somehow steal the limelight...

scary..summore listening in the wee hours of the morning...darn.

Of alcohol and duty free labuan

so i just came back from Labuan, the pearl of the China Sea. Thats what they call it. Must have chiplak-ed from Penang Pearl of the Orient.
Back to my story.

Labuan was superb.fun.
Especially for the drunkards and the chocolate lover.
(me!)

Left LCC Terminal at about 12.50pm. reached 3.30. Relaxed the whole time.Checked out my brothers apartment.

HUGE. His room is like one and a half of my rented house hall. practically can fit 2 families there.

Nice quiet place. Trees all over. Roads are ok.
Practically a nice quiet place to settle down once you are bored of the hectic ckl lifestyle.

Anyways, at about 8 we had 4kg's of crabs, eaten by only 4 people. looking at the fact that our main dish is crab, we didn't eat anything else. black pepper crab, rempah crab, lemak crab and sweet sour spicy crab. NICE~

especially the black pepper one.fuyoh.Plus the pepper is fresh.sumore they give so much sauce. Super Cun-ted.

After, we went to this country and western bar. ok-ok la.
i had vodka ice.ONLY VODKA. wit ice. normal la the taste. When i finished that, my brothers friend Charles told me to try 'California Girl'. Just want to know how it looks like. lol.
It was so bloody strong wei. Almost died. It would be fine if the vodka in it was less.
Strong vodka+orange citrusy juice+mango juice= one red numb face.
My bro took something worse than mine.I didn't dare try.
Other than that it was all okla.My bros friend took blue lagoon,Singapore Swing and err...dunno what else. all also not that strong.

After finding that place boring *yawn* we went to this bar/lounge/karaoke place called 'tip top.'
It was a good place la. they had this indonesian girls and one guy organist singer who were like super good.enjoyed that place...i mean exccept for that wierd name la. Had a few bottles of beer..3 i think. All of us except for my dad. Plz take note, my dad is still with us.

When Tip Top close at two, we in search for more adventure went to 'Poppin'. Yea..This is more like it. A much better name. This Is A CLUB. Where we go clubbing. And wanna know something....Dad was still wit us. lol. Brothers friend ordered a black label and then we went again. Din know how many i drank tho. All i know i was EMO-DRUNK/HI

Shit.never been emo-drunk. I was practically crying in the club. Shit. Plus Charles was like, stop crying ctop crying.i cannot see girls crying and all. Who can stop when ppl ask you to stop...rite.
LOL. So bloody wierd.

Next day was a horrible one. One big Hangover. Felt like vomiting but just tak bleh keluar. Then felt sick the whole bloody day..yer.shopping also cannot. Oh, bought a lot of chocolates...anyone wants, plz come over.

then relax and sleep the whole day

went to the lounge/karaoke/ bar place again. All i drank is beer. 3 bottles only. Others were drinkin JD. couldn't. felt sick.
Celebrated my dads birthday there also...lol.
After at about 2, my dad n i went back.Dad din want me to get drunk or hi again I guess. But my bro and friends went to poppin again...:(
But i think my dad is quite impressed with my drinking skills...wahahaa

then a lil of shopping and then we left at 3 in the afternoon...sunday...

yer...now so lazy wanna do assignments.
so much summore...
rest for tonite....
goonite...


p.s: anyone for labuan? free lodging...i think..lol

budderFly OuT~~

damn...

yeah i know, i am again sorry for abandoning my blog for a very very long time.

i'm pretty stressed now.
Thanks to all my bloody assignments la.
maybe its my fault. For procastinating and leaving it all to my last minute ethics.
Fuck it la.

Thanks to that im having muscle aches all over-thanks to the stress.
and also a wierd pain-uncomfortable feeling at my lower abdomen.
should i be worried? Maybe i am just paranoid, thinking of nonsense during these time.

arghh...

It only happens when im doing my assignments.all this shit.
SAVE ME!!!

budderfly out~

Ow...My Heart!!!

ookaay...This does not concern my love life.

But,

it does concern my best friend which became my ex-best friend in form two. Best friends Forever, we called ourself. Almost sisters. While we were growing up people mistook us for sisters, even twins. We've been friends since we were babies...i think.

Anyway, i was reading her friendster blog, she was talking about the time when we were not on talking terms. We still are, altough i think its our ego that keeps us from saying hi to each other. Well, 12 years of friendship down the drain.

ok, back to the topic.

I found out that i was NOT her closest friend, ever. Yea, i just realised that typing it down makes it sound so pathetically sad. But its true.

What happened to the time when we'd talk on the company phone for hours?

Or, the time when we'd use our masak-masak to smash bunga raya into pulp.
And laughing at my brother for tasting the thing to entertain us.

And the time when I had my whole head bandaged after my accident, she was the one to visit me and entertain me. And no care about my super scarred forehead.

Or the time we played a two-person hide and seek.heh.

Or the 'tutup mata' game in the van that had us all jumping in the van like baboons.

Ok i guess you get the picture. There are more things we have shared other than memories. Pain and happiness, laughter and tears. Even our dreams about our future. and gossips. Even at a very young age. Even the most personal stuff you dont normally talk to your close friends. Only BFF.


I mean doesnt it leave an imprint in her heart and soul. There is one in mine. And also a HUMONGOUS chunk taken out from my heart. Well it did feel that way, that fateful day.

Such a pity we fought over something stupider than quarreling over a jacket. Maybe i was immature. i was wasn't I. Only fourteen. Maybe if we did have a fighting/quarelling match everything would be fine. Let our feelings be heard. But i was a coward to say 'I'd never talk to you again'.

Just to think that more than 12 years of friendship and more are meant nothing more than memories. She might not even remember them.

Oh well. I guess we were both meant to go our saperate ways anyway. You and I are of different personalities.

Oh ya....she is still the bestest friend I ever had. Childish as it sound.


Ok...reading it back just makes me feel so insecure and unsure of myself.
Damn Fucking emo i guess.
Hurt most probably.

*just some random thoughts.*
miss my friend....
miss HOME!!!!
WANNA EAT MOMMY'S FOOD.
AIDAN.....MISS GODMA NOT???!!!
WHERE IS MY SMELLY PILLOW!


ok fine....i'll go.


BuDDerFly OuT~~~

Part 1

it's about time I updated something,somewhat.

Somehow i can't bring myself to write about anything particularly interesting, its not that i don't have anything to say but i just can't put it into words.hrrmmph.... Typical me. Can't express my feelings.

anyhow, this is supposed to be an update on my whereabouts and eer, good-doings.

heh.

So i just celebrated ma birthday a few weeks ago and thanks to all my friends in KL, it was wonderful. No cake and all but who could ask for more when two groups of people, one frm hostel and the others are from UTAR who were also ex-hostelians, took the trouble to meet up and just to hang out on that day. You know, with the UTAR classes just beginning and Denise having one more exam to go.

But we managed to watch a very boring and eer useless movie called 'Stranger than Fiction'. Din know what was the purpose of that movie at all. But some disagreed. Different people, Different views, no doubt.

Dinner at Nandos.Came back and then we decided to have a drinking session.Heh. Finally that bottle of tequila i've been holding for almost a year has proven its usefullness. niah. But Hell, none of us got drunk, even Sineu, the guy with the lowest tolerance level i know of. NOT an insult.:P But 3 or 4 of them were tipsy tho. Not gonna mention the names coz one or two of them are the ones that are holding something that can be used as blackmail.

aih..i'll just end this here.Got loads more to blog about and i'll just leave it for another day.

BudderFly OuT~

Funny, how life can seem so short.

Today you're all healthy and feeling young and the next day you see the Grim Reaper, Hades, or the Angel of Death. Just goes to show that good looks and wealth can't do anything to to persuade them for another day to live. To say your last goodbyes and seek forgiveness from your loved ones.

Don't get me wrong or anything, I'm not going to die. Just that certain events got me thinking about those stuff. It just made me realise that you can't bribe Hades with your money. Or buy Grim Reaper a brand new titanium sickle;guaranteed to get the souls he wants except yours. No, you can't use your money for an extra day.

My moms cousin right...he passed away yesterday. When i saw him a few years ago I admired him. Yes, he is old. But, he was filled with life and was still handsome even at the age of 50 something. He even had a very nice body, i think many people my age would like.I was in awe as he,at that age managed to do a jump over a railing, that you only see in movies.

Not exagerating.

Then, lately i heard, he lost so much weight, gotten so old and he lost his will to live. Thats the time he had cancer. He was a very rich man, but look, it did not help him live,didn't it? i think what i'm trying to get across is that we should enjoy life. You know. Appreciate the smaller things. Laugh and play more. You might not know when Hades may be smiling evilly straight at you, Grim Reaper is knocking at your door or the Angel of Death is waiting for you at the foot of your bed.

Love yourself. Don't fret over small things. No use crying over spilt milk. Wipe the floor, wash the carpet and get a new box,carton at the shop around the corner. You might not know what is waiting for you there. New oppurtunities, old friends. Everything happens for a reason!

Rest in Peace,
N S'M
BudderFly Out~

This is me!

They told me to upload the avatar of me. So this is it. You can create it here

Anyway, i shall explain why this is soo me.

*plain,simple and casual white blouse/shirt with a word i'd use anytime anywhere. Only i control myself.

*blue jeans-my favourite. Comfortable too.

*hairs kinda brown. Tied and untidy

*I drink, thus the beer mug in my gloved hand.

*my ever sleepy looking eyes eveyone knows me by.

*expression-less mouth.

*the scars, is a representation of all the scars i actually have on my face.:)

*oh, the background, kinda look like where i grew up.minus the snow.(creepy i know).

i now call me avatar.....budderfly.

I know, I know...the irony.

BudderFly Out~