To pierce or not to pierce...

...it's not really a question just a choice I never really thought about before. By the way this is about ear piercing, specifically that of little girls.
My mom was not the ear piercing type so I didn't have mine done until I was 10 or so when my sister and I asked if we could do it. Mine eventually closed up and I did them again when I was 19 or 20. In Egypt the little girls have their ears pierced soon after birth in the hospital. It's the Egyptian (maybe Arab) way of differentiating between girls and boys. Here, in the US we use clothes; pink or blue. In Egypt there is problem with boys wearing pink. In fact, a shoe salesman tried to sell us shoes with pink lines and hearts on them for Karim and was confused when we told him boys in the US don't wear pink or hearts.
Anyway, Roqaya has been eyeing my earrings for a while and asking about them and why Baba doesn't have any. I told her earrings are for ladies and girls. She thought about this for a little and asked where her earrings were. So we told her when she's a little bigger she can get earrings. When she was coming up on her 3rd birthday she was asking almost everyday so hubby told her maybe when she was 3 she could get some.
Well, she turned 3 on Friday and on Saturday we went to the mall to get her earrings. I told her it was going to hurt a little and asked if she wanted to do it and she said, yes she wanted her earrings (like it didn't matter what she would have to endure). She sat in the chair bravely knowing the people messing with her ears were going to hurt her. She flinched a little when the guns went in but she didn't cry, just held a sad face for a minute or so. But once she was able to see herself in the mirror, she was all smiles and said she was happy even though it hurt a little. She looked at herself for a long time in the mirror and was so proud of herself. For one, she was a big girl now, but mostly she seemed happy to complete her girlness. She now is a 3 year old with long hair, pink dresses, and sparkly earrings--all of which fulfill her idea of what constitutes a girl.
So, for anyone thinking of piercing their little baby girl's ears, I say wait and let her ask, it's so much more than just having extra accessories.

Why Homeschool

Some people think of home-schooling as a negative thing. Some may even think that a family who chooses to home-school could be guilty of neglect. Though this could be true in some cases, a family with a sincere devotion to home-schooling--one could argue--is doing more for their child/ren than public (or even private or charter) school can offer. I don't mean to say that home-schooling is necessarily better than traditional schooling. I went to public school and am fine. But, in my case I feel like the best choice for our family is to home-school.

We looked into public school but found it's not a good fit for us and I would not feel comfortable sending my kids. The school system in our area has been having problems for a while, like many public schools, due to federal and state regulations. In one report I heard, teachers were caught helping students cheat on standardized tests to get better overall scores which leads to better funding for the school. I feel like the focus has shifted and the students and teachers are caught in the middle. At our nearest elementary school some classes were cancelled (I'm guessing due to funding) and the students had to be transfered to another elementary school along with all the students who were already attending that school. The school is not that big so I can only imagine the issues they are having with class size. 

We looked into private schools in our area after deciding public school wouldn't work for us. Unfortunately, the ones in our area are either way too expensive or just not up to the standard we would like for the money we would be paying. 

I have several friends who home-school and have had the opportunity to observe them and their kids over the last few years. One thing I've realized and come to really love about home-schooling is that formal home-schooling is really just an extension of what we're already doing at home. It is at home that I'm teaching my kids motor skills, cognitive skills, social skills, etc. Why not continue with academic skills? Sure, there will be times when I run into a subject that will be difficult to teach (like math). But these are the times to use my resources. I can either get my husband to do math lessons after dinner, utilize the many online resources for learning math, or call on my friend who has a PhD in math to teach my kids advanced math while I teach her kids about the fundamentals of psychology or how to play volleyball. 

I love the one-on-one interaction home-schooling provides. That way if my kids struggle in a subject we have the freedom to slow down and keep doing it until they get it. This is something I wish I had while in school. Math is something that really gives me a hard time and I think a lot of the reason is that I got a little confused somewhere in elementary school but since I was part of a bigger class the teacher kept going. So I started middle school still a little confused. I was able to make it through but not with a full understanding of what I was doing. I also love that we can spend extra time on a subject that the kids really enjoy. 

I also really enjoy the ability to take school anywhere. Last week some friends and I got the kids together and went to the zoo. One of my friends is home-schooling her 1st grader and as part of his science work he brought a notebook and filled out a table of habitats and listed which animals belong to which habitats. When reporting school time, she is able to use our fun time at the zoo as science time, PE time, writing, and spelling time. I also like how this encourages kids to learn everywhere, not just in the classroom. 

Some people claim that home-schoolers don't get the same opportunities to socialize as kids in traditional schools. But, I would argue they can get equal or better socialization. Home-schooling is much more time efficient which leaves more time in the day for playing with friends or other extracurricular activities. 

There are many more reasons why I am happy to have the option to home-school and why I feel it's the best fit for our family. For anyone interested in more on home-schooling I would recommend this book

Good Advice

Like most  moms, I worry if I'm doing right by my kids. Sometimes I wonder if I'm totally messing up. A while back I found myself getting more frustrated and questioning myself more than usual and at the very worst of it I received two simple lines of advice that were totally unsolicited and not really even meant as advice toward me, just women talking, but I soaked them in.
At one of our weekly get-togethers some moms were talking about our kids' and the reactions of some people. Like when a kid is acting up in public and then someone says, "oh, you need to train your kid better", or something like that. At this same time I was really battling with Karim and his sometimes-undesirable behavior at home and outside. Karim is awesome. He also has A LOT of energy, curiosity, and excitement. He likes to be the center of attention and is not a fan of sitting for more than a few minutes at a time. These traits are not always easy for me to deal with.
So back to the advice. My friend was talking about her son acting up at a restaurant and a stranger coming and telling her she's not doing a good job with her son, who is 1 (this also happened to us on a an airplane that was stalled on the runway for over an hour when Karim was not yet 2 and a man with no kids tried to give us parenting advice). So another friend said, "you know, everything about our kids comes from God, their temperament, personality,etc. and as moms we're all doing our best to teach them".  I really took this in and thought, "Karim is who he is, not because of something I did or didn't do but because God made him that way, and as long as I'm teaching with patience and mercy the learning will come soon enough".
The second piece of advice came from another friend when we were talking about taking care of the house with tornado-like kids living in it. Anyone with young kids knows what I'm talking about. While cleaning one room, another one is being destroyed. A friend from high school put it well here. While discussing the impossible job of having a clean house when young kids are living in it my friend told us about advice her mother (who raised 4 kids) gave her: "lower your standards, lower your standards, lower your standards". Really, what's more important, having a super clean house, or having a sort-of clean house and having fun with the kids?

Funny Girl

It's always fun to see how the kids do things differently, how each of them have distinct personalities and interests. Roqaya is always surprising us with the silly things she does. Since she could talk she's been all about the color pink. Those of you who know me well know I'm not super girly or anything so Roqaya's fascination of all things Girl is all her own choosing. She loves anything that is pink or sparkles.
At the library yesterday she decided she was going to pick all the books. Karim usually does this with me, but he was busy playing so she jumped right in. Here were her selections

We read a couple of these last night, and although they are cute, the stories are not very good. I probably should have picked up a couple back-up books, but the kids are happy so it's ok.

Roqaya also has some habits that are so far off from what Karim does/did, as well as what most people do. We did the "Peanut Butter and Jelly" song at the library some months ago and the kids really got into pbj's after that. I've never seen anyone each a sandwich in any other way than the "normal" way, until Roqaya started eating sandwiches, and almost anything layered. 

She separates the sandwich, then scrapes off the top layer with all the goodness with her teeth and then she's done. I've seen her do it with bagels and one time only, in the car, with a twix candy bar. I knew the chocolate would be a mess either way, but this was bad and we will never do layered candy bars in the car anymore.

**for the Egyptian aunties--I thought you would enjoy seeing Karim having a little Egyptian soda party here in MD :)

The Bad Man and the Happy People

A few weeks ago we did a lesson with the kids about Moses and the Pharaoh. How the Pharaoh was a bad man and very mean and that God helped Moses and the Israelites escape through the Red Sea. We've been following the events in Egypt since the protests began last month but haven't really involved the kids much with so much going on each day. But, yesterday that all changed when the Egyptians finally got what they were praying for. Last night we went over a few videos and pictures, showing the kids what the people in Egypt were doing. I told Karim the story of the Bad Man and the happy people of Egypt. We showed him these videos (the first one has English subtitles, but not the second which is the Egyptian National Anthem--correction: it's not the national anthem, it just contains the chorus line (ya belady, ya belady, ana behebak ya belady), the main words being "oh my country, I love you". Some of the images show some of the people who died during the protests)

then talked about why the people were so happy and what the Bad Man did to the people he was supposed to be helping, how he hurt Karim's aunts and uncles and cousins. Then he asked to see who the Bad Man is. We showed him a video of Mubarak giving his final, pathetic speech and out of no where the kids start yelling "get out! shoo! we don't want you!". I was surprised because I had not voiced my opinions out loud, just in type. It must be the Egyptian blood running in their veins. 

Since we couldn't be with our Egyptian family yesterday we did a little celebration for the kids and ourselves. We took them to pray in the masjid and then let them pick what food they wanted. Karim voted for a hamburger from McDonald's, not what I wanted him to say, but they both got their happy meals and were happy. We came home and hung out together and had some chocolate cake the kids helped me make the other day. With all the excitement we didn't sleep until around midnight and I'm really tired this morning, but it was "once in a lifetime" day yesterday so I can't complain. والحمد لله رب العالمين 

Growing and Changing

It's been a while since I last blogged so I will just try to fit in everything we've been doing the last few months.
The biggest change is that I started teaching Karim how to read. I put in tons of research time on homeschooling and finally have at least a tentative plan of what I want to do. For now our focus is on reading English and Arabic and then we'll go from there once we have to prepare for formal schooling. Karim was born 3 days before the Maryland cut-off date so he's always going to be a year behind his buddies, but really that is ok with me, especially considering his active personality--putting off sitting in a desk is better for all of us. So we've been working through The Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading and so far it's been great. We started with short vowels and now we're almost done with the consonants, next we will start putting consonants and short vowels together to read small words. Then we move on to long vowels and common letter combinations, at which point Karim should be able to read simple books. He has picked up a few tricks for reading already. One of his favorite things is reading books and he seems to do well at memorizing words from these books that we read a lot as well as common words he sees around outside. He stores all these words and when he sees them elsewhere he "reads" them (but really he has just memorized what they look like).
We ordered him some Arabic language activity books to work on letter recognition and he watches YouTube videos to practice pronunciation and vocabulary. I was finally able to find an Arabic teacher book with English teacher notes, so we ordered that and will start it next week along with the activity work books. We're having a really good time and I have enjoyed teaching him and look forward to more with Karim and Roqaya when she's ready, although she is still getting a lot out of Karim's lessons.
It's been getting colder so we've been staying home more often. It's not easy finding indoor things to do that don't cost a lot of money. We have 2 weekly activities we do that work well--the Toddler group and the story time at the library, at what time we also do our weekly library check-outs which seem to be growing. Each time I leave the library I have more books than I returned. There are just so many good ones and I'm pretty sure the kids put some in the bag when I'm not looking.
We've been playing Wii fit and Wii sports to keep somewhat active at home (right now Karim is biking and I'm able to have a little time to myself). Karim (and sometimes Roqaya) has started helping out more with chores. Karim loves to vacuum and put laundry away and I recently started using a timer to motivate him to clean-up toys. I came across the idea in a book and wasn't sure if it would work, but the timer works for getting him to do just about anything--cleaning, getting dressed, getting ready for bed--things that shouldn't take long but do for some reason.
That's where we are and I will try to update more often

Go Fish

I recently picked up a pack of Go Fish cards for Karim and we've had a great time playing when we get some alone time during Roqaya's nap or when she is busy playing with her toys. I think it gave hubby and I inspiration to eat more fish. With hubby growing up on the shore of the Mediterranean and on the Nile delta he is familiar with many fish dishes. I grew up in Colorado so am familiar mainly with native lake and river fish. We found a nice little fish market and have been experimenting with different fish and recipes. We normally keep a supply of frozen Tilapia fillets in the freezer. When I was in Egypt we ate fresh, whole Tilapia (Bolti) several times and I really enjoyed it. So, we picked up a few Tilapia and had them cleaned there (cleaning a fish is something I'm not sure I'm ready for). We marinated them in butter and garlic and hubby made a nice stuffing of green peppers, onions, and lemon. They turned out really well and were very tasty. Last night we tried a different fish, a White Bass and changed up the recipe a little, using less lemon and adding a Serrano pepper.
I got pretty good at de-boning fish in Egypt but seem to have lost the skill. It takes me a while to get all the meat out, but on both nights, it was worth it.

This was the Tilapia with rice and salad